Teams of experts paid untold amounts of money taken surreptitiously from your pocketbooks & wallets worked "around the clock" (actually, during regular business hours with a liberal amount of smoke breaks) to determine what you, the Self Help Radio listener, would like to hear on Self Help Radio in the year of 2010 (which, as you probably know, is supposed to be pronounced "twenty-ten" not "two thousand ten" because someone said so & gave some specific reasons for it) (although the monkeys in the office are very fond of "two oh ten"). Extensive surveys were taken, phones were tapped, the pulses of America & certain parts of the world where it was considered safe were taken, many other things were done in the passive voice, to gather copious amounts of data to put in shiny new computers with embarrassingly large hard drives strangely filled after only a few days with lots of porn & illegally downloaded mp3s (although, to be fair, the porn was probably also illegally downloaded), & that data over too many to count long liquid lunches, brunches, & afternoon teas was analyzed, categorized, amortized, plagiarized, simonized, looked straight in the eyes, checked, double-checked, triple-checked with a cherry on top, & sent out to get some more booze because stocks were dwindling.
Self Help Radio is proud to announce that the data showed one particular insight that can't be ignored: no one's really listening to Self Help Radio!
So the show will continue on the same way it has since its inception. Since no one will mind.
Happy new year!
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