Fear Of Membership Drive

I know, I'm repeating myself - also, I'm repeating myself - but I can't keep from saying that KOOP, the bestest radio station in Austin & one of the last truly independent radio stations in the United States, is having its Fall Membership Drive right now. Please think about contributing. Because once you think about it, you'll want to contribute.

I am writing this mere hours (less than four) before my first Membership Drive show of the season. The title of this post doesn't mean "fear of those long, chatty weeks when a listener-sponsored radio station begs for cash." Oh no. It means "fear on the part of the programmer who has to beg their dear listeners for cash." Because it scares the bejeebies out of me. My stomach is twisting into slow knots & I occasionally feel like sitting down & catching my breath - especially when I am sitting down & breathing normally.

Oh boo hoo! you say. The dude who's got his own radio show is worried that no one will support it! Well I wish I had your problems, brother.

Boy, you're unsympathetic. The reason that I am nervous may well be based somewhat on my own ego - I do want you to love my show more than you love your pets - but more than that, I love the radio station my show is on. Not the least for being a place where a completely obsessive & utterly mush-brained fellow like myself can have a radio show.

KOOP (pronounced, in case you didn't know, either with the letters spelled out - K-O-O-P - or as an alternate spelling for "cooperative" shortened - KO-OP) (& not like "coop," although sometimes one can feel mighty cooped up in there behind the mic) is a small affair, subsisting on an annual budget which is the equivalent of the same budget a commercial radio station has for booze & floozies for its Board of Directors. We broadcast at 3000 watts & over the Internet, & we compete in the Austin market & with every other Internet radio station in the world. We get some money from underwriting by local businesses, & some from grants, but the majority of the day-to-day expenses we have are paid by the two Membership Drives we have per year.

My show is ninety minutes long. That's a small fraction of the time we're on the air - KOOP has some seventy programs - but I want to be able to pull my own weight financially. That's a lot of pressure for a guy who's probably already in the short queue for "Young Heart Attack &/or Stroke."

In addition, I confess I am a terrible salesperson. I always have been. Willy Loman could run circles around me. I've known this since middle school when, in 8th grade, for a National Honor Club type of organization, I refused to sell M&M's to raise money for the organization. Which took a lot of stones for my 13 year old self. I was a shy kid, mostly terrified of the world, but knew deep in my heart that I couldn't sell drugs to a junkie, & stood up for myself. The teacher sponsors, of course, beat me up & took my lunch money as payment.

But it should be easier - shouldn't it? - since I'll be doing what I'm always doing - playing great music & blabbing on the radio. I'm still nervous before a show - 12 years on - anyway. But it somehow isn't. No, I'm not crying. Shut up.

Don't feel sorry for me, laying out my insecurities on my obscure blog. I'm just letting you know: it may be tough for you, with your budget & the number of non-profits vying for your support, to decide to give money to a tiny radio station. I appreciate that. But since the programmers at stations like KOOP are real human beings, not Clear Channel-brand corporate music robots, we have some jitters too. Do with that knowledge what you will.

I'm going to go throw up now.