Dead Computer Blues

(image from here.)

My computer died on Tuesday morning.  It appeared to be working fine as I did Self Help Radio on Tuesday night.  But when I booted it up - I shut down my computer at night - it took a bit longer than it usually does, & it gave me an unusual screen, which asked me if I wanted to reinstall my system, erase my system, run diagnostics, or (I can't really remember) maybe panic like my world was falling apart.  I tried to run diagnostics & I tried to reinstall the system.  I tried to erase it.  Nothing worked.

It's very much in my nature to fall into deep depressions at the slightest sign of unhappiness.  This happened to me, & I was unpleasant to my lovely wife during our morning dogwalk.  But I did a little research & found a place to drop it off - I felt very nervous about doing so because my entire life is on that computer - but I did, & waited, & waited, & waited for their diagnosis.

Before I went to sleep after Self Help Radio, I recorded my airbreaks for the Dickenbock Report.  These were saved by a backup, & I was able to edit them on a very small laptop - something I am not used to working with, & something I am using right now.  Still not familiar, still not happy.  It enabled me to put the show together for Thursday.  But I stayed up late working on it & I hate hate hate having to do this on a laptop.

Because I called the place as soon as they opened on Wednesday I discovered they couldn't help.  It appeared to be my hard drive.  Is it strange that in almost thirty years of using Macs my hard drive has never failed like that?  They could order a new one.  It would arrive Monday.  I could have my computer back on Wednesday.

Could I record Self Help Radio on the shitty little laptop?  Would I have to preempt the show?

The answer is, yes.  I tried it today.  It should be fine, more or less.  I don't have access to my CD library - the CD drive doesn't run on the laptop, not enough power.  I am grateful my computer backed up before it died so I have access to the old computer & to external drives.  But it's damn slow-going.

Have I already said how much I hate that my life is wrapped up in this stupid device?  If there weren't a pandemic, I could still very easily go to a radio station & do a radio show.  But I am at home.

Some other sadnesses have happened in my life that make this seem utterly, completely inconsequential.  Those are stories for another time.  But I sit here tonight, working on Self Help Radio, lamenting the loss of the big ol' computer that's helped me put the show together for seven years.  I wish the dumb bastard had been able to say something before it died.  I hope it can be resurrected effectively with some new hard drive.