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Friday, July 23, 2010

A Blog Reminisces: When I Was 900

Bunny, you're a weirdo. Someone asked me to write a song in the middle of dinner, so I used snatches of conversation for lines 2 & 6 & for an unusually large portion of the chorus. Then I proceeded to inform the guest panel that I, indeed, helped write the controversial lyrics for the Will Smith song which contain the profound lines, "You saw my blinker, bitch."

Is it cosplay if you dress like Donny & I dress like Marie? Someone told me the best way to enjoy ackee & saltfish is not to eat the saltfish & to compliment the ackee. No, ackee fruit is not tacky fruit. You're thinking of mangoes. What fruit have you not eaten nor heard of? There is a remarkable amount of fruit on this planet, you certainly can't have tried them all.

In Proverbs, you might read, "Pride goeth before destruction, & an haughty spirit before a fall." Then you might think "AN haughty"? That's very British. Don't the British often fail to pronounce their aitches? Like they say "ello" & "ospital" & "omoseuxal"? Then wouldn't that read, in King James English, "a naughty spirit"? Is a haughty spirit always a naughty spirit? Who's translating whom here?

Can I raise half a glass (I drank the other half already) for 900 blog posts on this worthless blog? Let me put it another way. Is it at all possible any of you never-sober Onanists - who can't be bothered to even pretend to care at this point about my self-indulgent radio flights of fancy - would mind if I made a meaningless toast to a meaningless achievement at this point in the alcoholic proceedings? If so, please, might I suggest that you venture outside to play a game of hide-&-go-fuck-yourself? If not, then, hooray! A toast to 900 entries on this blog! May the fates be kind & not make me write 900 more!

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