Preface To Distance: You're So Far Away

Hey. You. Can you hear me? No? You're so far away.

I said YOU'RE SO FAR AWAY!

As I've gotten older, my voice - which admittedly got deeper - also got quieter. I don't really like to shout or yell. But I was a loud kid.

I said I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU! I'M TALKING TO MY BLOG.

I wonder why you're so far away anyway. It seems like a bad idea. Distance, distance seems so pervasive in this universe that it doesn't make any sense why people try to get so far away from one another.

Or maybe it does. For the same reasons.

I said I'M JUST TALKING TO MYSELF. IF YOU WANT TO TALK, COME OVER HERE!

Do you know, I moved from a dying little hamlet to an actual town? It is a town full of hospitals & churches & (perhaps as a result of the first two) sirens. There are sirens all the time. I have yet to witness an accident of any kind, but I hear sirens all the time. Do you know what's going on?

I said DO YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON? WAS IT AN AMBULANCE OR A FIRE ENGINE?

Oh for Pete's sake.

I used to have a dream - a nightmare really - when I was a kid & more attached to my mother - that involved me getting separated from my mother - usually on some kind of island or a cliff - where she would be on the other side - & we'd be getting farther & farther apart - it was the distance that would be so terrifying. Later on, after I kind of realized my mother was full of shit, & didn't need her any more, the dream would be just me, all alone, being aware of the vastness of everything, & I'd be separate from it all, & it would seem almost exponential the way the distance would increase. Leaving me more & more alone.

I had a similar version of that dream just the other day, but it was more about time, & it was my brain taunting me about trying to get to sleep.

I said I HAD A SIMILAR oh. You're right here now!