Self Help Radio 101326: Chariots

(original image found here)

Here is my show about chariots. Listening to the show, I realized I have never ridden in a chariot. I don't know if I'd want to, but I kinda wish someone would have at some point offered me a ride in a chariot. I've actually only ridden a horse once, & it wasn't that much fun. But a chariot - especially as a passenger - might have been exciting. Oh well.

Listen to the show if you wanna at the Self Help Radio website or at the KBOO website. Most everything that happened on the show is listed below.

Seriously, if you have a chariot, invite me along, willya?

Self Help Radio Chariots Show

"Swingin' At The Chariot" Anthony & The Sophomores _Play Our Oldies Mr. D.J._

"Some Trust In Chariots" Rod McKuen _The Loner & 13 Other Rod McKuen Songs Of Love & Loneliness_

"Horses & Chariots" The Open Mind _The Open Mind_

introduction & definitions

"Chariots Of Silk" Tyrannosaurus Rex _Unicorn_

"Painted Chariot" The Incredible String Band _Liquid Acrobat As Regards The Air_

"Roll The Old Chariot (feat. Mary Benson)" Louis Killen, Stan Hugill, & The X-Seamen's Institute _Sea Songs_

"General Chariot Corp." Bob Newhart _The Button-Down Mind On TV_

"Broken Chariot" CocoRosie _Tales Of A GrassWidow_

interview with Ben Howard, who was a chariot maker in his past lives

"Chariots Of The Gods" The Stampeders _From The Fire_

"Chariots Of The Gods" Russell Miles _Archaeology_

"The Chariot" Janis King _Tarot Mastery: Decoding The Tarot With Definitive Card Meanings_

"Chariot" Beach House _B-Sides & Rarities_

"Chariots" Horse Jumper Of Love _Natural Part_

interview with Buddy Howard, who owns a chariot

"Chariot" Aoife Nessa Frances _Protector_

"Chariot" Babehoven _Water's Here In You_

"The Chariot Race" Ben Blur _The Chariot Race_

"The Chariot" The Cat Empire _The Cat Empire_

"Chariot Rock (feat. Genesis Blu)" Free Radicals _White Power Outage Volume 1_

a discussion about the most famous chariot song of all

"Swing Low, Sweet Chariot" Paul Robeson _On My Journey: Paul Robeson's Independent Recordings_

"Swing Low, Sweet Chariot" Langston Hughes _The Glory Of Negro History_

"Let Me Ride (Swing Down Chariot)" The Staple Singers _Chicago Hit Factory - The Vee Jay Story 1953-1966_

"Good News (Chariot's Comin')" The Four Tunes _The Complete Jubilee Sessions_

"Sweet Chariots" Bid _The Monochrome Set: Volume, Contrast, Brilliance... (Sessions & Singles Vol. 1)_

conclusion & goodbye

"Chariots On Fire" Rocket From The Crypt _All Systems Go III_

"Chariot" Knife & Fork _The Higher You Get, The Rarer The Vegetation_

"Chariot" Professor & Maryann _Runaway Favorite_

"Charioteers" Social Studies _Wind Up Wooden Heart_

Whither Chariots?

(photo by Giovanni Dall'Orto from Wikipedia)

Why do a show about chariots, you might wonder. Is it because of having heard one of the literally hundreds of versions of "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot" out there? No. Is it because I either watched the film or heard the soundtrack recently for Chariots Of Fire? No. Oh no Gary is it because you someone found yourself reading the pseudoscientific book Chariots Of The Gods? Is that it? Oh say it isn't so!

In case you have never heard of that book, which came out the year I was born, let me tell you, it was written by a Swiss author named Erich Von Däniken & Wikipedia adds the delightful fact that "The book was extensively rewritten by its editor, Wilhelm Roggersdorf," Ouch,

Here's the thesis, courtesy of the Wikipedia: "The main thesis of Chariots Of The Gods is that extraterrestrial beings influenced ancient technology. Von Däniken suggests that some ancient structures & artifacts appear to reflect more sophisticated technological knowledge than is known or presumed to have existed at the times they were manufactured. Von Däniken maintains that these artifacts were produced either by extraterrestrial visitors or by humans who learned the necessary knowledge from extraterrestrials."

So, you're thinking, it's also a little racist? Yeah.

But no, I wasn't reading the book. It was one of the books my friend Russell was fascinated by as a kid - the sort of thing his character Howard Gently would later make fun of. Before I did the last Howard Gently show a month ago, I re-listened to Russell's album from 1984 called Archaeology on which he has a song called (you guessed it) "Chariot Of The Gods." I wanted to play it on the radio & thought I might find more songs about chariots. & so I have.

The chariots show airs tonight on KBOO - 90.7fm in town, kboo dot fm everywhere - from midnight to 2am. Thankfully my show is so amateurish no one has ever suspected aliens are actually behind it!

Preface To Chariots: Chariot Racing

(Still from Ben Hur grabbed at the link I mention in the post.)

At some point in the childhood of the average American kid in the 1970s, you got to watch Ben Hur on television. We were poor so didn't have a color television so the first time I saw it - probably in a very edited version chock full of commercials - I didn't see it in glorious color. & by the time I saw it, the movie had been around for almost twenty years, so all the elements of the race had been parodied many times over - especially in cartoons. Still, I do recall being thrilled by the race & looking forward to it when I saw it again. You can watch all of it on You Tube.

It's not the reason I'm doing a show about chariots - I'll talk about that tomorrow - but it's one of the first things I think about when I hear the word "chariot" - & maybe it is for you, too.

Coming Up Tomorrow On The Dickenbock Report: It's My Party Day

October 11 is "It's My Party Day" & although Dick Dickenbock has been uninvited to more parties than any other human alive, he still thinks the Report should report on parties - including interviewing a party planner. He knows that if he plans the party, the staff & crew of the Report will feel obligated to come.

Find out all about parties on Sunday, October 11, from 11am to 1pm, on XRAY FM - on the air at 91.1+107.1fm in Portland, but available everywhere at xray dot fm.

This Week In Self Help: October 4 6 + 8

You can tell by the unopened packages of individually sliced vegan cheeses that it's time for me to tell you the dumb radio I made this past week. Why are they stored by the window tho?

Sunday 10/4 Dickenbock Report XRAY. National Vodka Day. Listen here.

Tuesday 10/6 Self Help Radio KBOO. Anniversary show! The theme "cheese" revisited. Listen here. Or you can download the show here.

Tuesday 10/6 Corporate Standardized Programming KBOO. New releases. Listen here (after Self Help Radio). Or you can download the show here.

Thursday 10/8 Welcome To Your Good Day XRAY. A sub show. Listen here.

Maybe I'm trying to see if vegan cheese can melt?

Self Help Radio 100626: Cheese Revisited - The 24th Anniversary Show

24 years! That's a lot of cheese.

Luckily I keep myself very busy or else it might be weird to ponder twenty-four years of this nonsense. When I was a kid, I could never finish anything - I had dozens of home-made comics I started but never go to the end - & these were just four pages! (One piece of paper folder in half.) (I liked making the cover most of all.) So doing this one thing for 24 years - who the hell knows how many episodes - it's something like an achievement I guess.

Anyway, if you wanna listen to this show you can visit the show's page at KBOO or visit the Self Help Radio website. Most everything that happened on the show is below.

Fingers crossed I won't be doing this twenty-four more years. Eeek.

Self Help Radio Cheese Anniversary Show

"I Like Stinky Cheese" Dick 'Two Ton' Baker _The Music Maker Of Chicago_

"(I Got A Disease) I'm Addicted To Cheese" Evaporators _Ripple Rock_

"I Like Cheese" The Cheese Band _Party Fun With Recorders Volume 1_

introduction & old audio clip - featuring Kim & Phillip

"The Cheese Song" Kirk Moore _Top Hits_

"Cheese" Cyril Ornadel & Hal Shaper _Treasure Island_

"The Cheese Song" Mick Kolassa _Americana Essentials_

"Cheese Shop" Monty Python _The Monty Python Matching Tie & Handkerchief_

"Cheese & Crackers" The Two Man Gentlemen Band _Two At A Time_

"Cheese & Crackers" Rosco Gordon _Rosco's Rhythm_

interview with Maxine & Stewart, former Cheese Kids

"Limburger Lover" Leona Anderson _Music To Suffer By_

"The Cheese Song" Bubboon's Tunes _The Kids Corner: 20th Anniversary Celebration_

"Cheese, Peas, Pickles, & Bananas" Nora O'Connor & Steve Frisbie _The Bottle Let Me Down (Songs For Bumpy Wagon Rides)_

"Bunnyrabbits, Satan, Cheese, & Milk" Stark Effect _Mic In Track_

"(Ooey Gooey) Green Cheese" Freddie Montell _Destination Forbidden Planet (37 Outer Space Shock Treatments)_

"Green Cheese" Merle Travis _Guitar Rags & A Too Fast Past_

our favorite librarian Carole stops by!

"The Cheese Boogie Deluxe" The Oosik Music Company _Slow Musicians Playing_

"Cheese & Wine" Waste Of Aces _Perfect Day_

"Cheese & Onions" Galaxie 500 _Rutles Highway Revisited (A Tribute To The Rutles)_

"The Cheese Alarm" Robyn Hitchcock _Jewels For Sophia_

"Grilled Cheese" Cherry Glazerr _Haxel Princess_

"Crackers & Cheese" The Jangleberries _Top Of The Pops With Murray Walker_

interview with farmer Don Conelly

"Rats Been On My Cheese" Walter Vincson _Complete Recorded Works In Chronological Order (1928-1941)_

"Cheese All Week Long" Oscar Boyd _Cheese All Week Long_

"Welfare Cheese" Emanual Laskey _Shakin' Fit_

"Cheesies & Gum" Martha & The Muffins _Metro Music_

"Cheese" Jim Gaffigan _The Last Supper_

"American Cheese" Electric Six _Zodiac_

conclusion & goodbye

"Cheese & Toast" BMX Bandits _My Chain_

"Chips & Cheese, Pint Of Wine" MJ Hibbett _A Million Ukeleles_

"People Are Asleep, Dreaming Of Cheese" Cornell Hurd Band _A Stagecoach Named Desire_

"All-American Cheesecake" Super _Seven Summers (International Pop Volume Two)_

Whither Cheese Revisited (The 24th Anniversary Show)?

The answer to the question "why is this week's theme 'cheese'?" is answered in the parenthetical remark: it's an anniversary show.

At some point, when it became obvious I might be doing Self Help Radio for a while, I decided to revisit themes on my anniversary shows. My first anniversary show - meaning, the first show where I revisited a theme, not the show's first anniversary - happened in 2008, when the show was but six years old. I guess I had really wanted to revisit a theme. Or commemorate the show somehow - after all, I did not know I would still be doing it after even six years.

This year I decided to revisit a theme I explored in April of 2008. It was the first of the last four shows I did on KOOP, the station where the show originated. Though I did in fact stay in Austin for another year due to a change of plans, I didn't return to KOOP that last year. I did the show as a "podcast" which no one really listened to. The show wouldn't return to the air until the summer of 2009 when it premiered on WMUL in Huntington, Virginia.

Back in 2008, I did eat cheese made from dairy. I no longer do that. I am very lucky to live in Portland where non-dairy cheeses can be found almost everywhere - especially on pizza. The pizza game in Portland is strong. I don't feel weird about doing a show that is mostly about something I no longer eat because I have very fond memories of cheese. I don't miss it - I don't have to! - but I do know when I did the show in 2008 my diet was probably 65% cheese.

& yes, the first Self Help Radio aired around this time in Austin in 2002. So it is indeed the 24th anniversary show. Maybe I'm hoping for pictures? & someone will tell me, "Say cheese!"

It happens tonight on KBOO from midnight to 2am. That's 90.7fm in town, kboo dot fm everywhere. Come for the cheese, stay for the music.

Preface To Cheese Revisited (The 24th Anniversary Show): Swissland Cheese Co.

On September 20, 2015 - almost exactly eleven years ago - we were driving home from Fort Wayne, Indiana (home then was Lexington, Kentucky) down state highway 27 - I wanted to see more of the state, so we didn't go back the way we came, up I-75 in Ohio - & I snapped this picture. We didn't stop because I'm certain the Swissland Cheese Co. had only dairy cheeses, & neither me or my wife ate those anymore.

On April 4, 2008, from 4:30 to 6pm, I was on the air on KOOP in Austin, hosting the the fourth-to-the-last episode of Self Help Radio that would air on the station - the station where it originated almost six years earlier. At the time, I thought I'd be leaving Austin in mere months - it turns out it took a little longer.

Self Help Radio premiered on October 9, 2002. Almost exactly twenty-four years ago. I have written about how I didn't know I'd still be doing the show so many years later. My only previous radio experience on KVRX lasted barely five years. But though I left Austin in 2009, I brought Self Help Radio with me, & of course I still do it here in Portland duh,

On my anniversary shows, I like to repeat old themes. On April 4, 2008, the theme was "cheese." It seemed a nice idea to return to that theme. & so I shall.

Some more thoughts on anniversaries & the like tomorrow.

Coming Up Tomorrow On The Dickenbock Report: National Vodka Day

October 4 is National Vodka Day. While The Dickenbock Report does not encourage drinking, & in fact will show you are the horrific facts of how alcohol ruins lives, we also have an obligation to report the news. So don't blame us for anything bad happening relating to vodka, okay? You didn't blame Walter Cronkite for the Vietnam War, did you? Sheesh.

It's happening Sunday, October 4, from 11am to 1pm on XRAY - 91.1+107.1fm in Portland, xray dot fm everywhere. Please. Listen responsibly.

This Week In Self Help: September 27 + 29 & October 1

Not sure where I found that photo - reverse image search is not being helpful - but there's some information about the Globe Of Death motorcycle act here. Here's what my radio week was like:

September 27 was National Scarf Day. I did a show about scarves on The Dickenbock Report on XRAY. You can listen to that show here.

September 29 on Self Help Radio I did a show with the theme "globes" on KBOO. You can listen to that show here. Or you can listen to that show here.

Also on September 29 on KBOO I had an episode of Corporate Standardized Programming featuring artists we lost in April of this year. You can listen to that show here (after Self Help Radio). Or you can listen to that show here.

Finally, on October 1 I subbed Welcome To Your Good Day on XRAY. You can listen to that show here.

Anyway, if you need me, I'll probably be spinning round the globe of death.

Self Help Radio 092926: Globes

In a radio show about globes, there's lots of music plus silly interviews. It's an episode of Self Help Radio. I found that globe one day on someone's lawn. & took a picture of it. Now I wish I had turned it over or something but at the time I liked that it had Antarctica at the top. The Self Help Radio logo is covering a hole, so it obviously was once on the bottom. There's sure a lot of water on this planet of ours.

You can listen while spinning your own globe now at either the KBOO web page or the Self Help Radio web page. Everything that happened on the show is listed below. Or mostly everything.

Guess I don't have much more to say about globes!

Self Help Radio Globes Show

"The Globe" Big Audio Dynamite II _The Globe_

"Mental Floss For The Globe" Urban Dance Squad _Mental Floss For The Globe_

"Digital Globe" Richard H. Kirk _Earlier/Later (Unreleased Projects Anthology 74-89)_

introduction & definitions

"Dark Globe" Syd Barrett _The Madcap Laughs_

"Globe Of Frogs" Robyn Hitchcock & The Egyptians _Luminous Groove_

"Roads Girdle The Globe" XTC _Drums & Wires_

"The Inflatable Globe" Theodore Spencer _An Album Of Modern Poetry British & American: An Anthology Read By The Poets_

"Sheet Metal Globe Stand" Nel Aspinal _The Romans' Map To Heaven_

interview with geomancer Chase Lassiter

"Travelling The Face Of The Globe" Oi Va Voi _Travelling The Face Of The Globe_

"Globetrotter" Kiala & The Afroblaster _Money_

"Roun' The Globe" Nappy Roots _Wooden Leather_

"One Of The Fairest Portions Of The Globe" Adam Arkin _Lewis & Clark: The Journey Of The Corps Of Discovery (Original Soundtrack Recording)_

"Bright Green Globe" Down By Law _Punkrockacademyfightsong_ 

interview with globetrotter Trick Hooper

"Snow Globe" Crayon _Brick Factory_

"Snowglobe" Secret Shine _There Is Only Now_

"Snow Globe World" Spinning Cat & Anthony Fonseca _Random Acts: Poems & Musical Interludes_

"Snowglobe" Ada Lea _When I Paint My Masterpiece_

"Snow Globes" Black Country, New Road _Ants From Up There_

interview with globemaker Noah Cruise

"Glimmer Globe" Shampoo _We Are Shampoo_

"Globe Alone" Blur _The Great Escape_

"Holding All The Globes" Boat _50 Sweaty Boat Fans Can't Be Wrong: The Early Recordings Volume 1_

"Queen Of Globes & Mirrors" Sharp Pins _Balloon Balloon Balloon_

"Globe Spinning" The Church _Further/Deeper_

conclusion/goodbye

"You're My Globe" Colleen & Paul _Colleen & Paul_

"The Globe" Ben Sollee _Inclusions_

"The Globe" Ruby Goon _Brand New Power_

Whither Globes?

(image by Marc Johns)

A show about globes was in the works for a while (I was actually mainly thinking of the word "global"), but it was given a push by the recent death of Tim Curry. On a dog walk after his death, I asked my wife if she had ever seen The Rocky Horror Picture Show in a theater with the audience participating. I described some of the things one might expect - approaching someone who had never been there & when they admitted it, calling them "virgin!"; the "say it!" when Frank N. Furter is saying "anticipation"; "Damn it, Janet, you're a slut!"; & one of the most charming things I saw when I first watched the movie in the theater when I was all of 17 years old - the bit at the beginning with the globe where members of the audience in unison help start the globe moving on the screen.

If you've seen it, you know what I mean, & if you haven't, & I am describing it poorly, it doesn't matter. There's a globe in the movie, it spins, it caused me to think about doing a show about globes, & that's how tonight's show came about.

There'll probably be no mention of Rocky Horror tho. Tune in tonight at midnight as Self Help Radio explores the theme "globes." It's on 12-2am on 90.7fm in Portland & everywhere at kboo dot fm. Tell me where, I'll find you on a globe.

Also RIP Tim Curry. What a talent.

Preface To Globes: The Pleasure Of Globes

A confession: I do not know where that image comes from. I downloaded it probably on Tumblr many moons ago. I do know it was taken by George W. Gardner & was apparently in a documentary at some point. But looking at that picture made me remember being a child & loving to look at globes.

Mainly in the library at school - we didn't have a globe at home. Staring at the globe, spinning it, tracing a line - an arc I guess - from where I was in Texas down past the equator to end up - where? Africa? The middle of the Atlantic Ocean? Australia? Then back up to China!

It's probably obvious I was a pretty dumb kid but I did love to pretend & even now my brain can't wrap itself around the idea we're on a round planet that rotates & as it does circles a star that's so huge but so far away it doesn't appear huge to us. A globe helps my brain. That's why they're such a joy.

& why don't I have a globe as big as the one in that picture? I don't have any room to put it in my house but boy do I want a globe that large!

Coming Up Tomorrow On The Dickenbock Report: National Scarf Day

September 27 is National Scarf Day & not a moment too soon! It's getting cold in Portland & you're not allowed to wear scarves around here under after National Scarf Day. & just speaking for the Dickenbock Report staff, there was been some very cold necks these past few weeks - especially those of us who ride our bikes to work! Brrrr!

Listen to musical reports & more about scarves tomorrow, Sunday, September 27, from 11am to 1pm on XRAY FM - 91.1+107.1fm in Portland, xray dot fm everywhere. & then go wild with the scarves!

This Week In Self Help: September 18 20 + 22

Above is the collage of releases I played on the Songcircle last week. I didn't get it made in time for the show. I seem to be constantly falling behind these days.

But the past week?

9/18 The Songcircle on KBOO. Lots of new releases. Listen here.

9/20 The Dickenbock Report on XRAY. National Punch Day. Listen here.

9/22 Self Help Radio on KBOO. The theme was "masterpiece." Listen here. Or listen here.

9/22 Corporate Standardized Programming on KBOO. Lots more new releases. Listen here (after Self Help Radio). Or listen here.

Hope I can catch up someday. Know I won't. But hope I can.