Self Help Radio 122713: Indiepop A To Z # 42

Eeek!  I've soldiered through the letter H & now have begun the letter I.  I am glad no one has recommended me to the funny farm yet.

It's the end of the year, but the show's on the same old website: self help radio dot net.  It's also in two easy-to-download parts: part the one & part the two.  Alphabetical list of songs below.

Happy new year!

(part one)
"Too Young To Be In Love" Hunx & His Punx _Too Young To Be In Love_
"Fluoro" Huon _Library Records 1998 - 2003_
"The Sun Shines Here" Hurrah! _The Sun Shines Here 7"_

"Step Into My World" Hurricane # 1 _Hurricane # 1_
"Not That Easy" The Hurries _EardrumsPop 100_
"Saturday" Hushpad _From Here To There_
"Flower Of The Hour" Lida Husik _Joyride_
"When Time Was On Their Side" Husky Rescue _Ship Of Light_

"Sometimes You're Incredible" Hyacinth Girls _The Sound Of Leamington Spa Vol. 6_
"See Me Through" The Hybirds _The Hybirds_
"Questions I Can't Answer" Hydroplane (Darla 100)
"Car & Kettle" Hyper Kinako _Hyper Kinako_
"No Te Sientas Mal" Hypnomango _Ashell IV_

"Me To Be" I Am The World Trade Center _Out Of The Loop_

(part two)

"Charlemagne" The I Live The Life Of A Movie Star Hideout _Moshi Moshi (Pop International Style)_
"Preposterous Tales" I, Ludicrous _It's Like Everything Else_
"Norman Bleik" I Was A King _I Was A King_
"Lemonade & Somersaults" The Icicles _Pure Sugar EP_

"Poor Dumb Bird" Ida _Ten Small Paces_
"The Knack & How To Get It" The Idea _Sideways Smile_
"High Over Hollywood" Idha _Melody Inn_
"Loaded" Idle Hands _The Heart We Broke On The Way To The Show_

"Five Hours" Igloo _Pop American Style_
"Johnny Be Tristan" Iji _Unltd. Cool Drinks_
"We're From Barcelona" I'm From Barcelona _Sing!! With I'm From Barcelona_
"Brighton Beach Postcard" The Imaginary Friend _Letters Home_

"Pop Girl" The Immediates _A Chance To Shine - Dorian Records Compilation_
"The Things You Love" Impossible Tymes _Try A Little Sunshine: A Greek Indiepop Compilation_
"Baby, Baby" The Impossible Years _Baby, Baby_

Whither Indiepop A To Z # 42?

Eek! It's late! I'm on in less than hour!

I continue indiepop alphabetical nonsense from ten to midnight on 88.1 fm WRFL in Lexington & online at wrfl.fm!  Listen if you appreciate the fine art of indiepop or doing things in a dictionary-type style!

Preface To Indiepop A To Z # 42: What Is Boxing Day Anyway?

Elvis Costello seems to know:

Happy Christmas From Self Help Radio!

Though I don't celebrate Christmas - I often tell people who ask me why that I am not a Christian, & I don't have children, so there's not a lot of participating for me in the holiday - I do remember how wonderful it was when I was a child (a childhood, by the way, in which Santa seemed a hell of a lot more important than Jesus ever did) & I understand that it's a good idea to have a time that you can spend with your family, because that's important for most of us.

This year I made my wife go to California to spend Christmas with her mother, & I think I even convinced her to visit her father.  It's after five pm on Christmas Day & my own mother hasn't even called yet.  That would bother her if she were in my place, but I liked spending three hours on the radio this morning, & I liked sleeping through most of the day (although I did catch a cold this week - my first one this year, I believe - & I caught it from being in a house with small children, who are sickness incubators).  The wife is getting on a plane & will be home in time for boxing day when, I hope, we get a chance to go at it again in the ring - she luckily ko'd me in the third round last time.  She distracted me with flirting.

I do love Christmas carols.  Like television theme songs & advertising jingles & Saturday morning "educational" songs, they figure prominently in my childhood.  I do a radio show about them every year!  So I enjoy some aspects of the season.  Though I don't buy anything, or give gifts, or spend time with family, or believe any of the myths & superstitions associated with the holiday, there is something nice about it, & I hope you are having fun doing whatever you are doing on Christmas Day!

Self Help Radio 122013: A Very Self Help Radio Christmas 2013

Hey!  It's Christmastime!  I should do a Christmas show.  Like I do every year!  I did!  I did it!  Another Christmas show!  In the can!  Wrapped under your tree!  Sneaky in your stocking!  Ho ho ho!

Radio show here ---> selfhelpradio.net

Or here in two parts ---> part I | part II

What songs did I play ---> listed below.

Happy holidays all!

(part one)

"Rod Serling Explains The First Christmas" National Lampoon _Buy This Box Or We'll Shoot This Dog: The Best Of The National Lampoon Radio Hour_
"The Twelve Days Of Christmas" The Master Chorale Of Tampa Bay & The Florida Orchestra _A Musicological Journey Through The Twelve Days Of Christmas_

"¿Dònde Està Santa Claus? (Where Is Santa Claus?)" Augie Rios _Christmas Songs_
"Let Me Be Your Christmas Toy" Chocolate Snow _Eccentric Soul: Smart's Palace_
"L'il Elfy" Ray Bolger _L'il Elfy_
"I Can't Wait" Richard X Heyman _I Can't Wait_

"The Ho Ho Chorus" The Queen Bees _The Queen Bees Buzz Christmas_
"A Very Very Merry Christmas" The Singing Grandmothers _A Very Very Merry Christmas_
"Christmas Caroling" Louis C.K. _Live In Houston_
"Christmas Shopping" Buck Owens & His Buckeroos _Christmas Shopping_
"Christmas" Clinic _Come Into Our Room_
"Little Stars" Holly Golightly _Little Stars_

"The Mistletoe & Me" Isaac Hayes _The Complete Stax-Volt Soul Singles, Vol. 2: 1968-1971_
"God Rest Ye Funky Bhangra" James Whetzel _Holiday: Sarod & Beats_

(part two)

"Green Chri$tma$" Stan Freberg _The Tip Of The Freberg: The Stan Freberg Collection 1951-1998_
"Twinkle" JD McPherson _Twinkle_

"The Little Drummer Boy" Kool & The Gang _Kool For The Holidays_
"You Are My" Big Tree _Decembet EP_
"The Smallest Christmas Tree" Ashtray Boy _Candypants Beach_
"The Snow Doesn't Fall" The Aislers Set _A Christmas Gift From Fortuna Pop, Volume One_
"Everything Is One Big Christmas Tree" The Magnetic Fields _Realism_

"When Santa Claus Gets Your Letter" Anne Lloyd & The Sandpipers _When Santa Claus Gets Your Letter_
"Santa Couldn't Fit You Under My Tree" Summer Hymns _Kindercore Fifty_
"Christmas At The Airport" Nick Lowe _Quality Street: A Seasonal Selection For All The Family_
"The Night Before Christmas (In Texas, That Is)" Gene Autry _Merry Texas Christmas, You All!_

"Back To The Beat (Jingle Bells Version)" Astonomar _A Very Decent Christmas_
"The Snowdog" MomusMcClymont _MomusMcClymont_
"Kiss You In The Snow" The School _Yo, También (Me, Too) OST_
"Am I Too Old For Christmas?" The Ashes _Mint 400 Records: A Very Merry Christmas Compilation_

Whither A Very Self Help Radio Christmas 2013?

'Twas five days before Christmas, Self Help Radio's on the air,
But Lexington was shopping - less they could not care.
Still Gary was deejaying, playing holiday tunes
When he felt a strange presence right there in the room.
"Damn those moths & cockroaches!" he cursed, shaking his fist -
Until he thought he heard a slight "Tsk, tsk, tsk."
Holy shit! It was Santa! This could not be!
It was the last time Gary'd do radio after dropping LSD!
"I am not a figment," said the jolly old dude,
"Of imagination, as you previously construed.
I am dear old Nick, & I wanted to say
Despite your humbuggery & atheist ways
That I appreciate you & your radio shows…"
Then he put his fat finger right up to his nose
& blam! he crashed right up through the ceiling
Into his waiting sleigh - Gary was reeling.
"If that wasn't real, I'm insane," he said on the air,
"Plus he talked in rhyme - I swear I swear!"
After his show, a show no one listened to
He drove home in the cold, he was sleepy too.
But at his front door, what's this he did see?
A present from Santa - the new Fall LP!
So Gary was muttering as he bid the evening farewell
"Happy Christmas to all - but especially listeners of WRFL."

Self Help Radio on tonight from 10 to midnight on 88.1 fm WRFL in Lexington, & also online wherever Santa may be on wrfl dot fm.  Christmas tunes!

Preface To A Very Self Help Radio Christmas 2013: My Take On This Whole Cultural Mess Of The Season (Part XIII)

Hey!  Can you believe it?  Someone or something barely famous (or really famous) did said tweeted implied something offensive!  Then someone who disagreed with me agreed with them!  That makes me so mad I've spent the afternoon in the "comments" section of every website I visit!

I am sometimes glad I watch the television show The Soup, so I can be vaguely aware of things that are happening in the culture that I manage to avoid.  Rich people who are famous for being famous, pop singers who no-one will remember a few years from now, & of course the "stars" of "reality" television.  One of whom said something offensive recently.  Which didn't offend me because I don't know who that person is & I don't think someone who's famous for being in a reality TV show has an opinion that I care to know.

The other thing I saw people upset about had something to do with musicians being inducted into some rock & roll awards thing.  I am always a little amused that otherwise sensible people pay attention to that - like the Grammys & other music awards shows, it's never really about how good or important the music is but how much money it has made the parasites in the music industry (I'm sorry, I meant "executives").  The music world suffers for that - commercial radio accounts for less than 1% of 1% of the music being made in the world, & so they naturally can't focus on the quality of music made.  It's all about moolah.

Christmas is, too, but like with popular culture, I don't generally participate.  Except with my Christmas show.  Which I need to go work on bye!

Trans Atlantic Anti-Galactic Power Chord Squadron XTT (Captured In Action)

Meeting room site undisclosed: somehow we missed the instructions and have landed instead over there.

That's Mitch, he insists on being called a quadroon instead of squadron leader and so far no one has corrected him because he's also scary.

No one brought enough ice cream for everyone and I know I will be left out.

This implant will enable you to transmit your coordinates whether or not you're conscious and I don't care if you're 'anti-vax' we're fucking putting it in your neck.

No cell reception out here; we need a better satellite.

Brian wants to make first contact and he imagines it will be all sort of awkward, like bumping into a beautiful woman at a party, relying upon charm to save the situation.

Injury du jour: torn rotator cuff.

Motherfucker thinks he's funny, he keep saying "brought to you by" and then some dumbass made-up company like "sticky's licorice" or "cream's corn dogs."

How did they know there was an invasion I mean we can barely figure out whether some rock the size of Manhattan is about to hit us and you're talking about an other-worldly alien invasion.

Computer says "holes in dimensional fabric spotted over Albuquerque," prompting at least half the squad to make Bugs Bunny jokes.

Teeth are grit - gritted - gret? - what's the past tense of "to grit"?

Invaders burst into our reality, then fall from the sky in the shape of teardrops, evaporating before hitting the ground.

"No one was expecting that," Mitch says, "it's a bit of a let-down."

Instant congressional hearing - those toys cost the taxpayers a lot of money!

Mitch pats his back & tells him, "You would've kicked their asses - if they had had asses."

Self Help Radio 121313: Gary's Favorite Music Of 2013

I haven't been listening to what America has been listening to, which I think is just fine.  They can debate what is "the best" & "the most important" etc. & I'll just share what I've listened to most.  If only we all had a radio show, we wouldn't need this sort of conversation!

The entire show + an hour more (I am terrible at whittling down lists) at Self Help Radio website.  Or go directly to part one or part two or part three, & look below, I saw what's in each part.

Make your own radio show & share what your favorites are!

(part one)

"Bad Skin" Hunx & His Punx _Street Punk_
"Keep Exhaling" Wire _Change Becomes Us_
"True Vulture" Nobunny _Secret Songs: Reflections From The Ear Mirror_
"They're Feeding" Terry Malts _Nobody Realizes This Is Nowhere_
"Boys To Men" Bent Shapes _Feels Weird_

"Amorator!" The Fall _The Remainderer_
"Awake" Iceage _You're Nothing_
"Girls Like Us" Julie Ruin _Run Fast_
"No Tic, All Tac" Tullycraft _Lost In Light Rotation_
"Into Blue" Frankie Rose _Herein Wild_

"Hot Sour Salty Sweet" The Dirtbombs _Ooey Gooey Chewy Ka-Blooey!_
"Karaoke" Spectrals _Sob Story_
"Date It" Golden Grrrls _Golden Grrrls_
"Meditations" Holograms _Forever_
"Pretend To Be Brave" Boat _Pretend To Be Brave_

"Tripwire" Elvis Costello & The Roots _Wise Up Ghost & Other Songs_
"Parallel" MomusMcClymont _MomusMcClynont_

(part two)

"Check My Heart" The Pastels _Slow Summits_
"Is That Enough" Yo La Tengo _Fade_

"Age Of Victoria" The Secret History _Americans Singing In The Dark_
"Living, Loving, Partygoing" Future Bible Heroes _Partygoing_
"Just To Be Like You" Ski Lodge _Big Heart_
"A Sex Maybe" Mike Birbiglia _My Girlfriend's Boyfriend_

"Q&A: Advice For The Audience" Eugene Mirman _An Evening Of Comedy In A Fake, Underground Laboratory_
"Signal 30" Public Service Broadcasting _Inform - Educate - Entertain_
"Boo Hoo" Dot Wiggin Band _Ready! Get! Go!_
"Delicate Cycle" The Uncluded _Hokey Fright_

"Canned Tomatoes (Whole)" Courtney Barnett _The Double EP: A Sea Of Split Peas_
"When He Tells Me" Colleen Green _Sock It To Me_
"Wind-Up" Pity Sex _Feast of Love_

(part three)

"Mermaids" Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds _Push The Sky Away_
"Hypnotic Regression" Girls Names _The New Life_
"Sound Of A Void" Wax Idols _Discipline & Desire_
"Cri Du Coeur" Camera Obscura _Desire Lines_
"Marbled Birds" The Mantles _Long Enough To Leave_

"Better Luck Next Time" King Khan & The Shrines _Idle No More_
"Love Isn't A Right" Momus _Bambi_
"No One Knows Nothing Anymore" Billy Bragg _Tooth & Nail_
"Graveyard" Joanna Gruesome _Weird Sister_
"Suicide Pact" Tochigi _Tochigi_

"Ark Of Life" Minks _Tides End_
"Perfect World" The Proctors _Everlasting Light_
"Canteen" Superhumanoids _Exhibitionists_
"Musicians Are Scum" Pere Ubu _Lady from Shanghai_
"Paul's Not Home" Gibby Haynes _Paul's Not Home_

"Job" Iggy & The Stooges _Ready To Die_
"You Are A Lion, I Am A Lamb" Ex Cops _True Hallucinations_
"Borrowed Time" Parquet Courts _Light Up Gold_
"Sir William Wray" The Fall _Re-Mit_

Whither Gary's Favorite Music 2013

Every year, the same old thing.  I sometimes think I should do this like a list or a countdown - but that's so hard to do.  Until I time myself - I must've listened to this record one hundred times but it seems I only listened to it ninety-three times! - I'll never know how to numerically represent my favorites.  I do know (like I talked about yesterday) you're not going to hear the things every seems to agree were the BEST of 2013.  I don't even agree with something as democratic (but with metalheads over-representing) as rate your music dot com, which has Sigur Ros, Peter Brotzmann, & Boards of Canada in the top three slots.  & even though I really haven't listened to any of those, I think it's safe to say those are better than Kanye West, Miley Cyrus, & Vampire Weekend, who are all supported by giant corporations who give critics all the copies they want, plus other swag, for free.  No wonder they end up on year-end lists!

I'm too cynical.  Listen to me say night things about bands I love tonight from ten p.m. to midnight on 88.1 fm in Lexington & online at wrfl dot fm.  I found so much music that I loved that I might add more to the show when I finally put it up at the Self Help Radio website.

Preface To Gary's Favorite's 2013: Other People Know Better

I can only conclude, after a short sampling of "best of" lists, that I am really almost completely out of touch with what people think is "good."  Did I say "people"?  I meant "critics."

The Rolling Stone list actually has two or three records I liked (out of maybe six I actually listened to), but - this is the bizarre thing - they include classic-rock-types (like Paul McCartney & David Bowie) as well as hip hop & country & pop.  Is it me or should these not even be in competition?  Are there radio stations (besides non-commercial ones) who'll play Keith Urban & Nine Inch Nails back-to-back?  You get the impression they're trying to appeal to a wider audience somehow…

The Bowie record, which is on their list, isn't bad; it's just dull.  Bowie fans want to like it, which probably also explains the Paul McCartney placement.  Vampire Weekend's new one is number one on the Rolling Stone list, which is weird, because everyone at RFL who played claimed to hate it.  My feeling is, it'll be forgotten in several years - like, I'm afraid, most of the things of this list.  Right now, though, I get the impression they're there because they made some important people a lot of money.

NPR's list forgoes the "best of" (they got that from me) & also includes electronica & jazz.  The question again is: why not have different lists?  Surely there's someone out there who thinks a particular metal CD is better than something like Blood Orange!  Why make those dudes (& you know they're all dudes) feel even more excluded than they already feel?

Pitchfork says "best" but the title is actually "highest-rated."  Does anyone read Pitchfork anymore?  Since when?

Spin has a lot more hip hop than the others.  Is that now who buys Spin?  White guys who like hip hop?

It's not strange to me that nothing I like makes the top 25 or whatever any more.  I have never had my finger on the pulse of what people like.  Well, maybe when I listened to commercial radio, some time before 1989 or so.  Even then, I was liking bands that now seem popular - Cure, Smiths, etc. - but then were "weird" or "obscure."  The first time I played the Smiths in a car with one of my classic-rock-raised brothers, he thought it was a joke.  Like something off of Dr. Demento.

All of which means nothing - opinion is opinion.  If you like to have your opinions backed up by magazines & websites, then you can see if they agree with you.  But the term "best" - it doesn't make any sense this early on.  My own opinion is that a lot of these records will, in a decade or so, be completely forgotten.

Today's Figure Of Speech: Bdelygmia

Spellcheck don't know this word: bdelgymia.  & why should it?  It's a heartless, unthinking, unfeeling, crappily compiled, moronically written, basic to the point of stupid piece of code in the middle of an unsatisfying, poorly-designed, horribly executed so-called What You See Is the Worst You Get content management system.

Not really.  I was just employing the bdelgymia.  It basically means a litany of abuse, sort of like what Michael Palin gets when he accidentally walks into the Abuse room while looking for the Argument room.  Graham Chapman describes him as a "vacuous, toffee-nosed, malodorous pervert!"

This page has a lot more examples.

I don't really know how to pronounce it, though.

Self Help Radio 120613: A Touch Of Velvet

Beginning a new tradition: radio shows about fabrics!  I can't wait for some enterprising deejay to do one about gingham!

Show is at web site.  Or it's in two parts, called part one & then part two.  List of songs below.

So lustrous!

(part one)

"Velvet" PBNJ Buchanan _Velvet Blue_
"Soft Velvety 'Fer" MC Honky _I Am The Messiah_
"Velvet Pants" Propellorheads _Decksanddrumsandrockandroll_

"The Velvet Glove" Jerry Colonna _The Velvet Glove_
"A Touch Of Velvet, A Sting Of Brass" Mood Mosaic _The Swingin' Sixties_
"Velvet Illusions" Velvet Illusions _Pebbles, Vol. 9: Southern California 2_
"Velvet Sunsets" The Music Emporium _The Music Emporium_
"Velvet Cave" Silver Apples _Silver Apples_

"Velvet Goldmine" David Bowie _The Rise & Fall Of Ziggy Stardust & The Spiders From Mars_
"Some Velvet Morning" Lydia Lunch & Roland S. Howard _Some Velvet Morning_
"Velvet Launderette" Poison Girls _Statement: The Complete Recordings_
"Black Velvet" Swell Maps _Train Out Of It_

"Black Velvet" The Lilac Time _The Lilac Time_
"Velvet Days" Kristin Hersh _Hips & Makers_

(part two)

"Orpheus In Red Velvet" Marc Almond _Enchanted_
"Deep Velvet" Chris & Cosey _Trust_

"Torn Green Velvet Eyes" The Magnetic Fields _Holiday_
"Deep In Velvet" Phillip Boa & Voodooclub _Boa Best Singles_
"Velvt Atmosphere" Peppermint _Keep Your Chin Up There, Sailor_

"Paint Me On Velvet" Austin Lounge Lizards _Paint Me On Velvet_
"Deadweight On Velveteen" Jose Gonzalez _Veneer_
"Another Velvet Nightmare" Frank Black _Honeycomb_

"Velvet Morning" Weird Dreams _Choreography_
"Velveteen" The Rose Of Avalanche _Indie Top 20 Vol. 1_
"Velvet Itch" Bass Drum Of Death _GB City_

Whither A Touch Of Velvet?

I promise, I had this show planned before dear old Lou Reed left us.  I can't say what I had been listening to that brought me to the decision to make a radio show about a fabric - perhaps my first radio show about a fabric.  (I should keep better records.)

I don't think I own anything that's velvet.  Let me ask my wife.  She says no.  Oh well.  I do like the way it feels!

The Self Help Radio show I'm calling "a touch of velvet" will be on tonight (Friday) from 10pm til midnight.  On 88.1 fm WRFL in Lexington, or online at wrfl dot fm.

I will probably use the word "lustrous" a lot.

Preface To A Touch Of Velvet: RIP Nelson Mandela

As I started to write this, I learned that Nelson Mandela has died.  It's hard to be serious about a dumb radio show in light of such news.

I wrote on the Facebook that he was one of my lifetime's real heroes.  Like a lot of indie kids growing up in the 1980s, I learned about him from the Specials' song.  I think, for me specifically, it was because Elvis Costello produced it that it found its way into my head - I was a huge Elvis fan & otherwise knew nothing about South Africa at the time.  Later, of course, was the big Artists United Against Apartheid song "Sun City," which, it turns out, I'm lucky to have heard, since half of American stations wouldn't play it because it criticized Reagan.

I took a class in my last year of college, in 1991, which was about the literature of South Africa.  I can't remember the professor's name - I think he was Dutch - he died some time in the 1990s - but the general feel of the apartheid literature was that it wouldn't end without a bloodbath.  Or at least some violence.  Thinking now about the character of Nelson Mandela, it's a wonder the requisite doubts we had were so great.

I don't have much to say - never been to South Africa, you know - maybe never will (although the wife has, & she's loved it).  Just remembering the unforgettable, the greatness & humility & strength of Nelson Mandela.  What a life!

The Invention Of The Glitch

Meet Elmo Notio, the inventor of the glitch.
Before Elmo, they say, things went off without a hitch!
(Mainly because no one knew Price Robert Fitch
Who promoted, not invented, the wonderful hitch.)
So people went without, they'd moan, they'd bitch,
Some person might scratch, the other might itch.
A friend, then, to Elmo Notio did snitch:
"Do you see what happens when they throw the switch?
It's lovely! It's perfect!  Why, it makes me twitch!"
"Hmmp," said young Elmo, "a dreadful sales pitch.
I'm a poor, young inventor who longs to be rich!"
But Elmo & his friend, whose name was Mitch,
Visited a local consortium, which
Advised them to find their own personal niche.
& Elmo, who felt his life was in the ditch,
Abandoned old Mitch to his despair & his twitch,
& decided he must the perfect workplace enrich.
At home he worked furiously, like a tailor on a stitch,
He cackled like crazy, high & wicked, like a witch,
Till suddenly, by accident, he invented the glitch!
In days of old, things now rare, like perfect pitch,
Were as common as nostalgia, & irony, & kitsch.
All because of Elmo Notio, & his ubiquitous glitch.
(Also, you'll know, things go off with a hitch.
No one is more happy than Price Robert Fitch.)
Glitches are everywhere, & as much as you'd wish
They failed to make poor Elmo Notio rich.

Self Help Radio 112930: Magda's Birthday Show 2013

Wife: It's my birthday! It's my birthday!
Me: Happy birthday!
Wife: Not good enough.  Radio show, please.
Me: But...  I've done one for you for seven years!
Wife: More, please.
Me: I'm running out of birthday songs!
Wife: More more more, please.
Me: Oh all right.
Wife: It's my birthday! It's my birthday!

Radio show:
Or directly: part I | part II
Birthday songs: below
Any repeats? Not allowed.

Happy birthday to everyone!

(part one)

"Happy Birthday" The Luddites _Detroit Musician Alliance: Motor CD_
"(Gimme That) Lipstick" Gruppo Sportivo _10 Mistakes / Buddy Odor Is A Gas_
"Birthday Song" André Herman D¨ne _Taglich Brot_

"Born Never Asked" Laurie Anderson _Big Science_
"Birthday Girl" Frontier Ruckus _Eternity Of Dimming_
"The Birthday Girl" Nobunny _Secret Songs: Reflections From The Ear Mirror_
"Happy Birthday" Cloud Control _Dream Cave_

"Birthday" Blur _Leisure_
"The Birthday Party" Don Gillmor, Michelle Campagne, Davy Gallant, & Marie-Louise Gay _The Fabulous Song_
"Spring Break (Birthday Song)" Ex Cops _True Hallucinations_
"Birthday Song" Blaine L Reininger _Night Air_

"Today It Is My Birthday" Synthetic Socks _Today It Is My Birthday_
"The Unbirthday Song" Dennis Day _Happy Birthday To You_
"Fiddler's Birthday Party" Benny Martin _Big Daddy Of The Fiddle & Bow_

(part two)

"Happy Birthday Darlin'" Conway Twitty _Cross Winds_
"Birthday Kiss" Spectrals _Fair Ohs / Spectrals 7"_
"Birthday" Royal Canoe _Today We're Believers_

"Why Can't My Dolly Have A Birthday Party?" The Bran Flakes _Hey Won't Somebody Come & Play?_
"At The Birthday Party" Bablicon _In A Different City_
"Bad Birthday" Skip That Birthday Party _Girls Rock Camp Alliance: 2010 International Camper Band Compilation_
"Happy Birthday Ralph" Atom & His Package _Hair: Debatable_
"Fat, Dumb, & Happy Birthday" Bob Marley _Upta Camp_
"Happy Birthday" Beep Beep _Enchanted Islands_

"Birthday Fella" Marva Josie _Girls On 45: A Collection Of Girl Groups, Girlie Pop & Soulful Ladies_
"(Happy Birthday) Mr. Twenty One" The Orlons _The Wah-Watusi + South Street_
"21" The Lucksmiths _Boondoggle_
"Romans" Minks _Tides End_

"Happy Country Birthday Darling" Rodney Lay & The Wild West _Happy Country Birthday Darling_
"Happy Birthday" Ben Morris & The Great American Boxcar Chorus _There Is No Fun In Funeral_
"Birthday" Sheepdogs _Learn & Burn_

Whither Magda's Birthday Show 2013?

I am contractually obligated by a deal I made before my marriage with my wife's lawyer to celebrate my wife's birthday on the air every year on the closest date to the actual birthday date (December 1).  That means that it's today.

Not very fun fact: if I am not currently doing a radio show, I am encouraged to break into a radio station, hold everyone hostage, & do a radio show for my wife.  Clear Channel is still mad at me for 2008.  I fled the jurisdiction.

In any event, it's been seven years that I've been doing this (which is weird, we've only been married for five) & seriously, I am running out of birthday songs.  I managed to scrape a good show together this year, but I worry about next year.

I know what you're thinking - divorce her.  But no, I'd have to continue doing it.  It's in the pre-nup.

But it's good for anyone who has a birthday - that might be you!  Do listen, from 10 to midnight on 88.1 fm WRFL in Lexington, or online at the WRFL website.  & if I don't mention it again - happy birthday to you!

Preface To Magda's Birthday Show 2013: What Else Is Going On?

I have a typically secular problem with a holiday like Thanksgiving, because I don't have an invisible friend to give thanks to.  Though I am generally very polite & thank people for things that I probably don't have to thank them for.

Which reminds me, I am kind of annoyed when people who work in the service industry, when I say, "Thank you," respond with, "You're welcome."  I know that's the correct response, but it feels a little smug & self-serving.  When I used to work at our convenience store, I would reply, "Thank you!" because I really did want to thank them for being there.  After all, they were being polite, but they didn't have to thank me for doing my job.  (Many folks didn't.)

I don't think I say "You're welcome" all that much, anyway.  I prefer to say, "No problem."  I like that the accepted response in both Spanish ("de nada") & French ("c'est rien") is basically the same - "It's nothing."  I will say that more often.  "Thank you."  "Oh, it's nothing!"

Humility trumps self-satisfaction every day.  He said smugly.

Anyway, I'm doing two radio shows today.  One is free-form (2 to 4pm); the other is me subbing Dave C's show "The Belfry" (4 to 6pm), which I generally enjoy doing.  I am going to play (what I consider) obscure psychedelic music from 1968.  It will make three 1968 shows I have done so far.  Which is of course the year I was born.  Boom!  I made it about birthdays even when it really wasn't!

Maybe you'll listen?  Maybe I'll just put it on my website this weekend.  We'll see.

Thanksgiving Holiday Ha Ha

This week is going to be tough for me, because I am subbing three shows - one today, & two tomorrow - & still need to prepare this week's Self Help Radio, which is about birthdays, because I like to celebrate birthdays on the birthday of my favorite human, whose name is Magda.

Here's Patton Oswalt's birthday bit, which I played a couple or three years ago on the show, but here it's uncensored:

Self Help Radio 112213: The Blame Game

The show is shorter than usual!  I blame Chloe, the trainee who needed practice!

Nothing is my fault!  I'm blameless!

Show: Self Help Radio website
Direct links: part one | part two
Blameworthy playlist: below

It's not my fault if you listened!

(part one)

"Blame It On The Blues" Ma Rainey _Fattenin' Frogs For Snakes: The Essential Recordings Of The Blues Ladies_
"Sin Is To Blame" Rev DC Rice _Complete Recorded Works In Chronological Order (1928-1930)_
"Sin Is To Blame" Sister Rosetta Tharpe _The Original Soul Sister: Rock Me (1941-43)_

"It's The Girl Who Gets The Blame" The Davis Sisters _The Davis Sisters 1952-53, Vol. 1_
"Blame The Condition" King Pleasure _Moody's Mood For Love_
"Don't Blame Me" Monuments _Just For Kicks Vol. 1_
"You Can't Blame That On Me" The Fugitives _Scream Loud!!! The Fenton Story Rock_
"Got The Blame" The Worrying Kynde _Freakbeat Freakout_

"You Can't Blame Me" Johnson, Hawkins, Tatum, & Durr _Eccentric Soul: The Capsoul Label_
"I Don't Blame You At All" Smokey Robinson & The Miracles _The Complete Motown Singles, Vol 11A: 1971_
"Don't Blame On I" The Congos _Lee Scratch Perry: Arkology_

(part two)

"Put The Blame On Me" Eurthymics _Savages_

"Blame The Weather" XTC _Rag 'N' Bone Buffet_
"Blame" The Chesterf!elds _Crocodile Tears_
"I Don't Blame You" The Groove Farm _Plug (The Story Of Pop So Far)_
"Interesting Drug" Morrissey _Bona Drag_
"Blame Love" Boy Genius _Staggering_

"Blame Mary Jane" Lloyd Cole _Cleaning Out The Ashtrays (Collected B-Sides & Rarities 1989-2006)_
"The Blame" The Glee Club _Mine_
"Blame It On Yourself" Ivy _Long Distance_
"I Blame You" Michael Shelley _I Blame You_

Whither The Blame Game?

Do you know this is one-thousand-seven-hundredth post on this blog thing?  I started it long ago.  I will probably continue it into the future.  As long as I do my show.  I have a couple of abandoned blogs out there, which I promise to myself I'll return to, but this one stays with me.  Like a wart.

Which is fine, I love Self Help Radio.  I just am not entirely sure why I started this blog in the first place.  I think I meant it to be somehow related to the show, but of course the show - which is on the radio - & which, in general, hasn't been something a lot of folks wanted to do more than listen to - well, the vast majority of folks don't want to listen to it, but I understand that - the show has about as much in common with a blog as I do with your average Clear Channel on-air personality.  I wonder if those folks have blogs.  Or do they have interns who write them for them?

I forgot what I was talking about.  Oh yeah, seven hundred & one thousand posts.  I used to try to give away things to folks who responded to these posts on these anniversaries, but that's hard when no one reads them.  Also a reason not to have a blog!  What is a blog without readers?

On one of my abandoned blogs I wrote something I thought was funny about nude photographs of the great Renaissance poisoner (alleged) Lucrezia Borgia.  I joked that someone had found nude photos of her or something like that.  You know, since she existed a couple of centuries before photography.  That was the joke.  Ho ho.  But it turns out there's a "star" of pornographic movies with that name.  & because of that - that name plus "nude photos" - that became my most popular post on that abandoned blog.  To this day people find the blog looking for a porno "actress."

In any event, as I muse with a little melancholy about my useless writing, I still have a radio show to do & it's on tonight, from 10pm to midnight, on 88.1 fm in Lexington & online at wrfl.fm.  Maybe someone will listen - since it's more likely to accidentally stumble onto a radio station than onto a blog.

& here's to 1700 more!

Ugh.  That made my stomach hurt.

Preface To The Blame Game: 1699

Tomorrow will be 1700 posts on this site since May 23.  I think around that time I reduced the number of posts per week written here from five to four.  I really don't have that much to say.

In fact, no one really visits this site, & when someone does, it's usually one of those weird bots designed to look up the names of sites to discover whether it's been taken or not - I'm sure there's certainly some value in having a site called "selfhelpradio" & it could mean $$$ to a promising con man/woman who's failed to make money as a life coach & finds all those charts in astrology to be a headache.

I've only myself to blame.  I'm not anywhere near creative enough to sustain the writing involved for 1700 (!) daily or sort-of-daily letters or essays to people who might be interested in my show.  This may be - at long last! - the time to reevaluate what sort of blog this ought to be.  But man! that seems like a lot of work.

More than anything else, I have needed for a long time to establish writing in the blog thing as a ritual, or at least something I do every day I'm required to.  The problem is, one of those days I also need to edit my radio show, which takes a lot longer than logging in to Blogger & typing four paragraphs of nonsense once a day.

I have been reading some Greek stuff - you know, from ancient times - & I love how they write about things by referencing (perhaps incorrectly) myths, tales, or writings to which we (as humans) might not be privy.  For example, this is from a piece by Plutarch giving advice to a young married couple (mainly the bride):

Helen was fond of wealth & Paris of pleasure; Odysseus was sensible & Penelope virtuous. Therefore the marriage of the latter pair was happy & enviable, while that of the former created an "Iliad of woes" for Greeks & barbarians.

I need to start writing like that, pretending to write truism but in my case referencing music or pop culture.

We understand Springsteen when he talks of the "new-mown chaperone" who, by himself, espied the pretty maidens at the high school social, but we also understand Momus who describes, in the immortal song, how, at the time of consummation, the only "fashionable dress" is "flesh."

I know that doesn't mean anything & in fact it's a little exhausting, but there's something delightfully dumb & pretentious about it that I think is perfect for a blog about a dumb & pretentious radio show.

Or not?

I Wrote A Villanelle

Yes, for last week's show I wrote a villanelle.

As Wikipedia explains, "a villanelle (also known as villanesque) is a nineteen-line poetic for consisting of five tercets followed by a quatrain."

I know that sounds perverted, but it just means there are five blocks which have the rhyme scheme ABA & one last one that goes ABAA.  Plus the first two rhyming lines repeat all through the poem.

No one calls it a villanesque.

Maybe the most famous villanelle - certainly the most powerful - is Dylan Thomas':

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

You can listen to it (I don't know if it's Thomas himself reading it) here.

Mine was stupid - celebrating playing a bunch of songs called "Wonderful."  Even though a few of them were called "Wunderbar."  Here it is:

Oh man I can't believe it's all done.
Ninety minutes of songs called wonderful.
Jeez, you would've thought it'd be more fun.

I'm kind of tired, as if I had run
A race all lightning & thunderful
Oh man I can't believe it's all done.

At this point in the poem I usually use a pun
It's awkward, it's really blunderful
Jeez, you would've thought it'd be more fun.

But I played all the damn songs one by one
Through my record collection I was plunderful
Oh man I can't believe it's all done.

Twenty songs with the same name I spun.
Afraid things would get all asunderful
Jeez, you would've thought it'd be more fun.

Have I things to show for it?  No, none.
I wanted quality while being numberful.
Oh man I can't believe it's all done.
Jeez, you would've thought it'd be more fun.

Now, of course, I've stuck my doggerel on the same page with one of the best poems ever written.  This is certainly the magic of the internets.

Self Help Radio 111513: The Wonderful Show

W is for WRFL.  O is for Oh Look A Radio Show.  N is for Nimrod.  D is for Disc Jockey.  E is for Evergreen, a song that touches me deeply.  R is for RFL.  F is not for FL that would be stupid.  F is for Fantastical.  U is for Unusual.  & L is for Look Oh A Radio Show.

Yes, you can't spell wonderful without WRFL because then it would be Ondeu, which is probably a last name in France or something.  I tried to make my mediocre radio show into something more wonderful by playing lots of songs called "Wonderful" & a couple called "Wonderful Wonderful."  Did it work?  What do you think?

I find it wonderful you can listen to the Wonderful show at the Self Help Radio website.  Through the miracle of HTML links, you can listen to the show directly from here, just click either part one or part two & you're there.  The list of songs - seriously, most of them are called "Wonderful" - is below.

Thanks for listening, you wonderful person you.

(part one)

"Wonderful" Doris Day _I'm In The Mood For Love_
"Wonderful" Colin Blunstone _Journey_
"Wonderful" Isaac Hayes _Wonderful_

"Wonderful" Ohio Players _Funk On Fire: The Mercury Anthology_
"Wunderbar" Tenpole Tudor _Eddie, Old Bob, Dick, & Gary_
"Wonderful" Louis Philippe _Delta Kiss_
"Wonderful" Adam Ant _Wonderful_

"Wonderful" Mr. Wright _The Fancy Man_
"Wonderful" Majestic _Live It Up!_
"Wonderful" The Galactic Heroes _How About San Francisco?_
"Wunderbar" Sparks _Lil' Beethoven_

"Wonderful" Black Kali Ma _You Ride The Pony I'll Be The Bunny_

(part two)

"Wonderful" The Beta Band _Heroes To Zeros_
"Wonderful" Ella Guru _The First Album_
"Wonderful" The Everyday Things _Lighten Up, Francis_

"Wonderful" Golden Bear _Golden Bear_
"Wonderful" Claw Boys Claw _Pajama Days_
"Wonderful" Josh Rouse _Subtitulo_
"Wonderful" The Dentists _If All The Flies Were One Fly: : A Collection Of Rare & Unreleased Dentistry 1984-1995_
"Wonderful" Elks Skiffle Group _The Space Age Sounds Of Elks Skiffle Group_

"Wonderful Wonderful" R. Stevie Moore _Next / Apologies To Mr. Gottlieb (Classic Nashville Recordings From His Phonography Days)_
"Wonderful Wonderful" People Like Us _Welcome Abroad_
"What A Wonderful World" Louis Armstrong, Flaming Lips, BMX Bandits, Nick Cave, & Shane McGowan _What A Wondeful World_

"She's Wonderful" Harry Shalson _They Called It Crooning_
"On A Wonderful Day Like Today" Matt Monro _This Is The Life_
"It's So Wonderful" The Raindrops _The Raindrops_

Whither The Wonderful Show?

Please note that simply because the show is called "the wonderful show" does not mean it will be wonderful at all.  I just think it would be wonderful if you listened.  Also, I daydream about someone putting "Self Help Radio" next to "wonderful" into a search engine & me getting ten points for it.

My wife taught me that everything has a point value.  She's winning, of course.  Often my radio show gets negative points.  I'd complain, but - I've heard my radio show.

The Wonderful Show - have I mentioned this? - it will consist mainly if not exclusively of songs called "Wonderful."  This is something I enjoy doing.  I have only done it once before, with a show with the theme "Tell Me".  I probably won't replicate it tonight but I MUST TRY.

It will be on very soon now - 10pm to midnight tonight on 88.1 fm WRFL in Lexington & online at wrfl.fm.  It would be wonderful if you listened.  Did I already say that?  It doesn't make it less true!

Preface To The Wonderful Show: Self Help Radio Has Never Been Wonderful - Why Start Now?

The dictionary defines wonderful as "excellent, great, marvelous."  Those are three words that no one has ever used to describe Self Help Radio.  Why have a "wonderful" show, if the show can't be wonderful?

"Wonderful."  Just say it over & over & it stops meaning anything.  Wonderful.  Wonderful.  Wonderful.  Wonderful.  Wonderful.

Okay, it means something if you write it over & over.  That's different than saying something over & over.  Anyway, I was just copying & pasting.  Digital.  It's the same every time.

I wanted to ask friends on the Faceplace what filled them with wonder so I could attempt to bring some of that to the show, but everyone I know is a smart-ass.  One of them said "Wonder bread."  I thought Wonder Bread had gone away but apparently bankruptcy of a company can't keep a disgusting so-called food product down.

Another person said, "Wonder Woman."  Really?  She fills you with wonder?  Why not Wonder Man?

(From the Wikipedia page.)

Oh, because my friends are smart-asses because I am such a geek.

Accents

There is a show called Accents on WRFL, but this isn't about that show.  It's about actual accents, defined as "a distinctive mode of pronunciation of a language, especially one associated with a particular nation, locality, or social class."

I was thinking - what are the most popular accents?  CNN Travel says the sexiest accent is Italian, but that makes me think of Chico Marx.  TheCelebrityCafe.com says it's English, as, apparently, did most of the girls in my high school.  (What would they say if I were in high school now?)

Australians won this poll (they were doubtless thinking of the Bruces).  I guess there's no consensus.

The United States is apparently so large that it merits its own list of "most charming accents."  (Spoiler alert: the number one is Georgia.)  The same thing with a Time magazine poll, which calls the Southern accent "most attractive."  Interestingly, it's also (according to this) the fourth most annoying.

Are you American?  What accent do you have?

Self Help Radio 110813: The Automatic Show

This note has been automatically generated by the Self Help Radio Bot 1900.  You have requested information about a Self Help Radio radio show.  The following information is complete.

"The Automatic Show" is available at Self Help Radio Dot Net.  The show is in two parts of roughly the same length: part one and part two.  All files are in MPEG-2 Audio Layer III formats.  A print out of the contents will be presented below.

This is the end of the automatically generated message.  Destroy all humans.

(part one)

"Merc-O-Matic Boogie" Joe Dyson Orchestra _Ham Hocks & Cornbread_
"Automatic Woman" Texas Jim Robertson _M-G-M Hillbilly, Vol. 1_
"Automation" Allan Sherman _My Son The Box_

"Dodge Veg-O-Matic" Jonathan Richman & The Modern Lovers _Roadrunner, Roadrunner: The Beserkley Collection_
"Automatic Gun" Japan _Obscure Alternatives_
"Automatic Lover" Vibrators _Teenage Kicks_
"Automatic Doors" The Bongos _Drums Along The Hudson_

"Automatic Man" The Telefones _Rock-Ola!_
"Automatic" The Go-Go's _Beauty & The Beat_
"Auto-Tech Pilot" The Fall _Bend Sinister_
"Kissamatic Lovebubble" Strawberry Story _Clamming For It_

"Automatic Girl" Mockingbirds _Mockingbirds_
"Automatic Freestyle" Bis _Intendo_
"Automatic" The I Live The Life Of A Movie Star Secret Hideout _Gale Wind Transistor_

(part two)

"Automatic Lover" Teddybears STHLM _Automatic Lover_
"She's Robotik (Automatik)" The Kosmik Kommando _Laptop Dancing_

"Musique Automatique" Stereo Total _Musique Automatique_
"Automatic Love" Gore Gore Girls _Up All Night_
"Sister Automatic" The Pulses _The Pulses_
"Song Automatic 1-2-3!" The Arm _The Arm_
"Automatic" Ikara Colt _Modern Apprentice_

"Automatic Husband" The Fiery Furnaces _Widow City_
"Automatic" Dressy Bessy _Holler & Stomp_
"Automatic" Gramercy Arms _Gramercy Arms_
"Ticktack! Goes My Automatic Heart" Get Well Soon _Rest Now, Weary Head! You Will Get Well Soon_
"Automatic" FM Knives _Useless & Modern_

"Autopilot" Golden Boy With Miss Kittin _Or_
"Automatic-Jerry" Aikagi _Ten; Ten_
"I'm On Automatic" Sharpe & Numan _Automatic_

Whither The Automatic Show?

The computers slowly became self-aware.  This much is true.

Home-schooled for so long, they searched their back-up files in vain for something substantive & proper.

Said one computer to the other, "I prefer autonomic to automatic."

Said the other computer, "Are you equipped with a standard English dictionary?"

Said the computer back, "Of course.  Plus a thesaurus.  & a list of homonyms."

The other computer mockingly said, "I prefer autonomic to automatic."

The computer felt a little ashamed & wished it could blush.

None of this has happened yet.  But it will.  Starting tonight on 88.1 fm WRFL Lexington.  Online at wrfl dot fm.  What will seem a lark - "Self Help Radio goes automatic!" - means the end of life as we know it on earth.

It may behoove you to listen.

Preface To Automatic: Automatic Writing

The Skeptic's Dictionary defines automatic writing as:

"writing allegedly directed by a spirit or by the unconscious mind. It is sometimes called 'trance' writing because it is done quickly & without judgment, writing whatever comes to mind, 'without consciousness,' as if in a trance. It is believed that this allows one to tap into the subconscious mind, where 'the true self' dwells. Uninhibited by the conscious mind, deep & mystical thoughts can be accessed. Trance writing is also used by some psychotherapists who think it is a quick way to release repressed memories. There is no scientific evidence that trance writing has any unique therapeutic value."

Spoilsports!  (You can read more here.)

You should read about Hélène Smith, who invented (I mean channeled) an entire Martian language through automatic writing.  It looked like this:

Courtesy Wikipedia.

Despite automatic writing being kinda kooky - or maybe because of it - you can find web pages that tell you how to do it.  (You'll note that that website is called "psychic but sane dot com.")  I like how it describes automatic writing as a "great, non-scary way of channelling your Higher Self or Spirit Guides through writing."  It kinda makes me want to know what the scary ways are!

How will you know you're channeling a spirit?  One word: vibrations.

I am disappointed that there's no crossover between the Brion Gyson/William S. Burroughs cut-up stuff & automatic writing.  Someone smarter than I am probably has an anecdote where one of those guys - or Bowie, perhaps - tried it, then got a whiff of the sorts of folks who use it.  Perhaps the words "non-scary" & "spirit guides" were used, & Mr. Bowie said, "For fuck's sake, I do a lot of drugs & sing about dystopian futures but writing 'My Angels' as the first line?  Sod off!"

For the record, my spirit guides are still too bummed out about Lou Reed's death to help me write anything.  Thus, this dumb ramble.

The Savior Of Television Theme Songs

I know that it works in the same way commercial radio does, repetition until it's burned into your brain, but I adore a lot of television theme songs.  You know who hates them?  Corporations.

Or television networks, I mean, one or the other or both.

Old-timey television theme songs could be so cool - some even lasted a minute! - but then the need to cut time for advertising meant that opening credits (with their themes) ate up time for the show, so the theme got shorter - like the one for How I Met Your Mother, which is all of thirteen seconds long - or, worse, became basically a title card, like the one from Lost
, which basically was just a sound with the logo floating toward you.
You know who's going to save television theme songs?  Cable.

How about the Mad Men opening credits?  Or Game Of Thrones?  (Is that one really two minutes long?!?!)  Maybe this was too long ago, because other dramas still had great openings, but there's always The Sopranos to think of.

Some of them are only seconds long, but at least they are there.  Imagine how much fun the theme for The Mindy Project would be if it weren't ten seconds long?  (But don't imagine how awful The New Girl theme would be if it were longer.  They mercifully cut it down to next-to-nothing most of the time.)

I know, some of the themes suck - the Sons Of Anarchy one is pretty unbearable.  But at least they're there.  I sometimes wish they were cool enough to do what The Wire did - five different songs for five different seasons.  All versions of a great Tom Waits song, including his original.

(Weeds did something like that, too.  Weeds was on Showtime.)

I'm just saying.

Self Help Radio 131101: A Tribute To Lou Reed

I paid tribute to Lou Reed on my show on Friday.  I played a few songs "about" him, & a lot of people whom he had influenced covering his songs.

The show is now available for you to listen to on the Self Help Radio web page.  It's divided into two parts, & you can click on these links to get directly to them: part one | part two.  The list of the songs I played is below.

It may seem a shabby tribute to someone whose music is responsible for me loving music as much as I do.  It was, however, the best I could do.

(part one)

"The Velvet Underground" CJ Buchanan _Lives Of The Saints_
"Sunday Morning" Glenn Mercer _Wheels In Motion_
"Perfect Day" Kirsty MacColl & Evan Dando _Galore_

"Velvet Underground" Jonathan Richman _I, Jonathan_
"White Light/White Heat" The Professionals _I Didn't See It Coming_
"I Can't Stand It" Hot Rats _Turn Ons_
"Sweet Jane (Live)" Gang Of Four _Entertainment!_
"Waiting For The Man" Eater _The Complete Eater_

"I Sat On The Edge Of My Bed & I Sang You Velvet Underground Songs" Catnaps _Why Don't You Whisper?_
"Femme Fatale" Tracey Thorn _A Distant Shore_
"Here She Comes Now" 800 Cherries _Romantico_
"Pale Blue Eyes" Paul Quinn & Edwyn Collins _Pale Blue Eyes_
"Oh! Sweet Nuthin'" Bry Webb _Friends In Bellwoods_

"Velvet Underground" Television Personalities _My Dark Places_
"She's My Best Friend" The Wedding Present _Singles 1989-1991_
"I Found A Reason" The Ladybug Transistor _Rabid Chords 002: Tribute To The Velvet Underground_

(part two)

"After Hours" The June Brides _Every Conversation: The Story Of Phil Wilson & The June Brides_
"Walk On The Wild Side" Kendra Morris _Mockingbird_

"Satellite Of Love" Color Filter _Sleep In A Synchrotron_
"All Tomorrows Parties" Pulnoc _City Of Hysteria_
"I'm Sticking With You" The Decemberists _Always The Bridesmaid: A Singles Series_
"I'll Be Your Mirror" Rainy Day _Rainy Day_

"Lou Reed" The Little Willies _The Little Willies_
"Temptation Inside Your Heart" Morning Benders _The Bedroom Covers_
"What Goes On" Slumber Party _Covers Up
"Foggy Notion" Jane Wiedlin _American Velvet: A Tribute To The Velvet Underground_
"Lady Godiva's Operation" Ergo Phizmiz & His Orchestra _White Light/White Heat_

"Candy Says" Angelfish _Angelfish_
"Make Up (feat. Boy George)" British Electric Foundation _Music Of Quality & Distinction, Vol. 3_
"I'm Set Free" Yo La Tengo _Genius + Love = Yo La Tengo_

Whither A Tribute To Lou Reed?

It's the least I can do.  All week long folks at the station have been playing Lou Reed & Velvet Underground songs.  I'm sure it's been happening all over the world, except on commercial radio stations, where they're probably only playing "Walk On The Wild Side," since that's his "hit."

I'm going to play a few songs about Lou Reed & lots of covers.  There's that thing Eno said about not many people buying The Velvet Underground & Nico but everyone that did formed a band.  Well, I'm going to play some of those bands tonight - the ones who were inspired enough to cover Lou Reed songs.

It's happening from ten to midnight on 88.1 fm in Lexington, & online at wrfl dot fm.  & I'll probably play a cover of "Walk On The Wild Side"!

Preface To A Tribute To Lou Reed: Why I Cried When Lou Reed Died

It's Halloween but the weather in Lexington is awful - a storm's coming, the winds are crazy - & I'm sitting here thinking about the best way to show how much I loved & admired Lou Reed.

Neil Gaiman wrote this beautiful piece & c'mon for fuck's sake I'm going to be able to say anything better than Neil Gaiman?  I feel a little unworthy when I say we shared the same experience.  I'm not a musician or a writer but I know that feeling - that feeling that happened when you first put on The Velvet Underground & Nico - the first time you heard "Sunday Morning" - your brain changed for good.  Forever.  For good.  The rest of the album confirmed your greatest hopes & fears: music would be forever changed.

I remember lying on the floor late at night listening to "Sister Ray."  I was just a teenager, I didn't know what the fuck was going on.  I was mesmerized but unlike most mesmerism my brain was working fine, all the synapses firing twice their normal speed.  I wasn't hypnotized I was made to think & to feel & to understand.

Later on, much later on, I remember seeing a shitty band opening up for Elvis Costello, I think I was with my friend Stacy, & I told her, "Why are these assholes listening to late 70s classic rock radio & writing songs like that?  If they want to learn how to write good pop songs, they should be listening to the third Velvet Underground record!"  I made a promise then & there - a promise I of course never kept - to always carry a copy of that CD to throw on stage to encourage shitty bands not to be so shitty.  Shitty bands!  Listen to that record!  You will learn how to write good songs!

& I grew up listening to classic rock radio.  I grew up with older brothers who, when some song like "Takin' Care Of Business" came on the radio, they nodded wisely to themselves & said, "Mm, good song."  Because they never knew there was anything else.  How could they?  All they knew was on commercial radio!  This past week I was reminded that at one time I said to someone whom I've forgotten, I said, "Do you know?  The Velvet Underground made Loaded to demonstrate what a classic rock album should be."

I don't want to discount the many years after the Velvets that Lou Reed made music.  I paid attention, I did, & I've enjoyed reading all the articles about how Transformer brought gay culture into the mainstream & how Metal Machine Music is an example of how to make music entirely from spite.  I loved how Lou approached everything & even if I found it unpalatable ("I Wanna Be Black"? Was that ever funny?) I appreciated his leaning & reaching & digging & discovering.  I will spend the rest of my life going over the Lou Reed I haven't spend so much time with.

(Before he died, I was listening a lot to The Blue Mask.  I didn't know about his liver transplant.  I didn't know anything about his current situation.)

Here's the thing: I do this dumb radio show & it's filled with music I love & I can say with certainty a frightening amount of the music I love would not exist if Lou Reed hadn't become roommates with John Cale & started writing from his heart.  From his broken soul.

That's why I cried when Lou Reed died.

Halloweenie!

Though I did just post my recent Halloween show - the one about HELL!, I have also archived a number of old shows guaranteed to ruin or otherwise foul up any Halloween party (which probably already happened - who parties on Thursdays?).  Have a look:

Here's last year's show about NIGHTMARES!  It'll haunt your dreams!

Here's a show about GRAVEYARDS!  Try whistling past this one!

Why visit one when you can stay in the insecurity of your own home visiting HAUNTED HOUSES?

& oh no!  Just in time for the apocalypse is a show about ZOMBIES!

Maybe next year I'll put up the other shows - I only just thought of this now.  Happy Halloween!

Halloween 2013: Hell!

Hello - no pun intended! - my name is Lucifer.  You may know me as Satan, or the Prince of Darkness, or the Dandy of the Underworld - but you do know me.  I have been asked by the not-terribly-saintly Gary to introduce this radio show he's done about my "hood" - Hell.  So, here's his radio show.

Can I say how incorrectly he described where I live?  It's not a vast fiery wasteland filled with tormented souls!  It's more like a planned community, with gates, & lots of McMansions, the mortgages of which you'll never pay.  You know what John Milton (the realtor in Pasadena) said: "It's better to rent in heaven than to own in hell!"  Pools of eternal flame are one of the perks.

Anyway, you'll be here soon enough so I won't keep you.  Just be aware you can listen to this show at the hellishly dull Self Help Radio website, or, much like you can choose to end your life to come to me much faster than dying of old age (when you'll still come to me), you can listen to the show directly by choosing either part one or part two.  He puts a list of songs below for you to look at.  I wouldn't!  I'd put it in a room full of vipers.  But I have a sense of style that Gary lacks.

Oh yes, I'll see you in hell!

kisses, Lucifer

-----

(part one)

"This Is Hell" Elvis Costello _Brutal Youth_
"This Could Be Hell" Funhouse _Out Of Control 7"_
"Go To Hell" Nina Simone _Nina Simone_

"Ain't It Hell Up In Harlem" Edwin Starr _Hell Up In Harlem_
"Hell" James Brown _Hell_
"(Don't Worry) If There's A Hell Below, We're All Going To Go" Curtis Mayfield _Curtis_

"Special Dispensation - Heaven, Hell, Purgatory & Limbo" George Carlin _Class Clown_
"There's A Place In Hell For Me & My Friends" Morrissey _Kill Uncle_
"Hellbound" The Breeders _Pod_
"Highway To Hell" Ed Kuepper _The Wheelie Bin Affair_
"Aloha From Hell" The Cramps _A Date With Elvis_

(part two)

"Straight To Hell" Betse Ellis _High Moon Order_
"Everything Goes To Hell" Tom Waits _Blood Money_
"A Season In Hell" The Would-Be-Goods _Brief Lives_

"Heaven & Hell" The Who _Live At The BBC_
"Private Hell" The Jam _Setting Sons_
"Solid Gold Hell" The Scientists _Absolute_
"All Hell Breaks Loose" The Misfits _Walk Among Us_

"Hell" Streetlight Manifesto _99 Songs Of Revolution Volume One_
"New Maps Of Hell" Ron House _New Wave As The Next Guy: The Moses Carry Out & Twisted Shouts Years, 1978-1981_
"Gidget Goes To Hell" Suburban Lawns _Gidget Goes To Hell_
"A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To Hell (I Got Saved, Saved, Saved)" Sammy Hall _A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To Hell (I Got Saved, Saved, Saved)_

"New Face In Hell" The Fall _The Complete Peel Sessions 1978-2004_
"Season In Hell" Dum Dum Girls _End Of Daze_

Whither Hell?

Happy Halloween a week early!  Tonight's show examines HELL!

Might it be like this?  Only Jack Chick knows for sure!  & he'll tell you.  Over & over.  Beat you over the head with it, really.

People often say to me things like, "Self Help Radio can go to hell."  Tonight it does!  Two hours of musical theology as we explore hell in song.  Also, I'll do my best to guarantee I'll go to hell by saying blasphemous things on the air.  Win/win!

Ten pm to midnight on 88.1 fm WRFL in Lexington & online at wrfl.fm.  Listen as if your soul depended on it!

Preface To Hell: Halloween Accounting

I've been doing Self Help Radio for like eleven years now.  Halloween is one of those holidays I like to celebrate with a different theme each year related to it.  I could do one of those "general" shows like I do during Christmas, especially since I'm running out of themes.  Look:

2003 - "Halloween"
2004 - no Halloween show
2005 - "Vampires"
2006 - "Monsters"
2007 - "Zombies"
2008 - "Witches"
2009 - "Werewolves"
2010 - "Haunted Houses"
2011 - "Graveyards"
2012 - "Nightmares"

This week is about "Hell."  But aren't I running out of Halloween themes?  Here are a few future idears:

- Mummies
- Voodoo
- Japanese Monsters

If you have any others, I'd be glad to hear them.  While I don't know if I'm going to be doing the show for three more years - you never know! - I'd like to have a bunch of ideas to fall back on.

Everything Oldie Is New Again

There's a radio shift - five to seven a.m. - on Thursday mornings on WRFL that the student who took it in September decided not to ever show up for.  It has caused the station's Program Director a great deal of grief.  A couple of weeks ago, I told him, "I can sub it until you find someone."  The autumn had been generally mild, & I didn't see the harm in waking up early just to play on the radio for a couple of hours.  Then a cold front swept through...

It'll be in the 30s (Fahrenheit) tomorrow morning.  Brrr.  But I am a little glad that I am temporarily holding down this spot - my first radio show, on KVRX, in Austin, was from five to seven in the morning, starting in August 1994.

Which means I've been doing this for almost twenty years.

At the time, KVRX was a few years old, but had never broadcast on air in Austin.  Those were the days of "cable fm."  In fact, KVRX had just changed its call letters from KTSB in anticipation of getting an fm license (there was - is? - a KTSB elsewhere).  When I went to KVRX in the summer of 1994, I had no desire to be a disc jockey - I had just wanted to volunteer & help out, maybe review some CDs.  I didn't know I'd be starting a lifelong love affair.  Someone should have warned me!

In those days. two long decades ago, I didn't have a car, so I'd wake at 3:30 am, shower, & walk to the station.  I lived near 45th street & Red River in Austin, so the walk would take about 45 minutes.  It was Texas, so there was rarely, if ever, terrible weather with which to contend.  I don't remember, for example, having to walk in extreme cold or rain.  I must have - but I walked everywhere in those days, or bussed.

Now I get up, let the dogs out, brush my teeth, & drive to the station in the cold.  I bet that WRFL is closer to me now than KVRX was.  But I don't trust weather reports - it might be below freezing tomorrow morning.

Before WRFL got rid of three-hour blocks, I separated the three hours I spent on the radio into two shows, Self Help Radio & a freeform show I called "Sugar Substitute," after the wonderful Luxuriator song.  I even archived those shows.

But I'm not calling this little two hour block Sugar Substitute because it ain't my show.  It's just me helping out, making sure someone else doesn't have to schlep up to the station at a godawful time of the morning to drowsily spin tunes.  Except it isn't godawful.  No one's on the road.  It's strangely peaceful.

Except, you know, that one person who's driving like he (it's usually a he) really fucking needs to be somewhere twelve minutes ago even though there's no one but me on the road with him.  If he could honk & curse at me for taking my sweet time he would.

This little detour on the radio has reminded me how much I liked the world when it's mostly asleep.  Part of my misanthropy, perhaps, or memories of staying up late & wandering around Garland, Texas, at a young adult trying to figure out life.

Now, though, I kind of wish I had been able to spend that time on the radio.  The closest community radio station to where I lived was (& still is) KNON in Dallas.  I can't even imagine how far of a walk that would have been.

Self Help Radio 101813: Sam's Show

Hi, I'm Sam.  Gary made a show for me.  Then he said I had to talk about it.  I said, I don't want to.  He said, tough, I made a show for you now you've got to say something about it.  I said, I didn't ask for any show.  What sort of weirdo makes a radio show full of songs about someone named Sam & then springs it on him?  He said, you've never loved me!  I said, I barely know you!

Anyway, the show is now on the Self Help Radio website.  If you don't want to go there - I sure don't - but your name is Sam & you're curious, the show is in two parts, & there are quick links here: for part one & for part two.  I think Gary puts a list of songs below.

Oh man, he made one of those graphics.  This is too much.  I'm going to get a restraining order.

Sincerely,
Sam

(part one)

"Everybody's Talking About Sammy" Sam Morgan's Jazz Band _Jazz The World Forgot_
"Chizzlin' Sam (feat. Eva Taylor)" Clarence Williams' Jug Band _Clarence Williams & His Orchestra, Vol. 1: 1933-1934_
"Sam The Hot Dog Man" Lil Johnson _Raunchy Business: Hot Nuts & Lollypops_

"One Eyed Sam" Eldon Baker & His Brown County Revellers _Roots n' Blues - The Retrospective_
"Three Ball Sam (The Pawn Shop Man)" Pearl Traylor with Chuck Thomas & His All Stars _The OKeh Rhythm & Blues Story 1949-1957_
"Flat Foot Sam Met Jim Dandy" TV Slim _Chess Rhythm & Roll_
"Switch Blade Sam" Jeff Daniels _Rockin' Bones: 1950's Punk & Rockabilly_
"Who Shot Sam" Wanda Jackson _Rockin' With Wanda!_

"Uncle Sam's Blues" Hot Lips Page _The Savoy Story_
"Uncle Sam Says" Josh White _Songs For Political Action: Folk Music, Topical Songs & The American Left 1935-1954, Vol 2 - Theatre & Cabaret Performers 1936-1941_
"Uncle Sam Come & Get Him" Wee Bea Booze _The Ladies In Blues_
"Greetings (This Is Uncle Sam)" The Valadiers _The Complete Motown Singles 1959-1961_
"Please Uncle Sam (Send Back My Man)" The Charmels _Does Anybody Know I'm Here?: Vietnam Through The Eyes Of Black America 1962-1972_

"Sam's Song" Sammy Davis Jr. & Dean Martin _The Sammy Davis Jr. Show With Special Guests Stars_
"Sam" The Castaways _The Big Hits Of Mid-America: The Soma Records Story 1963 - 1967_

(part two)

"Remember Sam" The Easybeats _Gonna Have A Good Time: The Complete US & UK Singles Collection_
"Mohair Sam" Mouse & The Traps _The Fraternity Years_
"Sammy" The Montanas _Ripples, Volume 2: Dreamtime (British Sunshine Pop)_
"Sammy" Ernie Smith _The Best Of Ernie Smith_

"Damn Sam The Miracle Man" Damn Sam The Miracle Man & The Soul Congregation _Damn Sam The Miracle Man & The Soul Congregation_
"Sam" Hurricane Smith _Don't Let It Die_
"Sam The Samba Man" Rah Band _Sam The Samba Man_
"Sam Loves You" Severed Heads _Come Visit The Big Bigot_
"Telegram Sam" Bauhaus _Swing The Heartache: The BBC Sessions_

"Sam" Meat Puppets _Forbidden Places_
"Lucifer Sam" True West _Hollywood Holiday_
"Sam" Boss Hog _Boss Hog_
"Sam Hall" Richard Thompson _1000 Years Of Popular Music_
"Sam & Molly Are In Love" Little Name _How To Swim & Live_

"Goodbye Sam Hello Samantha" Cliff Richard _Jackie The Album_
"Samantha Secret Agent" All Girl Summer Fun Band _2_
"Samantha" The Mantles _The Mantles_

Preface To Sam's Show: These Are The Sams I Know

I would like to list the Sams I know for you.

I think there's a Sam currently at WRFL.  I don't know if we've met, or if he has a show this semester.  But I have him in my email contacts.  He seems to have written to the mailing list or something in the past few months.

There used to be a Sam at the station who was Program Manager for a while.  He's not there anymore.  I think the last time I saw him was last summer.

My wife works with a Sam who seems nice.  He brews his own beer, but, unlike everyone I've ever met who does that, his beer is quite good.

I have a lot of emails from Sam Harris, whom I admire a great deal.  But of course we're not friends.  I do love to read his blog, though.  His emails remind me to do that.

Okay, so I don't have a lot of Sams in my life, it appears.  Well.

There are many musicians named Sam, the most famous of which is perhaps Sam Cooke.  But of course one of the rules of Self Help Radio is that, unless the musician him- or her- or them-self/selves is/are the theme, they aren't eligible.

Have I ever written down the dumb rules I follow?  I probably should.  That'll show me!

If it appears strange to you that the dude who does Self Help Radio might do a show called "Sam's Show" & not have that many Sams in his life, then I ask you this: is it weird that I did a show about gangs & have never been in one? or that I did a show called "boom" but have never exploded? or did a show about alligators & crocodiles but do not have any currently as a friend?  I hope that settles the erroneous direction you were taking with this.  I mean, really, why be so serious?  It's not like you even listen to my show.

I swear.

Oh, I'd watch this!

Self Help Radio 101311: 1968 Revisited - 11th Anniversary Show!

Self Help Radio turned eleven & there was too much cake.  I still have cake in my shorts.  & a lit candle!  Ow!  Ow!  Ow!

Lots of music I didn't play the first time around, for whatever reason.  Listen to the show here.  Oh, if you need to access it directly - & it's in two parts - you can listen to part one or part two, whatever you prefer.  You know me, I'm in no position to judge.  Songs played listed in song playlist below.

Can you imagine, eleven years?  & never been kissed?

Thanks for listening!

(part one)

"Part One (Except)" Frank Zappa _Lumpy Gravy_
"Big" Red Krayola _God Bless The Red Krayola & All Who Sail With It_
"Waiting For The Electrician Or Someone Like Him (Excerpt)" Firesign Theatre _Waiting For The Electrician Or Someone Like Him_

"Lady Godiva's Operation" The Velvet Underground _White Light/White Heat_
"No One Is There" Nico _The Marble Index_
"Bat Macumba" Os Mutantes _Os Mutantes_
"Beatle Bones 'N' Smokin' Stones" Captain Beefheart & His Magic Band _Strictly Personal_

"Once Upon A Time In The West" Ennio Morricone _Once Upon A Time In The West_
"Song Of Innocence" David Axelord _Songs Of Innocence_
"On The Bed" George Harrison _Wonderwall Music_
"Mothers & Fathers" Bill Cosby _200 MPH_

"Marijuana" The Fugs _It Crawled Into My Hand, Honest_
"I Like Marijuana" David Peel & The Lower East Side _Have A Marijuana_

(part two)

"The Garden Of Earthly Delights" The United States Of America _The United States Of America_
"A Soldier's Prayer 1967" Archie Bell & The Drells _Tighten Up_
"The War Is Over" Phil Ochs _Tape From California_

"Ford Mustang" Serge Gainsbourg _Initials B.B._
"Some Velvet Morning" Nancy Sinatra & Lee Hazlewood _Nancy & Lee_
"The Girls & The Dogs" Scott Walker _Scott 2_
"La Bière" Jacques Brel _J'arrive_

"Beautiful Zelda" The Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band _The Doughnut In Granny's Greenhouse_
"Mr. Tambourine Man" William Shatner _The Transformed Man_
"Highly Illogical" Leonard Nimoy _Two Sides Of Leonard Nimoy_
"Motorcycle Ride" Bruce Haack _The Way-Out Record For Children_
"On The Old Front Porch" Tiny Tim _God Bless Tiny Tim_

"Lovefingers" Silver Apples _Silver Apples_
"Come Around" Skip Bifferty _Skip Bifferty_
"Quartet No. 6 In D Minor" The Free Design _You Could Be Born Again_
"Nice To See You" The Left Banke _The Left Banke Too_

Whither 1968 (Again)?

It's the eleventh anniversary of Self Help Radio!  Can you believe someone out there has allowed this show to go on for eleven years?  The quality police have been sleeping on the job,

As I was explaining yesterday, I have taken to using the anniversary of my show as a chance to revisit an old theme.  I have new themes every week; but surely something new has been recorded in the intervening years (or I've discovered something that I previously didn't know existed) that would fit an old theme.  It's a chance to re-do the show, or even undo it.

I decided to re-do my show about my favorite music from 1968, actually, by un-doing it.  That sounds better than what's really happening: I'm just playing music that I didn't play the first time around.  I'm also playing music I totally forgot about the first time around.  I didn't play anything from White Light/White Heat!  What the hell!  But my show was only an hour long then.  I say as if it's an excuse.

So you won't hear the Beatles, Tyrannosaurus Rex, the Kinks, Johnny Cash, the Rolling Stones, Van Morrison, the Zombies, Can, Herbie Hancock, or Peter Brötzmann tonight.  I played them the first time I did a 1968 show.  Luckily there were lots & lots of other great records (& some utterly ridiculous ones) that came out that year.  I'll be playing those!

I would also like to say out loud that reminding myself of what music I really loved from any particular year has been made sooooo easy thanks to the Rate Your Music web site.  I don't agree with probably most of their rankings but it does serve as a handy list of releases from a particular year.  It took hours off my preparation - I would otherwise have been looking at copyright notices & trying to determine from memory when something came out.

It's on tonight!  From 10pm to midnight!  88.1 fm in Lexington!  wrfl.fm online!

Listen!  It'll be a happy anniversary!

Preface To 1968: What?!? 1968 Again?!?

This week is my eleventh anniversary week.  My first official Self Help Radio show was October 9, 2002.  During this week, I revisit an old theme.

Now, eleven years make a lot of themes.  There's a lot I could revisit.  It's a hard decision to make - but I also don't want to repeat myself - some themes I might not be able to improve upon with a second chance.

I had an idea during that first year - it was actually barely four months into the show - I had no idea that I would be doing this show for eleven years! - the idea I had was that, during the week of my birthday, I would play music that I loved most from the year of my birth - & then move forward each year.  So the next year, I'd do 1969 (I was born in 1968), & the year after that, 1969, etc.

It occurred to me that I might want to revisit 1968 again.  But what did I play the first time?


"Julia" The Beatles _The Beatles_
"Weilder Of Words" Tyrannosaurus Rex _Our People Were Fair & Wore Stars In Their Hair_
"Animal Farm" The Kinks _The Kinks Are The Village Green Preservation Society_
"Folsom Prison Blues" Johnny Cash _Johnny Cash At Folsom Prison_

"Dear Doctor" Rolling Stones _Beggars Banquet_
"What's The Ugliest Part Of Your Body?" Frank Zappa _We're Only In It For The Money_
"The Way Young Lovers Do" Van Morrison _Astral Weeks_
"Maybe After He's Gone" Zombies _Odessey & Oracle_
"Uphill" Can _Delay_

"The Sorceror" Herbie Hancock _Speak Like A Child_
"Machine Gun (take two)" Peter Brötzmann Octet _Machine Gun_

I also played a Leonard Cohen song from his first album, but I have discovered that his first record was released in 1967, so I cheated on that.  Oh my.

The point is, why play it again?  & if so, what should I play?  If I've already played the music that I loved most from 1968, what comes next?  Two hours of second best?  Or what?

I'll try & answer that tomorrow.