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Wednesday, February 05, 2014

Preface To Hollow: The Adventures Of Reverb & Echo!

"It doesn't make much sense, sir," said the young police cadet.

"No," grumbled the aged detective.  "It most assuredly does not."  He lit his cigar & motioned to the coroner's men to come get the body.  "How," he muttered to himself, "does a person get killed inside a hollowed-out tree?"

"NOT SO FAST!" a voice bounded out of the night sky.  Everyone recognized it - it belonged to the Redoubtable Resounder himself: Reverb!

"Oh fuck," sighed the grumpy detective.  "I bet he brought that underage kid with him, too…"

"Not so fast!" a pubescent voice came, as if in response.  It was everyone's favorite Child Comeback, Echo!

"I HAVE THIS COMMISSIONER!" said the hero.  "I have this!" echoed Echo.

"Look, fellows," the detective said, "this is not the time & place…"

"DOUBTLESS THE WORK OF THE NEFARIOUS NECRO-THIEF!" said Reverb.  "Nefarious thief!" said Echo.

"I know we're outdoors, fellows," said the detective, "but can you use your indoor voice?"

"Excuse me, detective!"  A woman was pushing her way through the police cordon.  "Mary Malone, Child Protective Services.  I need a word with the man in the leather outfit."

"ECHO!" said the champion of justice, "USE YOUR REVERB-RAYS TO SEE IF THERE ARE MAGGOTS OR OTHER CORPSE-EATING VERMIN AROUND THE BODY!"

"Maggots!" said Echo, pulling a device like a small flashlight out of his belt.

"You! You!" said Mary Malone.

"YES, MA'AM? HOW CAN I HELP?"

"How old is that child there?" she asked, pointing at Echo.

"ER.  OLD?  HE'S MY SIDEKICK, THE REPETITIVE PALADIN HIMSELF!"

"Himself!" said Echo.

"Don't you yell at me, mister," said Mary Malone, poking the improbably clad hero in the chest.

"Er," he said.

"Is this young man Ernie Jackson, son of Clarence & Wilma Jackson, who live on Glendale Lane?"

"Mom & Dad?" said Echo.

"Son," said Mary Malone, "your parents are very worried about you!"

"They're not dead?" asked Echo, looking at Reverb.

"ANOTHER EVIL PLOT BY THE CONFOUNDER!" said Reverb, bursting into action.  He grabbed Echo around the waist & took off running into the forest.

"What the?" said Mary Malone, turning to the grizzled detective.  "Why don't you stop him?"

"This is homicide, ma'am," he said.  He turned to the young police cadet.  "Where's the coroner?"

"For fuck's sake!" said Mary Malone, turning & storming back to her car.

The old detective, who really thought he had seen it all, leaned on the tree that was the crime scene & puffed on his stogie.  The body seemed to be cut in three as they pulled it out.

"Who the fuck does something like that?" he thought to himself.  He looked into the forest where he thought he heard a young boy crying.

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