Preface To Illusion: My Friend Who Hates Magic

The truth is, I don't have an opinion either way about magic or magicians - I've been entertained by them but I don't know if I'd pay to see one.  On the whole, it takes quite a bit for me to actively dislike something.  But some people hate magicians.

There's that David Cross bit where he describes the magician mural at some airport - is it the Seattle airport? - & his other joke with the punchline, "Yeah, that's my card.  Can I go now?"  That seems more my style - not anger or anything, just kind of weariness, especially with run-of-the-mill types.

Maybe it's because I never learned magic as a kid.  No one ever bought me one of those kits, or one of those books.  I never even learned how to shuffle cards properly.

But I have a friend who despises magicians.  His blood pressure gets up to stroke-worthy levels when he's just near one.  He will cross the street rather than have to walk by a street magician & possibly get roped into one of their tricks.

& there was one time, at a trendy Austin brunch place, we were enjoying our meal & there was a magician there (for some reason)* & he was making the rounds, doing card tricks from table-to-table.  I couldn't see him - my back was to most of the cafe - but my friend obviously could see him & he was unable to carry on a conversation because he was steeling himself for the moment when this itinerant conjurer found his way to our corner table.

But he eventually did, & when he stopped & got our attention & started to ask, "Would anyone like to see...?" my friend exploded like the pressure cooker he was & said, loud enough to be heard back in the kitchen, "NO!!!!!!"

The magician, possibly used to such hate, smiled & went on his way, but I couldn't help bursting out in laughter.  Even if my friend had been molested by some perverted prestidigitator in his youth**, the reaction was so overblown as to be comical.

You know, I keep meaning to get him a magician for his birthday one year.  Well.  There's always next year!

* My friend also hates the musicians that play soothing guitar or whatever at restaurants.  He hates feeling obligated to tip them.
** He wasn't.