A Joke A Day A Week, Episode Six

It was not a loquacious week for the A Joke A Day crowd. The shortest "joke" was only twenty-three words long, while the longest was thrice that at seventy-six words long - the seven "jokes" averaged thirty-six words in total, which meant they were basically either one-liners or smart-ass responses. I am not an accountant, of course, though I do take a little pride in today's America that I know basic math (when so few truly do). I also know that math may have little to do with what's funny, even if what's funny sometimes follows a formula. I merely mention this because it seemed to me that the A Joke A Day crowd were being weirdly economical with their clumsy stabs at humor this week.

Here's their shortest "joke," which was probably stolen from an ex-Saturday Night Live performer's stand-up:

You know you're getting old when your best friend tells you he's having an affair & you want to know if it's catered.

Ho hum. The others just as dull, although probably guaranteed to make the average twelve-year-old giggle.

My favorite amused me because it reminded me... Well, here, here's the joke:

A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money.

The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadn't been paid, so he asked his collections manager to leave a voice-mail for them saying, "We can't ship your new order until you pay for the last one."

The next day the collections manager received a collect phone call, "Please cancel the order. We can't wait that long."

I don't really understand the need to add the collections manager to the joke; the distributor could have easily made the phone call & streamlined it somewhat (also, since this is the longest joke of the week, it could really have brought their average down) (since it seemed like brevity was the soul of their awkward stabs at wit this week).

However, I like this joke because it reminds me of a wonderful Marx Brothers routine from Animal Crackers. The script in detail is here:

http://www.marx-brothers.org/whyaduck/info/movies/scenes/ravelli.htm

But in particular it's this exchange, with Chico being Ravelli & of course Groucho being the legendary Captain Spaulding (Mrs. Rittenhouse is Margaret Dumont):

Mrs. Rittenhouse: You are one of the musicians? But you were not due until tomorrow.
Ravelli: Couldn't come tomorrow, that's too quick.
Spaulding: Say, you're lucky they didn't come yesterday!
Ravelli: We were busy yesterday, but we charge just the same.
Spaulding: This is better than exploring! What do you fellows get an hour?
Ravelli: Oh, for playing we getta ten dollars an hour.
Spaulding: I see... What do you get for not playing?
Ravelli: Twelve dollars an hour.
Spaulding: Well, clip me off a piece of that.
Ravelli: Now, for rehearsing we make special rate. Thatsa fifteen dollars an hour.
Spaulding: That's for rehearsing?
Ravelli: Thatsa for rehearsing.
Spaulding: And what do you get for not rehearsing?
Ravelli: You couldn't afford it... Heh... You see, if we don't rehearse, we don't play... And if we don't play... That runs into money.(*)

You can see the resemblance. Chico Marx would cancel an order because he knew he couldn't wait the length of time it would take for him to pay the previous order. But, come to think of it, he'd probably find a way to get them to send him the order even though he hadn't paid. He was pretty smart for a dumb fellow.

(*) If you haven't seen the movie, you should keep reading past this. The punfest that follows is amazing.