Preface To A Very Self Help Radio Christmas 2020: Chestnuts

Hey wait a second.  Have I ever had chestnuts?  Are those the same as those weird white slices of things you find in Chinese food?  Let me check.  Yeah, they're water chestnuts!  Are they the same chestnuts that roast over an open fire while Jack Frost nips at the your nose?

Nope!  According to this website:

Though they share a name, & have some similarities, chestnuts & water chestnuts are not related & can't serve as substitutes for each other.

Chestnuts (also known as tree chestnuts) grow on chestnut trees, & are common throughout Europe, Asia, & the United States. The nuts are encased in spiky porcupine-like capsules, containing 2–7 nuts, each wrapped in its own shell. Raw chestnuts don’t taste good, but once roasted or boiled in their shells, the nuts become sweet & edible.

Water chestnuts, on the other hand, aren’t nuts but 'corms.' Indigenous to Southeast Asia, like rice, they thrive in wet, marshy fields, but like potatoes, they grow underground. Their brown skins look similar to the skins on (tree) chestnuts, but once peeled, water chestnuts are vastly different. They have a crisp, apple-like texture, while tree chestnuts are starchier & 'meatier.'

Both are available canned or jarred, but fresh can be harder to find.

Whoa!  Chestnuts that are roasted over an open fire while Jack Frost nips at your nose are "sweet & edible"?  I guess I knew they were edible, but sweet?  Shut the front door!

This website tells us:

This is the time of year that the Old World nut crops up in food & song. Today, all over Northern Europe, you see men roasting chestnuts over crude contraptions resting in shopping carts. Not exactly a Currier & Ives scene. (editorializing!)

Chestnuts have been a staple food in Mediterranean countries for centuries & were popular in the United States until a fungus virtually wiped out all chestnut trees in North America in the early 1900s. Americans now depend on imports, mostly from Italy.

Chestnuts have an earthy, musty taste. Though they can be eaten hot off the coals, they are better mellowed by the herbs in stuffing or in other dishes. Soon after roasting, the nuts can become so hard they could break a tooth if bitten too vigorously. However, they still can be chopped. Some larger grocery stores & most Italian markets carry chestnuts in the shell & unshelled chestnuts in a can, which are notably softer.

Even if you've never tried a chestnut, surely you know the song - made famous by Nat King Cole - that keeps it alive in holiday lore.

Wait a second.  "Earthy, mushy taste"?  "Break a tooth"?  That hardly seems sweet & edible!  Why the different chestnut descriptions?  What's going on here?

According to this website:

The tender meat of the chestnut has a slightly sweet flavor more like a sweet potato than another type of nut.

Roasted chestnuts also are a bit spongey rather than crunchy. They are a wonderful flavor of the season that everyone should try!

So they're sweet like a sweet potato but also spongey.  & still a wonderful flavor of the season?  Get outta here!

Seriously, I gotta try me a chestnut.  I won't have an open fire to roast it over, but I suppose if Jack Frost wants to nip at my nose, that'd be fine between the car & the store.  We might even pass some choirs singing yuletide carols.  But in Portland they'll be in raincoats, not dressed up like eskimos.