Preface To One Night Only: One More Night

Above is a picture of my two boy cats, Boone & Bolan.  I know virtually nothing about how animals remember, or whether they feel loss, or whether they even notice their sister is gone.  We tried to show them her body after she died, but they weren't interested.  & I am the first to admit I am reading a great deal into their actions today, but they seemed a bit listless, & they spent a great deal of time together.  More than they usually do?  It seemed that way to me.  But all I could think about today was my cat Bronte's absence.  So I expected that that's what they feel.

The theme for this show is "one night only."  I never thought I'd be thinking about moments in my life in relation to the theme.  But though I know that all my animals will go at some point, that there will always more one last night, & though I guess I knew that Friday was my one last night with Bronte, I wish I could have one more night, with her happy & well, & me free of the sadness of knowing it was our last night.

Alas, that's not possible.  & grief, grief is such a tenacious fucker.  So forgive me if I dwell, if I look for her in my other animals, in my day, in what occupies my mind.  She was so beautiful & she was always around.  Her absence is felt like I've lost some part of me, or worse, some sense, the sense I had that complemented by sight, hearing, smell, taste, & touch.  & it's no more.