Preface To Honey: Vegans & Honey

(image from here)

This week's show will be about honey (& also bee about honey) & I know what you're thinking - hey! didn't you do a show about bees two weeks ago?  That's true, & indeed there will be honeybee songs in this week's show because I deliberately left them out of last week's show.  Anyway, if you don't already know about why I'm continuing with the bee theme, check back tomorrow - I'll mention it again.

What I wanted to talk about today I can preface with two jokes.  One goes like this:

Q: If you're at a party, how will you know when the vegan, the Mormon, & the crossfitter show up?
A: They'll tell you.

There are other variations of the joke, depending on which group of people you dislike or feel like you think is self-important enough to warrant their inclusion.  But the point is, these awful people always want to talk about how great they are because of their beliefs/health/whatever.

Actually, I made up a joke that depends on knowledge of this joke to work.  It goes like this:

A vegan, a crossfitter, & a Mormon are at a party.  An astronaut enters & they all look at each other & say, "Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck."

In this version of the joke, the astronaut is somehow just as awful as the others.  But it could be any self-important professional or hobby or habit you know.

Before this joke began circulating, I myself had already stopped telling people I was vegan unless it somehow came up.  I have no interest in proselytizing & I don't enjoy it when people get defensive about their own eating choices.  I remember having a conversation with a fellow vegan & someone overheard & said, "I just can't do it."  I said, "No one's asking you to be a vegan.  We're just talking."  He kept shaking his head & said, "I can't do it.  I just couldn't do it."

Some vegans find my decidedly unstrident attitude deplorable, as they believe it's important to be vegan to save life on this planet - & the planet itself - & they feel the need to "spread the word."  I am certain I'd enjoy the planet more if everyone on it were vegan but I don't believe you can really change hearts & minds & customs & habits in this way. Anyway, it would probably also upset these people that I myself don't have strong feelings about eating honey.

There are many reasons for it, & it truly doesn't affect me much as I very rarely eat honey.  When I do, I don't eat commercially produced honey, most of which doesn't have actual honey in it.  If we have honey in the house, it's probably from a local beekeeper, bought at a farmer's market.  Do we have any honey in the house?  I'll check.  [A little time passes.] We actually don't.

More than that, though, I just can't be upset about honey because it comes from bugs.  Don't get me wrong: I understand the value that bees have on this planet.  But I can't get upset about bugs in the same way I might about pigs or cows.  This may be a character flaw.  I became a vegan because I felt it was unethical to kill animals to eat them.  But I wasn't thinking about bugs; I will kill a bug if it's in my vicinity.  A Jain I ain't.

One nightmare scenario health-wise would be discovering that I needed some nutrient that was only available from animal products.  I might suffer if it were to come from mammals or fish.  But if I could get it from, say, crickets?  Problem solved, in my mind.  (They'd have to disguise the cricket somehow, though.  I find all bugs a bit terrifying & I couldn't just pop one in my mouth!)

It's not that I'm worried a radio show about honey will upset vegan listeners.  I don't even know if I have listeners at all!  Plus, I've done shows about other non-vegan things - like butchers - I don't think I'm necessarily celebrating or endorsing something just because I'm doing a show about it.  I just thought I should mention that although I'm a vegan, I don't ultimately think there's anything ethically wrong with eating honey.  It's just my opinion.  You get to make that decision for yourself.

Silk doesn't bother me much either.  They're worms!