While traveling to Australia, I heard the news that the world had lost another genius (I understand, this will keep happening the longer that I live). Though he hadn't made music for nearly thirty years, Don Van Vliet - Captain Beefheart - had made enough music to fill most of our heads with wonder until we disappear into the void ourselves. His was a strange, difficult, complicated gift, adding to the rock & roll idiom ideas beyond its immediacy & passion - though Beefheart had those too - ideas perhaps more suited to jazz or classical music. I confess, it was hard to get into him, but when his work clicked, it clicked into place as if it had belonged there all along.
I did my sorry best to celebrate his life with his songs & others' interpretations of his songs, on a sub show on WRFL Thursday. You can listen to it here. Even if I didn't manage to show off a fraction of his brilliance, I hope it caused someone listening - or someone still to listen - to want to seek his work out more. It's what a deejay usually wants.
How grateful I am I live in a time where his music has been preserved for me to listen to as long as I can!
Saturday, January 01, 2011
Friday, December 31, 2010
Back, At The End Of The Year
Every time I thought about writing in this blog this morning, I wanted to just detail how horrific the experience I had over my vacation - not in Australia, which was lovely - but in getting to Australia, & getting back from Australia. My god, how awful is United Airlines? As fucking awful as awful can be. That's what I want to write. Over & over & over.
Check this:
Our itinerary was fairly simple. Lexington to Los Angeles, with a stopover in Chicago. Then a looooooong flight to the bottom of the world. We'd leave on a Friday but arrive on a Sunday, which was fine, because on the way back, we'd leave on a Monday (at 5pm) & arrive on a Monday (at 11pm). The flight home, by the way, was supposed to be a mirror image of the flight there - looooooong flight to Los Angeles, then to Lexington with a stopover in Chicago. Easy, right?
No, United Airlines was not going to make it easy. We were in time for the flight to Los Angeles, way back two weeks ago, but the crew from United was late. That's all we heard, the only explanation, given with a shrug. "The crew is late, ho-hum. I'm sure you'll miss your flights but what can we do? The crew is late. Now leave us. You bore us."
We made it to Chicago some three hours later than we were supposed to, got very lucky & were able to fly standby to Los Angeles, but couldn't fly standby on the final flight (not the one we were booked on, of course, which had left three hours earlier) to Australia that evening. We apparently were not put on "emergency standby" (a status we didn't know existed before that time) by the last United employee we talked to. We watched our names on a television screen with all the graphical magic of 1980s public access cable get jumped over by people we felt were just complaining more loudly than us. Or maybe someone was getting blown. We just stood there for an hour in disbelief.
United oh so kindly gave us a hotel room & a fifteen dollar voucher (each!) for food. Never mind that the only flights down under were in the evening, & that we had to be out of the hotel by ten a.m. Never mind that you can't really eat all day *anywhere* for fifteen dollars, let alone in LA. Ignore that. We didn't get any sort of apology from United, nor really any sympathy or expression of regret for our situation which was caused entirely by their own mistakes. To be fair, a harried but helpful employee named Lou managed to get us flights for the last Sydney flight the next night (Saturday), & a nice fellow named Marcos helped us find our bags, which they wouldn't send to Australia since we weren't on the flight, but which, we found out, might not be sent along with us the next night unless we re-checked them in.
We lost a day on our vacation & never got a single "we're sorry" nor any attempt to offer us anything in recompense.
All of this would be a frustrating but zany story about how we got to a wonderful city & had a beautiful summer vacation while our houses back home were covered in ice & snow. Speaking of, this was all before the big blizzard that swallowed the east coast after Christmas. Indeed, since none of our travels went anywhere near there, it didn't really affect us at all. I bet you can hear in my voice a "however..." Because there is.
We arrived at the airport in Sydney on our last day there about three hours before the flight, only to find that hooray! United had delayed it till the evening. Why? Because the flight from Los Angeles was late, of course. Why didn't we think of that? So, six hours later, we take off, fully aware that our connecting flights were gone, gone, gone. A United employee in Sydney informed us that there were no United flights to anywhere near where we needed to go & punted us to US Airways. They arranged a red-eye to Charlotte, then an early morning flight to Lexington, meaning we'd get home about nine hours later than we were supposed to. With, of course, a long layover in Los Angeles, although not enough to earn us fifteen dollars each in meal vouchers. (Though we tried.)
I want to interject something here which I wish could be somehow taught or otherwise imparted to airline employees before they attempt to reschedule passengers on flights. I understand they're underpaid, & pretty underappreciated, but surely they could pay a little more attention. There were four of us - my wife & me, & her two graduate students - & when there are four people, there's an astonishingly good chance - I'd say they would be the best odds of your gambling life - that they want to sit together. We had four or maybe five sets of replacement boarding passes for different flights made for us by United & US Airways employees trying to be helpful, & every time we had to say, "Is it possible we could sit together?" after they gave us our first passes. I know, it seems too common sensical. Better play it safe & assume the four people who appear to be together would rather not sit together.
Oh, & we always got seats, at least in pairs. So it wasn't like there weren't any. The helpful airline drone just hadn't thought, "I bet the married couple might want to sit together."
We arrived in Los Angeles very tired, very frustrated, although apparently the flight from Sydney to the States is shorter by about an hour & a half. Who knew? I was happy to be home, & was happy when the mustachioed Customs fellow said, "Welcome home!" That was nice. We were able to kill five or six hours until the flight to Charlotte, which was also mercifully short. We really thought we'd be home soon. What fools we were.
At 6am, in a North Carolina airport, I was the first to see that the flight to Lexington had red letters next to it that said "Cancelled." We managed to find a fellow who could book us on a flight to Louisville. (He was busy, & I am grateful for him taking the time out to help us, but he too didn't think we needed to sit together. I suspect they love randomization.) Why Louisville? It was simply the closest we could get to Lexington. We arranged to rent a car to drive home.
We wouldn't see our baggage, of course, for maybe thirty-six hours, but we just wanted to be home. The friend who was watching our pets had to go & the grad students had two Christmases to make up for. The wife bravely drove us home.
All of this, you understand, because an airline which, on all its flights, proudly trumpeted its upcoming suck-merger with Continental, couldn't be assed to actually make one of its scheduled flights. For no reason but the crew was late. They could have just lost time in their ugly person drug orgy, or they could have overslept. The airline itself couldn't have cared less. They cost us a day of vacation & needless anxiety & we were so exhausted & exasperated that the kindest word would have done us a world of good. None was forthcoming. They don't need to. I'm sure they expect that, once their "too big to fail" airline fails, the government will help them out.
If you ask me why I'll never fly United - or Continental - ever again, I will refer you to this story.
I'll talk about my radio show tomorrow. I just couldn't write anything else today.
Check this:
Our itinerary was fairly simple. Lexington to Los Angeles, with a stopover in Chicago. Then a looooooong flight to the bottom of the world. We'd leave on a Friday but arrive on a Sunday, which was fine, because on the way back, we'd leave on a Monday (at 5pm) & arrive on a Monday (at 11pm). The flight home, by the way, was supposed to be a mirror image of the flight there - looooooong flight to Los Angeles, then to Lexington with a stopover in Chicago. Easy, right?
No, United Airlines was not going to make it easy. We were in time for the flight to Los Angeles, way back two weeks ago, but the crew from United was late. That's all we heard, the only explanation, given with a shrug. "The crew is late, ho-hum. I'm sure you'll miss your flights but what can we do? The crew is late. Now leave us. You bore us."
We made it to Chicago some three hours later than we were supposed to, got very lucky & were able to fly standby to Los Angeles, but couldn't fly standby on the final flight (not the one we were booked on, of course, which had left three hours earlier) to Australia that evening. We apparently were not put on "emergency standby" (a status we didn't know existed before that time) by the last United employee we talked to. We watched our names on a television screen with all the graphical magic of 1980s public access cable get jumped over by people we felt were just complaining more loudly than us. Or maybe someone was getting blown. We just stood there for an hour in disbelief.
United oh so kindly gave us a hotel room & a fifteen dollar voucher (each!) for food. Never mind that the only flights down under were in the evening, & that we had to be out of the hotel by ten a.m. Never mind that you can't really eat all day *anywhere* for fifteen dollars, let alone in LA. Ignore that. We didn't get any sort of apology from United, nor really any sympathy or expression of regret for our situation which was caused entirely by their own mistakes. To be fair, a harried but helpful employee named Lou managed to get us flights for the last Sydney flight the next night (Saturday), & a nice fellow named Marcos helped us find our bags, which they wouldn't send to Australia since we weren't on the flight, but which, we found out, might not be sent along with us the next night unless we re-checked them in.
We lost a day on our vacation & never got a single "we're sorry" nor any attempt to offer us anything in recompense.
All of this would be a frustrating but zany story about how we got to a wonderful city & had a beautiful summer vacation while our houses back home were covered in ice & snow. Speaking of, this was all before the big blizzard that swallowed the east coast after Christmas. Indeed, since none of our travels went anywhere near there, it didn't really affect us at all. I bet you can hear in my voice a "however..." Because there is.
We arrived at the airport in Sydney on our last day there about three hours before the flight, only to find that hooray! United had delayed it till the evening. Why? Because the flight from Los Angeles was late, of course. Why didn't we think of that? So, six hours later, we take off, fully aware that our connecting flights were gone, gone, gone. A United employee in Sydney informed us that there were no United flights to anywhere near where we needed to go & punted us to US Airways. They arranged a red-eye to Charlotte, then an early morning flight to Lexington, meaning we'd get home about nine hours later than we were supposed to. With, of course, a long layover in Los Angeles, although not enough to earn us fifteen dollars each in meal vouchers. (Though we tried.)
I want to interject something here which I wish could be somehow taught or otherwise imparted to airline employees before they attempt to reschedule passengers on flights. I understand they're underpaid, & pretty underappreciated, but surely they could pay a little more attention. There were four of us - my wife & me, & her two graduate students - & when there are four people, there's an astonishingly good chance - I'd say they would be the best odds of your gambling life - that they want to sit together. We had four or maybe five sets of replacement boarding passes for different flights made for us by United & US Airways employees trying to be helpful, & every time we had to say, "Is it possible we could sit together?" after they gave us our first passes. I know, it seems too common sensical. Better play it safe & assume the four people who appear to be together would rather not sit together.
Oh, & we always got seats, at least in pairs. So it wasn't like there weren't any. The helpful airline drone just hadn't thought, "I bet the married couple might want to sit together."
We arrived in Los Angeles very tired, very frustrated, although apparently the flight from Sydney to the States is shorter by about an hour & a half. Who knew? I was happy to be home, & was happy when the mustachioed Customs fellow said, "Welcome home!" That was nice. We were able to kill five or six hours until the flight to Charlotte, which was also mercifully short. We really thought we'd be home soon. What fools we were.
At 6am, in a North Carolina airport, I was the first to see that the flight to Lexington had red letters next to it that said "Cancelled." We managed to find a fellow who could book us on a flight to Louisville. (He was busy, & I am grateful for him taking the time out to help us, but he too didn't think we needed to sit together. I suspect they love randomization.) Why Louisville? It was simply the closest we could get to Lexington. We arranged to rent a car to drive home.
We wouldn't see our baggage, of course, for maybe thirty-six hours, but we just wanted to be home. The friend who was watching our pets had to go & the grad students had two Christmases to make up for. The wife bravely drove us home.
All of this, you understand, because an airline which, on all its flights, proudly trumpeted its upcoming suck-merger with Continental, couldn't be assed to actually make one of its scheduled flights. For no reason but the crew was late. They could have just lost time in their ugly person drug orgy, or they could have overslept. The airline itself couldn't have cared less. They cost us a day of vacation & needless anxiety & we were so exhausted & exasperated that the kindest word would have done us a world of good. None was forthcoming. They don't need to. I'm sure they expect that, once their "too big to fail" airline fails, the government will help them out.
If you ask me why I'll never fly United - or Continental - ever again, I will refer you to this story.
I'll talk about my radio show tomorrow. I just couldn't write anything else today.
Friday, December 17, 2010
Off To Australia!
Hey! Self Help Radio will be visiting Australia - leaving today, arriving whenever - & won't be back until the end of the year. Please excuse both the silence of this blog & the lack of radio shows. I'll bring everyone back a wallaby!
See you around the end of 2010!
See you around the end of 2010!
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
The Legendary 1000th Post!!!
Hooray! A thousand posts. What began with a "I Can't Begin, I Must Begin" is bookended at a thousand posts with a "Maybe after a thousand more of these someone will actually read them!"
Here's an update on my crazy accounting. You can skip to below for the important stuff.
I started this blog on September 12, 2006.
The 100th post happened on March 7, 2007. That would've been roughly 176 days later.
The 200th post happened on August 13, 2007. (158 days after the 100th post.)
The 300th post happened on January 9, 2008. (149 days after the 200th post.)
The 400th post happened on May 26, 2008. (138 days after the 300th post.)
The 500th post happened on October 14, 2008. (141 days after the 400th post.)
The 600th post happened on March 25, 2009. (162 days after the 500th post.)
The 700th post happened on September 23, 2009. (186 days after the 600th post.)
The 800th post happened on February 19, 2010. (149 days since the 700th post.)
The 900th post happened on July 23, 2010 (154 days since the 800th post.)
& post number 1000 happened on December 14, 2010 - that's today! - 144 days since the 900th.
I applaud myself for being regular in ways my bowels can only dream of.
Now, you can listen to today's show, featuring my favorite indie music of 2010, over at self help radio dot net. If you're so inclined, there's a possible treat for you waiting at the Self Help Radio Facebook page. If you visit, might you want to like the show? It will make the hair on the back of my ears tingle.
This was the last Self Help Radio of 2010. I will be visiting the antipodes starting Friday so I shan't do radio nor blog for about two weeks. Expect my return somewhat near the end of the year. Hey. Anyone know any good record shops in Sydney?
I am sad there won't be a Very Self Help Radio Christmas this year, but oh well. Sometimes you lose battles in the War On Christmas. Sometimes Christmas counter attacks. Jeez. What a violent holiday is Christmas.
Have a happy holiday & thanks for listening & I'll see you soon. Maybe after a thousand more of these someone will actually read them!
Here's an update on my crazy accounting. You can skip to below for the important stuff.
I started this blog on September 12, 2006.
The 100th post happened on March 7, 2007. That would've been roughly 176 days later.
The 200th post happened on August 13, 2007. (158 days after the 100th post.)
The 300th post happened on January 9, 2008. (149 days after the 200th post.)
The 400th post happened on May 26, 2008. (138 days after the 300th post.)
The 500th post happened on October 14, 2008. (141 days after the 400th post.)
The 600th post happened on March 25, 2009. (162 days after the 500th post.)
The 700th post happened on September 23, 2009. (186 days after the 600th post.)
The 800th post happened on February 19, 2010. (149 days since the 700th post.)
The 900th post happened on July 23, 2010 (154 days since the 800th post.)
& post number 1000 happened on December 14, 2010 - that's today! - 144 days since the 900th.
I applaud myself for being regular in ways my bowels can only dream of.
Now, you can listen to today's show, featuring my favorite indie music of 2010, over at self help radio dot net. If you're so inclined, there's a possible treat for you waiting at the Self Help Radio Facebook page. If you visit, might you want to like the show? It will make the hair on the back of my ears tingle.
This was the last Self Help Radio of 2010. I will be visiting the antipodes starting Friday so I shan't do radio nor blog for about two weeks. Expect my return somewhat near the end of the year. Hey. Anyone know any good record shops in Sydney?
I am sad there won't be a Very Self Help Radio Christmas this year, but oh well. Sometimes you lose battles in the War On Christmas. Sometimes Christmas counter attacks. Jeez. What a violent holiday is Christmas.
Have a happy holiday & thanks for listening & I'll see you soon. Maybe after a thousand more of these someone will actually read them!
Monday, December 13, 2010
Snow! Snow! Snow!
It's a little weird to see the sun out while there's still snow
but boy there's a lot of snow!
I hope I can make it to the station tomorrow morning.
There's a lot of snow, you see.
How much snow? Officially almost two inches!
It seems like more in my backyard.
The sun's out - I wonder how much good that'll do.
Also, I wish I had a snow shovel.
Anyway, I still haven't finished this week's show.
I have lots to listen to.
Seriously, I marked down eighty seven records (finally)
as the most I've listened to this year.
Now I have to figure out the third of those I consider
my favorite. It's fun but also not fun.
Tomorrow morning, the last Self Help Radio of 2010:
it'll be early, you'll be snowbound.
Listen live on 88.1 fm or at wrfl dot fm.
Or later at self help radio dot net.
There is no "weather permitting" about it, yo.
but boy there's a lot of snow!
I hope I can make it to the station tomorrow morning.
There's a lot of snow, you see.
How much snow? Officially almost two inches!
It seems like more in my backyard.
The sun's out - I wonder how much good that'll do.
Also, I wish I had a snow shovel.
Anyway, I still haven't finished this week's show.
I have lots to listen to.
Seriously, I marked down eighty seven records (finally)
as the most I've listened to this year.
Now I have to figure out the third of those I consider
my favorite. It's fun but also not fun.
Tomorrow morning, the last Self Help Radio of 2010:
it'll be early, you'll be snowbound.
Listen live on 88.1 fm or at wrfl dot fm.
Or later at self help radio dot net.
There is no "weather permitting" about it, yo.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Whither Gary's Favorite Indie Music 2010?
Oh man, what a year in music. Not that I'd really know, if you looked at my list of favorite music. Let me give you an example. A friend of mine (more of an acquaintance these days) works for a magazine, & this is his "best of" 2010:
LCD Soundsystem, This Is Happening; Kanye West, My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy; The Walkmen, Lisbon; The National, High Violet; Big Boi, Sir Lucious Left Foot: The Son Of Chico Dusty; Yeasayer, Odd Blood; Deerhunter, Halcyon Digest; Spoon, Transference; Local Natives, Gorilla Manor; Arcade Fire, The Suburbs; Sufjan Stevens, The Age Of Adz; Foals, Total Life Forever; Janelle Monáe, The ArchAndroid; How To Dress Well, Love Remains; Menomena, Mines
I have really nothing to say about this list except - while he shares many of these artists with other writer/editors of his magazine on their lists - I share only one, the National. I don't listen to commercial hip-hop because it really doesn't interest me, & a lot of the commercial indie up there (yeah, it's really a genre, you can argue with me if you like but it's basically the grandchild of "alternative" from twenty years ago) like the Arcade Fire & Sufjan Stevens is pleasant enough, but doesn't do much for me. I guess I can say I'm genuinely surprised, with most year-end lists, that there are no genuine surprises.
& I promise I'm not being purposefully contrary - I listened to (& played on my radio shows) at least five of those artists up there, & may play a few more. But this is why I don't call my show "THE BEST OF 2010." I am so far out of synch with what the tastemakers & professional music journalists think is "best" that it seems much more affable & sensible to say "my favorite."
Besides the one I mentioned above, what are my favorite records of 2010? You'll have to wait until Tuesday to find out...
LCD Soundsystem, This Is Happening; Kanye West, My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy; The Walkmen, Lisbon; The National, High Violet; Big Boi, Sir Lucious Left Foot: The Son Of Chico Dusty; Yeasayer, Odd Blood; Deerhunter, Halcyon Digest; Spoon, Transference; Local Natives, Gorilla Manor; Arcade Fire, The Suburbs; Sufjan Stevens, The Age Of Adz; Foals, Total Life Forever; Janelle Monáe, The ArchAndroid; How To Dress Well, Love Remains; Menomena, Mines
I have really nothing to say about this list except - while he shares many of these artists with other writer/editors of his magazine on their lists - I share only one, the National. I don't listen to commercial hip-hop because it really doesn't interest me, & a lot of the commercial indie up there (yeah, it's really a genre, you can argue with me if you like but it's basically the grandchild of "alternative" from twenty years ago) like the Arcade Fire & Sufjan Stevens is pleasant enough, but doesn't do much for me. I guess I can say I'm genuinely surprised, with most year-end lists, that there are no genuine surprises.
& I promise I'm not being purposefully contrary - I listened to (& played on my radio shows) at least five of those artists up there, & may play a few more. But this is why I don't call my show "THE BEST OF 2010." I am so far out of synch with what the tastemakers & professional music journalists think is "best" that it seems much more affable & sensible to say "my favorite."
Besides the one I mentioned above, what are my favorite records of 2010? You'll have to wait until Tuesday to find out...
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Preface To Gary's Favorite Indie Music Of 2010: I Live In The Shadows, Listening To Tunes All Night Long
Look! Since I've stopped doing the Saturday shows, I can start doing my "preface" posts again. I've sure missed them. I never get to write prefaces for books & stuff, so the idea that I can write prefaces for my blog pleases me. By the way, I still sometimes mispronounce "preface" in my head. I used to pronounce it "pre-face" instead of "pref-iss," probably because it helped me remember how to spell it, but I got corrected for saying it that way many times in middle school, so I started pronouncing it correctly. Except in my head.
I did the same thing with the word "reprise," which I thought sounded like "reprisal." Does anyone pronounce that word "re-preez-al"? I still think it's fine to pronounce the word "re-prize." But, I was corrected in middle school, so.
Also, I was corrected for pronouncing "ascertain" wrong. I didn't really know what it meant but I had a quote which used to word in a paper I wrote - I think it was Ben Franklin quote, & the meaning was pretty obvious in context - & I pronounced it "a-certain" not "ass-er-tane."
Come to think of it, the same person corrected me every time in middle school. It was my American History teacher Helen Lane. She was quite old, she's probably no longer with us. I got an award from her at the end of eighth grade & hugged her on stage when I accepted it. I caught some shit from my schoolmates from that, let me tell you.
I was going to write "my friends," but I didn't really have a lot of friends in middle school. Thinking about it, I had a somewhat close friend in fifth & sixth grades whose name was Phil Claunch, who moved away when his parents got divorced when he & I were in sixth grade, & it occurred to me I don't really remember what he looks like. That seems strange, doesn't it? We biked to school every day for most of fifth grade, & we walked to middle school together, but I don't have any idea what he looked like. I don't think anyone ever took any pictures of us together & I don't have school pictures from that time period. Oh wait! I still have my middle school yearbooks I think. He might be in the sixth grade volume. If he didn't move away before pictures were taken.
I'd go look for it, but they're in boxes upstairs. Not curious enough to go through the trouble, I suppose. Ah, well.
I did the same thing with the word "reprise," which I thought sounded like "reprisal." Does anyone pronounce that word "re-preez-al"? I still think it's fine to pronounce the word "re-prize." But, I was corrected in middle school, so.
Also, I was corrected for pronouncing "ascertain" wrong. I didn't really know what it meant but I had a quote which used to word in a paper I wrote - I think it was Ben Franklin quote, & the meaning was pretty obvious in context - & I pronounced it "a-certain" not "ass-er-tane."
Come to think of it, the same person corrected me every time in middle school. It was my American History teacher Helen Lane. She was quite old, she's probably no longer with us. I got an award from her at the end of eighth grade & hugged her on stage when I accepted it. I caught some shit from my schoolmates from that, let me tell you.
I was going to write "my friends," but I didn't really have a lot of friends in middle school. Thinking about it, I had a somewhat close friend in fifth & sixth grades whose name was Phil Claunch, who moved away when his parents got divorced when he & I were in sixth grade, & it occurred to me I don't really remember what he looks like. That seems strange, doesn't it? We biked to school every day for most of fifth grade, & we walked to middle school together, but I don't have any idea what he looked like. I don't think anyone ever took any pictures of us together & I don't have school pictures from that time period. Oh wait! I still have my middle school yearbooks I think. He might be in the sixth grade volume. If he didn't move away before pictures were taken.
I'd go look for it, but they're in boxes upstairs. Not curious enough to go through the trouble, I suppose. Ah, well.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Silly Blasphemies
In five posts - that is to say, on the post which I will post on Tuesday - I will have reached one thousand posts on this blog. Imagine that! I should make a big deal about it but I won't.
Here's what I wrote nearly five hundred posts ago, on this blog's 500th post:
I want to celebrate this ridiculously arbitrary moment by offering you something. You can claim it by doing the following: send an email to me with an address to which you'd like me to send you stuff. What will I send you?
I will send you the Self Help Radio Self Help Love Yourself Self Pack! It will include (probably) a Self Help Radio tee-shirt, a Self Help CD, some miracle sand I got in the Holy Land (or is that for my religious show?) & other stuff. Just send me an email that says "Happy Anniversary!" & that's it. It's my way of saying, "Just like my birthday, I have to buy other people stuff to celebrate my anniversary."
No one wanted it. I can't imagine that wouldn't change now, two years & a thousand miles later. Not to mention five hundred posts! Do you want something from me to celebrate writing a thousand separate entries in this nonsense blog? Tell me before too late. I'm not waiting up.
Here's what I wrote nearly five hundred posts ago, on this blog's 500th post:
I want to celebrate this ridiculously arbitrary moment by offering you something. You can claim it by doing the following: send an email to me with an address to which you'd like me to send you stuff. What will I send you?
I will send you the Self Help Radio Self Help Love Yourself Self Pack! It will include (probably) a Self Help Radio tee-shirt, a Self Help CD, some miracle sand I got in the Holy Land (or is that for my religious show?) & other stuff. Just send me an email that says "Happy Anniversary!" & that's it. It's my way of saying, "Just like my birthday, I have to buy other people stuff to celebrate my anniversary."
No one wanted it. I can't imagine that wouldn't change now, two years & a thousand miles later. Not to mention five hundred posts! Do you want something from me to celebrate writing a thousand separate entries in this nonsense blog? Tell me before too late. I'm not waiting up.
Tuesday, December 07, 2010
Love Me, Love My Robot
It's that time of year again, when I play the stuff I've listened to & liked most this year - in the electronica genre, this week. I know, I keep saying this, but I want to hammer it home that don't think this is a "best of" - I'm not qualified enough to say that & I assume I've missed a lot of good releases this year - so take this collection as simply what I enjoyed best & realize that in three weeks &/or three months I'll discover something very great that I didn't know about at this time. Until every artist in the world sends me all their stuff on a regular basis, that's how it's going to be.
The show is now available for your audial consumption at self help radio dot net. I am not allowed to give away my "home made" CDs like I usually do (it's against station policy on WRFL), so instead I share some mp3s (without my airbreaks or any radio show trappings) for a couple of weeks in a zip file at this link here. It includes a lot more music - 25 songs - than I could play on a ninety minute show. Here is a list of the bands/musicians featured: Bruce Haack, The Books, Gold Panda, Four Tet, Nils Frahm & Anne Müller, Brian Eno, Oval, Flying Lotus, Mount Kimbie, Pantha Du Prince, To Rococo Rot, ISAN, Mrs Jynx, Arandel, Boy Is Fiction, Röyksopp, Faux Pas, The Flashbulb, Autechre, Baths, Grasscut, Deru, Caribou, Bonobo, & Emeralds.
Enjoy!
The show is now available for your audial consumption at self help radio dot net. I am not allowed to give away my "home made" CDs like I usually do (it's against station policy on WRFL), so instead I share some mp3s (without my airbreaks or any radio show trappings) for a couple of weeks in a zip file at this link here. It includes a lot more music - 25 songs - than I could play on a ninety minute show. Here is a list of the bands/musicians featured: Bruce Haack, The Books, Gold Panda, Four Tet, Nils Frahm & Anne Müller, Brian Eno, Oval, Flying Lotus, Mount Kimbie, Pantha Du Prince, To Rococo Rot, ISAN, Mrs Jynx, Arandel, Boy Is Fiction, Röyksopp, Faux Pas, The Flashbulb, Autechre, Baths, Grasscut, Deru, Caribou, Bonobo, & Emeralds.
Enjoy!
Monday, December 06, 2010
Ain't That A Kilt In The Head?
Today's blog entry, despite its title, has nothing to do with Scotland or the Scottish. Whom you shouldn't call "Scotch" because, as Wikipedia points out, it is "a largely obsolescent adjective meaning having to do with Scotland & usually now considered pejorative unless related to food or drink." Obsolescent? Pejorative?
Unless, one supposes, one uses the phrase Scotch-Irish, which, it turns out, is a pretty specific description of a group of immigrants & not, as some might have been taught in high school in the 1980s, "a lot of the white people who came to America in the 1800s."
Strangely, the disclaimer at the beginning of today's blog entry has actually gainsaid itself, since the disclaimer, by being two paragraphs long, is at some level about Scotland &/or the Scottish. The same holds true with this sentence, which expresses its own paragraph-length surprise at the irony of it all while continuing to refer to Scotland &/or the Scottish.
It has been a custom of the Self Help Radio blog to have nonsensical titles in the same manner that the blog's author has entitled emails to friends or girls with whom he wanted to be more than friends. Even the occasional work email has had a non sequitur or random word or phrase or even an obscure song lyric as a title, although that proved to be counterproductive. Below are some actual email "subject lines" from 1998 which the author of this blog used as titles of emails sent to a girl who almost but not quite became more than a friend & then, suddenly, ceased even being a friend:
Hamlet, pow! pow!
futnucker
Discursive Melancholia
swimmingly
slushily
sinfully
The Surreal Blonde
Lose E Anna
pools in eyes
purloined
Up-to-the-minute minuet
Two of those are references to song titles, one is a spoonerism for a possibly made-up obscenity, & four (or more) are puns. None of them refer in any way to the contents of the emails. Which, it must be noted, had nothing to do with Scotland &/or the Scottish.
One thing has changed from those girl-chasing, goofy-email-subject-lining days (besides the obvious - the author of those emails & this blog is now married & is not allowed to chase girls, whether in real life or on the internets, under full penalty of Wife's Law), which is that sometimes the author of this blog will think of a title first & then write a blog entry about the title. This is very much how Stephen King writes his encyclopedias. As has been continually pointed out to a ridiculous degree, this is not the case with this blog entry.
No, this blog entry is simply here to announce that tomorrow morning will be Self Help Radio's penultimate show of the year. The author of this blog (who is also the programmer of the show) & his aforementioned wife will be visiting the antipodes for the last two weeks of 2010, which means, alas, & it is sad to tell you this, there will be no A Very Self Help Radio Christmas this year. It could not be helped. A vacation was desperately needed & it's summer down under.
Tomorrow's show is entitled "Gary's Favorite Electronica 2010." For reasons explained elsewhere, it is not a "best of." The programmer of the show ("Gary") is nowhere near qualified to make such a preposterous claim about his taste. Instead, it's the music he's most enjoyed in the electronic vein during the year.
It airs, as it has all these last few months, too early in the morning tomorrow on 88.1 fm WRFL, but will be archived as soon as possible later in the day at the Self Help Radio website. Further reminders will be available on this blog as well as on the show's Facebook page. The show no longer has a myspace page & of course no one misses it or has even noted its passing.
Very well then. Please listen when you can. That would be most disarming.
Unless, one supposes, one uses the phrase Scotch-Irish, which, it turns out, is a pretty specific description of a group of immigrants & not, as some might have been taught in high school in the 1980s, "a lot of the white people who came to America in the 1800s."
Strangely, the disclaimer at the beginning of today's blog entry has actually gainsaid itself, since the disclaimer, by being two paragraphs long, is at some level about Scotland &/or the Scottish. The same holds true with this sentence, which expresses its own paragraph-length surprise at the irony of it all while continuing to refer to Scotland &/or the Scottish.
It has been a custom of the Self Help Radio blog to have nonsensical titles in the same manner that the blog's author has entitled emails to friends or girls with whom he wanted to be more than friends. Even the occasional work email has had a non sequitur or random word or phrase or even an obscure song lyric as a title, although that proved to be counterproductive. Below are some actual email "subject lines" from 1998 which the author of this blog used as titles of emails sent to a girl who almost but not quite became more than a friend & then, suddenly, ceased even being a friend:
Hamlet, pow! pow!
futnucker
Discursive Melancholia
swimmingly
slushily
sinfully
The Surreal Blonde
Lose E Anna
pools in eyes
purloined
Up-to-the-minute minuet
Two of those are references to song titles, one is a spoonerism for a possibly made-up obscenity, & four (or more) are puns. None of them refer in any way to the contents of the emails. Which, it must be noted, had nothing to do with Scotland &/or the Scottish.
One thing has changed from those girl-chasing, goofy-email-subject-lining days (besides the obvious - the author of those emails & this blog is now married & is not allowed to chase girls, whether in real life or on the internets, under full penalty of Wife's Law), which is that sometimes the author of this blog will think of a title first & then write a blog entry about the title. This is very much how Stephen King writes his encyclopedias. As has been continually pointed out to a ridiculous degree, this is not the case with this blog entry.
No, this blog entry is simply here to announce that tomorrow morning will be Self Help Radio's penultimate show of the year. The author of this blog (who is also the programmer of the show) & his aforementioned wife will be visiting the antipodes for the last two weeks of 2010, which means, alas, & it is sad to tell you this, there will be no A Very Self Help Radio Christmas this year. It could not be helped. A vacation was desperately needed & it's summer down under.
Tomorrow's show is entitled "Gary's Favorite Electronica 2010." For reasons explained elsewhere, it is not a "best of." The programmer of the show ("Gary") is nowhere near qualified to make such a preposterous claim about his taste. Instead, it's the music he's most enjoyed in the electronic vein during the year.
It airs, as it has all these last few months, too early in the morning tomorrow on 88.1 fm WRFL, but will be archived as soon as possible later in the day at the Self Help Radio website. Further reminders will be available on this blog as well as on the show's Facebook page. The show no longer has a myspace page & of course no one misses it or has even noted its passing.
Very well then. Please listen when you can. That would be most disarming.
Sunday, December 05, 2010
Whither Gary's Favorite Electronica 2010?
Sometimes listening to other radio shows makes me think I do too many airbreaks. Sometimes, though, some radio shows I listen to make me wish that the deejays did more airbreaks. Every radio show I listen to I have to listen to once the deejay is on the mic. That's true. If a deejay's talking, I have to listen, which is why I hate listening to talk radio - or even the news - in the car, especially if someone wants to talk to me while we're listening. I just can't tune out the voice on the radio if it's a noram talking voice. I have to listen to it. Um. Was this what I wanted to talk about?
Like last year, I still have tons of electronic releases that I've only listened to once, which I planned to listen to again, which is the sort of criteria for my show - "it's my favorite stuff I've listened to this year, which means I listened to it more than anything else" - I don't know why I put that in quotes, I don't believe I've written it exactly like that before - so technically because I haven't listened to it more than once, it shouldn't really qualify as "favorite electronica." But then again, there's always a chance I missed something. I am pretty sure I have.
Is it somewhat obsessive that I will try to find others' "best of" lists to see if there's something there that I missed? I suppose I am always relieved that most list-making folks don't have the same taste as I do. If I did share so many people's tastes, I might be a better fit for commercial radio, not the independent voices left of the dial. Not that I don't share some people's choices. Most electronica fans, for example, really liked Four Tet's record this year. I did too. But I don't share the modern electronica maven's love of dubstep, & I still tend to avoid dancey electronica as I always have.
It's really all about me, it's true. So what else is new? The best I can say is that it was an awesome year for electronica. The worst I can say is that it's my radio show that I'll be presenting it on.
Like last year, I still have tons of electronic releases that I've only listened to once, which I planned to listen to again, which is the sort of criteria for my show - "it's my favorite stuff I've listened to this year, which means I listened to it more than anything else" - I don't know why I put that in quotes, I don't believe I've written it exactly like that before - so technically because I haven't listened to it more than once, it shouldn't really qualify as "favorite electronica." But then again, there's always a chance I missed something. I am pretty sure I have.
Is it somewhat obsessive that I will try to find others' "best of" lists to see if there's something there that I missed? I suppose I am always relieved that most list-making folks don't have the same taste as I do. If I did share so many people's tastes, I might be a better fit for commercial radio, not the independent voices left of the dial. Not that I don't share some people's choices. Most electronica fans, for example, really liked Four Tet's record this year. I did too. But I don't share the modern electronica maven's love of dubstep, & I still tend to avoid dancey electronica as I always have.
It's really all about me, it's true. So what else is new? The best I can say is that it was an awesome year for electronica. The worst I can say is that it's my radio show that I'll be presenting it on.
Saturday, December 04, 2010
"My Ambition's Eyes Were Bigger Than Its Stomach"
Last summer (it's always hard to believe there is a summer when, as right now, the city is covered in snow, but there is, & so there may yet be), when I left WMUL, I had no idea that we'd be relocating to Lexington as quickly as we did. I left the station, as I might or might not have said, because, as far as I could tell, no one was listening to my show. Now, there's always a possibility that no one is listening to anything I do exclusively online ("podcasts") either, but at least it's not time-dependent. I would take the time, in good weather & bad, to travel to the station - often I had to visit the "department of public safety" (ie, campus cops) first, to get a key, as the station was usually locked up by four pm, broadcasting a majority of the time automated programming - & then I would spend three hours in a lonesome studio with no feedback from anyone, putting on the best damn show I could. Then, in the middle of the night, I'd lock up, return keys to the cops, & drive home with the drunks (bars closed at 3am in Huntington, so there were always a smattering of cars on the road - what radio station were they listening to?), usually feeling empty & forlorn, wondering why the hell I bothered.
By the way, I don't really know why no one listened to or seemed to respond to my show in Huntington. I don't mean to cast aspersions on the radio station itself. The Station Manager had plenty of anecdotal evidence of listeners for various shows. The management of WMUL simply didn't appear to care whether they had listeners nor did they do anything to actively increase listeners. For my part, I would completely understand if there was simply no one in Huntington who liked the sort of show I do. It was a bit unusual, however - in Austin, I did get calls from people who didn't like my show - so why not there? I did roughly fifty shows at WMUL - some of them, it's true, together in three- or four-hour blocks - in ten months there, & I got about three phone calls total from listeners who were not people associated with the station. I'm not entirely sure that my experience there wasn't the same as other deejays - certainly every semester, among the students at least, the station seemed to hemorrhage about a third of the on-air programmers who weren't somehow associated with the station's news & sports programming.
That's the main reason I left. I had given a great deal of myself to the station, not just in radio programming, & there was little to show for it besides an in-house award, & my name on a plague in the station's usually-empty halls. When I left, I fully expected that I would stay in Huntington for the time being, as my wife had a job there & we owned a house. I knew I would never want to return to WMUL, & I thought I'd be without a radio station for a year or perhaps longer. I announced, in this blog post, that I would continue Self Help Radio as a podcast (as I had done the year before in Austin) & also continue the shows I did on WMUL - Dickenbock Electronics & Sugar Substitute - as podcasts as well. I'd also add jazz & old-timey country blues shows into a rotation to keep myself busy. & I have. I've been doing them since June.
Suddenly! Though! The wife & I decided in July to relocate Lexington! We had travelled here a lot to escape Huntington - we also found ourselves visiting Athens, Ohio, & Columbus, Ohio, when we could. My wife had a job interview here - she actually got the job so she'll be working at the University of Kentucky starting in January - & on our visits we would listen to WRFL. I really liked it, far more than anything I ever heard on WMUL. For one thing, there were actual deejays on the air. You could call them & talk to them. Another is that they truly "owned" their shows - on WMUL, you had to play music from the station's library, & that library was very limited. WRFL seemed, as I've said before, to combine the best of both KVRX & KOOP, my two alma maters, & if you've heard those stations, you know it's high praise indeed.
Not only that, but the folks were incredibly welcoming, & the listeners - again, maybe the fact that Lexington is six times larger than Huntington, & the broadcast area is so much wider than WMUL's - they responded to me. I got a show as soon as we moved here & (you might have noticed) I have availed myself of the opportunities of subbing other people's shows as well as doing my own regular shows - Self Help Radio & Sugar Substitute. Last week I subbed four shows for a total of nine extra hours; this week I subbed two shows for a total of five extra hours. It's way too much fun & I am as always extremely grateful for the chance. Plus, just this morning, I chatted on the phone with an awesome listener who had lots to say about what I was playing. To say that that never happened in Huntington is being coy about it - nothing close to that ever seemed even remotely possible in Huntington.
This is a long way of saying that I unfortunately have been just too busy to do my Saturday podcasts. It breaks my heart because I really like putting them together, gathering the jazz & country blues & electronica that I listen to during my days of musical exploration & education. But I subbed a show this morning very early & just didn't have the time to put the show together today. I feel like a lame-o but I also need to be realistic about it. It's not that I don't have the time per se - it's that when I do have the time, I put much more effort into extracurricular WRFL shows than my Saturday podcasts.
Plus, I'm never sure if anyone's listening. I have Google Analytics installed but it doesn't seem terribly reliable. I also miss the spontaneity of live radio. I don't record the podcasts in real time, as you probably have guessed. It's fun but it's not as fun as doing shows on WRFL.
I promise, when I do WRFL specialty shows, I'll put them up more regularly. But for the time being, there'll be no more Dickenbock Electronics or Tags & Tricks or The Zeke Moonshine Show. My apologies to anyone who'll miss them, if there are any, but mainly my apologies to me. I thought I could continue in this manner for an indeterminate length of time, but my ambition's eyes were bigger than its stomach.
If, you know, ambition ate radio shows. Or something.
By the way, I don't really know why no one listened to or seemed to respond to my show in Huntington. I don't mean to cast aspersions on the radio station itself. The Station Manager had plenty of anecdotal evidence of listeners for various shows. The management of WMUL simply didn't appear to care whether they had listeners nor did they do anything to actively increase listeners. For my part, I would completely understand if there was simply no one in Huntington who liked the sort of show I do. It was a bit unusual, however - in Austin, I did get calls from people who didn't like my show - so why not there? I did roughly fifty shows at WMUL - some of them, it's true, together in three- or four-hour blocks - in ten months there, & I got about three phone calls total from listeners who were not people associated with the station. I'm not entirely sure that my experience there wasn't the same as other deejays - certainly every semester, among the students at least, the station seemed to hemorrhage about a third of the on-air programmers who weren't somehow associated with the station's news & sports programming.
That's the main reason I left. I had given a great deal of myself to the station, not just in radio programming, & there was little to show for it besides an in-house award, & my name on a plague in the station's usually-empty halls. When I left, I fully expected that I would stay in Huntington for the time being, as my wife had a job there & we owned a house. I knew I would never want to return to WMUL, & I thought I'd be without a radio station for a year or perhaps longer. I announced, in this blog post, that I would continue Self Help Radio as a podcast (as I had done the year before in Austin) & also continue the shows I did on WMUL - Dickenbock Electronics & Sugar Substitute - as podcasts as well. I'd also add jazz & old-timey country blues shows into a rotation to keep myself busy. & I have. I've been doing them since June.
Suddenly! Though! The wife & I decided in July to relocate Lexington! We had travelled here a lot to escape Huntington - we also found ourselves visiting Athens, Ohio, & Columbus, Ohio, when we could. My wife had a job interview here - she actually got the job so she'll be working at the University of Kentucky starting in January - & on our visits we would listen to WRFL. I really liked it, far more than anything I ever heard on WMUL. For one thing, there were actual deejays on the air. You could call them & talk to them. Another is that they truly "owned" their shows - on WMUL, you had to play music from the station's library, & that library was very limited. WRFL seemed, as I've said before, to combine the best of both KVRX & KOOP, my two alma maters, & if you've heard those stations, you know it's high praise indeed.
Not only that, but the folks were incredibly welcoming, & the listeners - again, maybe the fact that Lexington is six times larger than Huntington, & the broadcast area is so much wider than WMUL's - they responded to me. I got a show as soon as we moved here & (you might have noticed) I have availed myself of the opportunities of subbing other people's shows as well as doing my own regular shows - Self Help Radio & Sugar Substitute. Last week I subbed four shows for a total of nine extra hours; this week I subbed two shows for a total of five extra hours. It's way too much fun & I am as always extremely grateful for the chance. Plus, just this morning, I chatted on the phone with an awesome listener who had lots to say about what I was playing. To say that that never happened in Huntington is being coy about it - nothing close to that ever seemed even remotely possible in Huntington.
This is a long way of saying that I unfortunately have been just too busy to do my Saturday podcasts. It breaks my heart because I really like putting them together, gathering the jazz & country blues & electronica that I listen to during my days of musical exploration & education. But I subbed a show this morning very early & just didn't have the time to put the show together today. I feel like a lame-o but I also need to be realistic about it. It's not that I don't have the time per se - it's that when I do have the time, I put much more effort into extracurricular WRFL shows than my Saturday podcasts.
Plus, I'm never sure if anyone's listening. I have Google Analytics installed but it doesn't seem terribly reliable. I also miss the spontaneity of live radio. I don't record the podcasts in real time, as you probably have guessed. It's fun but it's not as fun as doing shows on WRFL.
I promise, when I do WRFL specialty shows, I'll put them up more regularly. But for the time being, there'll be no more Dickenbock Electronics or Tags & Tricks or The Zeke Moonshine Show. My apologies to anyone who'll miss them, if there are any, but mainly my apologies to me. I thought I could continue in this manner for an indeterminate length of time, but my ambition's eyes were bigger than its stomach.
If, you know, ambition ate radio shows. Or something.
Friday, December 03, 2010
All Is Folly!
I haven't played with the online rhyming dictionary in a while. I also haven't written a great bad poem in a while. Here are the "official" suggested rhymes for "folly" (edited for some redundancy & some wtf?):
ali (it seems like that has a different syllabic emphasis), bali, braly, brolly, cali (those three aren't real words, are they?), collie, dali, dolly, golly, holly, jolly, lolly, mali, mollie, molly, ollie, polly, poly, smalley (smalley?), solly, stolley, tolley (tolley?), volley, bengali, bialy, canale, fragale, gambale, natale, oncale, papale, quilali, somali, spinale, spitale, vitaly, zingale (I just don't really believe any of these are real words), campanale, caporale, cardinale, comunale, curiale, denatale, depascale, depasquale, dinatale, dipasquale, generali, massingale (you pronounce this "mas-in-golly"?), mexicali, parziale, speziale, imperiale, industriale, industriali, nazionale, internationale, meridionale
That's just daunting. Even after watching every episode of the Sopranos I'm not entirely sure that these are words real people use. I can try to look them up - campanale doesn't appear in any online dictionary, nor does depascale or zingale or spinale or (most disappointingly) quilali. Why you trying to fuck with me, rhyming dictionary?
My favorite folly rhyme comes from "The Money Song" by Eric Idle:
Some people say it's folly,
But I'd rather have the lolly
That is a real word.
ali (it seems like that has a different syllabic emphasis), bali, braly, brolly, cali (those three aren't real words, are they?), collie, dali, dolly, golly, holly, jolly, lolly, mali, mollie, molly, ollie, polly, poly, smalley (smalley?), solly, stolley, tolley (tolley?), volley, bengali, bialy, canale, fragale, gambale, natale, oncale, papale, quilali, somali, spinale, spitale, vitaly, zingale (I just don't really believe any of these are real words), campanale, caporale, cardinale, comunale, curiale, denatale, depascale, depasquale, dinatale, dipasquale, generali, massingale (you pronounce this "mas-in-golly"?), mexicali, parziale, speziale, imperiale, industriale, industriali, nazionale, internationale, meridionale
That's just daunting. Even after watching every episode of the Sopranos I'm not entirely sure that these are words real people use. I can try to look them up - campanale doesn't appear in any online dictionary, nor does depascale or zingale or spinale or (most disappointingly) quilali. Why you trying to fuck with me, rhyming dictionary?
My favorite folly rhyme comes from "The Money Song" by Eric Idle:
Some people say it's folly,
But I'd rather have the lolly
That is a real word.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Your Birthday & Applicable State & Federal Law
Recent studies have shown that virtually everyone on planet earth has what is commonly called a "birth day." This may include the Immortals, who, because of their long lives, have usually forgotten the day they were born & often "remember" several times a year to have more parties & get more presents. According to the Asimov Act of 2010, robots, androids, & other artificial life forms are no longer allowed to have birthdays, instead being allowed to celebrate only "dates of manufacture."
Self Help Radio, in accordance with federal laws & union policies, devotes one show a year to birthdays. This show can be celebrated by people who have had birthdays, people who will have birthdays, & both, & neither. Well, not neither. As allowed in subsection 12 of the Cake Division Act, radio shows are allowed to dedicate their birthday programs to one or more particular persons while making it clear throughout the show that it can also be understood to be about anyone's birthday in general. This represents compliance with the Hurt Feelings Compromise, which may soon be overturned by passage of the new Congress' proposed Stop Being Such A Big Baby legislation. As it stands, however, Self Help Radio has dedicated this show to one Magdalena Muchlinski, a respected academic with a big nose, whose birthday falls on the day after the show. It is believed that one or more of the hosts of Self Help Radio "has the hots" for Ms. Muchlinksi, & rumors that one or more of the hosts of Self Help Radio is married to her have circulated.
For those of you who do celebrate birthdays, the show is available online at self help radio dot net. It is advised you listen to it with friends, perhaps while wearing a colorful, pointy hat. Balloons will increase the enjoyment of the program, as will alcohol. The program is legally binding as a present from Self Help Radio &, as such, one cannot expect anything else for one's birthday this year from the makers of Self Help Radio. You're welcome.
Happy birthday you!
Self Help Radio, in accordance with federal laws & union policies, devotes one show a year to birthdays. This show can be celebrated by people who have had birthdays, people who will have birthdays, & both, & neither. Well, not neither. As allowed in subsection 12 of the Cake Division Act, radio shows are allowed to dedicate their birthday programs to one or more particular persons while making it clear throughout the show that it can also be understood to be about anyone's birthday in general. This represents compliance with the Hurt Feelings Compromise, which may soon be overturned by passage of the new Congress' proposed Stop Being Such A Big Baby legislation. As it stands, however, Self Help Radio has dedicated this show to one Magdalena Muchlinski, a respected academic with a big nose, whose birthday falls on the day after the show. It is believed that one or more of the hosts of Self Help Radio "has the hots" for Ms. Muchlinksi, & rumors that one or more of the hosts of Self Help Radio is married to her have circulated.
For those of you who do celebrate birthdays, the show is available online at self help radio dot net. It is advised you listen to it with friends, perhaps while wearing a colorful, pointy hat. Balloons will increase the enjoyment of the program, as will alcohol. The program is legally binding as a present from Self Help Radio &, as such, one cannot expect anything else for one's birthday this year from the makers of Self Help Radio. You're welcome.
Happy birthday you!
Monday, November 29, 2010
Nearly Time For Birthday Fun!
I just said to my wife, "I'm a pretty good husband, all things considered."
I mean, I do a radio show for her every year around the time of her birthday! & here's something else - I've never repeated a song! I've played different covers of songs - most notably, the Beatles' "Birthday" - but there are enough birthday songs out there to sustain a show a year - & people keep making them!
What else does she expect from me? I should ask. She doesn't know why I'm asking. Now she's denying she scoffed at me. She insists I'm a pretty good husband after all. But then she adds, "But you'd be a better husband if you cooked every night."
Signs of discontent!
But I couldn't cook tonight because I was working on my shows, which start too darn early in the morning tomorrow on 88.1 fm WRFL. You can wait to find the shows - both Self Help Radio & Sugar Substitute - on the Self Help Radio website later tomorrow.
Will she listen to them? I bet she doesn't. Even though she's a pretty good wife, all things considered.
I mean, I do a radio show for her every year around the time of her birthday! & here's something else - I've never repeated a song! I've played different covers of songs - most notably, the Beatles' "Birthday" - but there are enough birthday songs out there to sustain a show a year - & people keep making them!
What else does she expect from me? I should ask. She doesn't know why I'm asking. Now she's denying she scoffed at me. She insists I'm a pretty good husband after all. But then she adds, "But you'd be a better husband if you cooked every night."
Signs of discontent!
But I couldn't cook tonight because I was working on my shows, which start too darn early in the morning tomorrow on 88.1 fm WRFL. You can wait to find the shows - both Self Help Radio & Sugar Substitute - on the Self Help Radio website later tomorrow.
Will she listen to them? I bet she doesn't. Even though she's a pretty good wife, all things considered.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Whither Magda's Birthday Show 2010?
This is the conundrum. I love the woman I married more than pretty much anything in the world (with the possible exception of cheese fries) (which I don't eat anymore since I became vegan) but she doesn't really listen to my radio show. So why do I - why have I - for the past four or five years - dedicated an entire radio show to her around the time of her birthday? In addition, why do I crane my neck & strain my brain to make sure that show contains nothing but birthday songs?
I answered my own question, I know.
She knows, too. & she always knows. & so she gets another birthday show. As long as I can produce them, I'll make her birthday a plethora of birthday songs on a birthday show occasion. But why?
Because (as she might say, if she were paying attention): That's true romance!
I answered my own question, I know.
She knows, too. & she always knows. & so she gets another birthday show. As long as I can produce them, I'll make her birthday a plethora of birthday songs on a birthday show occasion. But why?
Because (as she might say, if she were paying attention): That's true romance!
Saturday, November 27, 2010
The Zeke You Say
Whew. As you can probably see from all the empty cans crushed on the porch, as well as the definitive lack of apple pie in the house, Zeke Moonshine was over to record his show & to try to lasso the beagles while having a blood alcohol level that makes his riding home on that pony a dangerous proposition. Still, he managed to play some nice country & blues songs & to keep the cussin' to a minimum. You wanna hear? The show is available right now at self help radio dot net.
I just wish he wouldn't build a fire in the front yard. It'll be glowing like that all night long.
I just wish he wouldn't build a fire in the front yard. It'll be glowing like that all night long.
Friday, November 26, 2010
Way Too Many Radio Shows So I'm All Worn Out
I know I didn't say anything, but I spent a lot of time these past three days on the radio, mainly subbing other people's shows on WRFL. To wit, I did the Crunkadelic Funk show on Wednesday, covered a free-form shift as well as the awesome "classic rock" show The Belfy on Thanksgiving Day, & then covered the Friday morning shift which included one hour of surf music on WRFL Surf!, which is the funnest show on the radio. So I am a little tired & dreaming of eating every pizza in the world tonight instead of writing on this blog.
Tomorrow there'll be a new Zeke Moonshine, but I am trying to be radio-free for at least twenty-four hours. This should coincide with me being whiskey-full.
Also, it snowed last night. How awesome is that? As I luxuriated in the deepening cold, my lovely wife the Magda adds, "I hate snow." She's lucky we get to winter in Australia this year!
I also want to say that Self Help Radio is not on Twitter. That is all.
Tomorrow there'll be a new Zeke Moonshine, but I am trying to be radio-free for at least twenty-four hours. This should coincide with me being whiskey-full.
Also, it snowed last night. How awesome is that? As I luxuriated in the deepening cold, my lovely wife the Magda adds, "I hate snow." She's lucky we get to winter in Australia this year!
I also want to say that Self Help Radio is not on Twitter. That is all.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
My Family, My Space
I didn't talk much about my family on this week's show, which was my annual "Dysfunctional Family Holiday" show. I probably should, next time. If there is a next time. If I still have a family then.
I should also mention that I had the most amazing teeth cleaning of my life today. The hygienist was awesome. Even though I was running on less than two hours of sleep & could barely string two words together. Or maybe because of that.
So the show is up at self help radio dot net for your listening plistening. There's also a new episode of Sugar Substitute. I don't have anything more to say about that.
I do want to mention that I deleted my myspace account. I personally like the fact that myspace lets me preview music from tons of bands, but I don't think the visitors to the Self Help Radio page went there for a "taste" of the show in the same way. Most were probably looking for playlists. Those are available elsewhere. Recently, the site's redesign - especially the fact that I was bombarded by ads for music & movies I don't like - made it difficult to visit, & it timed out a lot when I was trying to post playlists. It just didn't seem worth it, & I figured I'd kill it before it died of neglect, like some kind of tamagotchi.
My Facebook page is much more easy to keep track of & contains everything that the myspace page did. I also started a Tumblr blog a while ago just to showcase music videos & other nonsense - maybe that would appeal more to you?
Enjoy the show & the limited ways I attempt to reach out. & have a happy Thanksgiving!
I should also mention that I had the most amazing teeth cleaning of my life today. The hygienist was awesome. Even though I was running on less than two hours of sleep & could barely string two words together. Or maybe because of that.
So the show is up at self help radio dot net for your listening plistening. There's also a new episode of Sugar Substitute. I don't have anything more to say about that.
I do want to mention that I deleted my myspace account. I personally like the fact that myspace lets me preview music from tons of bands, but I don't think the visitors to the Self Help Radio page went there for a "taste" of the show in the same way. Most were probably looking for playlists. Those are available elsewhere. Recently, the site's redesign - especially the fact that I was bombarded by ads for music & movies I don't like - made it difficult to visit, & it timed out a lot when I was trying to post playlists. It just didn't seem worth it, & I figured I'd kill it before it died of neglect, like some kind of tamagotchi.
My Facebook page is much more easy to keep track of & contains everything that the myspace page did. I also started a Tumblr blog a while ago just to showcase music videos & other nonsense - maybe that would appeal more to you?
Enjoy the show & the limited ways I attempt to reach out. & have a happy Thanksgiving!
Monday, November 22, 2010
A New Dentist In A New Town
I'm obsessed with teeth, with my teeth specifically, with the idea of losing my teeth. For the longest time I didn't take very good care of my teeth. I grew up poor, which may not necessarily be an excuse - I recently talked to someone here in Kentucky who grew up poor but has perfect teeth because she had parents wise enough to take advantage of whatever health care was available for low-income families - & they made their kids brush & floss. But I don't want to blame my upbringing too much - as embarrassed as I was about having awful teeth, I was much more afraid of the dentist.
I finally got my teeth fixed during college, & mostly people don't remember my awful teeth. (Some people probably do, but they probably weren't ever really my friends, & if they remember me at all, they remember an ugly fat kid with bad teeth.) I have become pretty great about visiting the dentist regularly since then. I was sad to leave my long-term dentist in Austin - he was apparently quite rough with folks, but he was always nice to me (my first dentist in Austin was, however, a douchebag) & I trusted him. The dentist in Huntington was a little smug, but otherwise pleasant. But now! There's a new dentist over the horizon!
The bad thing is that it's tomorrow morning - & my show is on quite early, so I'll have to stay up later than usual, & will probably fall asleep during the cleaning. I bet there's a bit of anxiety in my voice (more than usual) while I discuss dysfunctional families on my show tomorrow morning. It's on really early on WRFL - both online & at 88.1 fm - but I'll put it online soon enough on self help radio dot net. Also, it'll be clean. For the next six months at least.
I finally got my teeth fixed during college, & mostly people don't remember my awful teeth. (Some people probably do, but they probably weren't ever really my friends, & if they remember me at all, they remember an ugly fat kid with bad teeth.) I have become pretty great about visiting the dentist regularly since then. I was sad to leave my long-term dentist in Austin - he was apparently quite rough with folks, but he was always nice to me (my first dentist in Austin was, however, a douchebag) & I trusted him. The dentist in Huntington was a little smug, but otherwise pleasant. But now! There's a new dentist over the horizon!
The bad thing is that it's tomorrow morning - & my show is on quite early, so I'll have to stay up later than usual, & will probably fall asleep during the cleaning. I bet there's a bit of anxiety in my voice (more than usual) while I discuss dysfunctional families on my show tomorrow morning. It's on really early on WRFL - both online & at 88.1 fm - but I'll put it online soon enough on self help radio dot net. Also, it'll be clean. For the next six months at least.