Whither Indiepop A To Z # 20?

This is hardly the time to think about it, economically-wise, & maybe it's also a little insulting to the unemployed, but how DO you quit your job gracefully? I asked a panel of nine imaginary job-quitters, just to be on the safe side. Here's what they said, almost but not quite in the order in which they said it.

Number one said, "Get out before things get really, really bad!"
When is that, I asked.
"When there's no more coffee!" number one screamed, & quit the panel. (Not very gracefully, I might add.)

Number two said, "Tell the most powerful bot first, then adhere to the hierarchical rules that were programmed into you at construction."
(I should tell you, imaginary panelist number two is a robot who hails from a planet of sentient robots. Just FYI.)

Number three said, "Burn bridges!"
Really, I asked.
"I meant britches!" number three said. "Burn those britches! You'll never get the smell out! Never!"

Number four said, "If there's an exit interview, pretend it's an interview for a role on a reality television show."
I had no comment to that.

Number five said, "Don't write a resignation letter!"
No?
"No!" number five said. "Instead, just try to act resigned all the time."

Number six said, "Tell them you'll call every day. You're not really leaving. You're just visiting your mother in Duluth."
But won't they catch on?
"No," said number six. "Lookit. They were dumb enough to hire you in the first place, yeah?"

Number seven said, "Be sexy so you can get good reference books."
Reference books?
"Sure," said number seven, "you want your boss to give you good reference books when you leave."
Uh, I think you mean references.
"Are you sure?" asked number seven.
Um, maybe I meant referees?
"That's the spirit!" said number seven.

Number eight said, "Be an asshole about it to your co-workers, who can't quit because of their gambling debts & their chronic alcoholism. Also, act like the old-timers are really old. That'll teach 'em!"
Teach them what?
"That you're an asshole!" cackled number eight.

Number nine said, "Go, my child, into the wide world, knowing full well that those for whom you worked are no longer your masters & you are no longer their slave. Instead, you are no better than a hobo, eating your own filth & earning nothing, while they, they have hired someone almost exactly like you to replace you, & scarcely know you have gone."

Thanks guys!