Self Help 101: Please Remember To Put The Rice On

That's all I'm saying. It's not an impossible thing & it's not something that's going to change lives. But if you have a rice cooker & you want to make good-for-you brown rice & not that boil-in-the-bag shit that takes five minutes, make sure you put the rice in time for the meal. Otherwise, the tensions between us may make us say dumb things.

Let's say, for example, that we normally eat at 7pm. That's a good time for eating & it's something we've done all the time throughout our relationship. The rice usually takes a little under an hour. Then make sure you put the rice in the cooker at 6. It's very simple. I might not be home at 6. If I'm home, I'll remember to put the rice in the cooker. If not, it's your responsibility.

What? I'm not being condescending here! Not like you are when you remind me to put rice in the cooker. If we eat rice with, let's say, half our meals, & if I cook most of our meals, then I will always remember to put the rice on. If the situation were reversed, if it were you would more than fifty percent of the time were the cook, I would totally understand your exasperation at me forgetting to put the rice on. Or maybe I wouldn't. But I wouldn't get so defensive & call me condescending when you reminded me.

Okay, maybe I would, but can you take my word that I did not mean to be condescending & just remember to put the rice on at 6? Do you realize how long we've been talking about this? Are you aware of how long we talk about tiny little quotidian activities & hardly if all about things that are really important to us? Does that worry you? Make you nervous? Frighten you?

Oh! You put the rice on! Thanks honey!