Whither Wizards? (Halloween 2025!)

(comic by Tom Gauld)

Halloween is a holiday I celebrate every year on the show. But I don't like to play the same Halloween songs every year so instead I select a single theme - an aspect of Halloween, or a monster, something like that, & let that be the focus od my Halloween show. & I have not repeated Halloween themes in my many years on Self Help Radio which means I must find a new theme each year. That means I can never again on Self Help Radio have Halloween shows about ghosts & vampires, about zombies & werewolves, about witches & mummies & monsters in general & Frankenstein in particular.  Scary places weren't neglected, either - there have been shows about haunted houses, graveyards, ghost towns, even hell.  Are you afraid or black cats or spiders or clowns or scarecrows or all kinds of horrible things attacking - becayse there have been Halloween shows about those terrible creatures too! Some terrifying concepts, too, have come under the show's scrutiny: voodoo & nightmares & death have been nervously explored.

(If you're like me & counted the themes & said "Hey those are only 20 themes! Hasn't the show been on from like 23 years?" The answer is I didn't do a Halloween show one year, & the first show was a general Halloween show, & this will be the Halloween episode of the show's 23rd year.)

All of these shows can be listened to by clicking the link above or simply visiting the Self Help Radio Halloween show page. It looks like I do need to add shows for the last two years though eep!

Do I despair of running out of Halloween themes? Oh indeed. But this year I fear the show might not be too scary - but I think it will capture some of the magic of Halloween. It's a show about wizards. In addition to songs about wizards, I'll be speaking to some wizards too - all night long!

That's at the Witching Hour - midnight to 2am tonight - on 90.7fm in Portland & online at kboo dot fm. I don't mind if you don't listen but some of the wizards I'll talk to might so - maybe listen or get turned into a frog?

Preface To Wizards (Halloween 2025): Portland Halloween

Portland loves Halloween. I'm tempted to say the city loves Halloween more than any other holiday but I don't really celebrate many other holidays - there are lots of Christmas decorations during Christmas but that doesn't charm me as much as displays of things that frighten you.

Although really I don't celebrate Halloween much either. I don't dress up & I don't decorate the house. As a result, very few children make it by the house - & they don't tend to like the vegan treats we serve. But I've always made Halloween shows - every Halloween since the beginning of the show. & while I feel like I am likely to run out of Halloween themes fairly soon, I've scraped by each year - this year with a theme that's not exactly scary but is a common Halloween costume - wizards.

Above is a picture of a yard in my neighborhood which shows some of the cleverness on display by the people who are really, really into Halloween. This particular yard makes my wife laugh every time we pass - it's on our dog walk route you see.

There is I suppose no real explanation for why the theme is what it is this week but I'll take a crack at it tomorrow anyway.

Coming Up Tomorrow On The Dickenbock Report: Frankenstein!

(found here)

Portland loves Halloween. Dick Dickenbock loves Halloween. Next Friday is Halloween. Tomorrow there will be a special report on Halloween. This year Dick Dickenbock wanted to explore one of his favorite monsters from his childhood - Frankenstein's monster!

That's tomorrow, Sunday, October 26, from noon to 1pm on XRAY FM, 107.1fm & xray dot fm. If we're lucky, we'll get to hear for four thousandth time Dick Dickenbock's Boris Karloff story. Yay,

This Week In Self Help: October 17 19 + 21

(statue by Iván Argote, image from here)

Another week, another radio. I know that doesn't make any sense but I do these recaps every week & I feel like I should say something new instead of "here's another week of dumb radio I made." But - anyway.

Friday October 17 on The Songcircle on KBOO I played lots of new releases.
Listen at KBOO dot fm | Listen at Self Help Radio dot net

Sunday October 19 on The Dickenbock Report on XRAY I celebrated Marjorie Tallchief's birthday by playing songs about ballet.

Listen at XRAY dot fm | Listen at Self Help Radio dot net

Tuesday October 21 on Self Help Radio I made a radio show about pigeons.

Listen at KBOO dot fm | Listen at Self Help Radio dot net

Tuesday October 21 on Corporate Standardized Programming I played a lot of new releases.

Listen at KBOO dot fm (after Self Help Radio) | Listen at Self Help Radio dot net

At Self Help Radio dot net you might need the username SHR & password selfhelp to access.

Another week, another radio post. Okay, that makes more sense. Except all I post about is my radio shows!

Self Help Radio 102125: Pigeons

A nice program about a nice bird that is generally unloved & misunderstood. Boo! to those who dislike the pigeon! They are stout & cute & make neat sounds & you know what? We domesticated them. They traveled along with us. They're our responsibility! So there! (Read more about that here.)

Anyway, enjoy all these songs about pigeons. Plus the silly interviews. The show can be listened to at the KBOO web page & at the Self Help Radio web page. For the latter, remember the username SHR & password selfhelp. Everything that happened on the show is below.

A group of pigeons is of course a flock. A group of pigeon songs is this week's show!

Self Help Radio Pigeon Show

"It Ain't No Fun To Be A Pigeon" Homer & Jethro _There's Nothing Like An Old Hippie_

"My Pigeon's Gone" Charles Calhoun _The R&B Years 1956, Vol. 1_

"Little Pigeon" Chuck Sims _That'll Flat Git It! Vol. 9: Rockabilly From The Vaults Of Decca Records_

"Homin' Pigeon" The Rhythmettes _Doo-Wop Delights, Vol. 6_

introduction & definitions

"Carrier Pigeon" The Kingston Trio _Sold Out_

"Pigeon In The Park" The Gaslight Singers _The Gaslight Singers_

"Poisoning Pigeons In The Park" Tom Lehrer _The Remains Of Tom Lehrer_

"Les Deux Pigeons" Charles Aznavour _Qui ?_

"Mi Palomita" Yma Sumac _Fuego Del Ande_

interview with Chad Mapplethorpe of Pigeon Friends

"Pigeons" Laurie Styvers _Gemini Girl: The Complete Hush Recordings_

"Passenger Pigeons" Handsome Family _Twilight_

"Eight Clay Pigeons" Ella Jenkins _Counting Games & Rhythms For The Little Ones_

"Pigeon" Cannibal Ox _The Cold Vein_

"Pigeonometry" Aesop Rock _Integrated Tech Solutions_

interview with poetry teacher Rod Farmer

"Stool Pigeon" Vic Godard & Subway Sect _What's The Matter Boy?_

"The Pigeon" Jeffrey Lewis & Los Bolts _Manhattan_

"Pigeon Named Crow" Nicki Jaine _Live_

"Pigeons" National Lampoon _Radio Dinner_

"Pigeons" Bill Callahan _Pigeons_

a conversation with two pigeons

"Clay Pigeons" John Prine _Fair & Square_

"Pigeons" Weird Al Yankovic & Wendy Carlos _Peter & The Wolf/Carnival Of The Animals - Part II_

"Pigeons" The Hundred In The Hands _The Hundred In The Hands_

"Inner City Pigeon" Marching Church _Telling It Like It Is_

"Carrier Pigeon" Surfer Blood _Snowdonia_

conclusion & goodbyean angry caller calls in
then conclusion & goodbye

"Stop That Pigeon" Reverend Horton Heat _Saturday Morning (Cartoons' Greatest Hits)_

"Pigeon In Your Tongue" The Mommyheads _Coming Into Beauty_

"Pigeon" Cloth _Secret Measure_

Whither Pigeons?

It's always a lot of fun to a radio show about an animal. I feel like I could do it every week but for some reason I don't do it that often - the last animal I did a Self Help Radio episode about was the snail! That was back in March. I was feeling it was perhaps time for another show about an animal.

(Gosh I don't even wanna check back to see how long it's been since I've done an episode about a bird!)

During the summer I began to be regularly approached by bold crows to beg for dog treats from me. One of them seemed quite grizzled & was braving some kids playing soccer so when he returned a few times I started calling him David Peckham. David disappeared over time but many different crows now swoop past & land next to me & wait for me to crumble something to toss to them. (The dogs are usually led away by my wife or they will lunge for the treats - & scare the birds.)

Reflecting on this, I thought, you know, I should do a show about crows. Sadly, I have already done one - way back in 2016. I was lamenting this on a dog walk - not through the park but in a neighborhood - & my wife pointed to some pigeons gathered on some wires & said, "Why not do a show about pigeons?"

That was the inspiration for this program - a show about pigeons inspired by crows.

We'll fly the coop tonight on KBOO from midnight to 2am. That's 90.7fm in town, & kboo dot fm everywhere. Dang it, I don't have a pigeon pun to end this - but I had a lot to crow about.

Preface To Pigeons: The Mystery Of The Disappering Radio Show

(I'm sorry, I don't remember where I found this)

As I get older, as I do more radio shows, it becomes far more likely I'll make a mistake & repeat a show. I try to make sure that doesn't happen but there's always the danger it will. This weekend as I was gathering songs for the upcoming pigeon show, I found a folder created in 2022 which was labelled "pigeons" & which had dozens of songs in it. I kinda panicked. Did I already do a pigeon show? If so, why wasn't it on my list of shows?

Of course I was grateful - I had done a lot of the work for the show three years ago! But I couldn't for the life of me figure out what the hell had happened. I do a lot of shows. I can't possibly remember all of them.

Luckily I keep a sort of journal & the files had all been gathered at a particular date. In 2022, closest to the date on the folder, was a Thursday - which was when I did The Dickenbock Report on Freeform Portland, I believe. The station was still closed, I was still recording the show the night before at home. I cannot for the life of me find any pigeon-related holidays or national days but apparently there was a reason for a show about pigeons on September 1, 2022.

But why didn't it happen? Because I went to see a show that night with my wife. & I wrote in my little journal that I was too tired to record & just didn't have enough time. But I did write, I might do a pigeon show one day though.

& that day will be tomorrow night! But what made me think of doing a pigeon show over three years later? I'll try to answer that tomorrow.

Coming Up Tomorrow On The Dickenbock Report: Marjorie Tallchief's Birthday

(image from here)

On October 19, 1926, Marjorie Tallchief was born. This extraordinary person was the first Native American to be named première danseuse étoile in the Paris Opera Ballet. The staff of the Report - including of course the head honcho Dick Dickenbock - are huge fans, so it was decided to report about her in particular, & ballet in general, tomorrow on The Dickenbock Report.

That's noon to 1pm pn 91.1+107.1fn in Portland, & online everywhere at xray dot fm.

It will be the second of two shows during XRAY's Fall Fund Drive, so we remind you, to help support the station that airs The Dickenbock Report, click here. If you'd like to donate to support the Dickenbock Report, click here. The money goes to XRAY, it's just to show Dick Dickenbock you care.

This Week In Self Help: October 12 + 14

Lotsa different curtain choices in this apartment building! Here is what I did on the radio this week.

The Dickenbock Report (October 12): Farmers Day. Listen at XRAY | Listen at Self Help Radio.
Self Help Radio (October 14): A show about curtains. Listen at KBOO | Listen at Self Help Radio.
Corporate Standardized Programming (Ocrtober 14): Music from artists we lost in March & April of this year. Listen at KBOO (after Self Help Radio) | Listen at Self Help Radio.

Two reminders:
1, you can support The Dickenbock Report during XRAY's Fall Fundraiser by donating here.
2, you might need the username SHR & the password selfhelp to access shows on the Self Help Radio website.

That's it! Curtains closed.

Self Help Radio 101425: Curtains

The curtains were up on the show this morning, but now they are down. Or were they open & are now closed? I feel like I'd be a terrible stage manager. I wouldn't know whether the curtains were supposed to be raised or lowered or whether the actors were to emerge from them.

My wife by the way is mad at me because I didn't tell this curtain story last night. In the summer of 1980 I adopted a little white kitten whom I named Beatrice. Beatrice was a wild child & one of the things she loved to do was run up the cheap curtains in my duplex. I mainly left them open because it was the one big window I had. Years later when I was to leave the duplex, we thought about closing the curtains in the hopes it might disguise any areas we couldn't entirely clean so we'd get the deposit back. We closed the curtains - & little pinpricks of light shone through the entire width of them. Beatrice's claws had left uncountable holes. We laughed - & left the curtains open.

There are better curtain stories on the show. Which you can listen to at either the KBOO web page or the Self Help Radio web page. If you choose the latter, remember - username SHR + password selfhelp. The stuff that happened on the show is listed below.

& now - the curtain falls.

Self Help Radio Curtains Show

"Behind Curtains" The Five Stairsteps _The Five Stairsteps_

"Water Curtain" Peter Ivers' Band with Yolande Bavan _Knight Of The Blue Communion_

"Curtain" Marden Hill _Amen (Last Sunshine Deserts Of Él Records)_

introduction & definitions

"Keeping The Curtains Closed" The Jazz Butcher _Fishcotheque_

"The Curtain Long" Bernthøler _Merry Lines In The Sky_

"Audrey's Curtains" The Days _The Sound Of Leamington Spa Volume 4_

"Curtains" Skating For Cover _Rituals_

"Internet Curtains" Denim _Novelty Rock_

interview with curtain inspectors Drew & Priscilla Carter

"When The Curtain Calls For You" Jonathan Fire*Eater _Wolf Songs For Lambs_

"Curtains" Exene Cervenka _Running Sacred_

"Hidden Curtain" Marbles _Pyramid Landing & Other Favorites_

"Curtains 1 & 2" Throwing Muses _Purgatory/Paradise_

"Through The Curtain" The Steinbecks _Kick To Kick With The Steinbecks_

interview with National Curtain Museum docent Cory Dwyer

"Like A Curtain Falling" The Strange Death Of Liberal England _Drown Your Heart Again_

"This Curtain Call" Kitty Kat Fan Club _Dreamy Little You_

"Curtains!?" Timber Timbre _Hot Dreams_

"Velvet Curtain" Anna Tivel _The Question_

"The Final Mrs. Curtain" Elvis Costello & The Imposters _Look Now_

interview with Neighborhood Association President Max Cowell

"Cowboy Curtains" Tobin Sprout _The Universe & Me_

"Curtains" Linda Smith & Nancy Andrews _A Passing Cloud_

"Blank Curtain" Cola _Deep In View_

"Black Curtains In The Bag" Billy Nomates _Cacti_

"Curtain" Horse Jumper Of Love _Disaster Trick_

conclusion & goodbye

"Torn Curtain" Television _Marquee Moon_

"The Curtain" Mary Ocher _Power & Exclusion From Power_

"The Curtain" Deer Tick _Negativity_

Whither Curtains?

Summer lingers in Portland, it's one of the things I love about the city & the season. This town is known for gloomy days, cold & rain, but we have bright summers that have long daylight hours that sadly don't last. I spent a lot of this past summer on a bike, riding places, sometimes with my wife, sometimes alone, going to get food, going to see shows, going to parks with the dogs. I haven't yet managed to ride my bikes to my radio shows - Self Help Radio is on at night & my wife thinks it might be unsafe (because of not being able to see hazards, not because of crime or anything) & The Dickenbock Report airs on a station too far away - I am an old feller & I am woefully out of shape.

There's a meditative quality to bike riding I am told but I am a terrible meditator so I tend to take in all the things I am cycling by & one day probably in June as the day was ending I decided to take a tally of the front windows of the homes I was riding past - did they have curtains or blinds? were they open or not? In my neighborhood I was saddened to see that blinds outnumbered curtains - & a little shocked that lots of people let you look into their homes as night falls!

With curtains appearing to be the unpopular choice, I thought I'd do my best to support them by making a radio show about them. & I'll do that tonight.

Self Help Radio is on from midnight to 2am on 90.7fm in Portland & kboo dot fm everywhere. KBOO doesn't have curtains so sadly I can't give you a glimpse behind the curtains of the show. It's just all there for everyone to see. Or at least hear.

Preface To Curtains: Art Collected

Here is some art I've found online. It's called "Beaded Curtain" & it's by Hurvin Anderson. You can find out more about him on his Wikipedia page. I almost certainly found this image on a Tumblr blog. Even though the kids abandoned Tumblr years ago, I still have a Tumblr page so I still wander around there, wondering what folks are posting. I wish I kept track of where I might find stuff but wow that would be a lot of work.

Alas Gurple Image Search mostly finds the image here.

Okay, time to go back to listening to songs about curtains. There are a surprisingly large number of them!

Coming Up Tomorrow On The Dickenbock Report: Farm Day

(found on Reddit)

October 12 is Farmer's Day. We'll report on farms & farmers. That's simple enough.

It's also XRAY's Fall Fund Drive. We'd love for you to donate! Do that here. Or, if you'd like to specifically support The Dickenbock Report, you can do that here. Of course all the money raised goes to help XRAY - the station foolish enough to air the Report in the first place.

See you on the farm Sunday, October 12, from noon to 1pm, on 91.1+107.1fm in Portland, & online at xray dot fm.

This Week In Self Help: October 5 6 + 7

Silver balloons floating in a room. Silver for Self Help Radio's 23rd anniversary. Don't overthink it. It's an image for a blog post. Taken I think at the Andy Warhol Museum many moons ago. Here's what happened this week.

The Dickenbock Report on XRAY. Sunday October 5th.

The anniversary of the first appearance of The Honeymooners leads to a show about honeymoons.
Listen at XRAY dot fm. Listen at Self Help Radio dot net.

A KBOO Sub Show on KBOO. Monday October 6th.
I played a bunch of interesting sounds I recently come across. KBOO does not archive sub shows but.

Look at the playlist on Spinitron. Listen at Self Help Radio dot net.

Self Help Radio on KBOO. Tuesday October 7th.

For my 23rd anniversary show, I revisited a theme from 2007 - Molly.

Listen at KBOO dot fm. Listen at Self Help Radio dot net.

Corporate Standardized Programming on KBOO. Tuesday October 7th.

In honor of SHR's 23rd Anniversary, I played the songs original played on the 2007 Molly show.

Listen at KBOO dot fm (after Self Help Radio). Listen at Self Help Radio dot net.

That seems a lot, it really wasn't. Remember, at the Self Help Radio page, you might need the username SHR & the password selfhelp. Happy anniversary!

Self Help Radio 100725: Molly Revisited - The 23rd Anniversary Show

(original image here*)

Twenty-three years of this nonsense! I guess the most hopeful thing is that there's no chance I have twenty-three more years in me!

The silver plate is the 23rd anniversary gift. I gave myself one. The show features lots of Molly songs I didn't play in the original 2007 show. Plus I talked to all the Mollys I know. I only know three Mollys.

Listen to the show with a Molly you know - or on the 23rd anniversary of something - or whyever you listen to radio shows - at either the KBOO website or at the Self Help Radio website. You might need the username SHR & password selfhelp at the latter. Everything that happens on the show is below.

Seriously I wish I knew more Mollys.

Self Help Radio Molly Revisited (23rd Anniversary Show)

"Run, Mollie, Run" Henry Thomas _Texas Worried Blues (Complete Recorded Works 1927-1929)_

"I'm In Love With Molly (with Red Foley)" Ernest Tubb _Let's Say Goodbye Like We Said Hello_

"Three Girls Named Molly, Doin' The Hully Gully" The Johnny Otis Show _The Greatest Johnny Otis Show_

introduction + old airbreak

"Molly Malone" Joni Mitchell _Archives – Volume 1: The Early Years 1963-1967_

"Good Golly Miss Molly" The Swinging Blue Jeans _Really!! They Sing It In German Vol. III_

"Mami Molly's Makkaroni Band (feat Gunter Gabriel)" Trude Herr _Ich Will Keine Schokolade_

"Molly" The Motifs _Storm In The Garage_

"Molly Bloom" Tom Paxton _6_

interview with my friend Molly in Virginia

"1952 Vincent Black Lightning" Richard Thompson _Rumor & Sigh_

"Old Molly Metcalfe" Jake Thackray _Bantam Cock_

"Molly Says" The dB's _The Sound Of Music_

"Molly" Fossil _Fossil_

"Handsome Molly" Bill Morrissey _Standing Eight_

interview with my friend Molly in Kentucky

"Sam & Molly Are In Love" Little Name _How To Swim & Live_

"Molly" Eux Autres _Cold City_

"Molly Dodd" Six Cents & Natalie _When Punk Fell To Earth_

"Molly" Pins _Wild Nights_

"Molly" Ratboys _GN_

interview with my friend Molly in Portland

"Molly's Lips" Eugenius _It Ain't Rocket Science, It's Eugenius_

"Through The Eyes Of Molly" Damien Youth _Sunfield_

"No Title (Molly)" John Maus _A Collection Of Rarities & Previously Unreleased Material_

"Molly Bond" Peggy Seeger _Bring Me Home_

"Molly" Entrance _Book Of Changes_

conclusion & goodbye

"Suddenly Molly" Heart-Sick Groans _Gentlemen, If You Ain't Right, Get Right!_

"Molly" Palehound _Dry Food_

"Melancholy Molly" Seablite _Lemon Lights_

*This file is made available under the Creative Commons CC0 1.0 Universal Public Domain Dedication.