Self Help Radio 110218: Well I Never

(Original image over here.)

What is it, I wonder, that I never do?  Is it that I never lie?  Or I never loved you?  That I never worry, or that I never knew?  Could it be that I never want anything, or have I never wanted anything more? With a word like "never" in play, it's a wonder this show isn't filled with Cure songs!

It is what it is.  It's the nature of a show like this that the exploration of a theme may seem, at the outset, to lend itself to greater interest & insight.  & sometimes not.  Which was this show?  I know how I feel, tell me how you feel after you're listened, won't you?

The show is now at the Self Help Radio website.  You'll need a username & password to listen, as you probably know by now.  Well, I never told you this directly: the username is SHR & the password is selfhelp.  The songs I played & the silliness in-between are both listed below.

I never get tired of doing these ridiculous shows, you know.  I think I may have a problem.

Self Help Radio Well I Never Show

"I Never Happened" Comet Gain _I Never Happened 7"_
"I Never Wanted Any Of This" Best Wishes _Bella Vista + Best Wishes 7"_
"I Never Loved Anyone" Voyagers _Teen Town U.S.A., Vol. 6_

introduction & complications

"I Never Would" Seapony _Go With Me_
"I Never Tell Me Twice" Kangaroo _Kangaroo_
"I Never Knew" Roy Orbison _The Sun Years_
"I Never See Maggie Alone" Hot Lips Page _1946-1950_
"I Never Want To See You Again" Quasi _Featuring "Birds"_

interview with FBI Special Agent Charles McGruff

"I Never Found Out" Adam Green & Binki Shapiro _Adam Green & Binki Shapiro_
"I Never Get Much Sleep On Weekdays" Mikrofisch _Masters Of The Universe_
"I Never Will Marry" The Smothers Brothers _Think Ethnic_
"I Never Worry" Bob Troy _I Never Worry_
"I Never Knew" Eddie Foster _The Wigan Casino Story_

interview with birds

"I Never Said I Was Deep" Jarvis Cocker _Further Complications_
"I Never Loved You" Strawberry Story _The Man With The Stereo Hands_
"I Never Liked The Look Of You" Airport Girl _Seven Summers (International Pop Vol. 2)_
"I Never Wanted Love" Shannon & The Clams _Onion_
"I Never Needed It Now So Much" The Go! Team _Proof Of Youth_

Ned Dry interrupts

"I Never Imagined" Mighty Mighty _One Way EP_
"I Never Said That" The Brilliant Corners _What's In A Word_
"I Never Loved Your Mind" Jumprope _Holiday In Brazil_
"I Never Lied To You" Syd Barrett _Barrett_
"I Never Wanted To Be A Star" Cat Stevens _Izitso_

the unexpected fifth airbreak of the show

"I Never Loved Her" The Starfires _Pebbles, Vol. 8: Southern California 1_
"I Never Thought I'd Find" Manikins _Inner City Sound_
"I Never Thought It Would Happen" The Rubinoos _The Rubinoos_
"I Never Want An Easy Life If Me & He Were Ever To Get There" The Charlatans _Up To Our Hips_
"I Never Knew" The Fastbacks _The Question Is No_

conclusions & goodbyes

"I Never Picked Cotton" Johnny Cash _American Recordings: Unchained_
"I'm Glad I Never" Lee Hazlewood _Requiem For An Almost Lady_
"I Never Raised My Voice To You" Harvest Ministers _Orbit_
"Song I Never Sung" Tom Selleck's Moustache _Heartbreak 101

Whither Well I Never?

(Image from here.)

At long last! Could it be? Finally? The Self Help Radio episode on indignation?!?

As the Google dictionary tells us:

Surely this must mean...!

No, sorry.  Sorry, no.  It's just another one of those phrase shows.  Every song will feature someone saying something in the form of "I Never."  I never lied.  I never wanted.  I never verb or I never verbed.  That's all.  I know it's not fun for anyone but me, but I simply can't help myself.  How many songs can I find like this?  How will they fit together?  That's what I enjoy doing.

It's cool though - you don't have to listen tomorrow at noon at Self Help Radio dot net.  I won't be outraged that you don't.  & in a couple of weeks I'm doing another animal show, maybe you like that better.

But I totally agree - a show about indignation would be awesome.

Preface To Well I Never: Happy Halloween!

Now, I'm not going to point you to all the Halloween shows I've done but I did want to take the time to find answers to questions about Halloween that I've had which I only think about on Halloween but am too busy eating candy to remember to look up after Halloween.  Here they are:

Why do fundamentalist Christians hate Halloween?  Maybe the answer is pretty obvious, but it's nice to have it laid out.  Here is a web page explaining their objections from their point of view.

Are you old enough to recall when there was a scare about people putting razor blades in Halloween candy?  Did those things really happen?  Apparently they did not.

How about all that Satan worship stuff everyone lost their shit about in the 80s & 90s.  That's all over now, right?  Um, no.  No it's really not.

This is a weird one I just discovered on Snopes: A blue bucket is said to indicate the child has autism?  This is a weird world.

We didn't buy much candy-type stuff today - actually, we bought organic fruit roll-ups types that the wife likes in case we don't give many away - but I did notice that there's something called a Treat Map on Next Door Dot Com which lets parents know who has candy.  I think that's neat.  But I
still don't think we'll get many trick or treaters.

Sick Of Halloween Shows? Here's Another One!

Sorry to keep bugging you with Halloween shows, but I did another one, this time for my show on KNON, & if you want to listen, you can here, on Radio Free America.

That's all.  No more Halloween.  Till next year.

Whatever shall I do a show about then?

Halloween Shows

As promised, I have collected all the Halloween shows I've digitized (from 2005 on) on one page, & made it slightly more presentable than the half-assed page I made last year.  The link is here:

The Self Help Radio Halloween Collection

There are only two episodes I haven't collected here, & they're my earliest two shows, which may not be available anymore.  (I haven't looked.)  One was a general Halloween show, the other was about ghosts.  I may recreate that one at some point.  Who knows?

As always, I can't speak for the quality of any of these shows.  I was quite fond of the voodoo show this year, but I don't really revisit my shows, so I have no idea if they're entertaining at all.

They are, however, very helpful for doing general format Halloween shows, which I will be doing tomorrow for the Tuesday Morning Blend, that's in the morning from 7-9am.