Whither Be My Guest?

Hello! You're here for the party, I see. I must ask: do you know the rules? The Guest Rules?

They are available all over the place, but I will freely share them with you as I freely share my home.

Rule number one: did I invite you here? I did! Was it a formal invitation? It was! Did you RSVP?

Oh, you don't know what that means. It's French, the initials for "répondez s'il vous plaît." It means, "Respond, please," or, in the colloquial, "write back, bitch!"

So, you didn't. I see. Because you didn't know.

Well, why bother with the other rules if you're not going to follow the first? Jeez, who doesn't know what RSVP means? Get out! GET OUT!

Because I can't follow the Host Rules if you're too lazy to follow the Guest Rules.

I will keep this bottle of wine you brought as well as the spinach artichoke dip. I can't stand these chips, though. Too salty. Ick.

Next time follow the Guest Rules! You've only yourself to blame!