Pardon me, I had a terrible day. I am not going to talk about it, but I will tell you a story from over twenty years ago.
When I was a bachelor, & lived alone, I wasn't noted for keeping my place terribly clean. I might vacuum every once in a while, but I lived in pretty grubby surroundings. But I did shower daily, & I did make sure to have clean clothes. One time, actually, I overheard a woman I had been dating talking about my "smell." Afraid of what she might say, I tried to listen in. She told whomever she was talking to, "Mainly Gary smells like clean clothes."
Also I'm not the most observant person in the universe but one day I did notice what seemed like a stain in the corner of my tub, opposite the shower head. Most anyone else might have thought to clean it up, not me! When I saw it from time-to-time, it seemed to be getting bigger. At some point I realized it may be a cocoon, & so I thought, wow, there might be a butterfly in my shower.
You know because the show this week is about moths that it's going to turn out to be a moth. In fact, I came in one night & actually got to see the creature slowly crawl out of the cocoon. Chances are it was actually a brown house moth but I don't remember anything about it - it looked like your average moth. Mostly gray. Kinda small. It just flew away.
That web page says that they're destructive but I never saw another moth in the house again. Eventually the cocoon fell, & probably washed down the bathtub drain - I certainly didn't clean up there! But I did glance at the place where the cocoon was occasionally , & thought about the reproductive fitness of that moth - unless it found its way outside my apartment, its genes probably died with it.
& I wondered where the little caterpillar came from, why I never saw it climbing my bathroom walls, why I didn't notice until there was actually a cocoon. But that was easy to answer, & I did it already: I'm really not that observant.
Being observant is kinda exhausting.
Saturday, February 01, 2020
Friday, January 31, 2020
Things I'm Doing For The Radio Not On The Radio
Have I mentioned this before? Let me see. I have! In three posts! Which you've probably never read. So I'll say it again.
One of the first things I did for KOOP in Austin was to be a trainer. I had trained dozens of new deejays at KVRX when I was Program Director & KOOP needed someone to teach their FCC class. The second Monday of the month was when the FCC & Orientation classes were. As I mentioned when we lost him, dear Taylor Cage taught the Orientation class, I (who was a smoker then) would go outside to smoke & then come in all smelly & talk for an hour about the FCC, its sometimes murky rules, & the policies KOOP adopted to attempt to make sense of them, & also not get fined.
It was fun, & I got to meet a lot of people - it was neat to know everyone before everyone else. At some point - I guess in October of 2002 - when I got a show, I volunteered to spend the hour before my show shepherding new volunteers who wanted to show off what they might do if they were given a show. We called it "The Pilot Show" - I'm not sure if I came up with the name or not - after the term "television pilot" - & one of the cool things was I let people do more than one pilot show, so it encouraged folks to stick around. Some of the people who currently have shows on KOOP did Pilot Shows with me.
At some point I mentioned that to the Program Director at KBOO, who liked the idea, & asked if I might want to do the same thing. I said sure, & she set aside the fifth Friday of the month for me to hang out at the station with new trainees & let them do their thing. I had forgotten that that was the plan until I got an email a week ago with the names of the folks coming up today. So that's where I'll be tonight.
Most of these folks have been trained, most of them have radio experience, I'm just there to offer a little advice & be there for help. It's almost exactly the same thing I did in Austin except it's for four hours in a row & not one - & I don't get to sneak downstairs for a smoke during the show. Because KBOO doesn't have an upstairs, & also I don't smoke anymore.
One of the first things I did for KOOP in Austin was to be a trainer. I had trained dozens of new deejays at KVRX when I was Program Director & KOOP needed someone to teach their FCC class. The second Monday of the month was when the FCC & Orientation classes were. As I mentioned when we lost him, dear Taylor Cage taught the Orientation class, I (who was a smoker then) would go outside to smoke & then come in all smelly & talk for an hour about the FCC, its sometimes murky rules, & the policies KOOP adopted to attempt to make sense of them, & also not get fined.
It was fun, & I got to meet a lot of people - it was neat to know everyone before everyone else. At some point - I guess in October of 2002 - when I got a show, I volunteered to spend the hour before my show shepherding new volunteers who wanted to show off what they might do if they were given a show. We called it "The Pilot Show" - I'm not sure if I came up with the name or not - after the term "television pilot" - & one of the cool things was I let people do more than one pilot show, so it encouraged folks to stick around. Some of the people who currently have shows on KOOP did Pilot Shows with me.
At some point I mentioned that to the Program Director at KBOO, who liked the idea, & asked if I might want to do the same thing. I said sure, & she set aside the fifth Friday of the month for me to hang out at the station with new trainees & let them do their thing. I had forgotten that that was the plan until I got an email a week ago with the names of the folks coming up today. So that's where I'll be tonight.
Most of these folks have been trained, most of them have radio experience, I'm just there to offer a little advice & be there for help. It's almost exactly the same thing I did in Austin except it's for four hours in a row & not one - & I don't get to sneak downstairs for a smoke during the show. Because KBOO doesn't have an upstairs, & also I don't smoke anymore.
Thursday, January 30, 2020
Because No One Even Remembers It's Thursday
For some reason, there's not a show page for The Dickenbock Report. You can listen to the show & see the playlist over at the KBOO web site under the name of Alright Radio, which is the show that airs on alternate Thursdays. I'm not sure if the KBOO web folks are being passive-aggressive about my silly show, or if there's been some sort of miscommunication, or if it's a mistake.
When asked to write something about the show - "copy," I hear it's called - this is what I said:
Join international radio journalist, newscaster, & talking head Richard D. "Dick" Dickenbock every other Thursday morning for a mostly musical look at that day in history. The award-resistant Mr. Dickenbock has left or been fired by virtually every respected & credible news organizations, as well as Fox News, in his career. Highlights include celebrations of birthdays, commemorations of death days, & the occasional field piece by correspondents other than Dick. It's one hundred & fifty minutes of news you probably cannot use, on alternating Thursdays on KBOO. Listener attention ill-advised.
Actually, until just now, I had forgotten what I had written. That's more interesting than I remember it. As well, it's more accurate than I thought.
Hunh.
When asked to write something about the show - "copy," I hear it's called - this is what I said:
Join international radio journalist, newscaster, & talking head Richard D. "Dick" Dickenbock every other Thursday morning for a mostly musical look at that day in history. The award-resistant Mr. Dickenbock has left or been fired by virtually every respected & credible news organizations, as well as Fox News, in his career. Highlights include celebrations of birthdays, commemorations of death days, & the occasional field piece by correspondents other than Dick. It's one hundred & fifty minutes of news you probably cannot use, on alternating Thursdays on KBOO. Listener attention ill-advised.
Actually, until just now, I had forgotten what I had written. That's more interesting than I remember it. As well, it's more accurate than I thought.
Hunh.
Monday, January 27, 2020
Self Help Radio 012720: A Lean Show/A Leaning Show
(Original image here.)
A lean show! A leaning show! It's like two mediocre episodes of Self Help Radio in one! (Yes, yes, I know "mediocre Self Help Radio" is redundant.)
What happened? Why did this show happen? Let's not kid ourselves. Someone leaned on the show & said, "Let's make this a thing, this lean radio." Was it a butcher consortium? The publicists of the Leaning Tower of Pisa? Or just some strange rich & powerful weirdo who likes to make this sort of thing happened because he can, like Bloomberg running for President? Who knows? The only thing that's certain is someone wanted this show to happen, & it happened, & somewhere some sick, sick person is giggling with glee like he'd just watched a baby bird try to fly & fail. & this is the worst thing: it will happen again.
Well, not exactly like this. Maybe with a show about deficit spending. Hopefully that'll be a different radio program. Meanwhile, if you'd like to hear this one, & there's no reason why you would, it's now at the Self Help Radio website probably up to no good. For reasons that make more sense as time goes by, you'll need a username (SHR) & a password (selfhelp) to listen. What was played on the show is listed below.
Oh all right, let's lean into this nonsense!
Self Help Radio Lean Show
"Lean Baby" Frank Sinatra _The Capital Years_
"Lean Jean" Bill Haley & His Comets _The Essential Bill Haley & His Comets_
"Long Leanie Woman" Lightnin' Slim _Rooster Blues_
introduction & strategy
"Lean On Me" Maurice & Mac _Windy City Soul_
"Lean On Me (When Heartaches Get Rough)" Eddie Jasper Daye's Four Bars _Rare Soul Heaven, Vol. 2_
"Pimping, Leaning, & Feaning" The Watts Prophets _Things Gonna Get Greater: The Watts Prophets 1969-1971_
"Lean On Me" Aretha Franklin _Rare & Unreleased Recordings From The Golden Reign Of The Queen Of Soul_
"Lean On Me" Bill Withers _Still Bill_
interview with Professor Etta Mology
"Lean Woman Blues" T.Rex _Electric Warrior_
"I Leaned On A Man" Connie Francis _Fallin' - Best Of The Early Years_
"Don't Lean On Me" Corrina Cord _The Laurie Records Story, Vol. 3 Girls & Girl Groups_
"Lean In When I Suffer" Speedy Ortiz _Twerp Verse_
"Demon To Lean On" Wavves _Afraid Of Heights_
Ned Dry shows you how to make a lean-to
"Lean-To" O'Death _Broken Hymns Limbs & Skin_
"She's Long & She's Lean" Mallard _Mallard_
"Lean On Me" Harry Nilsson _Knnillssonn_
"Lean On Me" The Housemartins _London 0, Hull 4_
"Lean On Me" Telekinesis! _Dormarion_
interview with president of the Lean People Leaning Society Karl Selzer
"Lean Period" Orange Juice _Coals To Newcastle_
"Leanin' On You" Joe South _Games People Play_
"Leaning In Chelsea" Eugene Mirman _En Garde, Society!_
"Lean In" Golden Daze _Golden Daze_
"Leaning On A Lamp Post" Herman's Hermits _The Best Of The EMI Years (Volume 1: 1964 - 1966)_
interview with self-help writer Buster Roll
"Lean" Archie Powell & The Exports _Black In Black_
"Leaning On The Backline" The Popguns _Pop Fiction_
"Lean Lanky Daddy" Little Ann _Dave Hamilton's Detroit Dancers_
"Leanin' On The Old Top Rail" Smilin' Billy Blinkhorn _Bushland Yodel_
conclusion & goodbye
"The Leanover" Life Without Buildings _Any Other City_
"Leaning On A Cane" The Delgados _Domestiques_
Sunday, January 26, 2020
Whither A Lean Show?
("Lean Folks Leaning" by V. Chamberlain.)
What in the hell? "A Lean Show"? Good lord, have we run out of ideas so quickly?
You do know there's a place on the Self Help Radio web page where all the previous themes the show has explored are indexed, don't you? Anyone can look at that page, you know, & get some idea of subjects for future shows. Heck, look at the list of Bob Dylan's radio shows & crib some ideas from there! Baseball, trains, cars, dreams - Self Help Radio hasn't bothered to explore these themes which you have to admit are quite fertile ground for thematic-based radio shows!
No, instead, we have "a lean show." Here's the thing: I haven't been lean a day in my life. No, mostly been hovering on or near "fatty." Is this some kind of torture? "Lean Radio"? Radio with no fat? Don't skinny people already have everything? What is wrong with this show?!?
Whatever, it's on tomorrow (Monday) morning from 6-8am. I'm gonna eat a lot right before the show so I feel stuffed. That'll show me. It's on Freeform Portland, 90.3 + 98.3 fm, freeformportland.org. You think it'll be a fat-shaming show? Damn it!