Thank You

Over a hundred people saw & maybe even read my blog post yesterday about my mother.  Most of them were pointed here by Facebook, I linked to what I wrote.  The response was kind & thoughtful.  Many of my Facebook friends actually met my mother.  & three of my siblings responded as well.  I wanted to share what they said here.

My oldest brother Eddie wrote, "Because our world was so different me being in another decade I am glad you wrote about your life with mom I too knew her stubbornness and her eccentricities but my version is more a view from a much earlier time because I got in person looks at mom and dad together and saw the toll it took on mom.I wish that I had known you and Chris up close but by the time you were born I was already moving into my adult life so I had other priorities by then.but never doubt that I loved all my siblings just in different ways and times thank you for your insight into our mom I think each of us have on own chapter about her"

He's right.  I wish I had the skill to write a book about how all seven of us saw her.  I just don't.

My brother Ralph wrote: "Gary, no better words were ever written for Mom. She would have loved this. I know that grief and pain will eventually fade, but it still hurts. You know Mom was immensely proud of you even with you lovable quirks. Know that I am always available, so hit me up any time. Love ya Bro, stay strong"

Ralph was the one sibling I reached out to - I speak regularly with my sister Karin - after Mom's death.  I hope he doesn't mind me sharing what I wrote to him, which was this (in part):

"Been thinking about you a lot.  Hope you're holding up all right.  It's been a weird past few days, I'm never sure how to navigate grief so I simply let it wash over me, & it makes moving around in the real world awkward & uncomfortable.  I talk to Karin & know she's strong enough to handle this.  I'm not really close in any way to Chris or Steve or Eddie.  But I do know Mom talked about you a lot, & she loved spending time with you - it was one of the high points of her week to go to lunch or go shopping with you.  You probably don't feel this way because everyone knows Eddie was her favorite, but I think of all of us, she liked you best."

That's something that engenders in me, at least, no jealousy.  Something about my brother Ralph resonated so much with my mother that even when she was frustrated with him, she loved to talk about him.  & I liked it when she was happy.

Finally, my sister Karin wrote: "Well done. I love you baby brother, even though you are technically a grown up now."

Karin always has to get a dig in!  She knew I'd appreciate it.  "Technically"!  She should be a comedian!

Truly her approval meant the most.  I worried she might have some issues with what I wrote.  It has to have been one of the hardest things I've ever written.  & frankly I'm still reeling from it.

More radio show stuff anon.  Again, I appreciate anyone who took the time to read my self-therapy here.  That's what I wanted to say here today.