Self Help Radio 022814: Split

What's worse than one Self Help Radio? A Self Help Radio split in two!  Okay, each episode of Self Help Radio is in fact split in two.  But the show has got all meta & is now about splitting as itself is split.  What's more, the show features an interview with a professional splitter & some spiritual advice for those of us who often feel as though we're split in two.  & of course, lots of songs.

Listen to the show!  It's now at Self Help Radio web site.  Or perhaps you'd prefer to listen directly?  The two halves are here: part one & part two.  The split list of songs are below.

Before I split - thanks for listening!

(part one)

"Banana Split For My Baby" Louis Prima _Angelina_
"Cherry For A Banana Split" Nipsey Russell _Things They Never Taught At School_
"We're The Banana Splits" The Banana Splits _Here Come The Banana Splits_

"You Can Split" Youngblood Smith _Big City Soul, Vol. 2_
"I Live In A Split-Level Head" Napoleon XIV _They're Coming To Take Me Away, Ha-Haa!_
"Let's Split" Syd Barrett _Opel_
"Split To The East" Jandek _Staring At The Cellophane_
"Split Second Feeling" Cabaret Voltaire _The Original Sound of Sheffield '78/'82_
"Love Split With Blood" Dog Faced Hermans _Hum Of Life_

"I've Got A Splitting Hedachi" The Dickies _Dawn Of The Dickies_
"Splitting In Two" Alternative TV _The Image Has Cracked_

(part two)

"Split" Liliput _Nag Nag Nag_
"Split Up The Money" Vic Godard & The Subway Sect _Twenty Odd Years: The Story Of Vic Godard & The Subway Sect_
"Split Myself In Two" Meat Puppets _Meat Puppets II_
"She Splits Me Up" Crocodiles _Crimes Of Passion_

"Split!" That Petrol Emotion _Babble_
"50/50 Split" Beatnik Filmstars _Beezer_
"A Beauty Of Love That Splits The Body In Two" Thee Headcoats _The Messerschmitt Pilot's Severed Hand_
"Split Single With Happy Lounge Labelmates" Half Man Half Biscuit _Four Lads Who Shook The Wirral_
"Cat & Split" Extra Medium Pony _11868_
"Split Minute" Darker My Love _Alive As You Are_
"Split Like A Lip, No Blood On The Beard" Buke & Gase _General Dome_

"Splitting Up" Edwyn Collins _Doctor Syntax_

Whither Split?

One day I split in two.  Was it mitosis?  Was it meiosis?  Was it youosis?  I have noosis idea.

I said to the new me, "Now there's two of us, we can work twice as long on each Self Help Radio show!"

But I looked horrified & said, "Screw that!  There's two of us!  Now we'll have enough time to do all the things that we've been wanting to do!"

I asked, "What are all the things we wanted to do?"

I replied, "Wait.  Don't you have a bucket list?"

I said, "No.  No, I don't."

"But," I said back to me, "isn't there something we've wanted to do our entire lives?  Exciting places to go?  Amazing things to see?"

I chuckled.  "You're new," I said.  "You haven't quite remembered how frightened & defeated we are."

"Oh," I replied.  "Well."

"Want to work on this week's Self Help Radio with me?" I asked.

"Sure, I guess," I said.  "What's the theme?"

"Split is the theme."

"How appropriate!" I said.  & we both laughed.

Sad, sad laughter.

The Internet Is Good/Bad For Obsessions

This wonderful article on my favorite game show - Match Game - led me today to YouTube which has an untold number of old Match Game episodes for me to watch.  I loved that show as a kid - & I'm not entirely sure why.

I had older brothers & sisters who cursed like sailors, & my brothers left pornographic magazines in the bathroom that I'd leaf through looking for cartoons or other things that would fascinate my comic book-loving brain (at a certain age, looking at naked people is kinda boring), so I don't think I was ever over-tittilated by the innuendo & risqué language & situations.  I know I found it funny, but I expected it - there were girls at school who would giggle & act horrified if they heard me say "fuck," so I imagine it would scandalize them much more than it would me to watch Match Game.

I think I liked the game show aspect of it - filling in the blanks! - & I know I loved Richard Dawson & Charles Nelson Reilly & even Brett Somers.  It was also fun to see people I saw in other television shows (though I knew Dawson from Hogan's Heroes) (& I'll bet every one of them had appeared on the Love Boat &/or Fantasy Island).  & I loved how ridiculously playful Gene Rayburn was (though honestly he also kinda creeped me out) (it may be because he resembles my mother's boyfriend at the time).  As the article linked above points out, it was like being invited to a cocktail party - on a garishly colorful set (although I'm certain I watched most of the episodes on a black & white television) with that insane microphone Rayburn used.

But even though I wrote a "review" for the show on the IMDb a lifetime ago - in 2001 - I missed this documentary, called "Behind The Blank," which aired in 2002 on the then-called Game Show Network, which at the time aired two episodes per night.  I recommend it!  It's fun to listen to older versions of my 1970s friends talk about the show - Gene Rayburn says, "We were just a bunch of friends having a good time."  The magic of the show was that they made you feel like you were one of their friends, as well.

Gotta go back to watch more now!

"Hollywood Sign Generator"

Thanks to this site (which looks to be out of date, so I hope they saved Cahuenga Peak) (I suppose they did?) (I can't find any information about it) - anyway, thanks to that site, I can make everyone see what Hollywood would be like if it were cool.

Or - wait - the opposite of cool.

Self Help Radio Week In A Week!

Next week is Self Help Radio Week!  Every day of the week is a new episode of Self Help Radio!

Yeah, I know it's not that exciting.  But it'll be fun!  I promise!

Here are the five themes the show will be exploring next week:

Monday: Tests
Tuesday: Castles
Wednesday: Indiepop A To Z # 43
Thursday: Swamps
Friday: Hope

Craziness!