Whither A Million Miles?

A million is a lot of miles. It's also a lot of dollars, & tears, & dreams. But this week the concern is the million miles. Man! That's a lot of miles!

A million miles is more than a million kilometers, although it's important to point out that in a million miles there are more than a million kilometers. Whoa! I know! Didn't that make your head hurt? Ouch. I feel like watching television for three hours to calm my brain down. It's that flippin' trippy!

A million miles is so much that, unless you're an astronomer or are piloting a spacecraft, it's not a useful measure. So you probably use it as a metaphor, or a large number that expresses an impossible goal. It's nice & round. You could just as easily say "a million kilometers" (or, if you're in America, you could say "a million meters" or even "a million millimeters," because Americans have no idea what the Metric System means) but it doesn't roll off the tongue as nicely. Or how about "nine hundred ninety-seven million, three hundred ten thousand and seventeen miles"? Just as impossible to imagine, but good lord, it took me seven minutes to type that! Imagine how long it would take to say!

As usual, the police showed up at my door & made me listen to all their records & they said, "Do you have any more Honey Nut Cheerios?" I had to tell them my wife had eaten them all, but they still beat me senseless with their bras & panties. & then it was Bible reading. Oy gevalt! In any event, there's a court order about the show this week. You know how it goes.