Self Help Radio 042126: Idols

Despite having a tendency to confuse the words idol & icon, I somehow managed to make my way through this week's episode of Self Help Radio, which was in fact about idols (not icons). I played so many songs about idols that I suppose now I am officially an idolater. Or was, for two hours. I don't know if my radio show can really make anything official.

Howsoever you feel about idols - whether your religion uses them or forbids them - or if like me you have no religion so can feel about idols the way you wish - you'll be pleased I think to enjoy many songs about many different kinds of idols - as well as a few about idolizing, which is maybe more innocuous & less religiously charged than the average idol.

You can listen this show either at the KBOO website or at the Self Help Radio website. Most everything that happened on the show is listed below. Including a few times where I somehow say "icon" when I mean "idol." Sheesh!

Self Help Radio Idols Show

"Idol With The Golden Head" The Coasters _The Very Best Of The Coasters_

"My Singing Idol" Petite Teens _Teen Town U.S.A. Vol. 7_

"I Idolize You" Boss Hog _Boss Hog_

introduction & definitions (feat. the Definition-O-Tron 3000)

"Bone Idol (Original Single Version)" The Drones _Further Temptations_

"Idolization" Hagar The Womb _The Word Of The Womb_

"Kill Yr. Idols" Sonic Youth _Confusion Is Sex (Plus Kill Yr. Idols)_

"Teenage Idol" Vandals _Fear Of A Punk Planet_

"The Gods, Distressed, Revoke Idolatry..." Bongo Fury _Lord Mongrel Is Dying_

"Voodoo Idol" The Cramps _Psychedelic Jungle_

listeners Anna & Alex call in to complain

"Idols" Altered Images _Happy Birthday_

"I Got No Idols" The Juliana Hatfield Three _Become What You Are_

"Leather Idol" Tuscadero _The Pink Album_

"My Favorite Idol" Boy Wonder _Wonder Wear_

"American Idol" Wanda Sykes _Sick & Tired_

"New Idols" The Long Blondes _Singles_

interview with promoter Carl Reese

"Idoleyes" This Poison! _Magazine 1986-1988_

"Das Idol" Die Blizelbeeren _Frische Beeren EP_

"Favourite Fallen Idol" Adorable _Against Perfection_

"Something I Idolise" The Pristines _"Teen Fraud, Pop Whore" (Part-One)_

"Sonnet 105" Eli Wallach _The Complete Shakespeare Sonnets_

"Dress Like Your Idols" Boat _Dress Like Your Idols_

a discussion about the difference between an icon & an idol

"Wooden Idols" Jarboe _Thirteen Masks_

"Idol Worship! Idol Worship!" Love As Laughter _Laughter's Fifth_

"The Bones Of An Idol" The New Pornographers _Twin Cinema_

"The Idolness Of Gods" Echo & The Bunnymen _The Fountain_

"American Idol" Marc Maron _Final Engagement_

"Idol" Cleaners From Venus _The Late District_

conclusion & goodbye

"Barren Idol" Romantic States _Corduroy In Italy_

"My Idol" Stereo Total _Ah! Quel Cinéma!_

"Idols" Like A Motorcycle _Dead Broke_

"You're The One I Idolise" Wild Billy Childish & CTMF _Last Punk Standing... & Other Hits!_

"Irrational Idol Thinking" Psychic Markers _Psychic Markers_

"Ídolo (Feat. Angelica Garcia)" Adrian Quesada _Boleros Psicodélicos_

Whither Idols?

That picture above is something I found on a internets over ten years ago, so I can't tell you where it's from. Trying to find it using a search engine's reverse-lookup feature shows me it was a joke replicated many times - but I suspect I found the original image on Tumblr at some point.

& yes, the picture shows icons but the show tonight is about idols - from the religious ones to the ones we admire for being figures in popular culture. I just liked the picture about icons.

There is a very dumb roundabout way I came to the theme. I was driving somewhere in Portland - probably in my hood - when I passed a Dollar Tree. (It must've been in my hood as there is one nearby on Foster.) For the longest time when I would see the name of that discount store, I would try to come up with some joke that will allow me to use the punchline, "I, Dollar Tree" - which would sound like "idolatry." It might even be something I could work into a radio show - but I suppose the theme would have to be "idolatry."

The thing is, there weren't all that many songs about idolatry, but there were lots about idols. So I decided to do a show about idols. I never did figure out a way to use the "I, Dollar Tree" pun. & I probably won't. So I share it with you now.

Told you it was dumb.

Preface To Idols: A Felt Record

(image from Discogs)

This is a record of which I am fond, Felt's 1984 release The Strange Idols Pattern & Other Short Stories. Curiously, there's not a song on the record called "The Strange Idols Pattern" & idols are not referenced in any of the songs so nothing from the record will show up on this week's program. It is Felt's third record & contains three songs of theirs I would consider excellent examples of their excellence: "Sunlight Bathed The Golden Glow," "Dismantled King Is Off The Throne," & "Crystal Ball."

Though I suspect a later deep-dive in the Creation label would have led me to discover Felt eventually, I was introduced to the band when I won one of their records on the radio. I was listening to KNON in Dallas in the summer of 1987 & I was the caller who won The Pictorial Jackson Review. The deejay asked me if I knew about the band, I said no, he said, "Oh you're gonna like them." & he was right!

One thing you'll never really see on this blog is music criticism from me because, one, I'm not a critic, & two, I don't think my opinions, such as they are, are valuable enough to anyone but me to have any desire to share them. As I have said before, I am lucky - I get to play the music I like on the radio. Critics use their own standards to try to persuade their audiences what is "good" or "bad" or "important." None of that makes any difference to me vis-a-vis your opinion. If you don't like something I like, that affects me not at all (although I guess it means you won't want to listen to my radio show). I'd much rather share things I like with you than explaining to you why I don't like things. & even when I don't like things, it doesn't bother me that someone else might like it. It's all subjective.

But if you asked me if I'd recommend this record, I'd say, sure! Though I'd tell you my favorite Felt record is Poem Of The River. There's a couple of (probably out-of-print) singles collections called Absolute Classic Masterpieces which give a thorough overview of the band. I don't rank my favorite bands but I can tell you Felt are one of my favorite bands.

& they're a band I thought of when I knew I was going to do a show about idols. A shame that they don't have a song I can play on the show.

Coming Up Tomorrow On The Dickenbock Report: National Garlic Day

April 19 is National Garlic Day. The Dickenbock Report is already a pungent program, but this week it'll be pretty garlicky. Musical reports, a report on Portland's Garlic Days, & more.

It's happening during XRAY's Spring Fund Drive, so please support the station if you can! Visit this address to give to XRAY. Visit this address to support The Report (which of course all goes to XRAY).

& make sure to listen tomorrow, Sunday, from noon to 1pm on 91.1+107.1fm in town, & online everywhere at xray dot fm. & sorry about the breath.

This Week In Self Help: April 12 + 14

For whatever reason, I don't have a lot of pictures of palaces on my computer. I think I already said I've never visited a palace. So that's why. My computer found this picture - taken in Puerto Rico in 2013 - where you can see the word palace. That's about as good as it gets with pictures of palaces for me.

This week was another week when I just did my regular shows. Those were:

The Dickenbock Report Sunday April 12. National Licorice Day. Listen here.
Self Help Radio Tuesday April 14. A show about palaces. Listen here. Or listen here.

Corporate Standardized Programming Tuesday April 14. A show featuring artists we lost in late 2025. Listen here (after Self Help Radio). Or listen here.

That's all. You may go now.

Self Help Radio 041426: Palaces

It's usual practice isn't it for a palace to have a sign or marquee outside to let everyone know it's a palace, right? That's so cool.

Here's a show about palaces. I don't think I've ever been in a palace. But I talked to people who live in a palace. & a home improvement dude who makes "little palaces." & played lots of songs about palaces. That seems almost as good? Okay I know it isn't but let me have my illusions!

You can listen to the show at the Self Help Radio website & at the KBOO website. Lots of stuff happened on the show, most of which is noted below.

Hey! Now we can say with spent two hours in palaces together! Okay maybe not.

Self Help Radio Palaces Show

"Palaces" Bart Davenport _Palaces_

"Palace" The Gay _You Know The Rules_

"Palace" Electric Sunset _Electric Sunset_

introduction & definitions

"Palaces Of Gold" Leon Rosselson _Palaces Of Gold_

"Haunted Palace" Renee Maskin _Is It Real_

"Trouble In The Palace" Elizabeth Harper _Elizabeth Harper_

"Little Palaces" Elvis Costello _King Of America_

"Buckingham Palace" Ann Stephens _Hello Children Everywhere_

interview with Princess Petra & Prince Peter (Part I)

"Crackerbox Palace" George Harrison _Thirty Three & 1/3_

"Princess Of The Pearl Palace" Luke Sweeney _Rishi_

"The Haunted Palace" Basil Rathbone _The Edgar Allan Poe Audio Collection_

"Caesar's Palace" The Watts 103rd Street Rhythm Band _Hot Heat & Sweet Groove_

"Palace Of The King" Freddie King _Getting Ready..._

interview with Princess Petra & Prince Peter (Part II)

"The Palace Roses" Todd Andrews _The American Song-Poem Anthology: Do You Know The Difference Between Big Wood & Brush?_

"The Wicked Palace Revolution" McCarthy _I Am A Wallet_

"Dream Palace" Galore _Dirt_

"Moon Palace" Ladytron _Gravity The Seducer_

"Great Palaces Of Immortal Splendour" Single Gun Theory _Millions, Like Stars In My Hands, Daggers In My Heart, Wage War_

interview with home improvement television show host Bert Laird

"Palace Of The Brine" Pixies _Trompe Le Monde_

"Ghost Palace" The Burning Hell _Ghost Palace_

"Echo Palace" Iguana Death Cult _Echo Palace_

"Palace Doctor" Thee Oh Sees _Mutilator Defeated At Last_

"The Palace Of Versailles" Al Stewart _Time Passages_

conclusion & goodbye

"Palace Of Mirrors" Crushed Stars _Displaced Sleepers_

"No Peace In The Palace" Grant McLennan _Horsebreaker Star_

Whither Palaces?

That's the sign outside what used to be the Palace Barber Shop in Grand Prairie, Texas. I took that picture when I was in the metroplex in March, 2023, but according to Yelp, it was already closed by then - I must've looked in to see, mustn't I have? I sure did like the sign, though.

Yes, the theme this week is palaces. I'm not normally inclined to think of such things - I suppose I'd go on a tour through a palace if the opportunity arose, but I'd rather go to an art museum. Still, one late night in the dark of winter, getting ready to go to bed but looking up some information about a book I was reading, I stumbled upon a short documentary about the palace at Versailles. & I said to myself, Self - should we do a show about palaces? & usually that's all it takes.

You might ask me about the book I was reading & surprisingly it wasn't about anything French or royal or even historical. I do my best to frustrate the algorithm every chance I get.

Join me in the mind palace that is my radio show tonight from midnight to 2am on 90.7fm in town & online at kboo dot fm. It's very big & spooky & lonesome in a mind palace at night. I'll need the company.

Preface To Palaces: The Donut Palace Mystery

That is a picture I took somewhere in the Dallas/Fort Worth metroplex millions of years ago. Okay, it was August of 2017, probably in Fort Worth, but it appears I took the picture on my way back from Dallas, so who knows.

Here's the thing: I know for a fact there's a Donut Palace here in Portland, Oregon. So I thought to myself, "How many businesses called Donut Palace can there be?" Donut places mostly seem self-owned - little business run by families. Can the interwebs help me?

This website informs me: "There are 289 Donut Palace locations in United States as of March, 2026. The highest number of Donut Palace locations of United States are in Texas & Oklahoma with 168 businesses & 25 businesses, respectively. Texas makes up approximately 58.1% of all Donut Palace locations in the United States."

This website - which is for the Donut Palace & Equipment Co. tells me: "Donut Palace & Equipment Company, Inc., a Texas C Corporation*, is owned & operated by Mr. Alton Blair, it’s [sic] president. Mr. Blair has been in the business of constructing, operating, & equipping, sub-leasing, & supplying bakery ingredients (i.e. sugar, shortening, flour, etc.) to donut stores for more than 40 years. Beginning in 1967 & continuing to 1979, Mr. Blair started 140 independent donut stores. He initiated the Donut Palace name brand in 1979. Since then Mr. Blair has started over 450 Donut Palace stores scattered throughout communities located in Texas, Mississippi, Louisiana, Arkansas, Tennessee, Oklahoma & many other places."

There's a bunch of photos of Donut Palaces here - they seem to have a regular sign, which does not resemble the one above - & that sign is not on display as one of the businesses in the photos.

As far as I can tell, Donut Palace isn't quite a franchise - but perhaps to use the name you need to have a relationship with the Texas company. I can't quite figure out how that would work tho.

Here is a picture of the one in Oregon:

Again, no clue if it's related to the Texas company or not. I'm not that good of a detective. I can tell you that they have vegan donuts on Saturdays, & the wife would go get them during the pandemic. It's about a forty-five minute drive round trip, so she eventually decided it wasn't entirely worth it. But they were good!

Any insight into this Donut Palace mystery? I could use your better understanding of the economics of franchising!

* Defined by this website, "A C-corporation (C-corp) is a legal business entity that provides its owners – commonly known as shareholders – with limited liability protection. This entity type is separately from its owners. A corporation itself is taxed on its profits, & shareholders are taxed again when they receive dividends – not as a general matter of course on their personal tax returns, as is the case with most partnerships & LLCs."

Coming Up Tomorrow On The Dickenbock Report: National Licorice Day

(image found here)

April 12 is National Licorice Day. We the Dickenbock Report are always hungry & we're glad to report on food, unless all they have at the studio is black licorice. Then maybe we'll regret it.

Hey! This show is happening during XRAY's Spring Fund Drive. If you appreciate musical reports about topical new in general, or licorice in particular, or just wanna support XRAY, please donate now! We promise, Dick Dickenbock no longer calls you to thank you.

Tune in tomorrow, Sunday, April 12, from noon to 1pm for a Dickenbock Report report about National Licorice Day on 91.1+107.1fm in Portland, xray dot fm everywhere.

This Week In Self Help (Apr 5 + 7)

It's not easy to find pictures of "bad boys & bad girls" for a radio show with that theme but here's a picture of two former bad boys (or girls, who can say) enjoying the front yard on a pretty Portland day despite, you know, being dead & all. Meanwhile here's what I was doing on the radio this week:

The Dickenbock Report on XRAY FM:

April 5 was National Dandelion Day. I played songs about dandelions. Listen to the show at XRAY FM.

Self Help Radio on KBOO:
April 7 the theme was (as I said) "bad boys & bad girls." Listen to the show at KBOO FM. Or listen to the show here.

Corporate Standardized Programming on KBOO:

April 7 I played a buncha new releases. Listen to the show at KBOO FM (after Self Help Radio). Or listen to the show here.

& that's all I have for the bad girls & boys.

Self Help Radio 050726: Bad Boys & Bad Girls

It is a testament to what a good boy I am that I only know two bad boys & one bad girl - & they are in the picture above - from the left, bad boy Stuart, bad girl Pauline, & bad boy Pete. Fascinatingly, they are also the best boys & girls I know - Pauline is a very good girl & Pete & Stuart are very good boys. I guess it's because they are beagles that there's that difficult dichotomy.

As you can see on the playlist below, the show is evenly divided between bad boys & bad girls. & sometimes a girl is singing about a bad boy or boys & a boy is singing about a bad girl or girls. This radio program attempts to present as many possible viewpoints as it can.

You can listen to the show now at the Self Help Radio website. Or if you want at the KBOO website. The playlist below shows all that happened on the show.

At this point, I might admonish you to be good but I know you won't be.

Self Help Radio Bad Boys & Bad Girls show

"Bad Boy" Barefoot Bill _Complete Recorded Works In Chronological Order 1927-1930_

"I'm A Bad, Bad Girl" Little Esther Phillips _The Chronological Little Esther: 1951-1952_

"Bad Boy" Falcon Jane _Legacy_

introduction & definitions

"Bad Girl" The Miracles _The Chess Story 1957-1964_

"Bad Boy" Larry Williams _The Specialty Story_

"Bad Girl" She _She Wants A Piece Of You_

"Bad Boys Get Spanked" The Pretenders _The Pretenders II_

"Bad Girl" New York Dolls _New York Dolls_

interview with Bad Boys Of Portland member Zach

"Good Girl, Bad Boy" Junior Senior _D-D-Don't Don't Stop The Beat_

"Bad Girls" Donna Summer _The Disco Years (Boogie Fever) Volume Three_

"Even The Good Boys Are Bad" Locate S, 1 _Personalia_

"Bad Bad Girls" Pushtwangers _Pushtwangers_

"Bad Bad Boy" David Candy _Play Power_

interview with former bad boy Rufus

"Bad Girls" Tennis _Ritual In Repeat_ 

"Bad Boys" Hunx & His Punx _Walk Out On This World_

"Your Good Girl's Gonna Go Bad" Jonathan Richman _Jonathan Goes Country_

"Bad Boy" John Prine _German Afternoons_

"Bad Girl" Cherry Vanilla _Bad Girl_

interview with bad boy & bad girl researcher Cliff Rupp

"Sensitive Bad Boys" The Dead Sailor Girls _Rolling Sea_

"Bad Girl" The Zakary Thaks _Face To Face_

"Bad Boy" The Adicts _The Complete Adicts Singles Collection_

"Bad Girl" Kitbuilders _This Is Not The 80s - A Nu-Wave Electro Compilation_

"Bad Boy" Hand Habits _Wildly Idle (Humble Before The Void)_

conclusion & goodbye

"This Bad Girl" The Golden Cups _Complete Best Blues Of Life_

"Bad Boy" King Khan & The Shrines _Idle No More_

"Bad Girl" Sun June _Somewhere_

"Bad Boys" Sallie Ford & The Sound Outside _Untamed Beast_

Whither Bad Boys & Bad Girls?

(Image from Wikipedia)

Just so you know - I've been writing in this dumb blog about my radio show(s) since 2006. Almost 20 years. It was on September 13, 2006, I explained why I was making a radio show about the theme sugar. (You can read it here if you want.) I really thought that I would know why I picked every theme & even supposed - quite naively - that there might be an interesting story about it, too. If you have spent any time on this blog, you will know that that supposition was wrong, wrong, wrong.

My memory is not what it is, if it ever was. I will forget things that happened this morning as a matter of course. & I have made a radio show a week, usually based on a unique theme, for nearly 24 years now. How in the world am I supposed to remember why I did something, chose something, planned something?

Now you might be thinking - oh this is where Gary turns the tables on us & says "But not this time!" Because he's always making excuses about how he doesn't know where his ideas come from. But alas! That's giving me too much credit.

About three months ago, I wrote down "bad boys" on a list. Then added "bad girls." Then wrote "boys singing about bad girls/girls singing about bad boys?" It appears it was some kind of exercise. Why? Who knows. Maybe I heard a song. Maybe I thought about the show "Cops."

All that I can say is that the theme of Self Help Radio tonight on KBOO is "bad boys & bad girls." Howsoever it found its way into my head & soon out into the Portland airwaves. You can listen to it from midnight to 2am on 90.7fm here in Portland or online at kboo dot fm.

Be a good boy &/or good girl & tune in, would you please?

Preface To Bad Boys & Bad Girls: Of Course I Wasn't A Bad Boy

There's a very good reason I was never a bad boy tho I could have turned out worse. I shoplifted. I wasn't always truthful. I recently confessed on this blog to having a short-lived infatuation with setting things on fire. & I was never really watched as a kid. I knew some boys who almost certainly had run-ins with the law & possibly even ended up with criminal records. I certainly knew people my age who were doing drugs & drinking & who may well have developed lifelong problems with that. I grew up very poor, mostly unsupervised, with lots of time on my hands & much of it alone. Why didn't I fall in with a bad crowd? Why didn't I take the step into the world of the "bad boy"?

One word: fear.

Now I can't tell you if I am naturally fearful. What I can tell you is that my mother almost certainly was. She was terrified of the world. Like she lived in the Australian outback where everything is poisonous. & she imparted that fear onto me & my siblings. Two of my older brothers were far more interested in drugs than I was, & I have heard some interesting stories of drug use & big parties that I would never have taken part in - but for some reason, they never ended up in jail, never had a criminal record. I think it was my mother's fear transferred to them.

Listen: I grew up with kids that happily left the apartment complexes we lived in & wandered far & wide, getting into all sort of mischief. Why didn't I do that - or my little brother, who was often my companion in my childhood? Because our mother told us there were dangers out there - you know, across the street. A block over. Where terrible shit happens.

She wouldn't let us go into public restrooms alone until we were probably ten or eleven years old. We had to go with her in the women's restroom which was embarrassing. Why? Because, she said, there was a man in the men's restroom with a knife who would cut your thing off. & I would think - why are they letting that guy do that? It seemed even to a seven-year-old to be bad for business.

How she imparted that fear seems to me to be through repetition. My mother would talk all the time. & as a little boy, sitting with her, I must've heard the same horror stories told in different variations over & over all through my childhood. To this day I hear her voice in situations where I might be alone or I might be experiencing something stressful & unfamiliar. I have to talk her down or I won't do the thing that I really, really want to do.

A few years ago, during the pandemic, my wife was jazzercising in the garage, & the song she was playing repeated the phrase "shake what your momma gave you" or something like that. & all I could think was, "I wish I could shake the crippling fear of the world my momma gave me."

& that's why I was never a bad boy.

Coming Up Tomorrow On The Dickenbock Report: National Dandelion Day

April 5 is National Dandelion Day. Dick Dickenbock loves dandelions, & secretly believes in their wish-granting powers. Too many of the Report's staff & crew have discovered him in a field of flowers wishing to be back on network news shows. One wish he made - "If I can't be back on CBS News then CBS News shouldn't be allowed to exist!" - seems to be coming true. Dandelion wishes may be granted over a longer period of time than previous thought. In any event, Dick Dickenbock loves dandelions, so that's what we're reporting on tomorrow.

Yes, tomorrow! Sunday April 5. From noon to 1pm. On XRAY FM - 91.1+107.1fm in town, xray dot fm everywhere. Dick Dickenbock has a dandelion & he is now wishing you would tune in. So maybe you better?

This Week In Self Help: March 29 + 31 (plus a bonus show)

Sorry I don't have a better picture for this week's recap of my radio blunders. It's a doorway with an ornate - would you call it a gate? it's not a screen - that I liked that I saw in San Francisco back in October. It has nothing to do with the radio I made this week, which went like this:

Sunday March 29. The Dickenbock Report on XRAY. It was Mermaid Day. You can listen to the show on the XRAY website. Listeners sent me images of mermaids!

Tuesday March 31. Self Help Radio on KBOO. A continuation of the celebration of The Rev Dr Howard Gently. You can listen to the show on the KBOO website. Or you can listen to the show on the Self Help Radio website.

Tuesday March 31. Corporate Standardized Progamming on KBOO. Music by artists we lost in November 2025. You can listen to the show on the KBOO website (after Self Help Radio). Or you can listen to the show on the Self Help Radio website.

Finally, I made an "evergreen" for Freeform Portland (to be played randomly whenever there was nothing scheduled) called The Freeform Alphabet. You can see the playlist when it played Friday morning on Spinitron. You can listen to it there for the next couple of week or you can listen to it here. I'll put the playlist up on the Self Help Radio website next week.

That's it. Whew.