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Saturday, May 12, 2012

Preface To Bows & Arrows: Archery & Outdoor Education

If you were a geek or a nerd or woefully out of shape (the conditions were not incompatible) & did not play any team sports (which actually counted as a "class" in my high school - & may still), you were still required to take "physical education."

This was an unhappy experience for me all through my schooling, because I was not only a geek or a nerd but also woefully out of shape (not much has changed, except I am no longer in high school).  Taking "P.E." was a requirement.  In middle school, it was just a class you went to.  But in high school it was something different.

You see, back then, you had to take classes that weren't general but particular.  I believe it was once a year but it may have been once a semester.  There wasn't a generic class where you did whatever activity the "coach" planned for you that day - you chose something you were supposed to spend the semester focusing on.

& there were three - & only three - of those kinds of classes for the geeky & nerdy & woefully out of shape.  One was called "Tennis/Bowling."  The second was "Golf/Bowling."  The third was "Archery/Outdoor Education."

I took the first two.  Due to a particularly weird choice my counselor made for me in ninth grade, I spent a semester as a "trainer" for the football team, which meant I passed my last period of the day in a field house handing towels to sweaty football players.  That would've been a sweet gig, but I was required to go to their games & practices, too, & not only was that completely unappealing, but I didn't have a reliable means of transportation at that age, so I would have to spend a long time walking home from school - we lived kinda far away - & getting home at eight or nine at night.

Anyway, here's a description of both Golf/Bowling & Tennis/Bowling: most of the time, you'd "dress out" (meaning, put on shorts & a tee shirt), do five or so minutes of "stretches" (giving the "coach" the opportunity to yell at you) & then you'd go outside to either play tennis or hit golf balls.  If it was one of the happy bowling days (probably just two weeks of the entire semester) (but a shit-ton of fun!), you kept your clothes on, boarded a bus, & went to a local bowling alley.

But whether it was Golf/Bowling or Tennis/Bowling, there was one constant: on Fridays, you ran.

They made us run (or walk, if you were woefully out of shape) a mile every Friday.  On the little track near the football & baseball fields.  Four times around.  Did the "coach" run?  Of course not.  He stood at the starting line with his whistle & his notepad & yelled at you as you went past.  Most of the time it was just a chance to hang out with friends in the class & take a walk.  But you had to run a little when you were passing the "coach" - less time for him to yell at you.

We had a joke about the classes that we'd tell people who (for whatever reason) wanted to know what you did there.  We'd say, "In Tennis/Bowling, they teach you how to run with a tennis racket & with a bowling ball.  In Golf/Bowling, you also learn how to run with a golf club.  In Archery/Outdoor Education, you learn to run with a bow.  The outdoor education?  They teach you how to run outdoors."

I didn't have to take Archery/Outdoor Education, though, because of being a "trainer."  I have never regretted it until now - I'm going to be doing a radio show about archery & it might have come in handy.

But probably not.

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