Whither Wizards? (Halloween 2025!)

(comic by Tom Gauld)

Halloween is a holiday I celebrate every year on the show. But I don't like to play the same Halloween songs every year so instead I select a single theme - an aspect of Halloween, or a monster, something like that, & let that be the focus od my Halloween show. & I have not repeated Halloween themes in my many years on Self Help Radio which means I must find a new theme each year. That means I can never again on Self Help Radio have Halloween shows about ghosts & vampires, about zombies & werewolves, about witches & mummies & monsters in general & Frankenstein in particular.  Scary places weren't neglected, either - there have been shows about haunted houses, graveyards, ghost towns, even hell.  Are you afraid or black cats or spiders or clowns or scarecrows or all kinds of horrible things attacking - becayse there have been Halloween shows about those terrible creatures too! Some terrifying concepts, too, have come under the show's scrutiny: voodoo & nightmares & death have been nervously explored.

(If you're like me & counted the themes & said "Hey those are only 20 themes! Hasn't the show been on from like 23 years?" The answer is I didn't do a Halloween show one year, & the first show was a general Halloween show, & this will be the Halloween episode of the show's 23rd year.)

All of these shows can be listened to by clicking the link above or simply visiting the Self Help Radio Halloween show page. It looks like I do need to add shows for the last two years though eep!

Do I despair of running out of Halloween themes? Oh indeed. But this year I fear the show might not be too scary - but I think it will capture some of the magic of Halloween. It's a show about wizards. In addition to songs about wizards, I'll be speaking to some wizards too - all night long!

That's at the Witching Hour - midnight to 2am tonight - on 90.7fm in Portland & online at kboo dot fm. I don't mind if you don't listen but some of the wizards I'll talk to might so - maybe listen or get turned into a frog?

Preface To Wizards (Halloween 2025): Portland Halloween

Portland loves Halloween. I'm tempted to say the city loves Halloween more than any other holiday but I don't really celebrate many other holidays - there are lots of Christmas decorations during Christmas but that doesn't charm me as much as displays of things that frighten you.

Although really I don't celebrate Halloween much either. I don't dress up & I don't decorate the house. As a result, very few children make it by the house - & they don't tend to like the vegan treats we serve. But I've always made Halloween shows - every Halloween since the beginning of the show. & while I feel like I am likely to run out of Halloween themes fairly soon, I've scraped by each year - this year with a theme that's not exactly scary but is a common Halloween costume - wizards.

Above is a picture of a yard in my neighborhood which shows some of the cleverness on display by the people who are really, really into Halloween. This particular yard makes my wife laugh every time we pass - it's on our dog walk route you see.

There is I suppose no real explanation for why the theme is what it is this week but I'll take a crack at it tomorrow anyway.

Coming Up Tomorrow On The Dickenbock Report: Frankenstein!

(found here)

Portland loves Halloween. Dick Dickenbock loves Halloween. Next Friday is Halloween. Tomorrow there will be a special report on Halloween. This year Dick Dickenbock wanted to explore one of his favorite monsters from his childhood - Frankenstein's monster!

That's tomorrow, Sunday, October 26, from noon to 1pm on XRAY FM, 107.1fm & xray dot fm. If we're lucky, we'll get to hear for four thousandth time Dick Dickenbock's Boris Karloff story. Yay,

This Week In Self Help: October 17 19 + 21

(statue by Iván Argote, image from here)

Another week, another radio. I know that doesn't make any sense but I do these recaps every week & I feel like I should say something new instead of "here's another week of dumb radio I made." But - anyway.

Friday October 17 on The Songcircle on KBOO I played lots of new releases.
Listen at KBOO dot fm | Listen at Self Help Radio dot net

Sunday October 19 on The Dickenbock Report on XRAY I celebrated Marjorie Tallchief's birthday by playing songs about ballet.

Listen at XRAY dot fm | Listen at Self Help Radio dot net

Tuesday October 21 on Self Help Radio I made a radio show about pigeons.

Listen at KBOO dot fm | Listen at Self Help Radio dot net

Tuesday October 21 on Corporate Standardized Programming I played a lot of new releases.

Listen at KBOO dot fm (after Self Help Radio) | Listen at Self Help Radio dot net

At Self Help Radio dot net you might need the username SHR & password selfhelp to access.

Another week, another radio post. Okay, that makes more sense. Except all I post about is my radio shows!

Self Help Radio 102125: Pigeons

A nice program about a nice bird that is generally unloved & misunderstood. Boo! to those who dislike the pigeon! They are stout & cute & make neat sounds & you know what? We domesticated them. They traveled along with us. They're our responsibility! So there! (Read more about that here.)

Anyway, enjoy all these songs about pigeons. Plus the silly interviews. The show can be listened to at the KBOO web page & at the Self Help Radio web page. For the latter, remember the username SHR & password selfhelp. Everything that happened on the show is below.

A group of pigeons is of course a flock. A group of pigeon songs is this week's show!

Self Help Radio Pigeon Show

"It Ain't No Fun To Be A Pigeon" Homer & Jethro _There's Nothing Like An Old Hippie_

"My Pigeon's Gone" Charles Calhoun _The R&B Years 1956, Vol. 1_

"Little Pigeon" Chuck Sims _That'll Flat Git It! Vol. 9: Rockabilly From The Vaults Of Decca Records_

"Homin' Pigeon" The Rhythmettes _Doo-Wop Delights, Vol. 6_

introduction & definitions

"Carrier Pigeon" The Kingston Trio _Sold Out_

"Pigeon In The Park" The Gaslight Singers _The Gaslight Singers_

"Poisoning Pigeons In The Park" Tom Lehrer _The Remains Of Tom Lehrer_

"Les Deux Pigeons" Charles Aznavour _Qui ?_

"Mi Palomita" Yma Sumac _Fuego Del Ande_

interview with Chad Mapplethorpe of Pigeon Friends

"Pigeons" Laurie Styvers _Gemini Girl: The Complete Hush Recordings_

"Passenger Pigeons" Handsome Family _Twilight_

"Eight Clay Pigeons" Ella Jenkins _Counting Games & Rhythms For The Little Ones_

"Pigeon" Cannibal Ox _The Cold Vein_

"Pigeonometry" Aesop Rock _Integrated Tech Solutions_

interview with poetry teacher Rod Farmer

"Stool Pigeon" Vic Godard & Subway Sect _What's The Matter Boy?_

"The Pigeon" Jeffrey Lewis & Los Bolts _Manhattan_

"Pigeon Named Crow" Nicki Jaine _Live_

"Pigeons" National Lampoon _Radio Dinner_

"Pigeons" Bill Callahan _Pigeons_

a conversation with two pigeons

"Clay Pigeons" John Prine _Fair & Square_

"Pigeons" Weird Al Yankovic & Wendy Carlos _Peter & The Wolf/Carnival Of The Animals - Part II_

"Pigeons" The Hundred In The Hands _The Hundred In The Hands_

"Inner City Pigeon" Marching Church _Telling It Like It Is_

"Carrier Pigeon" Surfer Blood _Snowdonia_

conclusion & goodbyean angry caller calls in
then conclusion & goodbye

"Stop That Pigeon" Reverend Horton Heat _Saturday Morning (Cartoons' Greatest Hits)_

"Pigeon In Your Tongue" The Mommyheads _Coming Into Beauty_

"Pigeon" Cloth _Secret Measure_

Whither Pigeons?

It's always a lot of fun to a radio show about an animal. I feel like I could do it every week but for some reason I don't do it that often - the last animal I did a Self Help Radio episode about was the snail! That was back in March. I was feeling it was perhaps time for another show about an animal.

(Gosh I don't even wanna check back to see how long it's been since I've done an episode about a bird!)

During the summer I began to be regularly approached by bold crows to beg for dog treats from me. One of them seemed quite grizzled & was braving some kids playing soccer so when he returned a few times I started calling him David Peckham. David disappeared over time but many different crows now swoop past & land next to me & wait for me to crumble something to toss to them. (The dogs are usually led away by my wife or they will lunge for the treats - & scare the birds.)

Reflecting on this, I thought, you know, I should do a show about crows. Sadly, I have already done one - way back in 2016. I was lamenting this on a dog walk - not through the park but in a neighborhood - & my wife pointed to some pigeons gathered on some wires & said, "Why not do a show about pigeons?"

That was the inspiration for this program - a show about pigeons inspired by crows.

We'll fly the coop tonight on KBOO from midnight to 2am. That's 90.7fm in town, & kboo dot fm everywhere. Dang it, I don't have a pigeon pun to end this - but I had a lot to crow about.

Preface To Pigeons: The Mystery Of The Disappering Radio Show

(I'm sorry, I don't remember where I found this)

As I get older, as I do more radio shows, it becomes far more likely I'll make a mistake & repeat a show. I try to make sure that doesn't happen but there's always the danger it will. This weekend as I was gathering songs for the upcoming pigeon show, I found a folder created in 2022 which was labelled "pigeons" & which had dozens of songs in it. I kinda panicked. Did I already do a pigeon show? If so, why wasn't it on my list of shows?

Of course I was grateful - I had done a lot of the work for the show three years ago! But I couldn't for the life of me figure out what the hell had happened. I do a lot of shows. I can't possibly remember all of them.

Luckily I keep a sort of journal & the files had all been gathered at a particular date. In 2022, closest to the date on the folder, was a Thursday - which was when I did The Dickenbock Report on Freeform Portland, I believe. The station was still closed, I was still recording the show the night before at home. I cannot for the life of me find any pigeon-related holidays or national days but apparently there was a reason for a show about pigeons on September 1, 2022.

But why didn't it happen? Because I went to see a show that night with my wife. & I wrote in my little journal that I was too tired to record & just didn't have enough time. But I did write, I might do a pigeon show one day though.

& that day will be tomorrow night! But what made me think of doing a pigeon show over three years later? I'll try to answer that tomorrow.

Coming Up Tomorrow On The Dickenbock Report: Marjorie Tallchief's Birthday

(image from here)

On October 19, 1926, Marjorie Tallchief was born. This extraordinary person was the first Native American to be named première danseuse étoile in the Paris Opera Ballet. The staff of the Report - including of course the head honcho Dick Dickenbock - are huge fans, so it was decided to report about her in particular, & ballet in general, tomorrow on The Dickenbock Report.

That's noon to 1pm pn 91.1+107.1fn in Portland, & online everywhere at xray dot fm.

It will be the second of two shows during XRAY's Fall Fund Drive, so we remind you, to help support the station that airs The Dickenbock Report, click here. If you'd like to donate to support the Dickenbock Report, click here. The money goes to XRAY, it's just to show Dick Dickenbock you care.

This Week In Self Help: October 12 + 14

Lotsa different curtain choices in this apartment building! Here is what I did on the radio this week.

The Dickenbock Report (October 12): Farmers Day. Listen at XRAY | Listen at Self Help Radio.
Self Help Radio (October 14): A show about curtains. Listen at KBOO | Listen at Self Help Radio.
Corporate Standardized Programming (Ocrtober 14): Music from artists we lost in March & April of this year. Listen at KBOO (after Self Help Radio) | Listen at Self Help Radio.

Two reminders:
1, you can support The Dickenbock Report during XRAY's Fall Fundraiser by donating here.
2, you might need the username SHR & the password selfhelp to access shows on the Self Help Radio website.

That's it! Curtains closed.

Self Help Radio 101425: Curtains

The curtains were up on the show this morning, but now they are down. Or were they open & are now closed? I feel like I'd be a terrible stage manager. I wouldn't know whether the curtains were supposed to be raised or lowered or whether the actors were to emerge from them.

My wife by the way is mad at me because I didn't tell this curtain story last night. In the summer of 1980 I adopted a little white kitten whom I named Beatrice. Beatrice was a wild child & one of the things she loved to do was run up the cheap curtains in my duplex. I mainly left them open because it was the one big window I had. Years later when I was to leave the duplex, we thought about closing the curtains in the hopes it might disguise any areas we couldn't entirely clean so we'd get the deposit back. We closed the curtains - & little pinpricks of light shone through the entire width of them. Beatrice's claws had left uncountable holes. We laughed - & left the curtains open.

There are better curtain stories on the show. Which you can listen to at either the KBOO web page or the Self Help Radio web page. If you choose the latter, remember - username SHR + password selfhelp. The stuff that happened on the show is listed below.

& now - the curtain falls.

Self Help Radio Curtains Show

"Behind Curtains" The Five Stairsteps _The Five Stairsteps_

"Water Curtain" Peter Ivers' Band with Yolande Bavan _Knight Of The Blue Communion_

"Curtain" Marden Hill _Amen (Last Sunshine Deserts Of Él Records)_

introduction & definitions

"Keeping The Curtains Closed" The Jazz Butcher _Fishcotheque_

"The Curtain Long" Bernthøler _Merry Lines In The Sky_

"Audrey's Curtains" The Days _The Sound Of Leamington Spa Volume 4_

"Curtains" Skating For Cover _Rituals_

"Internet Curtains" Denim _Novelty Rock_

interview with curtain inspectors Drew & Priscilla Carter

"When The Curtain Calls For You" Jonathan Fire*Eater _Wolf Songs For Lambs_

"Curtains" Exene Cervenka _Running Sacred_

"Hidden Curtain" Marbles _Pyramid Landing & Other Favorites_

"Curtains 1 & 2" Throwing Muses _Purgatory/Paradise_

"Through The Curtain" The Steinbecks _Kick To Kick With The Steinbecks_

interview with National Curtain Museum docent Cory Dwyer

"Like A Curtain Falling" The Strange Death Of Liberal England _Drown Your Heart Again_

"This Curtain Call" Kitty Kat Fan Club _Dreamy Little You_

"Curtains!?" Timber Timbre _Hot Dreams_

"Velvet Curtain" Anna Tivel _The Question_

"The Final Mrs. Curtain" Elvis Costello & The Imposters _Look Now_

interview with Neighborhood Association President Max Cowell

"Cowboy Curtains" Tobin Sprout _The Universe & Me_

"Curtains" Linda Smith & Nancy Andrews _A Passing Cloud_

"Blank Curtain" Cola _Deep In View_

"Black Curtains In The Bag" Billy Nomates _Cacti_

"Curtain" Horse Jumper Of Love _Disaster Trick_

conclusion & goodbye

"Torn Curtain" Television _Marquee Moon_

"The Curtain" Mary Ocher _Power & Exclusion From Power_

"The Curtain" Deer Tick _Negativity_

Whither Curtains?

Summer lingers in Portland, it's one of the things I love about the city & the season. This town is known for gloomy days, cold & rain, but we have bright summers that have long daylight hours that sadly don't last. I spent a lot of this past summer on a bike, riding places, sometimes with my wife, sometimes alone, going to get food, going to see shows, going to parks with the dogs. I haven't yet managed to ride my bikes to my radio shows - Self Help Radio is on at night & my wife thinks it might be unsafe (because of not being able to see hazards, not because of crime or anything) & The Dickenbock Report airs on a station too far away - I am an old feller & I am woefully out of shape.

There's a meditative quality to bike riding I am told but I am a terrible meditator so I tend to take in all the things I am cycling by & one day probably in June as the day was ending I decided to take a tally of the front windows of the homes I was riding past - did they have curtains or blinds? were they open or not? In my neighborhood I was saddened to see that blinds outnumbered curtains - & a little shocked that lots of people let you look into their homes as night falls!

With curtains appearing to be the unpopular choice, I thought I'd do my best to support them by making a radio show about them. & I'll do that tonight.

Self Help Radio is on from midnight to 2am on 90.7fm in Portland & kboo dot fm everywhere. KBOO doesn't have curtains so sadly I can't give you a glimpse behind the curtains of the show. It's just all there for everyone to see. Or at least hear.

Preface To Curtains: Art Collected

Here is some art I've found online. It's called "Beaded Curtain" & it's by Hurvin Anderson. You can find out more about him on his Wikipedia page. I almost certainly found this image on a Tumblr blog. Even though the kids abandoned Tumblr years ago, I still have a Tumblr page so I still wander around there, wondering what folks are posting. I wish I kept track of where I might find stuff but wow that would be a lot of work.

Alas Gurple Image Search mostly finds the image here.

Okay, time to go back to listening to songs about curtains. There are a surprisingly large number of them!

Coming Up Tomorrow On The Dickenbock Report: Farm Day

(found on Reddit)

October 12 is Farmer's Day. We'll report on farms & farmers. That's simple enough.

It's also XRAY's Fall Fund Drive. We'd love for you to donate! Do that here. Or, if you'd like to specifically support The Dickenbock Report, you can do that here. Of course all the money raised goes to help XRAY - the station foolish enough to air the Report in the first place.

See you on the farm Sunday, October 12, from noon to 1pm, on 91.1+107.1fm in Portland, & online at xray dot fm.

This Week In Self Help: October 5 6 + 7

Silver balloons floating in a room. Silver for Self Help Radio's 23rd anniversary. Don't overthink it. It's an image for a blog post. Taken I think at the Andy Warhol Museum many moons ago. Here's what happened this week.

The Dickenbock Report on XRAY. Sunday October 5th.

The anniversary of the first appearance of The Honeymooners leads to a show about honeymoons.
Listen at XRAY dot fm. Listen at Self Help Radio dot net.

A KBOO Sub Show on KBOO. Monday October 6th.
I played a bunch of interesting sounds I recently come across. KBOO does not archive sub shows but.

Look at the playlist on Spinitron. Listen at Self Help Radio dot net.

Self Help Radio on KBOO. Tuesday October 7th.

For my 23rd anniversary show, I revisited a theme from 2007 - Molly.

Listen at KBOO dot fm. Listen at Self Help Radio dot net.

Corporate Standardized Programming on KBOO. Tuesday October 7th.

In honor of SHR's 23rd Anniversary, I played the songs original played on the 2007 Molly show.

Listen at KBOO dot fm (after Self Help Radio). Listen at Self Help Radio dot net.

That seems a lot, it really wasn't. Remember, at the Self Help Radio page, you might need the username SHR & the password selfhelp. Happy anniversary!

Self Help Radio 100725: Molly Revisited - The 23rd Anniversary Show

(original image here*)

Twenty-three years of this nonsense! I guess the most hopeful thing is that there's no chance I have twenty-three more years in me!

The silver plate is the 23rd anniversary gift. I gave myself one. The show features lots of Molly songs I didn't play in the original 2007 show. Plus I talked to all the Mollys I know. I only know three Mollys.

Listen to the show with a Molly you know - or on the 23rd anniversary of something - or whyever you listen to radio shows - at either the KBOO website or at the Self Help Radio website. You might need the username SHR & password selfhelp at the latter. Everything that happens on the show is below.

Seriously I wish I knew more Mollys.

Self Help Radio Molly Revisited (23rd Anniversary Show)

"Run, Mollie, Run" Henry Thomas _Texas Worried Blues (Complete Recorded Works 1927-1929)_

"I'm In Love With Molly (with Red Foley)" Ernest Tubb _Let's Say Goodbye Like We Said Hello_

"Three Girls Named Molly, Doin' The Hully Gully" The Johnny Otis Show _The Greatest Johnny Otis Show_

introduction + old airbreak

"Molly Malone" Joni Mitchell _Archives – Volume 1: The Early Years 1963-1967_

"Good Golly Miss Molly" The Swinging Blue Jeans _Really!! They Sing It In German Vol. III_

"Mami Molly's Makkaroni Band (feat Gunter Gabriel)" Trude Herr _Ich Will Keine Schokolade_

"Molly" The Motifs _Storm In The Garage_

"Molly Bloom" Tom Paxton _6_

interview with my friend Molly in Virginia

"1952 Vincent Black Lightning" Richard Thompson _Rumor & Sigh_

"Old Molly Metcalfe" Jake Thackray _Bantam Cock_

"Molly Says" The dB's _The Sound Of Music_

"Molly" Fossil _Fossil_

"Handsome Molly" Bill Morrissey _Standing Eight_

interview with my friend Molly in Kentucky

"Sam & Molly Are In Love" Little Name _How To Swim & Live_

"Molly" Eux Autres _Cold City_

"Molly Dodd" Six Cents & Natalie _When Punk Fell To Earth_

"Molly" Pins _Wild Nights_

"Molly" Ratboys _GN_

interview with my friend Molly in Portland

"Molly's Lips" Eugenius _It Ain't Rocket Science, It's Eugenius_

"Through The Eyes Of Molly" Damien Youth _Sunfield_

"No Title (Molly)" John Maus _A Collection Of Rarities & Previously Unreleased Material_

"Molly Bond" Peggy Seeger _Bring Me Home_

"Molly" Entrance _Book Of Changes_

conclusion & goodbye

"Suddenly Molly" Heart-Sick Groans _Gentlemen, If You Ain't Right, Get Right!_

"Molly" Palehound _Dry Food_

"Melancholy Molly" Seablite _Lemon Lights_

*This file is made available under the Creative Commons CC0 1.0 Universal Public Domain Dedication. 

Whither Molly Revisited (The 23rd Anniversary Show)?

(Molly Pitcher, from Wikipedia)

On October 9, 2002, Self Help Radio premiered on KOOP in Austin. This week will be its 23rd anniversary. It has appeared on radio stations in four states, including on three (!) different stations in Portland. It has been places in its over-two-decades on the air.

In March of 2007, there was an episode of Self Help Radio dedicated to the late Molly Ivins, who had died that year of cancer. She was a force in Texas journalism for years, a smart, funny, insightful writer. To pay tribute, I played a bunch of songs to & about women named Molly.

For my anniversary shows, I revisit a theme. I chose this one because there are so many songs about people named Molly. In addition, I will talk to all the Mollys I know. I know three Mollys.

That's happened tonight on KBOO - 90.7fm & kboo dot fm - from 12-3am. Tell all the Mollys you know! You probably know more than I do.

Preface To Molly Revisited (The 23rd Anniversary Show): 23 Years

This is undoubtedly something I say every year: I would never have thought I'd be doing this radio show twenty-three years after its first episode, which was on October 9, 2002. I don't really think much about the future. If you had asked me in 2002 how long I thought I'd be doing the show, I might have said, "I dunno, however long they let me do it." I would also have said I'd be living in Austin until I retired. Again - the future is not something I think about or have ever thought about.

When I started this show in 2003, I had not been on the radio for long. I had done a show from 1994 to 1999 on KVRX & had subbed some shows on KOOP, but I hadn't had a show for three years. I waited quite a long time for a show on KOOP. I had imagined I'd never get one.

When I did, I tried to make sure I recorded it - I did not record the vast majority of my KVRX shows. I saved as much as I could. I feel like I thought I might get to do it for a little while then things would change.

Since then lots of folks who did radio shows have stopped doing them. People who I would've thought would have had more longevity than I. The big difference is, they talked a lot about ending their time on the air. I don't really do that. I seriously can't imagine my life without a radio show. I suspect I'll be doing it for as long as there's a radio station that will air it - or who knows, maybe not. I continued Self Help Radio many times without a radio station. No one listened to it but that's never stopped me before.

So as I prepare to celebrate 23 years with a theme I first covered in 2007, I just have to say, gosh. It honestly wasn't something I thought I'd be doing for 23 years. But only because I don't really think about anything going off into the future. I waste far more time in my past, regretting many things I've done.

Not this radio show tho!

Coming Up Tomorrow On The Dickenbock Report: The Honeymooners

(image from here)

On October 5, 1951, on a television show called Cavalcade Of Stars, hosted by Jackie Gleason, a six-minute sketch introduced the world to the Honeymooners. Gleason later made thirty-nine episodes with the characters as a television series, ranked in 2013 by TV Guide as the thirteenth greatest TV show of all time.

Perhaps because of his rivalry with Jackie Gleason, or because he's had so many memorable honeymoons, Dick Dickenbock has asked us to report on that show & on honeymoons in general on this week's show.

Which happens Sunday, October 5, from noon to 1pm on XRAY FM - 91.1+107.1fm in Portland, online everywhere at xray dot fm.

Dick Dickenbock adds, "Homina homina homina."

This Week In Self Help: September 26 28 + 30

Though I am not in Portland - I'm visiting San Francisco - in fact the picture of that gate above was taken in the city - my wife said, "I like ornate gates, take a picture of it" so I did - I have a moment for my weekly rundown of the radio I've done. It'll be short & sweet.

September 26. I subbed a show on XRAY. Just playing music & saying dumb stuff.
Listen at XRAY. Listen at Self Help Radio.

September 28. The Dickenbock Report on XRAY reports on National Chewing Gum Day.

Listen at XRAY. Listen at Self Help Radio.

September 30. Self Help Radio on KBOO has a show about deadbeats.

Listen at KBOO. Listen at Self Help Radio.

September 30. Corporate Standardized Programming on KBOO plays all new releases.

Listen at KBOO (after Self Help Radio). Listen at Self Help Radio.

At the Self Help Radio website you may need the username SHR & password selfhelp to listen.

That was all. Back to my regularly scheduled vacation.

Self Help Radio 093025: Deadbeats

A show that neither condemns nor condones the deadbeat. It's just a lot of songs, you know.

There are also conversation & some information imparted. But mainly lots of songs. One person called in & wondered if he were a deadbeat. As we were discussing it, he told me, "You know a lot about deadbeats!" I said, "Well, I'm doing a show about them."

Listen to that show now or anytime at either the KBOO website or at the Self Help Radio website. At the latter you may need a username & password - user SHR & selfhelp respectively. Lots of stuff happened on the show - most of it is listed below.

The rest of this day I will play the deadbeat.

Self Help Radio Deadbeats Show

"Deadbeat" Wyldlife _Out On Your Block_

"Deadbeat" Lightning Love _Blonde Album_

"Deadbeat" Cato Salsa Experience _A Good Tip For A Good Time_

introduction & definitions

"Deadbeat Club" The B-52's _Cosmic Thing_

"Dead Beat Descendent" The Fall _Seminal Live_

"From A Deadbeat To An Old Greaser" Jethro Tull _Too Old To Rock & Roll: Too Young To Die!_

"Deadbeat Daddy" Gungadin _Introducing_

"Deadbeat" Pardoner _Peace Loving People_

interview with deadbeat mom Nancy Dean

"Dead Beat Dance" The Damned _The Return Of The Living Dead (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack)_

"The Deadbeat" That Petrol Emotion _Manic Pop Thrill_

"Deadbeat" The Ocean Party _The Sun Rolled Off The Hills_

"Deadbeat Girl" Day Wave _Hard To Read_

"Deadbeat" Mint Royale _On The Ropes_

interview with my deadbeat friend Jarvis

"Deadbeat" Charts _Love You To Death_

"Deadbeat" Prismatic Shapes _Deadbeat_

"Deadbeat Boy" Avalon Lurks _Deadbeat Boy_

"Deadbeat Shiver" Generationals _Reader As Detective_

"Deadbeat Summer" Neon Indian _Psychic Chasms_

a discussion about deadbeat parents

"Deadbeat Heart" The Graves Brothers Deluxe _Gonna Happen To You_

"Playin' In Time With The Deadbeat" Slug Guts _Playin' In Time With The Deadbeat_

"Deadbeat" A Place To Bury Strangers _Exploding Head_

"Deadbeat Party" Soho _Thug_

"Deadbeat" Revenge _Gun World Porn_

conclusion & goodbye

"Deadbeat" Lizzie No _Halfsies_

"Deadbeat Hits" Futurebirds _Hotel Parties_

Whither Deadbeats?

(image from here)

After confessing yesterday that my own father was a deadbeat, you might think I myself might be on the verge of an admission that I too am a deadbeat. But far from it! I am mostly responsible & honor my commitments - I do three radio shows a week & sometimes more. I am a bit lazy, true, but if I promise to do something, I do it. & I have financially supported myself & others - some of whom were probably deadbeats. No, this show is neither a celebration nor indictment of the deadbeat in me. Or really of any deadbeats.

It came into my head earlier this year when I was putting together my 1989 show. Two records released that year - the Fall's Seminal Live & the B-52's Cosmic Thing - featured songs with deadbeat in the title. I wondered if that might be something that would be a good theme for the show. It wasn't something I thought about until just recently when a remastered version of Seminal Live was released. I was like, Oh yeah, didn't I want to do a radio show about deadbeats? & now I shall.

Tonight from midnight to 2am on 90.7fm in town & kboo dot fm everywhere. I wonder - with the show on so late - how many people who might be listening are deadbeats?

Preface To Deadbeats: Deadbeat Dad

That's an old picture of my father. I don't recognize that person. It was taken probably over a decade before I was born. When I show this picture to people who know me, they say, "You got his ears."

My father was a deadbeat dad. The Wikipedia dictionary defines a deadbeat dad as "A man, especially one who is divorced or estranged from his partner, who fails to provide monetary child support when he is legally required to do so." My father got a head start on being a deadbeat dad before his marriage ended. He proved unable to provide for his family.

Why was that? Because he was a drunk. An alcoholic. Drink began to control him long before I came along, & drink caused my mother to leave him around the time I was four years old. After the divorce he was ordered to pay child support for me, my sister, & my brothers, but he never did. My mother complained about it, but she knew he didn't have the money so didn't fight it - she despised him but didn't want him to end up in jail.

One of my greatest regrets is that I never really talked to him about his life. Not that he would've been terribly forthcoming but who knows. What I know about him I know mainly from conversations I have had with my sisters. My mother was something of an unreliable narrator - he hurt her quite deeply. The stories my sisters have told me have some degree of unreliability too - he preferred them to his sons & they returned his adoration - but neither of them - my late sister Pat or my sister Karin - had any illusions about his disease. So while I take their stories with a grain of salt, I understand they're told with a modicum of love my mother or brothers couldn't muster.

For myself, I didn't feel any resentment about the lack of child support because I don't think I knew I was owed it. My sister Pat in around 1986 or 1987 - or maybe later - negotiated a deal with my father that he would loan me some money I needed for college. I think we understood he was giving it to me, not loaning it. I certainly did not worry about repaying it. I simply had to go to his tiny apartment - he had been sober for some years at this point - to get it myself. It was a weird & uncomfortable moment.

My father died in 1991. He was 64. Years of alcohol abuse took their toll. My fundamental feeling about him is one of regret. I simply never knew him. & I feel a little guilty calling him a deadbeat dad but. You know. By definition, he was.

Coming Up Tomorrow On The Dickenbock Report: National Chewing Gum Day

(image from here)

September 28 is National Chewing Gum Day. Why is that? Is bubblegum celebrated as well? You do have to chew it to get it to the consistency where you can blow bubbles, don't you? Or this just about gum that though flavorful is specifically for chewing?

These are the sorts of questions our reporters will be asking to the powers-that-be in our investigative manner. We will get to the bottom of it. In sixty minutes or less.

Tomorrow. Sunday, September 28. From noon to 1pm. On 91.1+107.1fm in war-torn Portland. Online in war-town everywhere at xray dot fm.

This Week In Self Help: September 19 21 + 23

Here's a picture of a lonely beach off the Oregon coast. Yep, that's the Pacific Ocean out there. It's a propos nothing, I just don't have a lot of time to write this - I'm on the radio on XRAY this afternoon (I'll note that next week). This was my past week in radio.

On Friday the 19th on KBOO I played some new releases on The Songcircle.
Listen on the KBOO website. Listen on the Self Help Radio website.

On Sunday the 21st on XRAY I celebrated Leonard Cohen's birthday on The Dickenbock Report.

Listen on the XRAY website. Listen on the Self Help Radio website.

On Tuesday the 23rd on KBOO I made a show about whips on Self Help Radio.

Listen on the KBOO website. Listen on the Self Help Radio website.

On Tuesday the 23rd on KBOO I played music by artists we lost in March 2025 on Corporate Standardized Programming,

Listen on the KBOO website (after Self Help Radio). Listen on the Self Help Radio website.

Remember! If you listen on the Self Help Radio website, you might need the username SHR & the password selfhelp!

Now - off to do another radio show.

Self Help Radio 092325: Whips

Sorry for the crude drawing of the whip up there. I couldn't find any decent pics of a whip that were in the public domain or had decent Creative Commons licenses. It really only proves I didn't design the Self Help Radio logo.

Also: I have a confession to make. I was a little tired last night & I was on the phone & I accidentally played a song twice. Not in a row. But I corrected it for the file on my website. So my last airbreak has me apologizing for playing the song twice but on the file on the Self Help Radio website it doesn't happen. Luckily no one really ever listens to my shows or else I'd be deeply embarrassed! As it is, I am only shallowly embarrassed.

Otherwise you know the same old thing. Find the show at the KBOO website or at the Self Help Radio website. For the latter, you might need the username SHR & the password selfhelp. Most everything that happens on the show is below.

Careful with that whip!

Self Help Radio Whip Show

"The Whip" Frantics _Las Vegas Grind Part 1_

"Do The Whip" Kitty & Sheeny Lanier_ Do The Whip_

"The Whip" Flame 'N' King _Whip! Wobble! & Grind!_

introduction & definitions

"Whip It" Devo _Freedom Of Choice_

"Whip In My Valise" Adam & The Ants _Dirk Wears White Sox_

"Worship The Whip" Be Your Own Pet _Mommy_

"Pussywhipped Satan" Bill Hicks _Arizona Bay_

"Kool Whip" Austin Lounge Lizards _Creatures From The Black Saloon_

interview with whip manufacturer Jerry Townsend

"Leathery Whip" Aldous Harding _Warm Chris_

"Whipping Boy (Remix)" Ben Harper _The Rebirth Of Cool Phive_

"Whip It Out" Neal Brennan _Women & Black Dudes_

"Black Whip" Chapter & The Verse _Go Blue: The Life & Soul Of Manchester_

"Whip Cracker" Genesis Owusu _Smiling With No Teeth_

interview with BDSM researcher Dr Peter Aspen

"Whips Of Holly" The Black Lips _Apocalypse Love_

"Whipping Continues" Thee Oh Sees _Castlemania_

"Whip My Valet" The Intelligence _Vintage Future_

"The Whip" Deaf Wish _Pain_

"Let It Whip" Dazz Band _Keep It Live_

interview with Whip Smarts founder Andrew Project

"Meat Whiplash" Fire Engines _Fond_

"Whiplash" Thigh Master _Early Times_

"Psychedelic Whiplash" The Weisstronauts _Featuring 'Jaunty'_

"Kitten With A Whip" Kitten _Sunday School EP_

"Kitten With A Whip" The Flytraps _Wild Card_

conclusion & goodbye

"Whip It On Me" Jessie Hill _Crescent City Soul: The Sound Of New Orleans 1947-1974_

"Whiplash" The Shells _Whiplash_

"Whip It" Treacherous Three _The Sugar Hill Records Story_

Whither Whips?

(image from here)

"Whither whips" is really fun to say. But if you say it too many times too fast you start to sound like you're drunk, or your brain is malfunctioning, or you're trying too hard to pretend to be a snake.

The truth is, I don't really know what made me think about doing a radio show about whips. Perhaps there are too many things going on & my brain decided it wasn't worth remembering. All I can tell you is, I wrote it on a list at some point this summer & then I had enough songs to make a show. It's like whatever inspired me disappeared with the crack of a whip.

Maybe the show will whip me into shape. It's happening tonight midnight to 2am on KBOO, which is 90.7 fm in town, & online at kboo dot fm. Unlike the whip, this show won't draw blood nor leave a mark. I hope!

Preface To Whips: A Handy Flowchart

Found a billion years ago on Reddit. Thought it might be handy in regards to this week's show.

Coming Up Tomorrow On The Dickenbock Report: Leonard Cohen's Birthday

(image from Wikipedia)

Had he lived, Leonard Norman Cohen would turn 91 years old tomorrow. The singer, songwriter, poet was born on September 21, 1934, & the staff & crew of the Dickenbock Report - superfans all - will celebrate his birthday in that annoying way we have of playing lots of his songs as performed by artists who admired & were inspired by him.

That's Sunday from 12 to 1pm on 91.1+107.1fm in Portland & online everywhere at xray dot fm.

This Week In Self Help: September 14 + 16

Don't know why that image is up there. Don't know why people leave things like that up when no self-respecting bird's going to use a birdhouse in such ill-repair.

This was my mostly simple week in radio.

On The Dickenbock Report on XRAY, I celebrated Mae Boren Axton's birthday with many songs she wrote & co-wrote. Listen at XRAY. Listen at Self Help Radio.

On Self Help Radio on KBOO, I played many more bits my friend Russell improvised for the show back in 2017 as "The Rev. Dr. Howard Gently." Listen at KBOO. Listen at Self Help Radio.

On Corporate Standardized Programming, I played lots of new releases. Listen at KBOO (after Self Help Radio). Listen at Self Help Radio.

That was it! Not a lot of cluttering up the airwaves with my nonsense!

Self Help Radio 091625: Howard Gently Year Four Continued Continued

2017 was a good year for Howard Gently. It was a weird year for Self Help Radio. My family (wife & pets) had moved back to Texas but I couldn't find a place for Self Help Radio there but kind folks in Kentucky continued to air it on a station called WLXU. Though my friend Russell lived in the Metroplex, we communicated most commonly on the computer, usually talking all Saturday afternoon long, ending by improvising a bit for the show. It seems Howard Gently showed up on nearly every episode of Self Help Radio that year. Now that Russell is gone, I am profoundly grateful that I have these recordings. & I hope that in sharing them I make you a fraction of the fan I am of him.

These are the 103rd to 114th appearances of Howard Gently on the show, airing starting on September 6 to ending on November 29, 2017. That's an awkward way to write that. Anyway, it's twelve bits plus music from shows that aired between early September & late November 2017. Russell would have tuned 59 years old yesterday. I wish I had done some kind of Howard Gently retrospective in his lifetime.

Listen to the show now either at the KBOO web page or at the Self Help Radio web page. You might need the username SHR & the password selfhelp at the ladder. I started with one of Russell's songs, then played a song from the show & the bit from that show. Details are below.

As Dr Gently would say, "Delighted."

Self Help Radio Howard Gently Year Four Continued Continued Show

"Real Life" Russell Miles _Real Life_

"River Guard" Smog _Knock Knock_

Howard Gently on the theme "Guards"<br>

"John, I'm Only Dancing" David Bowie _The Rise & Fall Of Ziggy Stardust & The Spiders From Mars_

Howard Gently on the theme "Dancing"<br>

"Lightning Strikes" Klaus Nomi _Klaus Nomi_

Howard Gently on the theme "Lightning"

"Draygo's Guilt" The Fall _The Wonderful & Frightening World Of The Fall_

Howard Gently on the theme "Guilt"<br>

"The Fox In The Snow" Belle & Sebastian _If You're Feeling Sinister_

Howard Gently on the theme "Foxes"<br>

"Memories (Can't Wait)" Talking Heads _The Name Of This Band Is Talking Heads_

Howard Gently on the theme "Memories"

"Sad Voice & Mock Face" George Carlin _When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?_

Howard Gently on the theme "Faces"<br>

"Catblack (The Wizard's Hat)" Tyrannosaurus Rex _Unicorn_

Howard Gently on the theme "Black Cats"<br>

"One Day (At A Time)" John Lennon _Mind Games_

Howard Gently on the theme "One Day"

"President Gas" The Psychedelic Furs _Forever Now_

Howard Gently on the theme "Gas"<br>

"Cosmic Thing" The B-52's _Cosmic Thing_

Howard Gently on the theme "Cosmic Things"

Howard Gently on the theme "Birthdays"

Whither Howard Gently Year Four Continued Continued?

My friend Russell put a few of his favorite Howard Gently bits on a Bandcamp page once upon a time. We had such fun doing this. Tonight's show continues to play all his appearances as that oily fellow in chronological order - all from late 2017. 2017 was a fun year for us - we talked almost every week & Dr. Gently appeared on almost every show. It's why this is the third installment of his bits from 2017. I am glad to celebrate my friend in this way.

That's what's happening on Self Help Radio tonight on KBOO from midnight to 2am - 90.7fm in Portland, kboo dot fm everywhere. Possibly even in the spirit realm!

Preface To Howard Gently Year Four Continued Continued: Here's A Picture Of My Dogs

This week I'm paying tribute to my dear friend Russell once more by playing lots of his appearances as the Rev Dr Howard Gently on my show. I think this is the tenth episode of Howard Gently bits. We're over a hundred of them. I have been listening to them today & they make me laugh out loud still.

One thing I keep meaning to do is to go through my old yearbooks (wherever they might be) & scan some pictures of young Russell. But since I haven't gotten around to doing that - I'll just share a picture of my dogs. I hope that's cool.

Coming Up On The Dickenbock Report: Mae Boren Axton's Birthday

(image from here)

On September 14, 1914, Mae Boren Axton was born. A Texas-born, Oklahoma-raised songwriter, she would come to greatest fame as a co-author of "Heartbreak Hotel," the song which gave Elvis Presley his first number one hit. But she wrote so many other songs, & became such an integral part of Music City, that she went on to become known as "The Queen Mother Of Nashville."

Tomorrow on the Dickenbock Report on XRAY, we'll celebrate her birthday with her many songs, & maybe play more than one version of "Heartbreak Hotel." That Sunday, September 14, from noon to 1pm, on 91.1+107.1fn in Portland, xray dot fm everywhere.

This Week In Self Help: September 5 7 9 + 11

One last not very good picture of the moon. This one you can almost make out its features. I need to get a real camera.

Here is this week:

Friday September 5: The Songcircle on KBOO. I played lots of my favorite Americana from ten years ago (2015):
Listen at KBOO dot fm | Listen at Self Help Radio dot net

Saturday September 7: The Dickenbock Report on XRAY. It was National Beer Lovers Dat.

Listen at XRAY dot fm | Listen at Self Help Radio dot net

Tuesday September 9: Self Help Radio on KBOO. The theme was moonlight.

Listen at KBOO dot fm | Listen at Self Help Radio dot net

Tuesday September 9: Corporate Standardized Programming on KBOO. Some artists we lost in March of this year.

Listen at KBOO dot fm (after Self Help Radio) | Listen at Self Help Radio dot net

Thursday September 11: Welcome To Your Good Day on XRAY. Just me subbing.

Listen at XRAY dot fm | (I haven't put the show on the Self Help Radio website yet)

On the Self Help Radio website you might need a username & password; that's SHR & selfhelp.

This coming week I won't be on the radio nearly as much, thank the gods.

Self Help Radio 090925: Moonlight

Last night - though I think it got cloudy during the show - I drove to KBOO under the light of a waning gibbous moon - I missed the full moon by one day! The moon was still high in the east as  I drove so it was behind me - alas, not lighting the way. I didn't see much of it on the way home.

But the show seemed somewhat popular - I got more requests than usual - but perhaps that's because it wasn't an obscure theme. Let that be a lesson to you, Gary! I was lucky to be able to fill about three-quarters of them.

Listen in the moonlight - or if you need some moonlight - at either the KBOO website or the Self Help Radio website. If you choose the later, you may need the username SHR & the password selfhelp to access. Everything that happened on the show is below.

Enjoy the moonlight!

Self Help Radio Moonlight Show

"Mr. Moonlight" The Beatles _Beatles For Sale_

"What A Little Moonlight Can Do" Peggy Lee _Jump For Joy_

"By The Light Of A Magical Moon" Tyrannosaurus Rex _A Beard Of Stars_

introduction & definitions

"Dancing In The Moonlight" Liza Minnelli _The Singer_

"All By Yourself In The Moonlight" Whispering Jack Smith _Me & My Shadow_

"Magic Is The Moonlight" Julie London _Julie London Sings Latin In A Satin Mood_

"Moonlight On Vermont" Captain Beefheart & His Magic Band _Trout Mask Replica_

"Moonlight Africa" Edikanfo _The Pace Setters_

our favorite librarian Carole stops by!

"Moondance" Champion Sisters _In The Mood_

"Yes, There Ain't No Moonlight" Louis Prima & His New Orleans Gang _1937-1939_

"Moonlight On The Beach" The Lewis Sisters _The Complete Motown Singles | Vol. 5: 1965_

"Underwater Moonlight" The Soft Boys _Underwater Moonlight_

"Moonlight In Glory" Brian Eno & David Byrne _My Life In The Bush Of Ghosts_

interview with Moonlight Society founder Jarvis

"Moonlight Mile" Lee Fields & The Expressions _Faithful Man_

"Moonlight In Vermont" Billie Holiday _Songs For Distingué Lovers_

"By The Light Of The Silvery Moon" Fats Waller & His Rhythm _1942-1943_

"Moonlight" Cherry Vanilla _Venus D'Vinyl_

"Birds In The Moonlight" The Titillators _That's The Night_

interview with business consultant Timothy Bell

"Let's Dance" The Futureheads _The Eighties_

"I Remember Moonlight" The Crookes _Chasing After Ghosts_

"Moonlight Darling" Carnival Park _Her Kindercrush_

"Goodbye Moonlight" Falcon Jane _Legacy_

"Moonlight Devil" Divisionists _Daybreak_

conclusion & goodbye

"Who Killed Mr. Moonlight?" Bauhaus _Burning From The Inside_

Whither Moonlight?

Yesterday I mentioned that I've tried unsuccessfully for years now to take a decent picture of the moon. Almost always I try to take pictures of the full moon, since that's the most impressive. One reason it's so impressive is that the night time world seems so strangely illuminated by a full moon. When that is the case, I often wonder what it was like being out & about when there was only the light of the moon to guide you. I don't think I've experienced that except perhaps when camping - & even then I don't know if I've ever been camping under a full moon.

It was one of those moonlit nights this summer when I thought maybe moonlight might be a good theme for the show.

Tonight, should we be able to see the moon in cloudy Portland, it's waning gibbous - I miss the full moon by one day. Hopefully you'll be able to listen to Self Help Radio in plenty of moonlight - but even if you can't, there'll be lots of moonlight coming from the radio.

The show is on from midnight to 2am on 90.7fm in Portland, & online everywhere at kboo dot fm. Altho maybe not on the moon.

Preface To Moonlight: Prepare For Some Terrible Photos Of The Moon!

At some point in time, around 2014, I noticed my wife had a digital camera she wasn't using. I asked if I could use it. She replied - she is averse to giving definitive yes or no answers - she said, "You can if you want to." So I started taking pictures, not very good pictures, I don't have much of an eye, but I posted them to Facebook anyway, since I post pictures of my animals there, & I posted them to my Tumblr blog, which I wasn't doing anything else with. (It's here by the way. I still post pictures there.)

One of the things I love doing is looking at the moon. I would love to have a decent enough camera to take really good pictures of the moon. But I do not. It doesn't mean I don't try. Another thing I love to do is use the pictures I take to illustrate the themes for my radio show. It means I don't violate the copyright of another artist/photographer & get my radio stations in trouble. It also means I don't have to look around for a photo to illustrate my show.

The show this week has the theme "moonlight." I have taken lots of terrible pictures of the moon. Which means I am taking pictures of moonlight. Which means I get to share with you those pictures. I apologize. But also, I am glad! Otherwise I'd have to spend time looking for pictures of moonlight when you can't imagine the number of songs that mention moonlight I am going to have to listen to!

Coming Up Tomorrow On The Dickenbock Report: National Beer Lovers Day

September 7 is National Beer Lovers Day. While noon may be a little early in the day to be enjoying a beer, The Dickenbock Report hopes you enjoy reporting - including musical reports - about beer.

That's tomorrow, Sunday, from noon to 1pm, on 91.1+107.1fm in Portland, & online everywhere at xray dot fm. If we're lucky, Dick Dickenbock will tell that story about how he & Foster Brooks used to trade places & no one noticed (for the millionth time).

This Week In Self Help: August 29 + 31 & September 2

Above is a picture of the walls of Edinburgh Castle taken when I visited Scotland in 2016. It's pretty much the only picture of a castle I've ever taken. & since Self Help Radio this week had the theme "Avalon," it's also the closest picture I have that relates to that theme. Otherwise it would be more pictures of mist & fog.

Here's what I was allowed to get away with on the radio this past week:

On XRAY FM on August 29 I subbed an afternoon show, just playing songs & tawking.
Listen at the XRAY website. Listen at the Self Help Radio website.

On XRAY FM on August 31 I had an episode of The Dickenbock Report reporting on National Zoo Awareness Day.

Listen at the XRAY website. Listen at the Self Help Radio website.

On KBOO on September 2 was that aforementioned Self Help Radio episode about Avalon.

Listen at the KBOO website. Listen at the Self Help Radio website.

On KBOO on September 2 as well right after Self Help Radio I had an episode of Corporate Standardized Programming wherein I played lots of new releases.

Listen at the KBOO website (after Self Help Radio). Listen at the Self Help Radio website.

Of course I must remind you that if you listen at the Self Help Radio website you might be asked for a username & password. Those are SHR & selfhelp respectively.

Wisely Portland did not let me be on the radio the remaining 162 hours of the week.