Whither Love Songs?

Well, I spoke too soon. It's snowing like a mothersnower out there. Gigantic flakes. It's like I'm living in a snow globe.

It's 2011, & I'm doing my annual Valentine's Day show, which I started doing during the first Valentine's Day I had Self Help Radio, which was in 2003. Eight years ago! I've had the same Valentine since then. At the time, if you had said that to me, I would've scoffed. I would've scoffed in your face!

That first show was generic. I decided that, if I were to continue doing annual shows, I should make them somewhat more specific. For example, I have specificized (that's not a word) my Halloween shows. They're not just about "Halloween," although I could do a Halloween show about Halloween, just like I could - & may yet do - a Valentine's Day show just about Valentine's Day. Not yet!

Anyway, here's a rundown of my rundown themes for my rundown Valentine's Day shows:

February 12, 2003: Valentine's Show
February 11, 2004: The LOVE Show
February 09, 2005: The HATE Show
February 00, 2006: No Valentine's Day show - no station (it had burnt down the month before)
February 09, 2007: Valentine's Day 2007 - Crushes
February 08, 2008: Valentine's Day 2008 - Jealousy
February 14, 2009: Valentine's Day 2009 - Boyfriends
February 08, 2010: Valentine's Day 2010 - Girlfriends

I did sort of do a Valentine's song show for my first Valentine's day - but it wasn't comprehensive & I call backsies.

This year's show is a Valentine's Day show about love songs. That's pretty vague, yes? Not really. There are two rules:

1) It has to be a song about love songs.
2) It has to be a love song that calls itself a love song.

For example, the song "Silly Love Songs" by Linda McCartney & Wings is the perfect example of both. It tells you it's about love songs, but also the male Linda in the band sings "Here I go, again! I love you..." to a derivative disco beat that embarrassed even Barry White at the time. I would never play that song on Self Help Radio despite the fact that Linda had once been in the Rolling Stones, her claim to fame, before she tried to kill George Harrison with a melody. Where was I?

One song I may play, in some form or another, is "Lovesong" by the Cure, which is a love song that calls itself a love song, but economizes by making it one word instead of two. I will not play "Lvsng" by the Cur, which is a love song that calls itself a love song, sort of, but economizes by making it one syllable instead of two. Also, the song is twelve seconds long. & it sounds a little too much like frogs fucking. I'm just saying.

Another song I won't play is the corny "Just An Old Fashioned Love Song" by Three Dog Night. Why not, you may ask? It's because I have three dogs & they like to sing that song every night. That, & the Jeremiah was a bullfrog song, every night, like an insane postmodern dog melody that makes every stray & feral cat in the neighborhood howl like there's blood in their stool & all they have is Bill Frist's idea of feline health care. I just couldn't in good conscience play a song like when I know so many kittens are listening.

I still haven't decided what all I'll play so you have time to write me with suggestions. & if you want a Valentine's Day present from me, you should totally 'like' the show on Facebook to keep up with what present I'll give you the day after the show, which will be before Valentine's Day, so you won't be as disappointed as last year, when all the presents I sent were eaten by the staff at every West Virginia post office which is why they're so obese & no one likes them.

We're safer in Kentucky. Unless it smells like bourbon. So I won't be sending that sort of thing.