Whither Hives?

(image found here)

Tonight's show has the theme "hives." I have actually done lots of shows related to bees - bees themselves (three times!), honey, buzz, sting. It's not that I have a particular fondness for bees, though I suppose I do - but many of those were related to a membership drive theme on KBOO a few years back. Surprisingly, I never settled on hives. Though doubtless there were hive songs in one or most of the bee-related shows back then.

It being spring, I have noticed the bees coming back, & have loved to have them in my backyard. So I thought about doing another bee-related show & realized hives were an aspect of bees I hadn't explored. & yes, I know, bees aren't the only insects that have hives, & hives can mean other things - a skin condition, or a hive-mind - so the show wouldn't necessarily be all about bees. But I settled on the theme early in the spring & now it's time for a show about hives.

Which you can listen to tonight from midnight to 2am on 90.7fm in Portland & online at kboo dot fm. There might be honey! But also you might get stung.

Preface To Hives: That Is Not A Picture Of A Beehive

It's not. My guess is it's a close-up of a rock face. My computer found this in my raw unedited photos when I asked it to look for pictures of a hive. & by asked it (I use a Mac) I mean I typed it into the search bar. I don't want to talk to my computer. I don't want my computer to talk back to me.

Okay, I just checked. It's actually a close-up of a tree. I took the picture on March 31, 2021, at Tryon State Forest. It's nice that I keep records. How cool would it have been if I had taken a picture of a beehive while I was there?

But I don't even know if I've ever seen a beehive in the wild. & my little brother is allergic to bees & I've never been stung by a bee but I fear that I might be allergic so I would probably freak out around a real live beehive. Though to be honest I would probably still try to take a picture.

Interestingly, I did take some pictures today of beehives but not real beehives. I saw them on a fence as I cycled past. You'll see them shortly.

Coming Up Tomorrow On The Dickenbock Report: Motorcycle Mass & Blessing Of The Bikes Day

Yeah, that guy's probably going to need some divine protection.

May 3 is Motorcycle Mass & Blessing Of The Bikes Day. It's one of the more - um - spiritual holidays around. On this day, motorcyclists (& apparently bicyclists too) assemble for a special mass to have their bikes blessed. Dick Dickenbock isn't allowed on a motorcycle anymore (he's going to be commuting to work on his recumbent bicycle) but he thinks the day is newsworthy, so we'll most probably enjoy musical reports about motorcycles as well as the regular reporting you are used to.

That's tomorrow, Sunday, from noon to 1pm, on 91.1+107.1fm in Portland, xray dot fm everywhere - especially the open road. Just please, wear your helmet.

This Week In Self Help: April 24 26 + 28

Look, I have a lot of pictures of garages okay? Far more pictures than I have of "indiepop."

This week (it goes back to a Friday ago) I did this:

Friday April 24 on XRAY. I subbed a show & played songs about the radio & asked for money for XRAY's Spring Fund Drive. & we made the goal! Huzzah! If you wanna, listen to the show here.

Sunday April 26 on XRAY, there was an episode of The Dickenbock Report for National Garage Day. You can listen to that show here.

Tuesday April 28 on KBOO, I continued my Indiepop A To Z series - the eightieth episode! - in the letter. You can listen to that show here or you can listen to that show here.

Also Tuesday April 28 on KBOO, I had an episode of Corporate Standardized Programming in which I finished playing musicians who died in 2025 & started playing those who died this year. You can listen to that show here (after Self Help Radio) or you can listen to that show here.

& that's what I did on the radio the last week of April!

Self Help Radio 042826: Indiepop A To Z # 80

It's hard to believe that I have done eighty of these episodes. & even harder to believe I might do eighty more! I will obviously not live to see the end of this series. Which is an attempt (as the name suggests) to play lots of indiepop artists in alphabetical order. I explain on the show.

Yes, we're still in the letter S, traveling during this show from Slumber to Snippet. The biggest, most influential group this time around is The Smiths, & it was tough picking a representative song. At least one listener thought I did a decent job tho!

In any event. If you like indiepop &/or artists played in alphabetical order, this show is for you. You can listen now or whenever either at the KBOO website or at the Self Help Radio website. It was just songs & a little me talking in-between so the list below is everything on the show.

The series returns in August. & then every three months until I die. & I am not joking.

Self Help Radio Indiepop A To Z # 80 Show

"Sleepy Avenue" Slumber _Sleep EP_

"Everyone Else I Know" Slumber Party _Psychedelicate_

"Day Dream On A Sunny Day" Slumbook _Day Dream On A Sunny Day_

"Knee Deep" Kelly Slusher _Rocks & Tears_

"Digging My Feet In The Ground" Smack Dab _Majestic Root_

"Pretending It's Sunny" Small Factory _I Do Not Love You_

"In A Room Full Of Flowers" Jason Smart _The King Of Penguins, The Queen Of Bees_

"Tarts & Vicars" The Smashing Times _Mrs Ladyships & The Cleanerhouse Boys_

"The Boy I Wish I Never Met" A Smile & A Ribbon _The Boy I Wish I Never Met_

"My City" Smiling Marianne _Smiling Marianne EP_

"The Surveyor" Smiling Strangers _Smiling Strangers_

"All I Got From Lovin' You Was A Broken Heart" The Smith Garrett Band _All I Got From Lovin' You Was A Broken Heart_

"Fast Net" Brix Smith _Valley Of The Dolls_

"The Heat" Graham Smith _Final Battle_

"Your Work?" Karl Smith _The Sky Is Beginning To Bruise_

"In Your Head" Kendra Smith _Five Ways Of Disappearing_

"The Real Miss Charlotte" Linda Smith _Why Popstars Can't Dance_

"Daisy Fields" Nell Smith _Anxious_

"There Is A Light That Never Goes Out" The Smiths _The Queen Is Dead_

"Jefferson Lives!" Smitten Kitten _Jefferson Lives!_

"Half My Heart Beats" The Smittens _The Coolest Thing About Love_

"It's Over" Smudge _Hot Smoke & Sassafras_

"Southern Cross" The Snakes Of Shake _Southern Cross_

"The Things You Want" The Snapdragons _The Things You Want_

"Buddy" Snapper _Snapper_

"Coming True" Sneaky Feelings _Positively George Street_

"...And I'm Thinking" The Sneetches _Blow Out The Sun_

"Lovely Ugly People" Snippet _The T-Shirt EP_

Whither Indiepop A To Z # 80?

Tonight's Self Help Radio continues my Indiepop A To Z series, featuring lots of twee music, so, I thought, what is twee-er than a window full of elaborate cat figurines? Hence the photo above.

Let's see - we're still in the letter S. We'll start with Slumber & we'll end with - I don't know! What I do know is that we won't be finishing the letter S any time soon. It's the most popular letter in the English language! & not just because of plurals!

Alphabetize with me tonight from midnight to 2am on KBOO - 90.7fm in town, kboo dot fm everywhere.

Preface To Indiepop A To Z # 80: Texting Another Radio Show

Blah blah I'm playing more indiepop in alphabetical order this week blah blah.

What I wanted to say is that I got a funny text from a listener of The Dickenbock Report today. The whole schtick of the show is that there's this very old, somewhat famous news anchor, Dick Dickenbock, who has a show based on his fame but who never shows up & I'm the host. People text me at XRAY & call me "Dick," as do my guests, although I'm obviously not him, as he is fictional & I am not (I hope). But it's super fun when people play along. I got this text today:

Can you pass on a message to Dick. Tell him that this month's snort and bubbles party is at Bob and Mildred's. Jack and Emma are on vacation. (Dick calls them the Jackhammers! He's such a card!)

It's also very flattering when people step into the dumb world I've created. It delights me.

For the record, I texted back:

I'll pass along the message, thank you. Dick Dickenbock will be very grateful - he thought he might not be welcome since last time he brought that llama - he was afraid it was too show-offish.

Or something like that.

Now all I need to do is find someone who can impersonate Dick Dickenbock when he finally appears on the show...

Coming Up Tomorrow On The Dickenbock Report: National Garage Day

April 26 is National Garage Day. Although we can't broadcast from the garage, which where Dick Dickenbock's wife makes him go when he wants to smoke his pipe, we can report on garages - why they're important, what they're used for, why I need a pinball machine in mine.

That's Sunday, from noon to 1pm, on 91.1+107.1fm in Portland, online everywhere at xray dot fm. Wait. The garage door opener is out of batteries? How're we going to get the show out of there?

This Week In Self Help: April 17 19 + 21

(image from here)

Sadly my show about idols didn't have any songs about the god Ganesh, pictured above. There probably are plenty, I blame myself for not searching deep enough.

Oh yeah what did I do on the radio this week? I'll tell ya.

Friday 4/17 The Songcircle on KBOO. Lots of new stuff. Listen to that show here.

Sunday 4/19 The Dickenbock Report on XRAY. National Garlic Day. Listen to that show here.

Tuesday 4/21 Self Help Radio on KBOO. A show about idols. Listen to that show here. Or listen to that show here.

Tuesday 4/21 Corporate Standardized Programming on KBOO. I play more new releases. Listen to that show here (after Self Help Radio). Or listen to that show here.

Still can't believe I confused icons & idols. A listener texted me a long explanation which was better than the one I shared on the air. Maybe I should be giving my radio show to them.

Self Help Radio 042126: Idols

Despite having a tendency to confuse the words idol & icon, I somehow managed to make my way through this week's episode of Self Help Radio, which was in fact about idols (not icons). I played so many songs about idols that I suppose now I am officially an idolater. Or was, for two hours. I don't know if my radio show can really make anything official.

Howsoever you feel about idols - whether your religion uses them or forbids them - or if like me you have no religion so can feel about idols the way you wish - you'll be pleased I think to enjoy many songs about many different kinds of idols - as well as a few about idolizing, which is maybe more innocuous & less religiously charged than the average idol.

You can listen this show either at the KBOO website or at the Self Help Radio website. Most everything that happened on the show is listed below. Including a few times where I somehow say "icon" when I mean "idol." Sheesh!

Self Help Radio Idols Show

"Idol With The Golden Head" The Coasters _The Very Best Of The Coasters_

"My Singing Idol" Petite Teens _Teen Town U.S.A. Vol. 7_

"I Idolize You" Boss Hog _Boss Hog_

introduction & definitions (feat. the Definition-O-Tron 3000)

"Bone Idol (Original Single Version)" The Drones _Further Temptations_

"Idolization" Hagar The Womb _The Word Of The Womb_

"Kill Yr. Idols" Sonic Youth _Confusion Is Sex (Plus Kill Yr. Idols)_

"Teenage Idol" Vandals _Fear Of A Punk Planet_

"The Gods, Distressed, Revoke Idolatry..." Bongo Fury _Lord Mongrel Is Dying_

"Voodoo Idol" The Cramps _Psychedelic Jungle_

listeners Anna & Alex call in to complain

"Idols" Altered Images _Happy Birthday_

"I Got No Idols" The Juliana Hatfield Three _Become What You Are_

"Leather Idol" Tuscadero _The Pink Album_

"My Favorite Idol" Boy Wonder _Wonder Wear_

"American Idol" Wanda Sykes _Sick & Tired_

"New Idols" The Long Blondes _Singles_

interview with promoter Carl Reese

"Idoleyes" This Poison! _Magazine 1986-1988_

"Das Idol" Die Blizelbeeren _Frische Beeren EP_

"Favourite Fallen Idol" Adorable _Against Perfection_

"Something I Idolise" The Pristines _"Teen Fraud, Pop Whore" (Part-One)_

"Sonnet 105" Eli Wallach _The Complete Shakespeare Sonnets_

"Dress Like Your Idols" Boat _Dress Like Your Idols_

a discussion about the difference between an icon & an idol

"Wooden Idols" Jarboe _Thirteen Masks_

"Idol Worship! Idol Worship!" Love As Laughter _Laughter's Fifth_

"The Bones Of An Idol" The New Pornographers _Twin Cinema_

"The Idolness Of Gods" Echo & The Bunnymen _The Fountain_

"American Idol" Marc Maron _Final Engagement_

"Idol" Cleaners From Venus _The Late District_

conclusion & goodbye

"Barren Idol" Romantic States _Corduroy In Italy_

"My Idol" Stereo Total _Ah! Quel Cinéma!_

"Idols" Like A Motorcycle _Dead Broke_

"You're The One I Idolise" Wild Billy Childish & CTMF _Last Punk Standing... & Other Hits!_

"Irrational Idol Thinking" Psychic Markers _Psychic Markers_

"Ídolo (Feat. Angelica Garcia)" Adrian Quesada _Boleros Psicodélicos_

Whither Idols?

That picture above is something I found on a internets over ten years ago, so I can't tell you where it's from. Trying to find it using a search engine's reverse-lookup feature shows me it was a joke replicated many times - but I suspect I found the original image on Tumblr at some point.

& yes, the picture shows icons but the show tonight is about idols - from the religious ones to the ones we admire for being figures in popular culture. I just liked the picture about icons.

There is a very dumb roundabout way I came to the theme. I was driving somewhere in Portland - probably in my hood - when I passed a Dollar Tree. (It must've been in my hood as there is one nearby on Foster.) For the longest time when I would see the name of that discount store, I would try to come up with some joke that will allow me to use the punchline, "I, Dollar Tree" - which would sound like "idolatry." It might even be something I could work into a radio show - but I suppose the theme would have to be "idolatry."

The thing is, there weren't all that many songs about idolatry, but there were lots about idols. So I decided to do a show about idols. I never did figure out a way to use the "I, Dollar Tree" pun. & I probably won't. So I share it with you now.

Told you it was dumb.

Preface To Idols: A Felt Record

(image from Discogs)

This is a record of which I am fond, Felt's 1984 release The Strange Idols Pattern & Other Short Stories. Curiously, there's not a song on the record called "The Strange Idols Pattern" & idols are not referenced in any of the songs so nothing from the record will show up on this week's program. It is Felt's third record & contains three songs of theirs I would consider excellent examples of their excellence: "Sunlight Bathed The Golden Glow," "Dismantled King Is Off The Throne," & "Crystal Ball."

Though I suspect a later deep-dive in the Creation label would have led me to discover Felt eventually, I was introduced to the band when I won one of their records on the radio. I was listening to KNON in Dallas in the summer of 1987 & I was the caller who won The Pictorial Jackson Review. The deejay asked me if I knew about the band, I said no, he said, "Oh you're gonna like them." & he was right!

One thing you'll never really see on this blog is music criticism from me because, one, I'm not a critic, & two, I don't think my opinions, such as they are, are valuable enough to anyone but me to have any desire to share them. As I have said before, I am lucky - I get to play the music I like on the radio. Critics use their own standards to try to persuade their audiences what is "good" or "bad" or "important." None of that makes any difference to me vis-a-vis your opinion. If you don't like something I like, that affects me not at all (although I guess it means you won't want to listen to my radio show). I'd much rather share things I like with you than explaining to you why I don't like things. & even when I don't like things, it doesn't bother me that someone else might like it. It's all subjective.

But if you asked me if I'd recommend this record, I'd say, sure! Though I'd tell you my favorite Felt record is Poem Of The River. There's a couple of (probably out-of-print) singles collections called Absolute Classic Masterpieces which give a thorough overview of the band. I don't rank my favorite bands but I can tell you Felt are one of my favorite bands.

& they're a band I thought of when I knew I was going to do a show about idols. A shame that they don't have a song I can play on the show.

Coming Up Tomorrow On The Dickenbock Report: National Garlic Day

April 19 is National Garlic Day. The Dickenbock Report is already a pungent program, but this week it'll be pretty garlicky. Musical reports, a report on Portland's Garlic Days, & more.

It's happening during XRAY's Spring Fund Drive, so please support the station if you can! Visit this address to give to XRAY. Visit this address to support The Report (which of course all goes to XRAY).

& make sure to listen tomorrow, Sunday, from noon to 1pm on 91.1+107.1fm in town, & online everywhere at xray dot fm. & sorry about the breath.

This Week In Self Help: April 12 + 14

For whatever reason, I don't have a lot of pictures of palaces on my computer. I think I already said I've never visited a palace. So that's why. My computer found this picture - taken in Puerto Rico in 2013 - where you can see the word palace. That's about as good as it gets with pictures of palaces for me.

This week was another week when I just did my regular shows. Those were:

The Dickenbock Report Sunday April 12. National Licorice Day. Listen here.
Self Help Radio Tuesday April 14. A show about palaces. Listen here. Or listen here.

Corporate Standardized Programming Tuesday April 14. A show featuring artists we lost in late 2025. Listen here (after Self Help Radio). Or listen here.

That's all. You may go now.

Self Help Radio 041426: Palaces

It's usual practice isn't it for a palace to have a sign or marquee outside to let everyone know it's a palace, right? That's so cool.

Here's a show about palaces. I don't think I've ever been in a palace. But I talked to people who live in a palace. & a home improvement dude who makes "little palaces." & played lots of songs about palaces. That seems almost as good? Okay I know it isn't but let me have my illusions!

You can listen to the show at the Self Help Radio website & at the KBOO website. Lots of stuff happened on the show, most of which is noted below.

Hey! Now we can say with spent two hours in palaces together! Okay maybe not.

Self Help Radio Palaces Show

"Palaces" Bart Davenport _Palaces_

"Palace" The Gay _You Know The Rules_

"Palace" Electric Sunset _Electric Sunset_

introduction & definitions

"Palaces Of Gold" Leon Rosselson _Palaces Of Gold_

"Haunted Palace" Renee Maskin _Is It Real_

"Trouble In The Palace" Elizabeth Harper _Elizabeth Harper_

"Little Palaces" Elvis Costello _King Of America_

"Buckingham Palace" Ann Stephens _Hello Children Everywhere_

interview with Princess Petra & Prince Peter (Part I)

"Crackerbox Palace" George Harrison _Thirty Three & 1/3_

"Princess Of The Pearl Palace" Luke Sweeney _Rishi_

"The Haunted Palace" Basil Rathbone _The Edgar Allan Poe Audio Collection_

"Caesar's Palace" The Watts 103rd Street Rhythm Band _Hot Heat & Sweet Groove_

"Palace Of The King" Freddie King _Getting Ready..._

interview with Princess Petra & Prince Peter (Part II)

"The Palace Roses" Todd Andrews _The American Song-Poem Anthology: Do You Know The Difference Between Big Wood & Brush?_

"The Wicked Palace Revolution" McCarthy _I Am A Wallet_

"Dream Palace" Galore _Dirt_

"Moon Palace" Ladytron _Gravity The Seducer_

"Great Palaces Of Immortal Splendour" Single Gun Theory _Millions, Like Stars In My Hands, Daggers In My Heart, Wage War_

interview with home improvement television show host Bert Laird

"Palace Of The Brine" Pixies _Trompe Le Monde_

"Ghost Palace" The Burning Hell _Ghost Palace_

"Echo Palace" Iguana Death Cult _Echo Palace_

"Palace Doctor" Thee Oh Sees _Mutilator Defeated At Last_

"The Palace Of Versailles" Al Stewart _Time Passages_

conclusion & goodbye

"Palace Of Mirrors" Crushed Stars _Displaced Sleepers_

"No Peace In The Palace" Grant McLennan _Horsebreaker Star_