The Year You Were Born

(A hundred years old today. Thanks Etsy!)

You're one hundred years old today?
Yes.
You don't look it!
Thank you.
You look much older than that.
What.
You look biblically old.
Stop.
Those old biblical dudes who lived to be 900 but were just piss & shit machines.
I told you to stop.
Or what? You're going to fight me?
That's right!
Come at me, then, Methuselah!
Pow!
Oh shit you just punched me!
That's right asshole.
I just got decked by a hundred year old man.
Not really. I'm just thirty-two.
What the fuck.
I tell people I'm a hundred because I look like I'm a hundred.
Worse.
You want me to hit you again?
Sure. This time I'll hit back!
Wait.  You will?
You fucking bet I will.
You'd hit a hundred year old man?
You're not...
Did you hear that?  This guy wants to hit me! & I'm one hundred years old today.
Jesus Christ.
He only lived to be like thirty.