Preface To Guilt: The Five Kinds Of Guilt

To get you ready for tomorrow's show, which is about guilt, I have been scouring the first ten results of a Google search to determine how many kinds of guilt there are.  Are there just two?  Or three?  Or four?  Or how about five?  I like five!  It's the number of fingers I have before I have to use my stupid left hand.  Let's rock this!

According to this paragraph on a web page - I mean it's not really an article, even though it does cite two sources - these are the five kinds of guilt:

One: "guilt for something that you did."  That's not very catchy, so we'll call it "Garden-Variety Common Ol' Guilt."  You fucked up, you lied, you hurt someone, you did something you have always considered wrong.  & now you feel guilty about.  Guilty enough to never do it again?  Ha ha ha no.

Two: "guilt for something you didn’t do, but want to."  Jeez, someone needs to name these better.  Can we call this "Pre-Regret Guilt"?  Or how about "Sour Grapes Guilt"?  Maybe just "Mindfuck Guilt"?  You thought about doing something you think of as wrong, but you didn't, because of fear or something, but you still feel guilty about it.  This is a particularly human form of guilt, & it makes you wish you were a sociopath or something so it didn't keep you up at night.

Three: "guilt for something you though you did."  Though you did?  Oh, thought you did.  We can call this "Dumbass Guilt."  Because you didn't do what you thought you did & eventually you're going to find out you didn't do it but for now, man, you're all thirteen kinds of upset about doing it.  In many cases of Dumbass Guilt (I should be paid for this), you probably already know you didn't do it, but you kinda needed some reason to feel guilty so you were like, What if?

Four: "guilt caused by thinking that you hadn't done enough."  This is probably best exemplified by "White Liberal Guilt," a term I didn't coin but a feeling most sensitive types feel when they realize dumb luck gave them advantages & resources that 99% of the world doesn't have.  Some people convince themselves they deserve what obvious chance had given them, but this isn't about delusion, it's about guilt.  By the way, this kind of guilt should be more pervasive.  It might mean people would actually help those less fortunate than themselves.  Instead, we get the alt-right.

Five: "guilt that you are doing better than someone else."  This is a kind of half-assed description of "Survivor's Guilt," which is not guilt you feel when you realize that you actually paid money to see the band Survivor.  A better description, from Wikipedia, is this: "a mental condition that occurs when a person believes they have done something wrong by surviving a traumatic event when others did not."  Which is sort of like what this person is getting at, but not really.

Let's be clear: this week's show will examine guilt, not attempt to alleviate it or solve it or treat it.  That's because Self Help Radio is not a self-help radio show.  Think about how poorly the show is as a just plain radio show, & then imagine how bad it would be as something helpful!

You're welcome.