Self Help Radio 071217: Rubber

(Original image from this video, which, oh why not, just watch it.)

Yes, an entire show about rubbers.  Surprisingly, though rubber clothing & "rubbers" make their appearance, the show focused more on rubber bands (lots of rubber bands), rubber balls, rubber dolls, & other rubbery things.  Who knew rubber had sparked the imagination of so many?

In addition to the music, I talked to my spiritual advisor, the CEO of a rubber corporation, an entrepreneur who hawks miracle rubber trees, & a critic of the show looking to set records straight.  I note when the interviews happen in-between the sets.  All in all, it's more interesting than trying to take off a rubber wet suit, but only just.

You can bounce yourself along to the Self Help Radio website to listen.  You will need a username ("SHR") & a password ("selfhelp") if you want to listen.  The show is in two parts, & all the rubber songs I played are listed below.

The German word for rubber may be Gummi.  That seems inappropriate, but how would I know?

(part one)

"Rubber Bouncy Ball" The Telephone Company _Panda Brain!_
"Rubberbands" Bruce Haack _Hush Little Robot_
"Burn Rubber (Why You Wanna Hurt Me)" The Gap Band _Gap Band III_

"Rubber Ball" The Avons _The Best Of The Sixties_
"Red Rubber Ball" The Diodes _The Diodes_
"Rubberhead" Steve Martin _Comedy Is Not Pretty!_
"Rubber Band" David Bowie _The Deram Anthology 1966-1968_
"Rubberband Girl" Kate Bush _The Red Shoes_

interview with the Rev. Dr. Howard Gently

"Rubber Dolly" Mississippi John Hurt _D.C. Blues: The Library Of Congress Recordings, Vol. 1_
"Rubber Biscuit" The Chips _Great Googa Mooga!_
"Rubber People (Decca Demo)" Adam & The Ants _Antmusic For Sexpeople_
"Rubber Room" Porter Wagoner _What Ain't To Be, Just Might Happen_

interview with CEO of Fruchter Rubber, David Fruchter

"Stretchin' Out (In A Rubber Band)" Bootsy Collins _Stretchin' Out In Bootsy's Rubber Band_

(part two)

"Rubberneckin' (Paul Oakenfold Remix)" Elvis Presley _Elvis 2nd To None_
"Stretch Your Rubber Band" The Meters _Anthology_
"High Hopes (with Eddie Hodges)" Frank Sinatra _Sinatra In Hollywood: 1940-1964_

interview with rubber tree entrepreneur CJ Buchanan

"Rubber Duckie" Ernie _Sesame Street: Platinum All-Time Favorites_
"Put My Rubber Doll Away" Bill Monroe _Bluegrass (1959-1969)_
"Rubber Ducky Massage Parlor" Conception Corportation _Complete Conception_
"Red Rubber Army" Robert Pollard _Jack Sells The Cow_
"The Rubberband Man" The Spinners _The Best Of The Spinners_

interview with critic of the show Allen Shariaty

"Fancy Rubber Things" The Gargoyles _Steamflapper_
"Wood, Lead, Rubber" Agent Ribbons _We Are All Awesome_
"Tight Black Rubber" Frank Black _Bluefinger_
"Rubber Quince" Tania Rivas _Rubber Quince_
"Rubber Ball" Talulah Gosh _Backwash_

"The Rubber Band" Eddie Bo & The Soulfinders _New Orleans Funk, Vol. 2_
"Funky Rubber Band" Popcorn Wylie _The Complete Motown Singles, Vol. 11B: 1971_

Whither Rubber?

(Tapping a rubber tree.  Image from here.)

For the past few weeks it seems like I've been hearing songs - not voices - I don't hear voices - unless I'm hearing lines of dialogue from television or film or comedy or spoken words records - or in songs of course - I mean to say I'm not hearing specific voices that seem to be speaking only to me which are also telling me to do things - which might mean that I am saying that I don't hear voices that tell me which themes to explore on the show - although that would be much easier than my current process - anyway as I was saying I was hearing songs - & yes of course the songs had voices in them, human voices, so by listening to songs I've been listening to voices but my initial digression was a clarification because the phrase "hearing voices" has a specific meaning in our culture - maybe I should start again.

For the past few weeks it seems like a lot of the songs I've been listening to were about rubber bands. I was listening of course to a bit of funk.  & I thought to myself, I should do a show about rubber bands!  But then it occurred to me that that was perhaps too narrow a theme.  That maybe I should include other rubber things.  So I did.  I expanded the scope of the theme.

There are still probably many more rubber band songs than others, but the show has been entirely rubberized.  I'm sure it'll be elastic fun.

& it's on tonight on 93.9 fm WLXU in Lexington & online at the LCR web site (make sure you choose WLXU) from 9-11pm eastern, 8-10 central.  It'll keep moisture out & be very easy to clean.  Promise!

Preface To Rubber: My Early Experience With That Word

Rubber is this word that somehow walked the line between clean & dirty, which made it frequently funny, when I was a kid.  I have a memory of not knowing if I should say it out loud unless it was as an adjective, i.e. rubber eraser, rubber ball.

"Rubbers" is of course what people have called condoms since - when?  The Online Etymology Dictionary says it dates from the 1930s, but the Wikipedia entry on condoms disagrees, saying:

The rubber vulcanization process was invented by Charles Goodyear in 1839, & patented in 1844. The first rubber condom was produced in 1855, & by the late 1850s several major rubber companies were mass-producing, among other items, rubber condoms. A main advantage of rubber condoms was their reusability*, making them a more economical choice in the long term. Compared to the 19th century rubber condoms, however, skin condoms were initially cheaper & offered better sensitivity. For these reasons, skin condoms remained more popular than the rubber variety. However, by the end of the 19th century, "rubber" had become a euphemism for condoms in countries around the world.

Whom should I believe?

Of course, my classmates didn't really talk about condoms until the pubescent shit storm that is middle school, & all I knew is that there was something called rubbers & it had to do with sex.  So one time in seventh grade, when a female classmate came in late to first period because it was raining, & she came in in rain gear, & the teacher said, "Honey, go ahead & take off your rubbers," referring to her galoshes, the guys in the class lost it.

"Honestly," the teacher said, "you boys should grow up."

At this point I should mention that the only sex education available to students of the Garland Independent School District was a filmstrip produced some time in the early 1960s shown in fifth grade.  No follow ups, nothing.

Not that we wouldn't have laughed anyway.

* Their reusability?!?

Speaking Of Traffic

This happened yesterday in Fort Worth.

Someone who knows better than I do must tell me why certain places are more prone to severe weather.  I was dropping someone off at the airport & drove toward the city which looked as though some Tolkien-level evil was about to descend.  On the highway, the rain came at the car horizontally,
accompanied by hail, & people stopped, or drove slowly, or sought refuge under overpasses.

Foolishly I drove through some water but our plucky Prius was up to the task.  I waited the storm out under a business' carport - not much help, because as I pointed out, the rain & hail were being blown sideways into the car - I tried to get out to take a look - & pictures - but was soaked just cracking the door.

My journey home was through side streets, since, as the article above points out, some main roads were impassable.  When I got home, my animals were safe, the car didn't appear to have hail damage, & the only casualties were two tree limbs from two of our pecan trees which, fortunately, did not fall near the house.

Boy did I feel guilty about not being with my pups.  Winston, who just turned ten, is quite frightened by storms.  I hope the others comforted him.

But speaking of traffic - except for the giant truck behind me that kept honking at me to move along on the highway, everyone behaved quite well, slowing down with visibility was nonexistent, & mostly not being dicks.  I'm not sure if I had been stuck in-between cars & rising water that I'd not freak out, but certainly being in terrible weather keeps one on one's toes.

I'm telling you, it was harrowing.

Things I Really Hate # 1: Being Stuck In Traffic

(This nightmare photo from here.)

You know, I'm the sort of guy who doesn't hate things.  If someone I know says they hate a band or a musician, I am more likely to say I just don't like them.  Opinions are opinions, there's no accounting for taste, etc.  I once told someone at a radio station who was shitting on an artist that they just didn't like them, that many other people liked them, that they couldn't dismiss them out of hand as "bad" just because they had a negative opinion.

But traffic is different.  Look.  Human drive cars.  Humans who are stupid have accidents that cause traffic.  Humans who are stupid decide in a situation where their attention should be on the road to do other shit.  They decide to drive poorly.  They decide to talk to their moronic friends on their phones. They decide to do anything but as quickly as possible get from one place to another.

This happened yesterday: while taking my wife to the airport, I found myself on a highway reduced to a standstill.  At one point, someone decided to just sit in her car & use the time to rummage through her back seat.  Yards of empty space opened before her idling minivan.  People honked.  To no avail.

The reason for the slowdown was an accident at an important exit so also fuck those guys.  But traffic slowdowns are not excuses to fuck around.  Everyone in their cars is just as important as everyone else.  When you as a driver decide to be nonchalant, you're fucking everyone else over.  Also, if you decide you're more important than anyone else, &, say, decide to drive on the shoulder - you're also fucking everyone else over.  God damn it!

But that moment when everyone isn't moving, & it seems like nothing is happening, & there's no way out - agh! I hate that.  I feel like someone who's about to go crazy.

Today I drove in a terrible storm.  Rain & hail were blowing sideways, the streets filled with water, it was terrifying.  But I would prefer that to being stuck in traffic.

Seriously.