Whither Melons?

You: Yeah, what's up with that? You don't even like melons!

Me: How... How did you know that?

You: You're very vehement in your dislike of melons. I'm sure you've mentioned it many times before.

Me: I have?

You: Doesn't that sound like something you'd do?

Me: I don't have to like the subject I pick for the show. I did a show about butchers...

You: Just to make people sick about eating meat.

Me: That's not true!

You: Are you saying you don't have an agenda?

Me: Oh, I'm sure that there are things I feel strongly about which I...

You: I bet you don't even like watermelon gum.

Me: Actually, the "melon" taste of candy is different from the taste of the fruit which...

You: I once saw you spit out a Jolly Rancher.

Me: That's a weird thing to say.

You: I think you're trying to curry some kind of favor with your wife or something.

Me: What?

You: She's always eating some kind of melon.

Me: But she doesn't even listen to the show!

You: You are a hypocrite.

Me: Me?

You: Eat this melon.

Me: No! No! I won't!

You: It's sweet & juicy & very, very ripe.

Me: No! I don't like melons!

You: You must eat this melon!

Me: Can't I just play a song about it instead?