I was going to call this post "You phone-fuck like a faggot," because I was incautiously listening to the Kathy McGinty pranks at work today, but I thought you might get offended. So I won't. I don't even know what it means. I would think, actually, that homosexual men, being generally more sexually experimental than I am (& I am for the purpose of this useless conversation a representative of heterosexual men all throughout the world & time), would probably phone-fuck much better than I could or do (& I don't really phone-fuck) (I never have, actually), & therefore the comment is kind of a compliment. Unless you're offended by the word "faggot." I don't mean to use the word to offend, but in the world today, most people don't really care about intent. Words are scary. They get people angry. Some people would prefer you not even use some of them.
My own opinion is that context is everything. It's like an episode of a cop show where a hero cop is being accused of being corrupt or sexually assaulting someone or something, & the cop's superior says, "Well I've known Officer Blah for twenty years & he's never been accused of this, & so I doubt this accusation has merit." That makes total sense to me. Why jump to conclusions? Why not stand by your friends & colleagues? But most of the time people assume bad things. I think it's because we're insecure & believe even the people we're sure love us hate us. Get someone to accuse you of something awful & make sure they're able to be completely serious, & target someone you think would stand beside you through thick & thin. Nine times out of ten, only a little coaxing will make your closest friends suspect the worst about you.
No, don't do that. It's life-shattering. Instead, keep reading this blog for advice that won't be at all helpful.
I'm sure I meant to talk about something else today. But instead I feel like I've been accused of something awful, & you believe every word of it. That's what I get for dreaming of having a chest tube put in!
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