You must resist the urge to equate the word "window" with a computer operating systems.
My favorite window memories are drawing on windows fogged by the cold when I was bored child. I also used to love slowly revealing the outdoors by rubbing the window fog away.
My family once lived at an apartment complex, the back end of which abutted the parking lot of a Lutheran Church. The parking lot, of course, was in church's rear. Some kids who went to school with me went to that church. Our apartment faced the church's parking lot, & my bedroom window looked out over the parking lot. Once in middle school, a girl who went to the church complained to me that her entire family could see, through my window, my sleeping body as they exited their car on Sunday mornings. I was surprisingly unself-conscious about this information, & don't remember changing my behavior. The window faced the east, & I loved being awakened by the rising sun. Now I feel a little flattered that something so innocuous caused church-goers to comment. It's not like I slept in the nude!
I have never been much of a voyeur, but I think that most people dream of seeing something surprising & revealing in a stranger's window. & maybe that's why most of us don't want people to stare into our windows. I would prefer blinds or curtains over every window. What do I have to hide? What do you have to hide?
A friend of a friend was in a Christian rock band in Dallas during my college years & I could never remember what they were called. They were called something like "House Without Walls," which is (of course) a reference to something in scripture. But during one visit to Dallas, I asked the friend whose friend was in the band, "Do you ever make music with him anymore, or does he still play in that Christian rock band - what are they called, World Without Windows?"
My friend corrected me but said, "I think yours is a better band name."
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Friday, April 13, 2012
Paraskevidekatriaphobia
Are you afraid of Friday the 13th? You ought not be. But you should. From time immemorial, when we didn't have good records, to time memorial, which is what we also call now, when we have better records but people are instead saving music to their computers, humans all over the place have been afraid of Friday the 13th & that include many people's mothers.
Why would scared parents warn impressionable children of a day like any other which happened to be a Friday &, if the calendar is to be believed, also the 13th? Scholars & circus people alike have spent many hours poring through the annals of human thought (sometimes the two DVD set) overlooking the underpinnings of this nefarious date. Here's something similar to what they found:
- On Friday the 13th, people who otherwise can pronounce English words more or less correctly find certain vowel combinations difficult. "Dairy" becomes "diary." "Tier" becomes "tire." & some for strange reason "beet" becomes "beat."
- On a Friday the 13th when the moon is waxing gibbous, people who drive to work can't get the melody - but not the words - of "Frère Jacques" out of their heads.
- On a Friday the 13th in a Leap Year, any group of thirteen people - even if they don't know each other - must apologize profusely to passers-by or, if they're in an office, or a lobby, or an elevator - mutter undignified excuses to themselves, or else their children's children will be cursed with temporary ineffectualness on important national holidays.
There are terrifying stories about folks who chose to toy with their fates on Friday the 13th, & unfortunately none of them have survived to tell their tales. Here are some moderately accurate recreations:
- On Friday the 13th, 1891, a young man in Ohio refused to offer blandishments to a young maiden who was expecting them, & sixteen years later that young man was forced by President Theodore Roosevelt to put his head in a recently killed moose.
- On Friday the 13th some time in the last seven years, two children who have since stopped being children because of aging were struck by the inherent awfulness of cartoons in the 1980s & never spoke of it again.
- On Friday the 13th when it used to matter, a young minor league Baseball booster decided to cross the street under a ladder walking barefoot over a broken mirror & was accidentally side-swiped by a car owned but not driven by none other than Stevie Wonder's former bodyguard's niece.
How do psychologists treat those with an irrational fear of this day? It turns out it's the same way they treat those with rational fear of this day: with powerful chocolate-scented narcotics. Should you be one of those unfortunate souls without access to decidedly unethical analysts, there are some over-the-counter & over-the-top treatments recommended by those who ought to know better. Try at your own risk.
- Anything with lanolin smeared on any part of you that resembles a sheep.
- A red scarf draped over a blue hat billowing out of a yellow sportscar.
- Reading any three of Shakespeare's sonnets to a surly senior citizen.
- Standing uncomfortably in a hobby store asking uncomfortable questions.
- Calendar avoidance &/or "accidental" date rearranging.
Most of all, you should be entirely aware of the arbitrary nature of this day which happens to be a Friday coinciding with the thirteenth of the month (luckily, not all months have thirteen days). The ancient Eritreans, for example, found Tuesday the 3rd to be full of ill omens, especially if bills were due. Certain South American city-states used to plan no weddings, funerals, or ice cream socials on any Wednesday that fell on a 4th or 14th. & of course certain religious sects have cautioned against going against holy dicta on even-numbered months that fell in odd-numbered years, but you expect that sort of thing from them, don't you?
Hopefully the more information you know about the history of "Friday the 13th," the less you have an irrational fear of it! Have a happy 13th of Friday!
Why would scared parents warn impressionable children of a day like any other which happened to be a Friday &, if the calendar is to be believed, also the 13th? Scholars & circus people alike have spent many hours poring through the annals of human thought (sometimes the two DVD set) overlooking the underpinnings of this nefarious date. Here's something similar to what they found:
- On Friday the 13th, people who otherwise can pronounce English words more or less correctly find certain vowel combinations difficult. "Dairy" becomes "diary." "Tier" becomes "tire." & some for strange reason "beet" becomes "beat."
- On a Friday the 13th when the moon is waxing gibbous, people who drive to work can't get the melody - but not the words - of "Frère Jacques" out of their heads.
- On a Friday the 13th in a Leap Year, any group of thirteen people - even if they don't know each other - must apologize profusely to passers-by or, if they're in an office, or a lobby, or an elevator - mutter undignified excuses to themselves, or else their children's children will be cursed with temporary ineffectualness on important national holidays.
There are terrifying stories about folks who chose to toy with their fates on Friday the 13th, & unfortunately none of them have survived to tell their tales. Here are some moderately accurate recreations:
- On Friday the 13th, 1891, a young man in Ohio refused to offer blandishments to a young maiden who was expecting them, & sixteen years later that young man was forced by President Theodore Roosevelt to put his head in a recently killed moose.
- On Friday the 13th some time in the last seven years, two children who have since stopped being children because of aging were struck by the inherent awfulness of cartoons in the 1980s & never spoke of it again.
- On Friday the 13th when it used to matter, a young minor league Baseball booster decided to cross the street under a ladder walking barefoot over a broken mirror & was accidentally side-swiped by a car owned but not driven by none other than Stevie Wonder's former bodyguard's niece.
How do psychologists treat those with an irrational fear of this day? It turns out it's the same way they treat those with rational fear of this day: with powerful chocolate-scented narcotics. Should you be one of those unfortunate souls without access to decidedly unethical analysts, there are some over-the-counter & over-the-top treatments recommended by those who ought to know better. Try at your own risk.
- Anything with lanolin smeared on any part of you that resembles a sheep.
- A red scarf draped over a blue hat billowing out of a yellow sportscar.
- Reading any three of Shakespeare's sonnets to a surly senior citizen.
- Standing uncomfortably in a hobby store asking uncomfortable questions.
- Calendar avoidance &/or "accidental" date rearranging.
Most of all, you should be entirely aware of the arbitrary nature of this day which happens to be a Friday coinciding with the thirteenth of the month (luckily, not all months have thirteen days). The ancient Eritreans, for example, found Tuesday the 3rd to be full of ill omens, especially if bills were due. Certain South American city-states used to plan no weddings, funerals, or ice cream socials on any Wednesday that fell on a 4th or 14th. & of course certain religious sects have cautioned against going against holy dicta on even-numbered months that fell in odd-numbered years, but you expect that sort of thing from them, don't you?
Hopefully the more information you know about the history of "Friday the 13th," the less you have an irrational fear of it! Have a happy 13th of Friday!
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Second-Person Shooter Adventures
The Development Officer has an idea. It finds its way to a post-it note. The post-it note does not exist in the physical world per se - it's a small program on the Development Officer's laptop. "That's all right," she thinks, "the idea does not exist in the physical world either."
"That's where you're wrong," says the Production Manager. She is facing quite an unhappy group of developers this morning. She doesn't have time for the Development Officer's half-baked, hare-brained ideas. She quickly fires off a memo to corporate. The memo also doesn't exist in the physical world per se - it's an ingenious application designed for the office's internal network by the Computer Guy.
The Computer Guy, whom everyone called "Jesse," took too many pills last night. He has a terrible habit of taking his friends' prescription medications if they happen to leave them at his place. Or if he happens to be at their place & finds some in their medicine cabinets. He used to take the time to look up the pills in a Big Book Of Pharmaceuticals, but now he just takes them, often in small handfuls, & waits to see how they affect him. One result is: he sometimes does not remember what he did for hours before the effects wear off.
He does not know, for example, that he hacked into his own system - he may have thought he was testing its security, although he obviously knew more about it than any intruder would - & sent out sensitive documents to everyone in the office as well as some who worked from home & others who were subscribed to his Doctor Who mailing list. But thanks to the pills he took around 11:30 pm the night before, he does not know it was he who breached security.
The Chief Financial Officer has spent the morning "putting out fires," as he puts it, so when he finds the Development Officer's idea, sent among a flurry of emails while angry workers storm in & out his office all morning long, he finds the timing so ludicrous that he believes she must have somehow been responsible for the late-night security problem.
The Chief Financial Officer orders Jesse the Computer Guy to surreptitiously search the Development Officer's computer under suspicion of the crime. He tells Jesse, "You know the stakes are high - if you can't find something, make sure you still find something." Jessie the Computer Guy is still a little too messed up to really understand what he's being asked to do.
In the small hallway outside the break room, the Production Manager, who has in the past believed that the Computer Guy has something of a thing for her, corners Jesse & asks about the investigation into the hacking. The Production Manager has not been included in the investigation by the Chief Financial Officer because many of the leaked documents show her in a favorable light toward the employees - defending popular projects, authorizing overtime, supporting (as Production Managers often do) her employees - & while the Chief Financial Officer does not exactly suspect her, he does not entirely trust her at this point in time.
Although the Production Manager is somewhat correct - the Computer Guy doesn't exactly have "something of a thing for her," he just enjoys looking at her breasts - she is not prepared for him to confess that he's been asked to do something unethical, if not illegal, to put the blame on the Development Officer. This gives the Production Manager an idea - & it's not one she commits to a post-it note that does not exist in the physical world.
Later, after the Production Manager has been promoted to Production Director, & the Chief Financial Officer has been suspended pending a criminal investigation, the Development Officer overhears Jesse the Computer Guy tell an intern, whose breasts he enjoys looking at, that it's not entirely true to say that things that are "on a computer," like mp3 files or text documents, "don't exist in the real world," as they are composed of physical things called "bytes," which, he points out, used to be kept on very tangible items like floppy discs, & which now need to be stored on a "hard drive" inside the computer.
The Development Officer suddenly suspect the Computer Guy of hacking his own system &, although she can't understand why he'd do such a thing - he didn't benefit in any way from the episode - she still tells her suspicions - in person - to the new Production Director & the interim Chief Financial Officer.
"That's where you're wrong," says the Production Manager. She is facing quite an unhappy group of developers this morning. She doesn't have time for the Development Officer's half-baked, hare-brained ideas. She quickly fires off a memo to corporate. The memo also doesn't exist in the physical world per se - it's an ingenious application designed for the office's internal network by the Computer Guy.
The Computer Guy, whom everyone called "Jesse," took too many pills last night. He has a terrible habit of taking his friends' prescription medications if they happen to leave them at his place. Or if he happens to be at their place & finds some in their medicine cabinets. He used to take the time to look up the pills in a Big Book Of Pharmaceuticals, but now he just takes them, often in small handfuls, & waits to see how they affect him. One result is: he sometimes does not remember what he did for hours before the effects wear off.
He does not know, for example, that he hacked into his own system - he may have thought he was testing its security, although he obviously knew more about it than any intruder would - & sent out sensitive documents to everyone in the office as well as some who worked from home & others who were subscribed to his Doctor Who mailing list. But thanks to the pills he took around 11:30 pm the night before, he does not know it was he who breached security.
The Chief Financial Officer has spent the morning "putting out fires," as he puts it, so when he finds the Development Officer's idea, sent among a flurry of emails while angry workers storm in & out his office all morning long, he finds the timing so ludicrous that he believes she must have somehow been responsible for the late-night security problem.
The Chief Financial Officer orders Jesse the Computer Guy to surreptitiously search the Development Officer's computer under suspicion of the crime. He tells Jesse, "You know the stakes are high - if you can't find something, make sure you still find something." Jessie the Computer Guy is still a little too messed up to really understand what he's being asked to do.
In the small hallway outside the break room, the Production Manager, who has in the past believed that the Computer Guy has something of a thing for her, corners Jesse & asks about the investigation into the hacking. The Production Manager has not been included in the investigation by the Chief Financial Officer because many of the leaked documents show her in a favorable light toward the employees - defending popular projects, authorizing overtime, supporting (as Production Managers often do) her employees - & while the Chief Financial Officer does not exactly suspect her, he does not entirely trust her at this point in time.
Although the Production Manager is somewhat correct - the Computer Guy doesn't exactly have "something of a thing for her," he just enjoys looking at her breasts - she is not prepared for him to confess that he's been asked to do something unethical, if not illegal, to put the blame on the Development Officer. This gives the Production Manager an idea - & it's not one she commits to a post-it note that does not exist in the physical world.
Later, after the Production Manager has been promoted to Production Director, & the Chief Financial Officer has been suspended pending a criminal investigation, the Development Officer overhears Jesse the Computer Guy tell an intern, whose breasts he enjoys looking at, that it's not entirely true to say that things that are "on a computer," like mp3 files or text documents, "don't exist in the real world," as they are composed of physical things called "bytes," which, he points out, used to be kept on very tangible items like floppy discs, & which now need to be stored on a "hard drive" inside the computer.
The Development Officer suddenly suspect the Computer Guy of hacking his own system &, although she can't understand why he'd do such a thing - he didn't benefit in any way from the episode - she still tells her suspicions - in person - to the new Production Director & the interim Chief Financial Officer.
Monday, April 09, 2012
Come To My Church (Show)
Two things to be aware of about this show: first, I plan my shows some time in advance & I had no idea - really - that I'd be doing a show about church the day after Easter. It's a big coincidence. & second, I think I've only been in a church for church-like business (that is to say, not sight-seeing, as at Notre Dame or a place like that) (& by church-like business, I mean, sermons or weddings or whatever) maybe twenty times in my life (if that). Nothing about churches or the business of going to church is part of my make-up - & I know some people who love church & I know some people who hate having been forced to go to church as a child. I hope the show delights the former & does not terrify the latter. & I hope my ignorance of the subject doesn't detract from the songs I play.
Churches real, imaginary, & both are explored on today's show. You can listen to the show at the Self Help Radio website. If you'd like a direct link to the shows, they are in two parts & they are here: part one, part two. I've handily listed the songs in each part so you don't have to.
The nice thing about a Self Help Radio show about church is: you don't have to tithe!
(part one)
"Get Me To The Church On Time" Rosemary Clooney _Rosie Solves The Swingin' Riddle_
"Church In The Wildwood" The Carter Family _Prayers From Hell: White Gospel & Sinner's Blues 1927-1940_
"The Magnificent Church" The Gargoyles _Steamflapper_
"Let The Church Roll On" Morehouse College Quartet _Atlanta, Ga. Gospel 1923-1931_
"A Little Old Church In England (with Ray Eberle & the Modernaires)" Glenn Miller _The Gold Collection_
"I Met Her In Church" The Box Tops _Soul Deep: The Best Of The Box Tops_
"Methodist Church" The Girls _Reunion_
"Meet Me In Church" Bobby Marchan _Cameo Parkway 1957-1967_
"Church Not Made With Hands" The Waterboys _A Pagan Place_
"The Church Of John Coltrane" Saint Jude's Infirmary _Happy Healthy Lucky Month_
(part two)
"The Vatican Rag" Tom Lehrer _That Was The Year That Was_
"Make Your Church Crackle & Glow (Parsley Sound Mix)" Ronnie Willhoite _The Doorkeepers: A Church Leadership Development Program For Ushers_
"Church Of The Poison Mind" The Yell Leaders _Gag Me With A Spoon: Don't Records Celebrates The 1980s_
"Cleaning A Church" George Carlin _When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?_
"Date To Church" The Replacements _All For Nothing/Nothing For All_
"To The Church" Lloyd Cole _Lloyd Cole_
"The Church On The Corner" Sound Of Six _The Church On The Corner_
"They Tore The Old Country Church Down" Goodwin Trio _Hallelujah Hoedown_
"All Seven Deadly Sins Were Committed At A Church Bake Sale" Onion Radio News _Onion Radio News_
"Waiting At The Church" Julie Andrews _Don't Go Into The Lion's Cage Tonight_
"Church Bells Blues" Luke Jordan _Broke, Black & Blue, Vol. 1: Up Country Blues_
"Church, I'm Fully Saved Today" Blind Willie Johnson with Willie B. Harris _Dark Was The Night (1927-1930)_
Sunday, April 08, 2012
Whither Church?
It's entirely coincidental that Self Help Radio's show about church is happening after Easter Sunday.
Self Help Radio has never been to church.
This is somewhat remarkable, since Self Help Radio resides in Lexington, & Lexington is a city of churches.
This website counts 382 churches in Lexington. That's a church for every 700 or so people.
Don't try to find out which city has the most churches per capita in the world online. There are lots of competing answers. Plus quibbles about the question.
Though the city of Wheaton, Illinois, gets the honor, according to the game Trivial Pursuit.
Here's something I didn't know: Garland, Texas, which is my hometown, & has a population of around 220,000 people (60,000 less than Lexington), has apparently more than 500 churches.
That simply can't be true.
There might be more overt religiosity in Garland (& all of Texas) but I can't imagine there'd be so many churches.
I could be wrong, though.
Churches real & imaginary will be discussed & sang about tomorrow morning on Self Help Radio's show about churches. No tithing necessary! In Lexington (near any church) on 88.1 fm or online at WRFL dot fm. The audio stream is right here. The show will be archived later in the holy sanctuary at self help radio dot net.
As Mike Birbiglia said, "This week it's Good Friday, Holy Saturday, Easter Sunday, then Fuckin' Monday."
Self Help Radio has never been to church.
This is somewhat remarkable, since Self Help Radio resides in Lexington, & Lexington is a city of churches.
This website counts 382 churches in Lexington. That's a church for every 700 or so people.
Don't try to find out which city has the most churches per capita in the world online. There are lots of competing answers. Plus quibbles about the question.
Though the city of Wheaton, Illinois, gets the honor, according to the game Trivial Pursuit.
Here's something I didn't know: Garland, Texas, which is my hometown, & has a population of around 220,000 people (60,000 less than Lexington), has apparently more than 500 churches.
That simply can't be true.
There might be more overt religiosity in Garland (& all of Texas) but I can't imagine there'd be so many churches.
I could be wrong, though.
Churches real & imaginary will be discussed & sang about tomorrow morning on Self Help Radio's show about churches. No tithing necessary! In Lexington (near any church) on 88.1 fm or online at WRFL dot fm. The audio stream is right here. The show will be archived later in the holy sanctuary at self help radio dot net.
As Mike Birbiglia said, "This week it's Good Friday, Holy Saturday, Easter Sunday, then Fuckin' Monday."
Saturday, April 07, 2012
Preface To Church: What Comes Between Good Friday & Easter Sunday?
Apparently it's called Holy Saturday. That's a little disappointing, although it shouldn't be - after all, "Good Friday" is a little underwhelming as a name for a religious holiday. Often people will say things like, "Have a good Friday!" & they're certainly not suggesting that you celebrate the crucifixion of a religious figure.
However, one of the more interesting stories about Holy Saturday is that Jesus - who was of course at that point quite dead - literally goes to hell.
Don't take that the wrong way! He went there of his own accord & just to free the heroes of the Old Testament, from Adam & Eve on up. The implication - & if you weren't ever taught this, you're probably not Catholic - was that, before Jesus' death, everyone went to hell. Noah was in hell. Moses was in hell.
But Jesus only brings people from the Old Testament to heaven. Great humans of pagan faiths have to stay there. & probably no one explain to Socrates, say, why his old chess buddy Solomon just disappeared one day. Unless maybe Satan told them later, just to fuck with them.
It makes you wonder - did Jesus have that planned all along? Or did he think, right after his death, "Oh I know what I can do!" & though there's any real consensus on the subject - most Protestants utterly reject the notion, since there's nothing really in scripture about it - it's impressive how much Jesus got done on a day that for the most part he could have just taken it easy.
Did you get as much done today?
However, one of the more interesting stories about Holy Saturday is that Jesus - who was of course at that point quite dead - literally goes to hell.
Don't take that the wrong way! He went there of his own accord & just to free the heroes of the Old Testament, from Adam & Eve on up. The implication - & if you weren't ever taught this, you're probably not Catholic - was that, before Jesus' death, everyone went to hell. Noah was in hell. Moses was in hell.
But Jesus only brings people from the Old Testament to heaven. Great humans of pagan faiths have to stay there. & probably no one explain to Socrates, say, why his old chess buddy Solomon just disappeared one day. Unless maybe Satan told them later, just to fuck with them.
It makes you wonder - did Jesus have that planned all along? Or did he think, right after his death, "Oh I know what I can do!" & though there's any real consensus on the subject - most Protestants utterly reject the notion, since there's nothing really in scripture about it - it's impressive how much Jesus got done on a day that for the most part he could have just taken it easy.
Did you get as much done today?
Friday, April 06, 2012
Saccades
"We cannot consciously control the speed of movement between stops & during each saccade, the eyes move as fast as they can."
That's from here.
The more we learn about ourselves, the more we discover we are less & less the overt controllers of our lives & thoughts.
This reminds me of a conversation I had over twenty years ago with a girlfriend & one of her girlfriends & that girlfriend's boyfriend. I'll call them Betty, Veronica & Reggie. I am as always Jughead.
Reggie was going on & on about something something Ayn Rand something. He was a bit of a self-important douche & I had had little or no experience with Randianism at the time so when he praised "logic" & "rationality," I thought he was more or less on my side. At least he didn't go on & on about the virtues of being selfish. He was talking & he made some comment about emotions being chemical.
The two women with us gasped. "Do you really believe that?" Betty said. (Yes, my Betty.) Reggie said sure, probably glad to have the chance to debate something, since none of us really cared to interrupt his monologue. She then turned to me & said, "Jughead, do you believe our emotions are chemicals?"
I was put in a difficult situation. I am pretty much a materialist & have rarely, if ever, seriously entertained supernatural explanations for anything. But I was being stared at a woman I loved who was asking a loaded question: DID I REALLY BELIEVE THIS CODSWALLOP? DO I DARE TO LOVE SOMEONE WHO THINKS SO LITTLE OF EMOTIONS?
Interestingly, I don't remember how I responded. It didn't end the relationship at that time. When I remember it, I curse myself for not asking the more serious question in response, which is this: "If our emotions are not chemical, what are they?"
There's some irony in getting emotional about being confronted with the material nature of emotions. As a species, we're the only living things on this planet that use the results of material processes - like thinking thoughts - to convince ourselves that the things that are produced by these processes are not & cannot be material. They seem more than that. To a lot of people. Like the feeling of love seeming like more than a chemical process.
& meanwhile, "Saccades are the fastest movements produced by the human body."
That's from here.
The more we learn about ourselves, the more we discover we are less & less the overt controllers of our lives & thoughts.
This reminds me of a conversation I had over twenty years ago with a girlfriend & one of her girlfriends & that girlfriend's boyfriend. I'll call them Betty, Veronica & Reggie. I am as always Jughead.
Reggie was going on & on about something something Ayn Rand something. He was a bit of a self-important douche & I had had little or no experience with Randianism at the time so when he praised "logic" & "rationality," I thought he was more or less on my side. At least he didn't go on & on about the virtues of being selfish. He was talking & he made some comment about emotions being chemical.
The two women with us gasped. "Do you really believe that?" Betty said. (Yes, my Betty.) Reggie said sure, probably glad to have the chance to debate something, since none of us really cared to interrupt his monologue. She then turned to me & said, "Jughead, do you believe our emotions are chemicals?"
I was put in a difficult situation. I am pretty much a materialist & have rarely, if ever, seriously entertained supernatural explanations for anything. But I was being stared at a woman I loved who was asking a loaded question: DID I REALLY BELIEVE THIS CODSWALLOP? DO I DARE TO LOVE SOMEONE WHO THINKS SO LITTLE OF EMOTIONS?
Interestingly, I don't remember how I responded. It didn't end the relationship at that time. When I remember it, I curse myself for not asking the more serious question in response, which is this: "If our emotions are not chemical, what are they?"
There's some irony in getting emotional about being confronted with the material nature of emotions. As a species, we're the only living things on this planet that use the results of material processes - like thinking thoughts - to convince ourselves that the things that are produced by these processes are not & cannot be material. They seem more than that. To a lot of people. Like the feeling of love seeming like more than a chemical process.
& meanwhile, "Saccades are the fastest movements produced by the human body."
Thursday, April 05, 2012
Birthday Dog!
Our old man George turns 14 today! According to this website, that makes him the equivalent of 82 human years old. This website says that he's actually closer to 69 human years old. (It also says that I am seven & three-quarters dog years old. It's so tragic when a child is older than a parent.) One more: this website suggests George is closer to 72 human years old.
Besides being a bit obdurate (which he's always been) & whiny (ditto) & a little deaf (though I might be mistaking that for him generally not giving a shit), he generally acts like he's half his age. Last night, for example, when we got home from seeing the Spooky Qs, he danced around the house like an idiot. I'm surprised he didn't hurt himself.
I wrote about George a few Thursdays ago. He is a terribly sweet dog who likes to be around me, which is fine by me: I like being around him!
Monday, April 02, 2012
100% Cotton Show
Cotton! Cotton everywhere! Hey! I did something on this episode of Self Help Radio I either have never done or may have done only once: I played all the songs in (more or less) chronological order. (I say more of less because I looked up the years but didn't really care about the month & day, so, for example, the songs from 1929 may be out of order.) How did it go? You tell me!
All the cotton pickin' songs I played are listed below. The show is divided into two parts & much easier to pick & sort than cotton. Part one is behind that link. Part two is behind this one. The entire show (& many other shows just sitting there hoping you'll visit) is over at the Self Help Radio web page.
(part one)
"Land Of Cotton Blues" Lucille Hegamin _The Ladies In Blues_
"Cotton Field Blues" Charlie 'Dad' Nelson _The Paramount Masters_
"Cotton Field Blues" Henry Thomas _The Easin' In: Essential Recordings Of Texas Blues_
"Make My Cot Where The Cot-Cot-Cotton Grows" Red Nichols' Stompers _That's What I Call Sweet Music: American Dance Orchestras Of The 1920s_
"Song From A Cotton Field" Bessie Brown _Down In The Basement: Joe Bussard's Treasure Trove Of Vintage 78s: 1926-1937_
"Mississippi Boweavil Blues" Charley Patton _The Complete Recordings 1929-34_
"Cotton Mill Blues" Wilmer Watts _1929_
"Price Of Cotton Blues" The Allen Brothers _The Complete Recordings Vol.1 1927-1930_
"Cotton Mill Blues" Lee Brothers Trio _Hard Time In The Country_
"Serves 'Em Fine (Cotton Mill Colic No. 3)" Dave & Howard _Black & White Hillbilly Music: Early Harmonica Recordings 1920-30's_
"11 Cent Cotton, 40 Cent Meat" Bob's Boys (Bob Miller) _Songs For Political Action: Folkmusic, Topical Songs, & The American Left 1926-1953_
"Cotton Mill Blues" Daddy John Love _Oh My Little Darling_
(part two)
"Floatin' Down To Cotton Town" Fats Waller _1936_
"Cotton Patch Blues" Tommy McClennan _Big Joe Williams & The Stars Of Mississippi Blues_
"Cotton Eyed Joe" Adolf Hofner & His San Antonians _Roots 'N' Blues: The Retrospective (1925-1950)_
"Cotton Pickin' Blues" Robert Petway _Broadcasting The Blues: Black Blues In The Segregation Era_
"Pick A Bale Of Cotton" Sonny Terry & Brownie McGhee _Blowin' The Fuses_
"Boll Weevil" Lead Belly _Sings For Children_
"Old Cotton Fields At Home" Odetta & Larry _The Tin Angel_
"Cotton Picking Hands" The Dukes _Lost Dreams: The New Orleans Vocal Groups_
"Cotton Picker" Wortham Watts _The 'D' Singles Collection Vol. 1_
"Cotton Head" Leon Peels _It Don't Mean A Thing If It Ain't Got That Beat!_
"California Cottonfields" Merle Haggard _Down Every Road: 1962 - 1994_
"Mississippi Cotton Picking Delta Town" Charley Pride _Country_
"The Backbone Of America Is A Mule & Cotton" Abner Jay _The Backbone Of America Is A Mule & Cotton_
Sunday, April 01, 2012
Whither Cotton?
TEACH YOURSELF ABOUT COTTON.
Cotton is not, as one might think, a terrifying metal which can "learn" from those it maims or kills. The American Cotton Industry has made this very clear through an ingenious if not desperate series of advertisements on television & the radio. Also fat people wearing sandwich boards, although that was just as a tax write-off.
Cotton is also not "home to a race of mildly intelligent, though small, horticulturists" to which it is rumored that 30% of the male population is allergic. Widespread fear of horticulturists who are not necessarily clever but still rather competent continues after the Home Garden panic of the 1990s but this canard, which haunts tee shirt manufacturers everywhere, continues to be passed on as knowledge wherever garden tools are sold.
Cotton will never "come between you & your man." The last time cotton caused such a fuss became the American Civil War & it still feels really awful about it. So if you are a person who enjoys a close relationship with a man but have some insecurities, it is vehemently not cotton you should be worrying about. Have you taken a look at devious old fleece lately?
Finally, cotton does not want nor should it ever be a controlled substance. People who delight in growing cotton in secretive places - like hydroponically, or in secret sections of National Parks - need to be aware that it is perfectly legal to grow cotton anywhere. Sure, cotton has the classic "bad boy" image, but that's just a character it played in angsty teen dramas. People associating with cotton for its illicit qualities are totally missing out on naughtier plants.
TEACH YOURSELF ABOUT COTTON.
Listen to Self Help Radio's show about cotton, which will be on the air Monday (April 2nd) from 7:30 to 9 am on 88.1 fm WRFL Lexington & online at WRFL dot FM. There is a direct link to the audio stream & this is it.
For those of you who move at slower, more cotton-like, pace, the show will be archived sometime later at the Self Help Radio website.
SERIOUSLY, TEACH YOURSELF ABOUT COTTON ALREADY.
Cotton is not, as one might think, a terrifying metal which can "learn" from those it maims or kills. The American Cotton Industry has made this very clear through an ingenious if not desperate series of advertisements on television & the radio. Also fat people wearing sandwich boards, although that was just as a tax write-off.
Cotton is also not "home to a race of mildly intelligent, though small, horticulturists" to which it is rumored that 30% of the male population is allergic. Widespread fear of horticulturists who are not necessarily clever but still rather competent continues after the Home Garden panic of the 1990s but this canard, which haunts tee shirt manufacturers everywhere, continues to be passed on as knowledge wherever garden tools are sold.
Cotton will never "come between you & your man." The last time cotton caused such a fuss became the American Civil War & it still feels really awful about it. So if you are a person who enjoys a close relationship with a man but have some insecurities, it is vehemently not cotton you should be worrying about. Have you taken a look at devious old fleece lately?
Finally, cotton does not want nor should it ever be a controlled substance. People who delight in growing cotton in secretive places - like hydroponically, or in secret sections of National Parks - need to be aware that it is perfectly legal to grow cotton anywhere. Sure, cotton has the classic "bad boy" image, but that's just a character it played in angsty teen dramas. People associating with cotton for its illicit qualities are totally missing out on naughtier plants.
TEACH YOURSELF ABOUT COTTON.
Listen to Self Help Radio's show about cotton, which will be on the air Monday (April 2nd) from 7:30 to 9 am on 88.1 fm WRFL Lexington & online at WRFL dot FM. There is a direct link to the audio stream & this is it.
For those of you who move at slower, more cotton-like, pace, the show will be archived sometime later at the Self Help Radio website.
SERIOUSLY, TEACH YOURSELF ABOUT COTTON ALREADY.
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Preface To Cotton: Cotton-Eyed
What the hell does "cotton-eyed" mean? No one can decide.
The term, which was popularized in the song "Cotton-Eyed Joe," isn't really explained in the song. Joe is "cotton-eyed," but that's just an identifying physical characteristic, as if someone said "big-eared Joe," or "black-haired Joe." Or is it even more descriptive?
One definition is someone who's so drunk you see the whites of their eyes prominently. In this case, it perhaps is synonymous with "wide-eyed," although I don't get that way when I'm drunk.
A related meaning is what apparently happens when you drink wood alcohol, which, sources say, turns your eyes milky white. In addition, others believe that it's what your eyes look like when you have glaucoma or cataracts.
According to the Random House Dictionary of Popular American Slang, the term refers to someone with prominent eye-whites.
But I can't shake the feeling that the term is racist - that it refers specifically to black folks. If you've seen pictures of blackfaced minstrels, you understand that a prominent caricature of African-Americans in those unhappy days was that their eyes seemed very white & very large in contrast to their skin. & it seems pretty obvious - especially from the old lyrics - that Joe in the song was black.
Self Help Radio's show about cotton will probably feature one version of "Cotton-Eyed Joe" - how could it not? But even though there is no consensus about the term's meaning, I am still made a little queasy by the term. The song's popularity waned in the late 20th century - everywhere but in the South, where it's still quite popular.
But also where there are still lots of racists. You know?
The term, which was popularized in the song "Cotton-Eyed Joe," isn't really explained in the song. Joe is "cotton-eyed," but that's just an identifying physical characteristic, as if someone said "big-eared Joe," or "black-haired Joe." Or is it even more descriptive?
One definition is someone who's so drunk you see the whites of their eyes prominently. In this case, it perhaps is synonymous with "wide-eyed," although I don't get that way when I'm drunk.
A related meaning is what apparently happens when you drink wood alcohol, which, sources say, turns your eyes milky white. In addition, others believe that it's what your eyes look like when you have glaucoma or cataracts.
According to the Random House Dictionary of Popular American Slang, the term refers to someone with prominent eye-whites.
But I can't shake the feeling that the term is racist - that it refers specifically to black folks. If you've seen pictures of blackfaced minstrels, you understand that a prominent caricature of African-Americans in those unhappy days was that their eyes seemed very white & very large in contrast to their skin. & it seems pretty obvious - especially from the old lyrics - that Joe in the song was black.
Self Help Radio's show about cotton will probably feature one version of "Cotton-Eyed Joe" - how could it not? But even though there is no consensus about the term's meaning, I am still made a little queasy by the term. The song's popularity waned in the late 20th century - everywhere but in the South, where it's still quite popular.
But also where there are still lots of racists. You know?
Friday, March 30, 2012
I just received this email
(I have edited it to protect the innocent. Or guilty.)
The email reads:
Hi,
I'm interested in contributing an article to selfhelpradio.net - The article will be unique and interesting to read. In return, I ask that I be able to subtly include a link to my site within the article.
If you are not interested in the article, I am also willing to offer you a one time donation for a permanent link to my site in a prominent place on your website.
Hope you are having a wonderful week!
Thanks,
(deleted)
I find this fascinating, not just because this has never happened to me - it really hasn't. & I'm not such a naif that I imagined that this person has actually visited the site - there are no "articles" there, of course. I'm fascinated because the site about which he wants to write a "unique & interesting to read" article is actually just a product-oriented web page. They sell things.
For the sake of argument, let's say what they sell is hubcaps. (It's not entirely that specific, but close.) What sort of "unique & interesting to read" article is going to have a "subtle" link (not underlined?) for hubcaps in it? Would it be the only link in the article? That's not very subtle.
I'm also fascinated because this is really the first time anyone has ever offered me money to put something on the Self Help Radio website. I know that virtually no one goes to the site - & those that do are mostly looking for something else, & don't stick around to listen to my radio shows - so it makes sense no one's looking to spend money in the obscurity there. But what does that say about this dude.
I wish I were mean enough to ask for the article. It would probably be hilarious. But I am honest to a fault, & would never ask for something I had no intention of using in the first place. That's just a little too douchey.
The email reads:
Hi,
I'm interested in contributing an article to selfhelpradio.net - The article will be unique and interesting to read. In return, I ask that I be able to subtly include a link to my site within the article.
If you are not interested in the article, I am also willing to offer you a one time donation for a permanent link to my site in a prominent place on your website.
Hope you are having a wonderful week!
Thanks,
(deleted)
I find this fascinating, not just because this has never happened to me - it really hasn't. & I'm not such a naif that I imagined that this person has actually visited the site - there are no "articles" there, of course. I'm fascinated because the site about which he wants to write a "unique & interesting to read" article is actually just a product-oriented web page. They sell things.
For the sake of argument, let's say what they sell is hubcaps. (It's not entirely that specific, but close.) What sort of "unique & interesting to read" article is going to have a "subtle" link (not underlined?) for hubcaps in it? Would it be the only link in the article? That's not very subtle.
I'm also fascinated because this is really the first time anyone has ever offered me money to put something on the Self Help Radio website. I know that virtually no one goes to the site - & those that do are mostly looking for something else, & don't stick around to listen to my radio shows - so it makes sense no one's looking to spend money in the obscurity there. But what does that say about this dude.
I wish I were mean enough to ask for the article. It would probably be hilarious. But I am honest to a fault, & would never ask for something I had no intention of using in the first place. That's just a little too douchey.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Lonely Indiana Roads
I fell asleep driving through most of Indiana. In the dream I dreamt while driving the other drivers were sleeping & dreaming too. The farms, which cross carefully the nearly-empty highways, didn't have silo-space enough for the dreams of flight emanating from nearly every car.
You'd think the fields would remember all the snow, but no, there was burgeoning everywhere. It's easier to read the posted warnings when the landscape is easy on the eyes. There's no aggravation when a strange stoplight is deployed, or when the semi passing on the right ignores the sudden "Speed Limit 35" sign that's sprouted around the corner.
The polite man asks the wide-eyed woman something about cell phones. A very old woman looks confused when she sees that the ladies' rest room is out of order. We're near Ohio, & that explains: pizza for breakfast.
I asked the dozing state trooper: does everyone sleep through Indiana? He rolled over & said, "Only those like you & me, who drive alone." I looked at the gauge on his dashboard - instead of "gas" it said "marmalade." & I thought I saw lots of dogs just running around, racing along an invisible highway parallel to the one I was on.
& I drove through Indiana during the day - what must it be like at night?
You'd think the fields would remember all the snow, but no, there was burgeoning everywhere. It's easier to read the posted warnings when the landscape is easy on the eyes. There's no aggravation when a strange stoplight is deployed, or when the semi passing on the right ignores the sudden "Speed Limit 35" sign that's sprouted around the corner.
The polite man asks the wide-eyed woman something about cell phones. A very old woman looks confused when she sees that the ladies' rest room is out of order. We're near Ohio, & that explains: pizza for breakfast.
I asked the dozing state trooper: does everyone sleep through Indiana? He rolled over & said, "Only those like you & me, who drive alone." I looked at the gauge on his dashboard - instead of "gas" it said "marmalade." & I thought I saw lots of dogs just running around, racing along an invisible highway parallel to the one I was on.
& I drove through Indiana during the day - what must it be like at night?
Monday, March 26, 2012
Nothing Gold On The Radio Can Stay
A website called "Bad Money Advice" (really!) says this: "Gold is one the more peculiar investments out there. Although it is an exaggeration to say that it is a substance of no intrinsic value, it has several industrial uses & would undoubtedly have many more if it were not so expensive. Gold lacks some basic characteristics of a typical investment."
Therefore you should invest in Self Help Radio's show about gold. At no cost to you, this nearly ninety show also lacks some basic characteristics of a typical investment. It frankly also lacks some basic characteristics of a typical radio show. But didn't I say "at no cost to you"?
The gold songs are listed below. The show rests at the Self Help Radio website. It's in two parts, like two gold bars: part one is twenty-four carat & part two is twenty-four carrot.
(part one)
"Gold" Ken Nordine _Colors_
"Get The Gold" Three Peppers _1937-1940_
"Gold" Peter Blegvad _King Strut & Other Stories_
"The Ecstasy Of Gold" Ennio Morricone _The Ennio Morricone Anthology: A Fistful Of Film Music_
"It's The Gold (Ella Johnson, vocal)" Buddy Johnson _1939-1942_
"Bags Of Gold" Jay Jay Pistolet _Happy Birthday Me_
"Gold & Silver" Toots & The Maytals _Monkey Man_
"Heart Of Gold" Neil Young _Neil Young Archives, Vol. 1: 1963-1972_
"Fool's Gold" Rachel Sweet _Protect The Innocent_
"Fools Gold" Ghost Dance _Word To The Wise 12"_
"Fools Gold" Stone Roses _The Complete Stone Roses_
(part two)
"In The Gold Dust Rush" Cocteau Twins _Head Over Heels_
"Gold" False Friends _Burn The Bridges, Break The Gates_
"Good As Gold" Betty & The Werewolves _Tea Time Favourites_
"Goldrush" Champagne Riot _Moonstruck EP_
"Goldfinger" Man Or Astroman? _Return To Chaos_
"Diamonds & Gold" Tom Waits _Rain Dogs_
"The Gold Rush Is Over" Hank Snow _The Essential Hank Snow_
"Gold Is the Colour Of Thought" The Smoke _The Smoke_
"Spun Gold" The Three O'Clock _Arrive Without Travelling/Ever After_
"Gold" Harvey Korman _Americathon OST_
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Whither Gold?
Generous miser! May we partake in your plethora of gold?
There are too many of you, mouth to feed! There is a finite supply of gold!
Oh healthy miner! That dear metal is so lovely to behold!
Like a dragon I shall guard my hoard. You hordes shall ever look but never touch!
Kind sir, kind sir, this air, it's full of gold dust, can we just breathe a little in?
Think you me a Rumple nor a Stiltskin? What is hard fought is hard won!
Dear familiar stranger, deny us not the luster of that soft, soft aurum!
Oh all right. Form a line at the right. No licking!
-----
The preceding parable was found many times in antiquity. It was then conveniently lost many other times.
-----
For scholastic purposes, this ancient dialogue should be read by a monk with a raspy voice. Whenever possible, the part of the inquisitor (known in some academic circles as "the mob") should be read by Dan Castellaneta, the voice of television's "Homer Simpson."
-----
The meaning of this so-called "poem" has been the basis of several unimpressive scholarly careers & even (it is rumored) one tenure, &, as might be expected, there is no consensus on the actual point of the dialogue. Why does the flattering interlocutor & the group he perhaps represents want so desperately to visit the hoarder's gold stash, besides, you know, the obvious? Why doesn't the wealthy grump employ some armed musclemen to beat back the grasping group, like rich people have done throughout history? Is this some sort of allegory or something? Use the back of the piece of paper if necessary. You are not allowed to use your texts.
-----
One famous "commentary" on this literary scrap will air on the morning of Monday, March 26, on a radio station called WRFL in Lexington, Kentucky, which, it must be noted, is roughly one hundred miles from Fort Knox, where the majority of United States gold is kept. You can listen to that show from 7:30 to 9am Eastern time on 88.1 fm in the Lexington area or anywhere if you follow this audio link. The show will be archived, reportedly, online at some site called Self Help Radio although that is not a reputable educational journal site so make sure you are wearing your spam pants.
There are too many of you, mouth to feed! There is a finite supply of gold!
Oh healthy miner! That dear metal is so lovely to behold!
Like a dragon I shall guard my hoard. You hordes shall ever look but never touch!
Kind sir, kind sir, this air, it's full of gold dust, can we just breathe a little in?
Think you me a Rumple nor a Stiltskin? What is hard fought is hard won!
Dear familiar stranger, deny us not the luster of that soft, soft aurum!
Oh all right. Form a line at the right. No licking!
-----
The preceding parable was found many times in antiquity. It was then conveniently lost many other times.
-----
For scholastic purposes, this ancient dialogue should be read by a monk with a raspy voice. Whenever possible, the part of the inquisitor (known in some academic circles as "the mob") should be read by Dan Castellaneta, the voice of television's "Homer Simpson."
-----
The meaning of this so-called "poem" has been the basis of several unimpressive scholarly careers & even (it is rumored) one tenure, &, as might be expected, there is no consensus on the actual point of the dialogue. Why does the flattering interlocutor & the group he perhaps represents want so desperately to visit the hoarder's gold stash, besides, you know, the obvious? Why doesn't the wealthy grump employ some armed musclemen to beat back the grasping group, like rich people have done throughout history? Is this some sort of allegory or something? Use the back of the piece of paper if necessary. You are not allowed to use your texts.
-----
One famous "commentary" on this literary scrap will air on the morning of Monday, March 26, on a radio station called WRFL in Lexington, Kentucky, which, it must be noted, is roughly one hundred miles from Fort Knox, where the majority of United States gold is kept. You can listen to that show from 7:30 to 9am Eastern time on 88.1 fm in the Lexington area or anywhere if you follow this audio link. The show will be archived, reportedly, online at some site called Self Help Radio although that is not a reputable educational journal site so make sure you are wearing your spam pants.
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Preface To Gold: Fools & Their Gold
On returning to the Gold Standard, a free verse poem (as told to TS Eliot)
Oh Gold Standard like Icarus we abandoned you to the Greek skies!
Must we take up arms like Hamlet or even like Hamilton
Whose duel with Burr meant his end - of life but not legend?
Does the rose not bloom in the bloomiest of months?
April needs the rain's lifeblood like our own life needs its blood blood -
Like our nation (all nations) need Gold as its golden Standard.
There is a hat every sovereign nation once wore -
Dare to wear that hat again, the Hat Of Fiscal Decorum!
The plume is the plume of Wise Hammurabi, dreaming of fairness.
Did Joyce, walking the streets of Paris, daydream about you
O Gold Standard now buried perhaps in Père Lachaise next to Collette
Or Jim Morrison who - it is said - once consumed an entire bar of Gold.
To fervently want Gold returned as a Standard too long slandered
We need Miss Manners to rap our knuckles for digging in infertile dirt
Like swords beaten into plowshares unshared with a hungry world.
So we close our eyes like blind Homer but see a better time -
A time when we like great Croesus manhandling great Midas can laugh -
Saved! Once again, the Gold Standard is in love with us!
Oh Gold Standard like Icarus we abandoned you to the Greek skies!
Must we take up arms like Hamlet or even like Hamilton
Whose duel with Burr meant his end - of life but not legend?
Does the rose not bloom in the bloomiest of months?
April needs the rain's lifeblood like our own life needs its blood blood -
Like our nation (all nations) need Gold as its golden Standard.
There is a hat every sovereign nation once wore -
Dare to wear that hat again, the Hat Of Fiscal Decorum!
The plume is the plume of Wise Hammurabi, dreaming of fairness.
Did Joyce, walking the streets of Paris, daydream about you
O Gold Standard now buried perhaps in Père Lachaise next to Collette
Or Jim Morrison who - it is said - once consumed an entire bar of Gold.
To fervently want Gold returned as a Standard too long slandered
We need Miss Manners to rap our knuckles for digging in infertile dirt
Like swords beaten into plowshares unshared with a hungry world.
So we close our eyes like blind Homer but see a better time -
A time when we like great Croesus manhandling great Midas can laugh -
Saved! Once again, the Gold Standard is in love with us!
Friday, March 23, 2012
It's National Puppy Day!
National Puppy Day dot Com
Did you celebrate your puppy today? Mine celebrated in the way they normally do:
Did you celebrate your puppy today? Mine celebrated in the way they normally do:
Thursday, March 22, 2012
I Don't Know Why The I Don't Know Show Is Being Posted On A Thursday
I just don't know. Really, I don't know. I don't... I don't know. You know?
I do know this show, which apparently doesn't know anything, is available on the Self Help Radio website if you want to listen. I don't know what you want. Part one of the show is here, & part two is here. I don't know how else I can explain it to you. What's in each part is below, although I don't know why I'm telling you that.
I don't know if you are listening - but thanks anyway!
(part one)
"I Don't Know" George Carlin _When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?_
"I Don't Know" Willie Mabon _Chess Rhythm & Roll, 1947-1955_
"I Don't Even Know" Envelopes _Demon_
"I Don't Know If You Don't Know" Adicts _Rise & Shine_
"I Know But I Don't Know" Blondie _The Platinum Collection_
"I Don't Know" Bill Withers _Still Bill_
"Don't Know Anymore" Alex Chilton _A Man Called Destruction_
"I Don't Know" Mekons _I Heart Mekons_
"I Don't Know For Sure" Hüsker Dü _Candy Apple Grey_
"I Don't Know Why" Eden Kane _Dreamboats & Petticoats, Vol. 4_
"I Don't Know Why" Stevie Wonder _At The Close Of A Century_
"I Don't Know Why (I Just Do)" Jack Mudurian _Downloading The Repetoire_
"I Don't Know Why" The Iguanas _A Journey To Tyme, Vol. 3_
(part two)
"I Don't Know Why I Love You" House Of Love _House Of Love_
"I Don't Know" Smack Dab _Queen Crab_
"I Don't Know What To Say" The Magnetic Fields _Realism_
"I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself" Elvis Costello _My Aim Is True_
"I Don't Know What To Do With My Life" The Buzzcocks _Operators Manual_
"What I Don't Know" Betty Lavette _Bluesoul Belles_
"I Don't Know What It Is, But I Like It" Varetta Dillard _The Lovin' Bird: Complete Recordings 1958 - 1961, Vol. 2_
"I Don't Know" Bob Hope _The Sound Of Leamington Spa, Vol. 2_
"I Don't Know" Embellish _Moshi Moshi (Pop International Style)_
"I Really Don't Know" The Cat's Miaow _A Kiss & A Cuddle_
"Don't Know How You Do It" Imperial Teen _Feel The Sound_
"Don't Know How To Say Goodbye" Pigeon Detectives _Wait For Me_
"If You're Not Here (I Don't Know Where You Are)" Hunx & His Punx _Too Young To Be In Love_
"I Don't Know Which Way To Turn" Felt _Ignite The Seven Cannons_
Monday, March 19, 2012
A Show A Week Late? That's Not Groovy!
Boy is this being posted late. Hey man, I don't dig the vibe. I am inhabiting my own space right now & totally don't need your negativity holding me hostile. A radio show is like a good time, man. You can't make it happen on a schedule, you know? Far out.
That's as hippie as I can get. I hope there's some groovy in you because there's a hell of a lot in this show, which is available on the Self Help Radio website. You can also listen to the first part of the show here & then the second part of the show here. Or you can listen to them the other way around. Or just one or the other. There is a list of the songs in each part below.
As always, thanks for listening!
(part one)
"Groovy" Groovers _Las Vegas Grind, Vol. 1_
"Groovy Time" Blochin 81 _Review III (Marsh-Marigold)_
"Everything's Groovy" Gaye Bykers On Acid _Everything Groovy_
"Groovy" Johnny Moore's Three Blazers _Charles Brown 1944-1945_
"A Groovy Kind Of Love" Diane & Annita _You Heard It Here First, Vol. 1_
"The 59th Street Bridge Song (Feelin' Groovy)" The Free Design _Kites Are Fun_
"Groovy Tuesday" Swan Dive _Swan Dive_
"Every Groovy Day" Roman Rebellion _Every Groovy Day_
"You're A Stone Groovy Thing" Ruth Brown _Sister Funk_
"Groovy Situation" Gene Chandler _Nothing Can Stop Me: Gene Chandler's Greatest Hits_
"Groovy Situation" Keith Rowe _Lee Scratch Perry: Arkology_
"Groovy Tune" Silly Pillows _New Affection_
(part two)
"Your Groovy Self" Nancy Sinatra _Speedway_
"Groovy People" Lou Rawls _All Things In Time_
"That's Groovy" The Classic Example _The Classic Example_
"Groovy Little Pizza" Charles Edward Cheese Band _Let's Eat Pizza_
"The Grooviest Girl In The World" The Fun & Games _Elephant Candy_
"Groovy Girls Make Love At The Beach" Gary Wilson _You Think You Really Know Me_
"Groovy Little Woman" Wilson Pickett _Funky Midnight Mover: The Atlantic Studio Recordings (1962-1978)_
"The Weddin' March (I Feel Groovy)" Friend & Lover _Reach Out Of The Darkness_
"Groovy Times" The Clash _Clash On Broadway_
"(If You Think You're) Groovy" The Small Faces _The Immediate Anthology_
"Groovy Heart Attack" The Hit Parade _More Pop Songs_
"Wouldn't That Be Groovy" Doris _Did You Give The World Some Love Today Baby_
"Workin' On A Groovy Thing" The Fifth Dimension _The Very Best Of The 5th Dimension_
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Whither I Don't Know?
I know exactly why I am doing a show about not knowing. Although the more I think about it, "not knowing" is not quite the same as saying "I don't know." "Not knowing" is the condition you're in when you realize you don't know.
I was bluffing there. I don't know why I am doing a show about I don't know. I don't even know if I'm going to be doing the show tomorrow. I suspect I will. But I can't really be sure.
You don't know, either, but I don't care about that. I care only that I don't know. But to satisfy your skepticism you can tune in, tomorrow, at 7:30 am, on 88.1 fm WRFL in Lexington. Or you can listen online live from anywhere at the WRFL website - the audio link is right here.
I will put the show on the Self Help Radio website when I can - I was out of town this week so I still haven't put last week's show there - don't hassle me!
I will only say that I don't know when I'll put them there - oh but I will put those shows up sometime after tomorrow morning.
Will you listen? Honestly, I don't know.
I was bluffing there. I don't know why I am doing a show about I don't know. I don't even know if I'm going to be doing the show tomorrow. I suspect I will. But I can't really be sure.
You don't know, either, but I don't care about that. I care only that I don't know. But to satisfy your skepticism you can tune in, tomorrow, at 7:30 am, on 88.1 fm WRFL in Lexington. Or you can listen online live from anywhere at the WRFL website - the audio link is right here.
I will put the show on the Self Help Radio website when I can - I was out of town this week so I still haven't put last week's show there - don't hassle me!
I will only say that I don't know when I'll put them there - oh but I will put those shows up sometime after tomorrow morning.
Will you listen? Honestly, I don't know.