Preface To Thunder: I Guess I Don't Miss The Thunder

It's hard to believe it's almost a year since we've moved to Portland.  We lived in Fort Worth, Texas, for nearly three years, & although I'm not a meteorologist & I haven't actually looked this up, I have theories about why the storms in Fort Worth in particular are so awful.

Did I not mention the storms in Fort Worth were awful?  Oh yes!  Lots of wind & thunder & lightning.  Skies darkening menacingly & suddenly.  Flash floods & power outages.  They seemed to always roll in from the west, where the city began & the plains ended.  & that was my theory:

Something about the size of a city, plus the way it absorbs heat, acts as a kind of natural barrier for extreme weather, which seems to need space in order to build its destructive strength.

Is that true?  According to this article in the Dallas Morning News, no.  Instead, the explanation for the intensity & frequency of Texas thunderstorms involves "the jet stream, moist air, & lingering cold fronts."

But, you see, thunderstorms in Fort Worth seem way more intense & ferocious than those on the other side of the metroplex, which is way more populated - & farther away from the storm, which has to travel through a giant collection of cities, suburbs, highways, even an enormous airport.

So in that willful way that is the hallmark of being a human, I will continue to believe there's something to the geography of Fort Worth that invites worse thunderstorms - mainly its position as the first major city the storms will encounter as they come from the west.  It just seems true.  You know?

& anyway, there's only been a couple of thunderstorms since we arrived here, & I haven't missed them at all.  The steady rain of Portland is its own kind of drama, really.

Did You Forget?

Did you forget?  I forgot.

How could you forget?  How could I not?

You wanted to forget?  I wanted it forgotten.

Is it hard to forget?  I used to know - but I forgot.

Don't we struggle to remember?  If we remember to.

So it's best to forget?  Perhaps it's best to be forgotten.

I never want to forget!  I forgot you always say that.

Oh, forget all about it.  Consider it forgotten.

The Dickenbock Report (Episode 9)/A KBOO Sub Show

Hey, I know there are far more interesting ways to pass your time during this quarantine/social distancing reality we have, but in case there isn't any more lint in your belly button to dig out & all the paint has already dried without spectators, I have put two recent radio shows on the Self Help Radio website for your audio "enjoyment."

Yes, those are quotation marks.  I understand how desperate one need to be to choose to listen to anything I do on the radio.

One is last week's Dickenbock Report, which made its (prerecorded) Tuesday morning premiere.  It's a hefty three hours long, & most of the show celebrates National Beer Day with boozy tunes, although the regular birth day/death day segment happens & there are beaver songs for International Beaver Day.

If you don't want to go to the website, click on this discolored set of words to access the show directly.  You will be asked for a username (which is SHR) & a password (which is selfhelp) to listen.  But you'll only be asked once!

The second is two & a half hours of me playing new music on Thursday morning in the space where the Dickenbock Report used to be.  It's mostly stuff released in 2020, & I keep my yapping to a minimum.  If you'd prefer to go directly to the show, click on this sentence to access the mp3 without all that yucky Self Help Radio web page nonsense.  Again, you'll need a username - SHR - & a password - selfhelp.

That is all.  I mean, it's five & a half hours of radio, but that's all from me right now.

Self Help Radio 041320: Surprise!

(Original image here.)

Surprise!  Self Help Radio's show about surprise is a day late!  This may not be much of a surprise, especially considering that it's nearly impossible to determine what day it is most of the time, & time seems itself to be quarantined, trying to get rid of some sickness.  But who cares!  It's a show about surprise!  Surely everyone loves a surprise!

Actually, there are a lot of people who really, really hate surprises.  I have documentation about this assertion.  Still, hating surprises doesn't necessarily mean you'll hate a radio program about surprises.  Because songs about surprises, especially when you're expecting songs about surprises, aren't surprising at all.  So you get the best of both worlds!

The show is, unsurprisingly, at the Self Help Radio website when/if you'd like to listen.  Remember, there is a username (SHR) & a password (selfhelp) needed to listen.  That's no surprise.  & also what songs are played is not a surprise.  They're listed below.

Honestly, for a show about surprise, I'm not really offering many surprises.

Self Help Radio Surprise Show

"Surprise!" +/- _You Are Here_
"Surprise" We Are Scientists _Crap Attack_
"Surprise" Royal Headache _Royal Headache_

introduction & definitions

"Surprise, Surprise" The Rolling Stones _Singles Collection: The London Years_
"Surprise, Surprise (Sweet Bird Of Paradox)" John Lennon _Anthology_
"You'd Be Surprised" Mike Birbiglia _Two Drink Mike_
"Surprise, Surprise" Girlfrendo _Surprise! Surprise! It's Girlfrendo_
"Surprise! Surprise!" Laptop _Don't Try This At Home_

a surprise phone call from Bingham Killkid

"Secret Surprise" Joanna Gruesome _Weird Sister_
"I Am Not Surprised" The Organ _Grab That Gun_
"On Surprises" Fabio _Fabio After Dark_
"Don't Be Surprised" Lynn Williams _Eccentric Soul: The Outskirts Of Deep City_
"Surprise Party For Baby" The Vibrating Vibrations _The Golden Torch Revisited_

an attempt to plan a surprise with Elliot Kliffnerd

"Surprised" The Sugargliders _A Boy, A Girl, & A Rendezvous_
"Surprised" Holiday Flyer _You Make Us Go_
"The Element Of Surprise" The Last Shadow Puppets _Everything You've Come To Expect_
"Little Surprise" The Wave Pictures _Beer In The Breakers_
"A Big Surprise" Sparks _Introducing Sparks_

a surprise phone call from Alyssa & Jason

"I'll Be Your Surprise" Hurrah! _The Sound Of Philadelphia_
"Taken By Surprise" The Family Cat _Tell 'Em We're Surfin'_
"It Was The Surprise More Than Anything" Les Barker _The War On Terrier_
"Surprise, Surprise" X _See How We Are_
"No More Surprises" The Ettes _Shake The Dust_

another surprise phone call from Bingham Killkid

"My Dog Surprise" Guided By Voices _Warp & Woof_
"Surprise Me" Altered Images _Happy Birthday (The Best Of Altered Images)_
"Surprise Symphony" Deerhoof _Reveille_
"Don't Be Surprised" Twerps _Twerps_
"Taken By Surprise" Varsity _The Basement Takes: 2015-2016_

conclusion & goodbye

"Avocado Surprise" Mo Douglas _Healthy Instrumentals_
"Some Kind Of Surprise" Winter _Supreme Blue Dream_
"Surprise Us" Palomar _All Things, Forests_

Whither Surprise?

(I wish I could remember where I found this.)

Surprise!  Tomorrow there'll be another Self Help Radio, & the theme will be "surprise."  This is the theme that would've been explored if circumstances hadn't changed life as we know it so dramatically four weeks ago.

Have I taken the time to work on the show?  Nah.  I am just now gathering music at this late date.  I'll work on the show into the night & tomorrow, & it'll appear during the day sometime on the Self Help Radio website.  I'll announce it here, on Twitter, & on the show's Facebook page.  Basically wherever you saw this, it'll be the same place.  Hopefully it won't be so late in the day, but to be honest, I've been needing afternoon naps a lot recently.

Hey!  Am I deliberating being vague so where I announce that the show about surprise is ready, it'll be something of a surprise?  Of course not.  Unless you think that's cool.  Do you think that's cool?  You choose.

See you tomorrow!