When I left KOOP in 2008, I left without needing to take a break or a sabbatical or really ever relinquishing the many tasks I volunteered for. I remember proudly saying to someone, "I never burned out." Which is true. There are people who needed to recharge after being so involved, & there were people who left & never came back. Technically, I left & never came back, but I was moving away, so I couldn't come back, not without great expense.
Just the other day, in reference to my current work, someone told me they didn't want me to burn out. "I don't burn out," I said.
No, I guess I don't. I just get tired. There are so many things I could be doing to help out that I have to say no to because I am programming three radio shows a week. I was doing this earlier in the year, of course, but there is something different about going to a station to do a show. Even when I am doing a show from home, I'm working on it till the last possible minute. Frankly I think broadcasting from home brings out my worst procrastinating tendencies.
Which is a kind of long-winded way of saying I opted out of the bells & whistles for this week's Self Help Radio. I usually put a good deal of work into the show - interviews & what-not - although recording it adds more time - but I just didn't have the energy this week. The show's in the can, it'll be on the air on Monday morning - you'll understand what I mean when you hear it.
What I could have done was take a week off - although it probably wouldn't have resulted in me catching up in any meaningful way - but instead I just simply made a radio show a bit like Self Help Radio used to be - although without a lot of research.
In sum, I owe you an apology. Even if you don't listen, I owe you an apology. Even if you don't think I owe you an apology, I owe you an apology. I owe myself an apology too. That's the trouble with setting a standard for one's radio show. It just feels ugly to not meet it. & Self Help Radio has such low standards to begin with!
So - sorry. Sorry for this week's half-assed show. I am hoping my Thursday morning gig will be done soon, & I'll have more time to spend on other things - including Self Help Radio.
Related question: am I burnt out? Is being tired all the time burnt out?
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