Whither Devotion (Valentine's Day 2026)?

Every year on Self Help Radio, I explore a different Valentine's Day-related theme on Valentine's Day. In the past, I have covered the topics Affection, Boyfriends, Crushes, Dating, Falling In Love, Famous Lovers, Flirting, Girlfriends, Hate, The Heart, Heartbreak, Jealousy, Love, Love Is..., Love Songs, Lovesick, Make You Mine, Roses, Sweethearts, True Love, &Valentines. That's a lot of Valentine's Day related topics! Like with Halloween I do fear I will eventually run out of subjects for the holiday. I mentioned that on a show last year & asked for a theme for this year's Valentine's Day show - & someone suggested "devotion."

It seemed a good idea - Valentine's Day is certainly a holiday that can be used to demonstrate one's devotion to another. I said sure! & I didn't think ahead to other forms of devotion - like devotion to one's duty, or even worse, one's devotion to one's faith. I didn't realize that until I had already done enough work to make the show. So we'll be discussion that kind of devotion, too!

So happy Valentine's Day a few days early & listen to my valentine to you tonight from midnight to 2am on 90.7fm in town, kboo dot fm everywhere. I know, you would have preferred a box of candy instead but this is what I'm giving you this year.

Preface To Devotion: Oh No A Religious Valentine's Day

There is an observation I've made before about taking pictures - they're a little like diary entries. But like diary entries, they can lack context. For example, I took this picture in Deep Ellum, Dallas, on November 27, 2018. It's as if I wrote in a diary, "I saw a cool sculpture of a heart that had bicycle parts & locks in & on it." It doesn't tell me why I was there, or if it was street art, or in a show I attended. What I do know is that it was a sunny day in late November 2018 & I took a picture of a sculpture that struck my fancy.

The picture has nothing to do with devotion, but it's hard to find pictures about devotion on the internet because it turns out the word "devotion" is not as Valentine's Day-friendly as I had initially thought. Indeed, almost all the pictures I can find are religious - including art for devotionals that religious people carry. I am not a religious person. I think about it at best academically. So the idea of religious devotion is not something I could easily wrap my head around - indeed, even when as a child I thought there might be a mean dude in the sky that punished me when I was bad (or at least would when I was dead), I found the concept of somehow loving, worshipping, praising that dude to be a little silly. Mainly I couldn't wrap my head around it - I understood Zeus & Thor & the Force in Star Wars (this is pre-midichlorian) far better than whatever nebulous concept of a god my mother & some of the people around me believed in.

So naturally when I chose the theme "devotion" for Valentine's Day, I thought of being devoted to one's partner - or a pet's devotion to its master. The religious angle had not even occurred to me.

& yeah I know Valentine's Day was named after a saint, but it's become a secular holiday much like Christmas has. It's not about some dude who ministered to persecuted Christians & was beatified for it - it's about candy & roses & cards. I doubt many of the people who like Valentine's day & "celebrate" even know it's from a tradition that involved early Christians. Just like (I'd argue) most of the people who exchange gifts at Christmas don't really think it's the birthday of a god's kid. It's just about presents & family & oh yeah getting off work.

It was therefore not my intention to do a religious Valentine's Day show. Heck, I don't even think "love" as a concept would make a good religion. But that's a discussion for later. How did I end up with this as my Valentine's Day theme? I'll tell you tomorrow.

Coming Up Tomorrow On The Dickenbock Report: Opera Day

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February 8 is Opera Day. Between you & me, virtually no one on The Dickenbock Report knows anything about opera. Most of what I know is from the Bugs Bunny short What's Opera, Doc? So who knows what we'll report on. I don't know if we're going to actually hear any opera!

You'll have to tune in to find out. That's tomorrow, Sunday February 8, from noon to 1pm on 91.1+107.1fm in Portland, & online everywhere at xray dot fm. Oh no. Dick Dickenbock says he can sing an aria or two!

This Week In Self Help: February 1 + 3

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A quiet week, I guess. My regular shows. No other intrusions onto the airwaves. It went like this:

The Dickenbock Report on XRAY on Sunday February 1 was Robinson Crusoe Day. You can listen to the show on the XRAY web page.

Self Help Radio on KBOO on Tuesday February 3 had the theme "stubbon." You can download the show by clicking here or you can listen to it on the KBOO web page.

Corporate Standardized Programming on KBOO also on Tuesday February 3 featured lots of new releases. You can download the show by clicking here or you can listen to it on the KBOO web page (after Self Help Radio).

& now I stubbornly refuse to write any more about my dumb radio week.

Self Help Radio 020326: Stubborn

This morning I was trying to think of an image for a show with the theme "stubborn" while walking the dogs. & then my dog Stuart refused to move when he saw something in someone's yard. My wife quickly snapped the above picture. Moving a beagle when it is fixated on something is like trying to drag an anchor across a beach. I may required a physical therapist.

Here is the stubborn show. Not the stubbornness show! The stubborn show. I am adamant about that.

You can listen now or whenever by going to the Self Help Radio website or going to the KBOO website. Most everything that happened is listed below.

& for those who stubbornly refuse to listen to my dumb show, I salute you & dedicate this show to you.

Self Help Radio Stubborn Show

"My Stubborn Heart" Onie Wheeler _White Lightning Cherokee_

"Stubborn Heart" Kitty Wells _Winner Of Your Heart_

"Two Stubborn People" Floyd Tillman _Let's Make Memories_

introduction & definitions

"Stubborn Kind Of Fellow" Marvin Gaye _Anthology_

"Stubborn Heart" The Sheppards _The In Crowd (The Story Of Northern Soul)_

"Stubborn" The Charlottes _LoveHappy_

"Stubborn Or Bust" Shrag _Life! Death! Prizes!_

"Stubborn Little Mule" KateGoes _Animals Who Want To Be Other Animals_

interview with listener Jed, who claims to be stubborn

"Stubborn" Emily Easterly _Cole_

"Stubborn Mule Blues" Edgar Jones _Soothing Music For Stray Cats_

"Stubborn Beast" Jolie Holland _Springtime Can Kill You_

"Stubborn Man" The Old Ceremony _Walk On Thin Air_

"Too Stubborn To Fold" Wheels On Fire _Get Famous!_

interview with listener Betty, who had a stubborn mother

"Stubborn Walls" Nicole Bianchet _House Of Silence_

"Stubborn Taurus" Danella Hocevar _Hearts Will Be Broken Here_

"Stubborn Day" Lowly _Heba_

"Stubborn Signs" ShitKid _20/20 ShitKid_

"Ballad Of Two Stubborn Men" The Younger Lovers _Young Brothers_

interview with listener Ned, who raised five stubborn children

"Stubborn Land" Marybeth D'Amico _The Light Inside_

"Stubborn Love" Edie Brickell & New Bohemians _Hunter & The Dog Star_

"Stubborn Vassals" Ivor Cutler _A Flat Man_

"Too Stubborn" The Marshall Tucker Band _A New Life_

"Stubborn Man" The Antlers _Green To Gold_

conclusion & goodbye

"Nyamwanga Kumva! ('Stubborn Until The End!')" The Good Ones _Rwanda Is My Home_

"Stubborn Problems" Femi Kuti _Femi Kuti_

Whither Stubborn?

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Although I love radio & I love encouraging people to do radio & I train people to do radio, there's very little more tedious to me than talking about my own radio show. But then I have a blog where I'm supposed to talk about my own radio show. So I now have to do the thing that I don't like doing. I'd rather you listen to the show to see what it's all about. Ah well.

There was a moment early on doing Self Help Radio when I realized all my themes were nouns. (Or gerunds or participles or proper nouns, anyway.) My contrariness was offended. I started doing shows whose themes were phrases, verbs, adjectives, whatever. I can't think of an example offhand, but let's say I had a show & the theme was "swim." Inevitably someone would say, "Why not have the theme be swimming?"

So too this week's theme. Why "stubborn"? Why not "stubbornness"? The short answer is, who cares? The long answer is, there aren't songs that are explicitly about stubbornness but lots of songs that reference being stubborn & stubborn things. Why not "being stubborn" or "stubborn things"? You must agree that's kinda awkward. An adjective being a theme may also be awkward but I've done it long enough that it's no longer awkward to me. But "being stubborn"? Yikes, I'd be more embarrassed than I usually am!

There are lots of stubborn people in my life & one of them is our newest adopted dog, Stuart. He's nine years old & was not raised well. He was very large when we adopted him & now is still large but less substantial - on our first walks he would pant so hard I thought he would have a heart attack, but now he does those walks with a spring in his step. When it comes to food, he cannot be moved. Nothing distracts him. He is the essence of the stubborn creature. This show was inspired by him.

A stubborn show for a stubborn beagle (& any other stubborn being). On KBOO tonight midnight to 2am. 90.7fm in town, kboo dot fm everywhere. KBOO stubbornly refuses to put me on anytime else.

Preface To Stubborn: I Grew Up With A Stubborn Mother

There are so very many stories I can tell you about my mother's stubbornness. She remained stubborn until finally dementia overtook her mind - although my sister thinks there was still some of it in the way she looked at her at the end. But instead of regaling you with stories that show bullheadedness leading to exasperation & frustration, I want to tell you what happened to me because I grew up with a stubborn mother.

& to be sure, I am not a psychologist nor have I spoken to one about this subject. I don't imagine I am discussing anything universal or even general - just my own experience.

Years after I had left home - when being around my mother was something that happened once a year for just a few hours - I got to see my mother being stubborn in the way that she must've been when I was a kid. In effect I could watch it a little more objectively - she had no power or authority over me, I was a visitor in her life at the time, & I felt a little like I was watching something from outside, as through a picture window.

& it made think how she must've been like that many times in my childhood. She would get obsessed about a topic & she would not let you change the subject. She wanted something & she was going to have it. She wanted you to do something & you were going to do it. She would be focused in such a way that precluded any other opinion - in fact, to offer an opinion, to suggest you might disagree, would be as offensive as if you'd yelled at her, or even struck her. I watched with fascination as my mother held on to some dumb thought or opinion or command as if for dear life. & I could see myself, as a child, buckling under that onslaught.

Because I was very attached to my mother as a child. She liked it that way.

My sister Pat - my oldest sister - became a very stubborn woman. I suspect my sister Karin - my youngest sister - has some stubbornness in her but she's a very reasonable person - she is open to discussion. I don't know about my brothers because we're not close, but I'm sure some of them have a stubborn streak. But what happened to me is that I learned to do anything - anything - to keep from having to endure such stubbornness in my life.  It made me prone to be accommodating - I've been accused of being a people pleaser. But I think now it was as a reaction to my mother's stubbornness that I learned to compromise rather than have to be overwhelmed by the power of someone else's stubbornness.

Is this a common reaction to or result of having a stubborn parent? I don't know. I'm kind of afraid to look it up. But it's something that's close to the theme this week. My mother was hella stubborn.

Seriously, I could tell you stories. Remind me to tell you stories. When my mother told stories of her stubbornness, she told them as the hero of those stories. I could only sympathize with the people who were inevitably negatively affected by her intractability. Because I had been one of them, often.

Coming Up Tomorrow On The Dickenbock Report: Robinson Crusoe Day

(image from the Wikipedia)

February 1 is Robinson Crusoe Day. Sure, you've read Daniel Defoe's novel, & you've seen television shows & maybe even movies based on/inspired by it. But have you heard a radio show about Robinson Crusoe? We think not.

Explore Robinson Crusoe tomorrow, February 1, on The Dickenbock Report on XRAY FM - 91.1+107.1fm in Portland, online everywhere at xray dot fm. Maybe you'll even find out what Friday does on a Sunday afternoon!

This Week In Self Help January 23 25 + 27

Really, I was hanging upside down off one of the buildings in downtown Portland when I took that picture. It's totally not a picture I took rightside up then flipped in an image-editing program. That would be dishonest.

Friday January 23rd I subbed a show on XRAY. Played lots of random stuff. You can listen to it on the XRAY website if you want.

Sunday January 25th there was an episode of The Dickenbock Report where I played songs with "around the world" as their theme, since it was the anniversary of Nellie Bly returning on her historic journey around the world, which took her just over 72 days. You can listen to it on the XRAY website if you'd like.

Tuesday January 27th there was an episode of Self Help Radio with the theme "upside." You can listen to it on the Self Help Radio website. & you can listen to it on the KBOO website. If that's something you think you might enjoy.

Also Tuesday January 27th there was an episode of Corporate Standardized Programming wherein I played music by artists we lost in July of last year. You can listen to it on the Self Help Radio website. & you can listen to it on the KBOO website (after Self Help Radio). If you have nothing better to do.

That's what I did this past week. What were you up to?

Self Help Radio 012726: Upside

The downside of this upside show is that there are three upside down songs to each upside song. That affects you not at all but I was hoping I could do an entirely "upside" show. & maybe later an "upside down" show. I totally bet I could do an entire "downside" show!

But let's not dwell on what might've been. Here is the show. There are lots of groovy tunes & goofy interviews & the occasional foibles of someone doing a late night radio show while being a little tired. Same old same old.

Listen to the show on the KBOO website or on the Self Help Radio website. The latter may require the username SHR & password selfhelp to access. Everything that happened on the show is below.

Listening to this show upside is neither recommended nor not recommended.  It's not like I'm an expert or anything.

Self Help Radio Upside Show

"I'm Going Upside Your Head" Jimmy Reed _Jimmy Reed At Soul City_

"Upside Mine" The Chatham Singers _Juju Claudius_

"Looking For The Upside" The Photocopies _Counterintuition_

introduction & definitions

"The Upside" Raavi _The Upside_

"The Upside" Carissa Johnson & The Cure-Alls _The Good EP_

"There Is No Upside" James Yorkston & The Second Hand Orchestra _The Wide, Wide River_

"I Don't Believe You Want To Get Up & Dance (Oops Up Side Your Head)" The Gap Band _Ultimate Collection_

"On The Upside" Xena _Electro Funk Sessions (The Finest Electronic Street Jams From Back In The Day)_

interview with What's The Upside podcast host Chris Talbot

"Upside Down" Bruce Haack _The Electronic Record For Children_

"Upside Down Blues" Curtis Jones _Complete Recorded Works In Chronological Order Volume 4_

"My Smile Is Just A Frown (Turned Upside Down)" Carolyn Crawford _The Complete Motown Singles | Vol. 4: 1964_

"Upside Down" Norman Conquest _The Rubble Collection Volumes 1-10_

"Inside, Outside, Upside Down" Josie & The Pussycats _Stop, Look, & Listen: The Capitol Recordings_

"I Keep Her Picture Hanging Upside Down" Jerry Lewis _The Capitol Collector's Series_

interview with Jenny & Jeremy of Portland's Upside Club

"Upside Down" Magazine _The Correct Use Of Soap_

"Upside Down" The Jesus & Mary Chain _Psychocandy_

"My Brain Is Hanging Upside Down (Bonzo Goes To Bitburg)" Ramones _Animal Boy_

"Inside Out & Upside Down (With You)" The Cramps _Flamejob_

"Hanging Upside Down" David Byrne _Uh-Oh_

interview with my friend Jasper who likes to be upside down

"Upside-Down" Yo La Tengo _May I Sing With Me_

"A Planet Upside Down" Pearl & The Oysters _Planet Pearl_

"World Upside Down" Tears Run Rings _Always, Sometimes, Seldom, Never_

"Upside Down On Brighton Beach" Shirley Lee _Shirley Lee_

"Love In The Upside Down" David Holmes & Raven Violet _Blind On A Galloping Horse_

conclusion & goodbye

"Turn Things Upside Down" The Happy End _Turn Things Upside Down_

"Leaving Everything Upside Down" Gretta Seabird _Cycling EP_

"Downhill (Upside Down Optimist)" Jeremy Ivey _Invisible Pictures_

"Upsidedown" The Mighty Project _Total Football_

Whither Upside?

That is a picture of my grey tabby cat Bluto upside down. He was all of maybe five months old in that picture. But to this day he still enjoys being upside down. You can hold him & he will stretch out until he is upside down. No other creature in the house - nor any cat I have ever owned - enjoys this particular thing.

Anyway. The theme this week is "upside." It could also be "upside down" but I wanted to find songs that specifically mentioned the word "upside." Since an "upside" is a different thing than the word "upside" in the phrase "upside down." Spoiler alert! I found more upside down songs than upside songs. Perhaps I'll discuss it on the show.

& no this isn't telling you why that's the theme because the reason it's the theme is a little dumb. I was looking at the list of themes I have explored (which you can find here) & I noticed I had only explored - in 23 years! - themes that began with the letter U a mere eleven times. What could I explore to add something to that short list? "Up" would have too many choices. My upside down? But then I thought - let's see if there are any songs just using the word "upside." There couldn't be a downside to that!

The upside show airs in this upside down world tonight from midnight to 2am on KBOO - 90.7fm in town, kboo dot fm everywhere. Maybe there's an upside to all this.

Preface To Upside: Upside Down Nation

That picture was taken in Fort Worth, Texas, a lifetime ago. Or maybe just eight years. It seems too long ago. Every day we walked with the dogs in our neighborhood, & our walk took us past an elementary school, Ridgelea Hills Elementary. Sometimes our walk took us behind the school, in the area where the children played/had recess. One day - apparently March 11, 2018 - I saw that someone had taken apart some monkey bars - that's what we used to call them - & turned the thing upside down.

A year after that, my wife would accept a job in Portland & my life would change again, but I had no idea that would happen when I took this picture. Then as now, I did my best to find joy where I could - that usually involves radio, my pets, & my wife - despite what is happening in the world. I have lived through the Reagan presidency, as well as two Bushes, & was living through Trump One at the time that picture was taken. It has been exhausting but nothing could have prepared me for the first three weeks of this year.

This morning on The Dickenbock Report, I said something like this: Please don't think because I try to have fun with this ridiculous radio show that I'm not aware of the creeping fascism that threatens our lives. I try to have fun but it's hard when goons who can't even pass an open-book test murder nurses in our streets. Please know I'm sad & angry & know this cannot stand.

What's true is I feel helpless too & don't want to be like my German grandparents were in the 1930s when Germany went full fascist. My mother used to tell me about people in her village disappearing but also that the economy was great & my grandfather could buy a car for the very first time. I don't want the fact that I allowed to make stupid radio shows to be a freedom I have at the expense of others. I am carrying within me an alarming amount of guilt.

The people in Minnesota are so strong, the proud boy gestapo so despicable. We marched in the No Kings March & the stations I am at are proudly anti-fascist. But I do wish I could do more.

If you notice any hesitancy - any embarrassment - any small lack of commitment to my programs - it's because seeing my fellow citizens stand up to a mad king's private racist army while I make dumb noises into a microphone seems like a betrayal. & yet there's really little else I can do.

My apologies. But also my gratitude if you understand. Because I'll keep making my dumb radio shows.

Coming Up Tomorrow On The Dickenbock Report: Nellie Bly Around The World

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On January 25, 1890 - almost 136 years go - journalist Nellie Bly complete her journey around the world - in just over 72 days! For this anniversary, The Dickenbock Report will talk about that impressive feat & listen to music about all things "around the world."

That's tomorrow - Sunday - from noon to 1pm on XRAY FM - 91.1+107.1fm in Portland, xray dot fm everywhere. All around the world!

This Week In Self Help: January 16 18 + 20

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Yeah that Time Magazine cover is weird isn't it. I lived through George HW Bush's presidency & could not care any fucking less about him so I am not nor will ever be curious enough to find out why he was Time's "Men Of The Year" - the truth is, he was about the least "manly" President this country has ever had, although the baby currently in the White House comes very close. I only picked the image because he was the 1990 "Men Of The Year" & 1990 played a role in this week's radio stuff I did.

A week ago - Friday January 16th - I was on The Songcircle on KBOO. I played lots of new releases. You can listen to that show on the KBOO website or on the Self Help Radio website.

Sunday January 18th on The Dickenbock Report on XRAY I played songs about x-rays because of some anniversary involving x-rays. It was just an excuse to play songs about x-rays on a station called XRAY. You can listen to that show on the XRAY website or on the Self Help Radio website.

Monday January 20th on Self Help Radio on KBOO I played lots of my favorite music from 1990. You can listen to that show on the KBOO website or on the Self Help Radio website.

Also Monday January 20th on Corporate Standardized Programming on KBOO I played lots more new releases. You can listen to that show on the KBOO website (after Self Help Radio) or on the Self Help Radio website.

Remember! Username SHR password selfhelp! It may come in handy!

Seriously though, I hope that cover upset HW Bush. He was such a dumb douchenozzle.

Self Help Radio 012026: 1990

(images found at Discogs)

The time in that book when Proust ate a cookie & it made him remember his life? If that book were about me, it would be me hearing a song & its associations carrying me into the past. I have memories related to so many of the releases I played on this show. I guess the songs themselves become memories. & maybe they become over time as untrustworthy as memories.

Anyway. Here's this week's show, my birthday show, my favorite music from 1990. Some of it, anyway. There was way too much. You might know a little more about me knowing these are things I love. More than likely though if we both like them, we'll know we might have more in common.

You can listen to the show at the KBOO website or at the Self Help Radio website. At the latter, you may need a username+password to access. Try SHR + selfhelp. Everything I played on the show is listed below. Everything I said on the show, well, you have to listen for that.

Today I start year 58!

Self Help Radio 1990 Show

"Spoken Word" Ed's Redeeming Qualities _More Bad Times_

"Down To The Well" Pixies _Bossanova_

"Oh!" The Breeders _Pod_

"Diane (Excerpt)" Kyle MacLachlan _"Diane..." The Twin Peaks Tapes Of Agent Cooper_1990 cassette)

"Morality Is Vanity" Momus _Monsters Of Love: Singles 1985-90_

"The Weeping Song" Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds _The Good Son_

"November Spawned A Monster" Morrissey _November Spawned A Monster_

"Never Enough" The Cure _Never Enough_

"My Finest Hour" The Sundays _Reading, Writing, & Arithmetic_

"Crawl" The Wedding Present _3 Songs_

"Do You Have To Break My Heart" The Darling Buds _Crawdaddy_

"Don't Ask Why" My Bloody Valentine _Glider_

"I Fell In Love Last Night" Heavenly _I Fell In Love Last Night_

"Forever Changed" Lou Reed & John Cale _Songs For Drella_

"One Word" Brian Eno & John Cale _Wrong Way Up_

"Telephone Thing" The Fall _Extricate_

"Out Of My Mind On Dope & Speed" Julian Cope _Skellington_

"Love Grows (Where My Rosemary Goes)" The Siddeleys _Alvin Lives (In Leeds): Anti Poll Tax Trax_

"No Blue Skies" Lloyd Cole _Lloyd Cole_

"Baby Stones" Robert Forster _Danger In The Past_

"Beatles & The Stones" The House Of Love _The House Of Love_

"Fifty-Fifty Clown" Cocteau Twins _Heaven Or Las Vegas_

"Miss Otis Regrets/Just One Of Those Things" Kirsty MacColl & The Pogues _Red Hot + Blue_

"Sweet Jane" The Blue Aeroplanes _World View Blue_

"De-Luxe" Lush _Mad Love EP_

"She's On Drugs" The Jazz Butcher _Cult Of The Basement_