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Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Preface To Michigan: What's So Great About Your Lakes?

I've never been to Michigan. Never even drove through. The closest I've been is Chicago. So why do a show about Michigan? Oh, wait. I'll answer that tomorrow.

Here's some fun facts about Michigan:

* It's the one state in the United States that didn't finish high school, but skipped a grade in elementary school.
* Michigan's name comes from a foreign word meaning something appropriate to the state.
* 1 in 4 people in Michigan have appeared (whether they like it or not) in a Michael Moore film.
* Super stuntman Elvis Knelvis once tried to jump Michigan in a motor boat. He sped west from Lake Huron into Saginaw Bay & tore up a three-mile-long ramp southwesterly, hoping to land in Lake Michigan outside Holland. Instead, his boat capsized & he was eaten by an electric eel.
* The Michigan-Ohio border is heavily fortified, but no one really knows why. Some blame it on Motown.
* No American president has ever come from Michigan. Gerald Ford claimed to be from Michigan, but, as his untimely death revealed earlier this year, he was an imaginary president.
* People from Michigan are called Michiganians, Michiganders, Michigeese, Michiganites, Michigolliwogs, or Jeff.
* Porcupine Mountains State Park is a totally cool place to hook up with your squeeze & to score some killer local weed. Go to the Park Ranger Station & ask for Canada Joe. If possible, bring a trinket. He collects commemorative spoons. He'll totally set you up.
* Michigan has more lighthouses that any other state, except perhaps Utah. Just think about it, it makes sense.
* There is a place called Podunk, Michigan. My brother said I was making it up but I wasn't. I also wasn't making up Timbuktu so stop being a baby & come look at this map. Mom!

Did you want to hear a "Song Of The Day"? Here's one that has almost nothing to do with Michigan, except that it's about a popular pasttime in Dearborn. It's from a compilation called Dirtnap Across The Northwest, which is a rock/indie rock/punk/garage kind of comp. "Dirtnap" is an anagram of "Dr. Paint." I just noticed that. Anyway, the song is by the Exploding Hearts & it's called Sniffin' Glue. Click to sniff. Do it before April 3, 2007. Then it goes away.

Tomorrow: why sniffing glue is an epidemic in Michigan, & how that led an intrepid deejay to focus on it on a special Self Help Radio profile!

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