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Friday, June 08, 2007

Trigger Harpy

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I am feeling negative. Stop me feeling negative. It would be nice for my negativity to have an outlet today. An AC outlet, please. Direc...
Thursday, June 07, 2007

Online Toffee Makers Revolt

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I've been taking a lot of online "tests" that ask questions like "Are You A Homosexual In Your Own Pants?" & ...
Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Whither Ken's Last Ever Summer Invasion Extravagander 2007?

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I first met Ken Lastever at a Hollywood Dachsund Party hosted by Carl Reiner. Both of us had been brought there because of a deep, abiding ...
Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Preface To Ken's Last Summer Radio Invasion Extravaganza: Embedding Secret Words In Plaintext

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After forty-three years of stand-up, I decided to enjoy the leisure of a more supine comic. It coincided with the tenth anniversary of my t...
Monday, June 04, 2007

My Name, Your Newspaper

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It's happened to almost all of us almost once: local notoreity in the local news magazine. (Some of the rest of us appear on local chil...
Friday, June 01, 2007

Charles Nelson Reilly, RIP

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Goodbye, Chuck. Last year, for Christmas, for myself, because my girlfriend & my family don't really buy me presents, & because ...
Thursday, May 31, 2007

When Owls Attack!

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Back in the 1960's, everybody was a Marxist. It seemed to me that capers & ashtrays could be rolled into the one thing that is more...
Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Whither Popcorn?

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This tale is told in five parts. "Chapters," you may say. If you're some kind of storyteller. Part I: The Link 79 Versions O...
Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Preface To Popcorn: If I Ever Catch That Whoremonger Orville Redenbacher, I'll Wring His Neck!

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I am in no way beholden to the popcorn board . No matter how much free popcorn they send me. Covered in delicious fake granular cheese. O...
Monday, May 28, 2007

The Self Help Radio Memorial Day Memorial

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Memorial Day was founded in 1492 by Columbus in Columbus, Ohio, to mark his ability to sail a ship across the Appalachians. That was someth...
Friday, May 25, 2007

A Morrissey Adventure!

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Hey! What if Morrissey were a pirate? Or a superhero? Or a stylish undercover cop busting heads in a corrupt town only he could clean up?...
Thursday, May 24, 2007

The Flabby & The Fastidious

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A moral to this story might be: do you care about your blog? Do you want it to be a good blog, full of righteousness & collectible bonu...
Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Whither A Show About Morrissey?

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Yea, but the man is like unto a god to me. Nay, not because of his grand homosexuality nor his snarky wit. Nay, not because Wilde is on hi...
Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Preface To A Show About Morrissey: If He Cancels Again I'll Just Die!

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I have this dread feeling when it comes to people whom I admire greatly that, if left alone with them, I wouldn't be able to say anythin...
Monday, May 21, 2007

The Campaign To Make Memorial Day A National Holiday

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I was a little sleepy when I wrote this so I was doe-eyed & cute. There was gunk in my eyes. I kept yawning over words & stretchin...
Sunday, May 20, 2007

Tips For Wasting A Lazy Sunday

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1) Add gin to your lemonade. 2) Mow, mow, mow. 3) Look for redundant videos of Zach Galifianakis on Youtube. Decide - beard or no beard? 4)...
Friday, May 18, 2007

Like Living In A Basket Of Henna

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I think I'm the only other person besides John Phillip Sousa who has written songs specifically for old people renewing their vows or ot...
Thursday, May 17, 2007

The Critics Are Quick To The Draw

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My post yesterday was a widely anticipated attempt to mix internal rhyme ("doggerel") with external rhyme ("Dylanerrel")...
Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Whither Parades?

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This is the fourth iteration of my explanation why there's such consternation about the association of my radio station & the word ...
Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Preface To Parades: Whatever Float Floats Your Boat

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Madchester Martin, in his impotent history Parades & The Fancy Men Who Love Them , forwarded the astonishing thesis that parades were a ...