Self Help Radio 020819: Valentine's Day 2019 - Flirting!

(Original image here.)

Valentine's Day is just around the corner!  & across the street.  Up the road a ways.  But in six days it'll be here!  Whee!

Okay, look, I know it's weird to do a Valentine's Day almost a week before Valentine's Day but this show happens on Fridays so if Valentine's Day is on a Thursday, I have to do a Valentine's Day on the Friday before the holiday.

& you may ask why do a Valentine's Day at all?  Do you really celebrate Valentine's Day?  Yes, yes I do!  On this show.  That's about it.  My wife hates flowers.  & she's suspicious of romance.

So listen to today's show to find out way too much about flirting through music & talking.  The show is now at the Self Help Radio website.  The songs & talk are listed below.  Remember!  You'll need a username (it's SHR) & a password (it's selfhelp) to listen.

& have a happy Valentine's Day, you shameless flirt you!

Self Help Radio Valentine's Flirting Show

"She's A Flirt" The Jewels _B-Bomb Baby_
"He's A Flirt" The Sequins _Nitty Gritty: 30 Floorshaking Northern Soul Classics_
"Flirt Bliss Love Kiss" The King of Luxembourg _Bellissimo! Él Singles_

introductions & definitions

"The Flirting Kind" Elvis Costello _Punch The Clock_
"Flirt, Hurt & Desert" The Fuzztones _Preaching To The Perverted_
"The Flirt" Shirley & Lee _Let The Good Times Roll_
"Flirt!" Jonathan King _Try Something Different_
"They Say It Is Sinful To Flirt" The Delmore Brothers _Classic Cuts 1933-1941_

interview with flirting expert Dr. Jack Dick Curvybody (Part I)

"I Know What Boys Like" The Waitresses _Wasn't Tomorrow Wonderful?_
"Flirt" Chris Spedding _Cafe Days_
"Flirtation Walk" Gordon McRae _Motion Picture Soundstage_
"Busy Flirtin'" Bobby Hendricks _Itchy Twitchy Feeling_
"Little Town Flirt" The Intelligence _Everybody's Got It Easy But Me_

interview with flirting expert Dr. Jack Dick Curvybody (Part II)

"Brass In Pocket" Suede _Ruby Trax NME Roaring Forty_
"Congregations For Anti-Flirts Inc." Thee Kavaliers _Congregation For Anti-Flirts Inc. (The McAllen, Texas Teen Scene 1965-1967)_
"Flirt A Rio" Piero Umiliani _Easy Tempo, Vol. 4: A Kaleidoscopic Collection Of Exciting & Diverse Cinematic Themes_
"Flirt" Arab Strap _Monday At The Hug & Pint_
"Flirt" Cameo _Alligator Woman_

Gary talks to himself & plays clips of his favorite flirt

"I Don't Flirt Anymore" Homer & Jethro _Wanted For Murder_
"Don't Flirt With Me" Hank Thompson & His Brazos Valley Boys _Hank Thompson & His Brazos Valley Boys, Vol. 1_
"Flirtin'" The Osmonds _Osmonds_
"Shameproof Flirt" Nothing Painted Blue _Monte Carlo Method_
"Flirting USA" Peace _Happy People_

a discussion about "flirty fishing"

"Little Flirt" The Ravons _Quagmire Vol. 2_
"Flirty Baby No. 2" The Raymen _Link Wray:‎ Missing Links, Vol. 1 - Hillbilly Wolf_
"Little Miss Flirt" The O'Kaysions _Girl Watcher_
"Flirtation" St. Christopher _Lioness_
"Accidental Flirt" Elizabeth Harper _Elizabeth Harper_

conclusion & goodbyes

"Flirting Around" Gregory Isaacs _King Jammys Presents: The Best Of Gregory Isaacs_
"Baba Jinde (Flirtation Dance)" Babatunde Olatunji _Drums Of Passion_

Whither Valentine's Day 2019: Firting?

(All of these images came up with I used Google's image search for "flirting.")

Look at those pictures up there!  Flirting is super weird!  According to Google, it's apparently only done by white people in their teens & twenties!  If you don't believe me, put "flirting" in the image search & go to town.  Young, white, pretty town.  That's where the flirt is.

Valentine's Day is one of those shows where I kinda sorta revisit a theme, except I don't really.  It's just got to be related to Valentine's topics, like crushes or jealousy, like famous lovers or heartbreak.  You can actually see all the show's Valentine's Day playlists by clicking here & I believe last year's show - it was about roses - is still available to listen to if you want.

Flirting wasn't an easy show to put together, maybe because, as you'll see, there are different ideas about what flirting is.  Flirting is such an inconsequential part, most of the time, of a relationship, that it's often overshadowed by falling in love.  It's usually just about attraction, & often not serious.  But there are some great songs about flirting!

You'll hear them tomorrow, at noon, at self help radio dot net.  I promise it won't be creepy.  I won't be doing the flirting.  Just the songs on the show.

Preface To Flirting: Flirting Videos Online

Whatever you do, don't search for "how to flirt" videos on Youtube.  You get results like this:

Please don't watch that, it may make you sad.

Also, just don't search for "how to flirt" on the internets either.  You get articles like the one on Wikihow that tells you the two best ways to flirt.  Only two?  What a rip-off!

No, no, all you need to know about flirting you can find out on this week's show.  Just in time for Valentine's Day!  Which will be like six days away.  I mean, I can't do the show after Valentine's Day, that would be awful.  But the closest show to Valentine's Day is six days away.  Sorry about that.

All right.  Stop looking at flirting videos online!  I warned you!

It's The Little Things

As predicted, I didn't do too well raising money for KNON during their Winter Pledge Drive.  I have explicitly told the Station Manager that I would gladly quit doing the show if he had someone who could raise more money than I do (or don't, as the case may be).  I would not be offended.  I am terrible at it.

& yet, as I drove home this morning, I wasn't all that depressed.  I enjoyed chatting with Pippin & Carole on the air, & I enjoyed the show I put together.  (I certainly liked it better than my first stab at the theme sixteen years ago!)  We had some great premiums, but no one wanted them.  One person said I was his favorite Blend deejay, which is always sweet to hear, but that's got to be a small number, & only a fraction of folks can pledge to radio stations.  The fault, I am sure, is me.  No salesperson I.

The wife, who's visiting her sisters & mother in California, talked to me suspiciously, like I was hiding my feelings, but really, it didn't bother me much.  Should there be a shake-up & I lose the show, my show would barely be missed - I have seen dozens of "popular" shows disappear from the airwaves with great sadness only to have them virtually forgotten mere weeks later.  This certainly happened with Self Help Radio in Austin, & it wasn't a well-loved show in any sense.  The fellow who took over the timeslot has been doing it for far longer than I was ever there.

So I suppose I'm using perspective, or something, to rationalize my failure at this.  I've been doing the show for a year now, people have a sense of what to expect when they turn the radio on on Tuesdays & tune into KNON.  If things, premiums, tickets, shirts, etc., is what is needed to convince people to donate to a show, I fully understand why they might wait to do so when a show they really love is on - or a show where they know the deejay.  I have very few friends in the Dallas area, & they don't listen to my show or to Self Help Radio for that matter.  As for family, well, they've never been supportive of anything I do, so I wouldn't expect them to listen, let alone pledge.  Even if they had some money to spare, that would be the last thing it would occur to them to do.

They always say when begging for money on the radio not to threaten - "this show won't be here if you don't pledge" - because it turns people off, but I think I would feel a strange satisfaction if that's the reason I lost the show.  I don't know if anyone at KNON has lost his or her show in the recent past for that reason, but perhaps that's because I'm certainly the one who deserves that the most.

Do you know those super rich conservatives (it seems like they're mostly conservative) who give millions to political campaigns, etc., because they basically take a shit in their golden bathrooms & simultaneously make a million dollars from capital gains?  If each one of them just picked a community radio station - there aren't that many in the US - & started a trust - just drop, say, fifty million dollars each - they wouldn't even notice it was gone - these stations wouldn't have to do pledge drives.  Ever again.

That's something to aspire to.  If you're a rich conservative - especially if you wasted money in the 2016 election on candidates who couldn't beat Trump - email me & we can chat.  I know at least three stations that you can choose from - there are more - & it might be the only good thing you ever do with your money.  & I'm not talking NPR stations!  They're doing fine.  Email me, we can talk.  Wouldn't you love it if your legacy was ending pledge drives on KNON forever?

A boy can dream.

In Twelve Hours

In twelve hours I'll be on the road going to do the Tuesday Morning Blend on KNON, & it'll be the first Pledge Drive of the year.  & while I enjoy putting pledge drive shows together - they're the closest I get to Self Help Radio on KNON - I hate the begging for the money.  I would rather do anything than have to beg for money on the air.

Here are twelve things I'd rather do:

1) Take up curling as a hobby.
2) Wait in line.  In the cold.  With people who are really, really excited about waiting in line.
3) Discuss current events with libertarians.
4) Write a twenty page paper about a subreddit which deals with Christian interpretations of Black Mirror episodes.
5) Sit silently in the corner during a heavy metal concert (no earplugs).
6) Watch a film about skydiving as a preparation to taking skydiving classes.
7) Memorize all the ingredients in various topical creams for later declamation.
8) Befriend the least-talented member of a junior college improv group.
9) Politely listen to any know-it-all discuss the dangers of veganism to me.
10) Watch one of those long boring movies I always fall asleep during but with electrodes on that shock me every time I doze off.
11) Have a meal with any of my siblings (they chose the place).
12) Rub the hair of a bear in a lair in the opposite direction.

Okay, the last one was something Stephin Merritt would rather do than lose your affection.

The point is, I don't really want to do it.  But I will!  Tomorrow.  7-9am cst.  Ugh.