Preface To Lions Revisited: Oops

Even though it has been properly noted on the website that Monday's show will be the eighteenth anniversary show, & even though I've mentioned here & elsewhere that at least seven people voted to determine that the theme I'd revisit would be lions, on the show last week I said the theme would be "traps."  Of course that will be the theme a week from Monday.  I brought Admiral Ackbar on last week & utterly wasted him.  Sorry.

Yes, eighteen years.  It's a wonder it's lasted this long.  I will have some thoughts about that tomorrow.

Long As The Day Is Today

This is a phrase that I don't like people using: "Not gonna lie."

One uses it I suppose to emphasize what follows, but the implication is that you otherwise would lie.  Who wants that to be how they preface anything?

"In any other context, I would be spouting utter bullshit at you, but not this time!"

Chances are I'm missing its cultural origins & am perhaps being insensitive.  I have no idea where it came from, I am only saying what seems to me to be obvious: if you have to tell us in advance that you're not going to lie, I can only assume that not only do you lie regularly but you understand that I & others are completely aware of it.

It's like when someone says "believe me" all the time.  Why do you think we wouldn't believe you?  Is it because we know you're going to say things we won't believe?

Motivational speakers & the like will perhaps say that adding a phrase like "not gonna lie" or "believe me" actually reassures the listener.  The truth is, we don't in general listen well.  & maybe it's because we ourselves hardly ever say anything that's completely factual, that isn't gilded opinion, that we even expect anyone to actually hear.

In any event, I didn't come here to write this.  It's just been pouring out of me, I apologize.  What I wanted to say is this:

Not gonna lie, this day has kicked my ass.  Currents events in the nation have occupied my mind making it impossible for me to focus on much.  My computer might be dying, & I spent most of the morning trying to figure out why.  I am falling behind on various tasks & that means I'll get less sleep than I currently do.

Hearing people say "not gonna lie" does make me want to preface emphatic statements with "not gonna lie."  Some language is just contagious.  No matter how dumb or problematic you might think it is.

Photographs Of Places I've Lived # 5: Mayfield Avenue

(Image from Google Maps.)

It's so weird looking at a place that you once spent days in but haven't lived in for a very long time.  I lived in this house for roughly six months in 1982.  That was (doing the math in my head) thirty-eight years ago.  How many people have lived in the house since then?  I'm certain it was a rental.  Maybe the people who live in the house own it now?

A couple of years ago I wrote a lot about my time in the house.  I seem to remember being alone in the house a lot.  I first shaved in that house, using my mother's boyfriend's razor, & my face hurt for a week afterwards.  I remember a classmate I'd gone to school with for my entirely public school experience had a locker near mine in high school & told me some time after that, "Dickerson*, those sideburns are not working for you."  The upshot of my weird shaving experiment is that with the peach fuzz gone, I suddenly sported sideburns.  It would be a couple of years before I would have something that looked vaguely like facial hair on the rest of my dumb face.

There was a park down the street to the west, but I don't know if we ever went there.  I remember I had to walk home from school a lot, it was about two & a half miles, & I was usually too tired to do anything after school but read comics or listen to music.  I had a television in my room - probably a little black & white one - & I would try to stay up to watch David Letterman - I still have some cassettes of the show that I would tape so I could listen to them again - audio cassettes, not video cassettes - I taped Elvis Costello's appearance on the show in August 1982 for example - never knowing there would one day be a Youtube where I could watch it all over again.  But unbeknownst to me things were not going well with my mother & her boyfriend & at some point at the end of the year we were whisked away to my oldest sister's house in a move that my siblings must have been familiar with but hadn't really happened to me thus far (well, when I wasn't a baby).

My mom's boyfriend was a drunk, like my dad, & I guess when my mother saw the signs she got us the hell out.  She still worked at his convenience store - the Time Saver - she actually ran it when he went on his benders, which happened usually once a year - but she must have decided that even though he was her meal ticket, she didn't have to live with the guy.  & the truth was, he was very unpleasant.  & inappropriate.  He had all the tell-tale signs of a serious pervert, & I have odd memories of him asking me questions that nowadays would trigger survivors of sexual trauma.  At one meal, for example, he kept asking me if I were "well hung."  I had no idea at the time what that meant.  He found that very funny in a deeply creepy way.

This is something I asked my sister Pat before she died, because my little brother despised my mother's boyfriend, & he did not like to be in the house with him around.  So he spent a great deal of time at her house.  I asked her, did she think my mother's boyfriend did something to him?  Maybe tried something?  My sister emphatically said no.  Even if something did happen, my little brother wouldn't admit it  For my part, I didn't get any child-rape vibes from him when I was a teen but how the hell would I know what such things felt like anyway?

The house was the first time I had my own room since - well, ever.  Up until then I shared a room with one or more siblings.  I wouldn't get my own room again until college.  Now that I think about it, I don't have my own room now.  Who would've thought I'd give such a thing up for marriage?  Having one's own room is the bomb!

We didn't live in that house long enough to make any impression.  I know this because someone who lived on that street with whom I remember talking a few times came into the Time Saver & I recognized her, I even think I knew her name.  She seemed very taken aback.  This would have been just two or three years later.  She had no idea who I was.  I can still her saying, in that witheringly polite way some girls learn, "I'm sorry, I don't remember you."  It still smarts.

P.S. A couple weeks ago I tried to remember how many "avenues" I lived on.  I completely forgot about this place.  So it didn't leave much of an impression of me, either, I suppose.

* Because of gym class, many of my male classmates tended to refer to me by my last name.

Self Help Radio 092820: Nancy's Show

(All images except the SHR logo from each respective Nancy's Wikipedia page.)

My goodness.  An entire show of Nancys?  While not perhaps the Nanciest thing one can do, it's certainly Nancier than a show with only a smattering of Nancys.  Indeed, one might argue than one can over-Nancy in many cases.  I suppose the correct amount of Nanciness is something left to a Nancy specialist, or Nancologist.  Alas, there simply wasn't enough time to consult one for this show, but luckily I had actual Nancys to talk to, or there might have been an unpleasant Nancident.

Listen to the show - it's not required that you be a Nancy, or have a Nancy present at the time, but the former is ideal & the latter is recommended - at the Self Help Radio website.  Unlike current Nancy procedures, in which Nancys get everything Nancy-related (or Nancentric) free, anyone can listen (as per a very complicated agreement with the Amalgamated Union Of Nancys) but a username (SHR) & a password (selfhelp) are required.  What happens on the Nancy show is noted below.

Please spread this information to all Nancys you know.  & perhaps some you don't.  I shiver to think of a Nancy discovering there was a radio show about her somewhere down the line, & being disturbed she wasn't contacted.  Nancys are litigious!

Self Help Radio Nancy's Show

"I Tickled Nancy" Uncle Dave Macon _Keep My Skillet Good & Greasy: The Complete Recordings_

"Nancy Jane" Famous Hokum Boys _Complete Recorded Works In Chronological Order, Volume 1 (1930)_

"Nancy (With The Laughing Face)" Frank Sinatra _The Columbia Years (1943-1952)_

introduction

"Nancy Sin" Beat Happening _Look Around_

"Nancy" The Boys' Star Library _If I Was Born A Girl..._

"Oh Nancy" Young Rival _Strange Light_

"Nancy Reagan's Head" Mission Of Burma _The Obliterati_

interview with the Rev Dr. Howard Gently

"Seems So Long Ago, Nancy" Leonard Cohen _Songs From A Room_

"Nancy Sinatra" The Groove Farm _The Best Parts... Volume 1_

"Listening To Nancy" The Cherry Orchard _The Start Of Our Affair_

"Nancy & Lee" The Golden Dregs _Hope Is For The Hopeless_

"Nancy & Me" Lee Hazlewood _Poet, Fool, Or Bum_

first interview with a Nancy

"Nancy Drew" Tuscadero _The Pink Album_

"Nancy Drew" Sløtface _Try Not To Freak Out_

"I Take A Fancy To Nancy" Cleveland Becker & The MSR Singers _I'm Just The Other Woman! MSR Madness Vol. # 4_

"Song Nancy Hates" Ed's Redeeming Qualities _Big Grapefruit Cleanup Job_

"Nancy Jean" Richard Barone _Our Favorite Texan: Bobby Fuller Four-Ever!_

second interview with a Nancy

"Banks Of The Nile" Fotheringay _Fotheringay_

"Shaky Nancy" Richard Thompson _Henry The Human Fly_

"Nancy Whiskey" Ian & Sylvia _Early Morning Rain_

"Nancy's Minuet" The Everly Brothers _Walk Right Back: The Everly Brothers On Warner Bros. 1960 To 1969_

"The Night Miss Nancy Ann's Hotel For Single Girls Burned Down" Tex Williams _A Man Called Tex_

conclusion & goodbye

"Isabel The Modern Nancy" The Duke Of Norfolk _Mint 400 Records Presents In A Mellow Tone_

"Little Nancy" Fionn Regan _The Shadow Of An Empire_

Whither Nancy's Show?

(Image from the Nancy Drew wiki.  Holy moly there's a Nancy Drew wiki!)

Tomorrow morning's show (Monday morning, as usual) will be an episode of Self Help Radio full of songs about Nancy.  Which Nancy?  Often any Nancy.  Sometimes a specific Nancy.  But it's all Nancy.  In fact, I'm going to interview the two Nancy's I know!

Yesterday I mentioned how much I preferred Nancy Drew over the Hardy Boys.  Yes, I'm still talking about Nancy Drew.  & yes, there are some songs about Nancy Drew.  But anyway, another reason I dug Nancy Drew is her boyfriend was named Ned Nickerson.  "Nickerson" was pretty close to my last name & I've always dug brainy girls.  So perhaps I pretending to be her boyfriend the entire time I was reading the series.

Anyway, please let all the Nancys in your life know there'll be a radio show about & for them tomorrow, Monday, from 8-10am on Freeform Portland, which you can find at 90.3+98.3fm & online at freeformportland.org.  Imagine if you don't let Nancy know!  She may never forgive you!