Hello, diligent workers. Do not be alarmed. This is not a drill. Arms outstretched, make sure you have a widow's space between you. I won't imagine you're talking today.
We called everyone in the factory floor to discuss hand-holding & other deviance within the ranks. Surely this must be opposed. What would your guardian angel think? I believe we hold each other responsible in this manner.
Further, the management would like to interest everyone. This is not nearly as energetic as one might suppose. As an example, let us bring out our top of the line. You see? Everyone here had a hand or foot in that.
As the morning turns to day, assuredly does the bone turn to fossil. We live ever so quirkily on a shifting conveyor belt of duty & responsibility. The alcohol takes what the Lord gives away. You know this.
Why then complicate the abject with the objectification of your fellow worker? Must we make stuffy government write the rules for us? They already have your dental records & your pet's DNA.
As management's eyes in the showroom & the restroom, we only want to stress what we have received on company letterhead: do not make us come down there & scold you. Let go of each other & hold hands with work!
You may take a few breaths before you return to your assigned tasks. We will not speak of this again. Tissues are being handed out by your supervisors. I think I got something in my eye. Excuse me.
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