Boy, Christmas used to be exciting for me. Not for any of the religious stuff - that was never emphasized in our home & I was never forced to go to church or anything like that - it was the presents. I wanted presents. Lots & lots of presents. What an amazing thing! It's dark out & you get lots of presents?
That's probably why I kept liking Christmas tunes for as long as I did: the memories of those magical moments when you'd mention something you wanted & improbably a fellow called Santa brought it to you.
But you get older. For much of my young adulthood I wasn't in a relationship. I had enough money to buy the things I wanted. My large family - I have six siblings - would draw names & inevitably I would stress about what to get them & they - when they drew my name - for some reason would almost never buy me what I wanted but something adjacent (usually cheaper). I got several different versions of books I already owned as well as a couple of box sets I already had. & they never really wanted what they asked me to get them - they had spouses to get them the expensive stuff.
When I was in a relationship, it was never with someone who prized such things. I don't think I would've been good at it anyway. Eventually I would just go home for Christmas - my mother wanted me there - but not give or get gifts. & then, having moved out-of-state, I just stopped going home.
When I would do my Christmas shows, I would say "the only thing I do to celebrate Christmas is make these shows." Over time I began to feel quite hypocritical. The songs about both the materialism & the religiosity reflected no values of mine. Even the "peace on Earth" parts seemed tied to a belief system I didn't have.
Finally, upon reflection, I couldn't in good conscience play Christmas music anymore. It didn't hurt that in the recent past I've known some people - remarkably dumb & dishonest folks - who called themselves "Christians" & thought it amusing that I, a non-believer, still glorified their world view in this way. I don't care what people believe, but I do care that I myself don't misrepresent what I believe.
Without the religion or the gifts, there was no more reason to have anything to do with Christmas. The wife & I hung out today, walked the dogs, made dinner together, in all respects an average Monday. I saw the lights on people's houses, the trees in the front windows, & all I could think was, wow, it has been a long time since I've cared about any of that.
So on my KBOO show tonight, no Christmas music. Anyway, by that time, Christmas will be over.
That's probably why I kept liking Christmas tunes for as long as I did: the memories of those magical moments when you'd mention something you wanted & improbably a fellow called Santa brought it to you.
But you get older. For much of my young adulthood I wasn't in a relationship. I had enough money to buy the things I wanted. My large family - I have six siblings - would draw names & inevitably I would stress about what to get them & they - when they drew my name - for some reason would almost never buy me what I wanted but something adjacent (usually cheaper). I got several different versions of books I already owned as well as a couple of box sets I already had. & they never really wanted what they asked me to get them - they had spouses to get them the expensive stuff.
When I was in a relationship, it was never with someone who prized such things. I don't think I would've been good at it anyway. Eventually I would just go home for Christmas - my mother wanted me there - but not give or get gifts. & then, having moved out-of-state, I just stopped going home.
When I would do my Christmas shows, I would say "the only thing I do to celebrate Christmas is make these shows." Over time I began to feel quite hypocritical. The songs about both the materialism & the religiosity reflected no values of mine. Even the "peace on Earth" parts seemed tied to a belief system I didn't have.
Finally, upon reflection, I couldn't in good conscience play Christmas music anymore. It didn't hurt that in the recent past I've known some people - remarkably dumb & dishonest folks - who called themselves "Christians" & thought it amusing that I, a non-believer, still glorified their world view in this way. I don't care what people believe, but I do care that I myself don't misrepresent what I believe.
Without the religion or the gifts, there was no more reason to have anything to do with Christmas. The wife & I hung out today, walked the dogs, made dinner together, in all respects an average Monday. I saw the lights on people's houses, the trees in the front windows, & all I could think was, wow, it has been a long time since I've cared about any of that.
So on my KBOO show tonight, no Christmas music. Anyway, by that time, Christmas will be over.
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