This week's Self Help Radio will be the last one for a couple of weeks - a fortnight - as I take a brief weeklong break to travel to Dallas to see my mom & family, & then to Austin to see a few friends & maybe see a couple of bands, as we'll be there for the first couple of days of South By South West.
The comedian Jeff Sawyer wrote: "Middle Age defined: at a deli yesterday, I found myself trying to see around two gorgeous women to get a look at the food they were blocking." When I think about Austin - while I do want to see certain friends - I do think a lot about the food there. There are some places I'd like to see, but it's really more about the places I want to eat.
Austin keeps growing & changing & when I was there last May (I was also there last September, but only for a short stay) I was amazed at how much was different in one year - two years will probably have obliterated all of my memories. One of the great things about Huntington was that nothing much changed, & the main sort of change you could see was things simply rotting away from neglect & age.
(Of course, things change in a more dramatic way in this part of the world, mainly because of actually having seasons. Though it's still cold in Lexington, the trees have started to bud & soon spring will explode. I look forward to that. Although they do say there's a chance of snow tonight. That's just the way it goes.)
I don't think anyone will miss Self Help Radio if it takes a week off, but it is unusual for me to miss so many shows - I missed two or three weeks in December thanks to the Australia trip, & now this. It just seems rude. Though I could use a good road trip & of course some authentic Tex-Mex. Mmmmm.
Saturday, March 05, 2011
Wednesday, March 02, 2011
All The Answers In Ninety Minutes
You are of course familiar with "the Ultimate Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, The Universe, & Everything," from The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy, yes? If not, that answer was 42. The trouble was, (& this is why that answers is so funny) they hadn't really asked the question. They just wanted the answer. (If you haven't read the great Douglas Adams, you can read a discussion about this over on the Wikipedia.)
That's a long-winded way of saying that that's sort of what Self Help Radio was like this week. A lot of answers, not so many questions. In fact, the questions were often assumed in the songs. So, if the song said (as four of the songs I played did) "Love is the answer," you're left to wonder if the question is "What is the meaning of life?" or "What is an intense feeling of affection & care towards another person?" The Four Tops weren't about to tell us!
You can find as many answers as I could find over at self help radio dot net. There's also a new episode of Sugar Substitute which, at the very end, guest stars the young lady whose show follows mine. She brought a ukulele to a bar fight - & won!
Please enjoy this week's show full of answers. Next week, we'll have a show about bags, & you can use them to carry the answers away.
That's a long-winded way of saying that that's sort of what Self Help Radio was like this week. A lot of answers, not so many questions. In fact, the questions were often assumed in the songs. So, if the song said (as four of the songs I played did) "Love is the answer," you're left to wonder if the question is "What is the meaning of life?" or "What is an intense feeling of affection & care towards another person?" The Four Tops weren't about to tell us!
You can find as many answers as I could find over at self help radio dot net. There's also a new episode of Sugar Substitute which, at the very end, guest stars the young lady whose show follows mine. She brought a ukulele to a bar fight - & won!
Please enjoy this week's show full of answers. Next week, we'll have a show about bags, & you can use them to carry the answers away.
Tuesday, March 01, 2011
Plenty Of Answers - Tonight!
Plenty of answers! Or at least one! What answer? The answer to this question: "How many songs about answers can you fit into a ninety-minute radio show?" People of the world have been guessing that answer for a while, sort of like trying to figure out the number of jelly beans in a jar - but after tonight they will have to guess no more! The answer is forthcoming. & it may well be definitive.
As for other answers, well, it depends on the questions, right?
That's tonight, at midnight, on the radio dial at 88.1 fm in Lexington & the surrounding villas, & available most everywhere on the internets at http colon slash slash www dot wrfl dot fm. I would be happiest if you listened!
As for other answers, well, it depends on the questions, right?
That's tonight, at midnight, on the radio dial at 88.1 fm in Lexington & the surrounding villas, & available most everywhere on the internets at http colon slash slash www dot wrfl dot fm. I would be happiest if you listened!
Monday, February 28, 2011
Whither Answers?
Q: Whom are you imitating now?
A: Why do you always assume I am imitating someone?
Q: Because you don't really have a style of your own.
A: Is that so.
Q: Yes, & usually you're paying some kind of "homage" or otherwise emulating, if not outright ripping off, some writer or comedian or something like that you've seen.
A: That's not fair!
Q: Didn't you once want to be a writer?
A: I did.
Q: & didn't you find it hard, after every book or short story you read, not to write exactly like the author?
A: ...
Q: Didn't you?
A: ...all right, sometimes.
Q: Didn't you once say that you could never be a musician because all of your songs would sound like your favorite band of the moment?
A: I never said that!
Q: Really?
A: I never did!
Q: I feel certain you're the one I heard say that.
A: It wasn't me!
Q: Sorry about that. It certainly seems like something you'd say.
A: Not at all. I am nowhere near being a musician, so I'd never idly speculate on what kind of music I'd make if I were a musician.
Q: Hmm.
A: Unless it was the catchall "crappy music."
Q: Now you're just being self-deprecating.
A: Does deprecating mean "honest"?
Q: I'm still not convinced this blog entry is entirely original.
A: Of course it's not original! Everything's been done before!
Q: Right, but this particular style, a dialog framed as a "question/answer" session, which really isn't one, but which is rather just a conversation between two people, therefore subverting the format of the "question/answer" kind. I really think someone else has done it before.
A: I'm just surprised you don't know who.
Q: Ah, so you admit it?
A: As long as you don't know who it is, I'm admitting nothing. It's like if I were on a desert island or in some isolated place that had never heard of, say, the Beatles, I would totally sing their songs & pretend they were mine if they got me some prestige.
Q: This is prestigious, mocking me?
A: It has its charms.
Q: You're a fool. I knew all along.
A: You did?
Q: Of course. Donald Barthelme.
A: Damn.
A: Why do you always assume I am imitating someone?
Q: Because you don't really have a style of your own.
A: Is that so.
Q: Yes, & usually you're paying some kind of "homage" or otherwise emulating, if not outright ripping off, some writer or comedian or something like that you've seen.
A: That's not fair!
Q: Didn't you once want to be a writer?
A: I did.
Q: & didn't you find it hard, after every book or short story you read, not to write exactly like the author?
A: ...
Q: Didn't you?
A: ...all right, sometimes.
Q: Didn't you once say that you could never be a musician because all of your songs would sound like your favorite band of the moment?
A: I never said that!
Q: Really?
A: I never did!
Q: I feel certain you're the one I heard say that.
A: It wasn't me!
Q: Sorry about that. It certainly seems like something you'd say.
A: Not at all. I am nowhere near being a musician, so I'd never idly speculate on what kind of music I'd make if I were a musician.
Q: Hmm.
A: Unless it was the catchall "crappy music."
Q: Now you're just being self-deprecating.
A: Does deprecating mean "honest"?
Q: I'm still not convinced this blog entry is entirely original.
A: Of course it's not original! Everything's been done before!
Q: Right, but this particular style, a dialog framed as a "question/answer" session, which really isn't one, but which is rather just a conversation between two people, therefore subverting the format of the "question/answer" kind. I really think someone else has done it before.
A: I'm just surprised you don't know who.
Q: Ah, so you admit it?
A: As long as you don't know who it is, I'm admitting nothing. It's like if I were on a desert island or in some isolated place that had never heard of, say, the Beatles, I would totally sing their songs & pretend they were mine if they got me some prestige.
Q: This is prestigious, mocking me?
A: It has its charms.
Q: You're a fool. I knew all along.
A: You did?
Q: Of course. Donald Barthelme.
A: Damn.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Preface To Answers: There Are No Answers Here
If there are no answers, are there only questions?
What if I wrote an entire blog entry about questions? Wouldn't that be ironic, while talking about a radio show purporting to be about answers? Who uses the word "purporting" anyway? Doesn't it sound a little pretentious?
Who wants to listen to a radio show with all the answers anyway? Aren't the questions what make life exciting? But aren't all these questions here the most simplistic form of questioning, which are yes/no questions? Do you even like yes/no questions? Aren't they the same as true/false questions? Don't you find them too simplistic & irksome?
Do you prefer multiple choice questions? Do you like it when a question is followed by the please, "if yes, why" & "if no, why not"? Or do you dread those kinds of questions? Why or why not?
Is this what people mean when they say "you're just arguing about semantics"? Or am I again just trying to be funny with something too obvious to be amusing? Wouldn't you naturally think of that, making a joke about "answers" by referring to "questions"? Have I taken it too far? Why do I always do this?
Do you know? Do you think I know? Do you think I'm going to surprise you by ending this series of questions with one declarative sentence? Would you find that hilarious?
Why or why not?
What if I wrote an entire blog entry about questions? Wouldn't that be ironic, while talking about a radio show purporting to be about answers? Who uses the word "purporting" anyway? Doesn't it sound a little pretentious?
Who wants to listen to a radio show with all the answers anyway? Aren't the questions what make life exciting? But aren't all these questions here the most simplistic form of questioning, which are yes/no questions? Do you even like yes/no questions? Aren't they the same as true/false questions? Don't you find them too simplistic & irksome?
Do you prefer multiple choice questions? Do you like it when a question is followed by the please, "if yes, why" & "if no, why not"? Or do you dread those kinds of questions? Why or why not?
Is this what people mean when they say "you're just arguing about semantics"? Or am I again just trying to be funny with something too obvious to be amusing? Wouldn't you naturally think of that, making a joke about "answers" by referring to "questions"? Have I taken it too far? Why do I always do this?
Do you know? Do you think I know? Do you think I'm going to surprise you by ending this series of questions with one declarative sentence? Would you find that hilarious?
Why or why not?
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Help The Bearsuit Invade The United States!
One of my favorite bands ever is a rag-tag group of fab-fab kids from Norwich, England, called Bearsuit. (This is their website. This is their myspace page. This is their Facebook page.) They're coming to South By South West in Austin in a couple of weeks, & they need a little financial help. It's one of the few investments these days that actually has valuable returns - they get to keep making their wonderful music & can spread the word all over the world!
If you have a shilling to spare, please visit this page at wefund dot co dot uk to help them financially. I have!
I've met them, & they're as nice as their music is amazing. Help Bearsuit establish a foothold in this land!
If you have a shilling to spare, please visit this page at wefund dot co dot uk to help them financially. I have!
I've met them, & they're as nice as their music is amazing. Help Bearsuit establish a foothold in this land!
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
With Bells On?
I resisted using the idiom "with bells on" - which means, in case you don't know, "eagerly, ready to participate" as in the cliché "I'll be there with bells on!" - all during my show (which did have lots of bells on it) & I am only using it now because I don't want to have to think of any more bell puns. Quite frankly I'm a little tired of bells. I keep making up new churches & what their bells say to the tune of the children's poem "Oranges & Lemons." That's how many bells are ringing in my head.
But! Last night's show was wonderful, & you should & can listen to it at self help radio dot net. It's there, along with last night's episode of Sugar Substitute. It is a small sample of the immense number of songs about bells out there, but not a very good sample of songs with bells in them, since that's not really what Self Help Radio does. Unless I want it to.
The show about bells rings out, calling everyone to it, like a giant bell in the middle of a Medieval village! Without, you know, all the cholera & stuff.
But! Last night's show was wonderful, & you should & can listen to it at self help radio dot net. It's there, along with last night's episode of Sugar Substitute. It is a small sample of the immense number of songs about bells out there, but not a very good sample of songs with bells in them, since that's not really what Self Help Radio does. Unless I want it to.
The show about bells rings out, calling everyone to it, like a giant bell in the middle of a Medieval village! Without, you know, all the cholera & stuff.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Bells Are Ringing!
To prepare you for tonight's Self Help Radio, which is about bells, please enjoy this odd YouTube video of famous bells in Europe:
Though that's pretty much the show I'm doing tonight, perhaps you'll still want to listen. It's at midnight Kentucky time, on the air in Lexington at 88.1 fm, online all over the world (except perhaps China & any Arab state in revolution) at WRFL dot FM.
Ask not for whom the Self Help Radio show about bells tolls. It's all for you!
Though that's pretty much the show I'm doing tonight, perhaps you'll still want to listen. It's at midnight Kentucky time, on the air in Lexington at 88.1 fm, online all over the world (except perhaps China & any Arab state in revolution) at WRFL dot FM.
Ask not for whom the Self Help Radio show about bells tolls. It's all for you!
Monday, February 21, 2011
Whither Bells?
Wow, there are a lot of songs about bells. Do you know which genre has the most songs about bells? You might guess something like electronica, or maybe jazz, but you'd be wrong. It's doo-wop. FUCKING doo-wop. Doo-wop, you know, defined as "a style of vocal-based rhythm & blues music, which developed in African-American communities in the 1940s & which achieved mainstream popularity in the 1950s & early 1960s." I swear to you, I listened to fifty or more doo-wop songs for this show. I might have more to listen to. I'm not done.
(Incidentally, while we call that music "doo-wop" now, the Wikipedia article I quote above points out that it wasn't used at the time, at least until 1961 or so.)
I thought, as I was listening to all that doo-wop, how interesting it might be to do a radio show - perhaps just one hour - that featured doo-wop, not only of the time, of course, but modern stuff too, if it exists, which I am sure it does. There are probably people who obsessively hoard it, & there are probably doo-wop shows on community &/or college radio stations right now. Why in fact there are!
The doo-wop songs I listened to were concerned with school bells, wedding bells, chapel bells, bells in their hearts, bells bells bells. I don't know if it's the subject matter - marriage, school, heartbreak - or the lovely sound of the word "bell" that made them want to sing so many songs about bells. Or maybe bells were more prominent in their world, in urban centers where doo-wop was born & flourished. The only bell I ever hear around here is from a church a few blocks to the south & frankly it's a bit anemic.
(Incidentally, while we call that music "doo-wop" now, the Wikipedia article I quote above points out that it wasn't used at the time, at least until 1961 or so.)
I thought, as I was listening to all that doo-wop, how interesting it might be to do a radio show - perhaps just one hour - that featured doo-wop, not only of the time, of course, but modern stuff too, if it exists, which I am sure it does. There are probably people who obsessively hoard it, & there are probably doo-wop shows on community &/or college radio stations right now. Why in fact there are!
The doo-wop songs I listened to were concerned with school bells, wedding bells, chapel bells, bells in their hearts, bells bells bells. I don't know if it's the subject matter - marriage, school, heartbreak - or the lovely sound of the word "bell" that made them want to sing so many songs about bells. Or maybe bells were more prominent in their world, in urban centers where doo-wop was born & flourished. The only bell I ever hear around here is from a church a few blocks to the south & frankly it's a bit anemic.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Preface To Bells: For Whom Do They Toll?
For me?
You know the John Donne poem, right?
No man is an island,
Entire of itself.
Each is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manner of thine own
Or of thine friend's were.
Each man's death diminishes me,
For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee.
That wasn't the inspiration for this show. It was the inspiration for at least two books - Hemingway's, of course, & I'm sure that someone has called a book "No Man Is An Island." In a way, Simon & Garfunkel's "I Am A Rock" is an answer song for this poem. But it wasn't the inspiration for this week's Self Help Radio.
Instead, I was listening to Phil Ochs a few months ago, & his "cover" of Poe's poem "The Bells." I looked up Poe's poem (you can read it yourself here) to see how well Ochs translated it into a song. I have always wanted to sing "The Raven." Ochs did an amazing job. & then I probably thought, maybe I should do a show about bells.
That's not a great story, so invent something about me being an in old church & a magical bell ringing out for the first time in ages. Perhaps insert a politician or sports hero you enjoy. Don't tell me who, though, because I probably wouldn't know who it was, or if I did, it might horrify me. You can think that's the story.
Also, why are you so afraid of poetry?
You know the John Donne poem, right?
No man is an island,
Entire of itself.
Each is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manner of thine own
Or of thine friend's were.
Each man's death diminishes me,
For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee.
That wasn't the inspiration for this show. It was the inspiration for at least two books - Hemingway's, of course, & I'm sure that someone has called a book "No Man Is An Island." In a way, Simon & Garfunkel's "I Am A Rock" is an answer song for this poem. But it wasn't the inspiration for this week's Self Help Radio.
Instead, I was listening to Phil Ochs a few months ago, & his "cover" of Poe's poem "The Bells." I looked up Poe's poem (you can read it yourself here) to see how well Ochs translated it into a song. I have always wanted to sing "The Raven." Ochs did an amazing job. & then I probably thought, maybe I should do a show about bells.
That's not a great story, so invent something about me being an in old church & a magical bell ringing out for the first time in ages. Perhaps insert a politician or sports hero you enjoy. Don't tell me who, though, because I probably wouldn't know who it was, or if I did, it might horrify me. You can think that's the story.
Also, why are you so afraid of poetry?
Saturday, February 19, 2011
The Slightly Odd Return Of Self Help Radio Extra!
I listen to a lot of music, but at times I don't get to do a lot of radio shows, mostly getting one a week during my entire time on the radio. Also, some of the people who appreciate my musical taste don't necessarily want to listen to me yammer on about zombies & robots in-between songs. One simple solution for this dilemma was to make a mix CD for those people, put it up on my website, & call it something like "Self Help Radio Extra." I did that, starting in October of 2007, & more or less continued doing it up until sometime last year. I can hazard a guess why I stopped - I was doing a radio show & a weekly podcast, & then when we moved to Lexington, I was subbing a lot of shows on WRFL. But I had a little time this week & I thought I'd make a mix. For you. Here it is. On the Self Help Radio Extra page.
You may think there's a theme to the mix, but there really isn't. There's a reason it sort of looks the way it does, when you see the playlist, but I'm not going to tell you what the reason is, or why the reason is, or whatever. You can puzzle over it or you can listen to it or you can do neither because you don't care.
Self Help Radio Extra has returned. & you didn't even know it had gone anywhere!
You may think there's a theme to the mix, but there really isn't. There's a reason it sort of looks the way it does, when you see the playlist, but I'm not going to tell you what the reason is, or why the reason is, or whatever. You can puzzle over it or you can listen to it or you can do neither because you don't care.
Self Help Radio Extra has returned. & you didn't even know it had gone anywhere!
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Can You Hear Me Now? Oooomph!
As loud as Self Help Radio was last night, it was nowhere near loud enough to get everyone's attention, & as such, I am going to have to find another way to get everyone to look at me & listen to what I have to say & fall in love with me & think everything I say & do is valuable & adorable. Rats.
You control the loudness, though, so if you didn't catch the show, or caught it but had the volume down too low & need to listen to it again, or simply want to play it as loud as possible to scare all the cats in the neighborhood (or convince them to dance with you), you can listen to it now over at self help radio dot net. It's there now waiting for you to raise its decibels if that's your idea of fun.
Hey! Can you hear me? I'm writing in a whisper! Is it sexy? Or creepy? Or are you waiting for me to tell you a secret? I have no secrets. I'm just whispering to make everyone think I do. It seems counterintuitive but I think you can use an exclamation point in a whisper! It's just a louder whisper! Oh crap, why is it every time I whisper a librarian shows up to shush me?
You control the loudness, though, so if you didn't catch the show, or caught it but had the volume down too low & need to listen to it again, or simply want to play it as loud as possible to scare all the cats in the neighborhood (or convince them to dance with you), you can listen to it now over at self help radio dot net. It's there now waiting for you to raise its decibels if that's your idea of fun.
Hey! Can you hear me? I'm writing in a whisper! Is it sexy? Or creepy? Or are you waiting for me to tell you a secret? I have no secrets. I'm just whispering to make everyone think I do. It seems counterintuitive but I think you can use an exclamation point in a whisper! It's just a louder whisper! Oh crap, why is it every time I whisper a librarian shows up to shush me?
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
The Loudest Radio Show Ever
I forgot to mention, with it being Valentine's Day & all, that you can still download the songs from the Self Help Radio Valentine's Day 2011 show, which was about love songs, at this link here. I'll leave the zip file there for a couple more days. Please to enjoy this (late, if you missed it) Valentine's Day gift from Self Help Radio to you.
Tonight, though, on 88.1 fm WRFL Lexington, Self Help Radio will be - well, not loud - I mean, as I've said before, you control the volume knob - so it's always as loud as you want it to be - but in its own head it will be the loudest radio show ever. Not because of its volume, or even because it's wearing gaudy clothing (though it will be), but because it's about loudness, & will explore loud in a way that presupposes volume. Or maybe supersedes volume. Or perhaps expands upon volume. Or maybe it would be better if I said it overtakes volume. All of these. Even, perchance, none of these. You know how it is.
That's tonight, midnight, on 88.1 in Lexington & all over the world at wrfl dot fm. It may be so loud, though, that you don't even have to have the radio on to listen.
Tonight, though, on 88.1 fm WRFL Lexington, Self Help Radio will be - well, not loud - I mean, as I've said before, you control the volume knob - so it's always as loud as you want it to be - but in its own head it will be the loudest radio show ever. Not because of its volume, or even because it's wearing gaudy clothing (though it will be), but because it's about loudness, & will explore loud in a way that presupposes volume. Or maybe supersedes volume. Or perhaps expands upon volume. Or maybe it would be better if I said it overtakes volume. All of these. Even, perchance, none of these. You know how it is.
That's tonight, midnight, on 88.1 in Lexington & all over the world at wrfl dot fm. It may be so loud, though, that you don't even have to have the radio on to listen.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Whither Loudness?
A decibel is a complicated thing (just read the wikipedia definition) but for our purposes here it is a measure of loudness. It measures power & intensity - in this case, the power & intensity of sound. When we speak to each other, for example, unless we have no indoor voice, we speak at around 60 decibels, or 60 dB. (Technically, it's dB(A), but I am a layperson & I will assume I'm not addressing an audio engineer or other smarty-pants in the world of sound measurement.) How does that compare with other sounds we hear?
The noise of a rocket taking off is 180 dB. A public library when the librarian is doing his or her job, 40 dB.
An air raid siren is about 130 dB. Leaves rustling, 30 dB.
Your typical night club is pretty loud at 110 dB. Your typical office, around 50 dB.
Oh, an important one for radio listeners: "amplified rock music" can be from 110 to 130 dB. A noisy restaurant is 70 dB.
A screaming child is as loud as a lawn mower is an loud as a "passing motorcycle": 90 dB.
You're lucky, though. You can control the volume knob on your radio. Self Help Radio need only be as loud as you want it to be. Some people, it must be said, turn it all the way down.
The noise of a rocket taking off is 180 dB. A public library when the librarian is doing his or her job, 40 dB.
An air raid siren is about 130 dB. Leaves rustling, 30 dB.
Your typical night club is pretty loud at 110 dB. Your typical office, around 50 dB.
Oh, an important one for radio listeners: "amplified rock music" can be from 110 to 130 dB. A noisy restaurant is 70 dB.
A screaming child is as loud as a lawn mower is an loud as a "passing motorcycle": 90 dB.
You're lucky, though. You can control the volume knob on your radio. Self Help Radio need only be as loud as you want it to be. Some people, it must be said, turn it all the way down.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Preface To Loudness: Ear Damage
While everyone assumes that Self Help Radio is supposed to be listened to loud, it may surprise you that Self Help Radio actually cares about your hearing, & hopes that you do not choose volume over ear health.
What happens to your beautiful ears when you listen to loud music? A borderline literate researcher at the "wikianswers" page says this:
"The waves & vibrations of the music pound into your delicate eardrum, located close behind the hammer & anvil. Sound, which is collected by your outside, visible ear (the pinna) travels through the outer ear canal. Your eardrum then vibrates as well as the three mini bones around it: the anvil, hammer, & stirrup. All named those names because of their shapes. This vibration goes to the cochlea (a snail like spiral), which has many little hairs that have nerve signals sent to the brain. If you listen to loud music, the hairs fall off. & you go deaf."
Yes, friends, loud music will make your inner ear bald. & if you're as old as some of the men behind Self Help Radio, you know that the hair that eventually grows just inside & on your ear as old age embarrasses us more & more is no replacement for the nervy hairs on the naughtily-named cochlea.
Furthermore, if you can no longer hear, how could listen to Self Help Radio? While there is no evidence of an increase in quality from show to show, from year to year, with Self Help Radio, one can always hope, & should you no longer be able to listen, what might you miss when Self Help Radio finally covers your favorite theme in 2018? Could you live with yourself then?
Take care of your ears! Listen to all things at a moderate, pleasing volume. Use protection when you go out to see "rock & roll" bands. Good listeners have good ears. Self Help Radio needs all the listeners it can get!
What happens to your beautiful ears when you listen to loud music? A borderline literate researcher at the "wikianswers" page says this:
"The waves & vibrations of the music pound into your delicate eardrum, located close behind the hammer & anvil. Sound, which is collected by your outside, visible ear (the pinna) travels through the outer ear canal. Your eardrum then vibrates as well as the three mini bones around it: the anvil, hammer, & stirrup. All named those names because of their shapes. This vibration goes to the cochlea (a snail like spiral), which has many little hairs that have nerve signals sent to the brain. If you listen to loud music, the hairs fall off. & you go deaf."
Yes, friends, loud music will make your inner ear bald. & if you're as old as some of the men behind Self Help Radio, you know that the hair that eventually grows just inside & on your ear as old age embarrasses us more & more is no replacement for the nervy hairs on the naughtily-named cochlea.
Furthermore, if you can no longer hear, how could listen to Self Help Radio? While there is no evidence of an increase in quality from show to show, from year to year, with Self Help Radio, one can always hope, & should you no longer be able to listen, what might you miss when Self Help Radio finally covers your favorite theme in 2018? Could you live with yourself then?
Take care of your ears! Listen to all things at a moderate, pleasing volume. Use protection when you go out to see "rock & roll" bands. Good listeners have good ears. Self Help Radio needs all the listeners it can get!
Saturday, February 12, 2011
United States Of College Radio
This is a nice web page: the Best College Radio Stations. It lists the criteria at the bottom:
"Must be non-commercial;
Must be affiliated with a college/university & be (mostly) student run;
Must have a full schedule of freeform programming;
Must broadcast a live, high-quality .mp3 or .ogg stream."
You'll see my station WRFL hovering over Kentucky, kinda alone in the midst of things. You'll not see WMUL, as they don't stream, except for sports programming. You can find my alma mater KVRX down ol' Texas way.
They also have a nice Google Calendar of notable shows. How lovely it would be if Self Help Radio made it on there!
I think the map is really cool, & it's fun to taste the occasional college radio station from time-to-time. It makes you believe that there's a lot of great radio happening, utterly in spite of awful commercial radio. Good for everyone involved! & much thanks to this site's creator!
"Must be non-commercial;
Must be affiliated with a college/university & be (mostly) student run;
Must have a full schedule of freeform programming;
Must broadcast a live, high-quality .mp3 or .ogg stream."
You'll see my station WRFL hovering over Kentucky, kinda alone in the midst of things. You'll not see WMUL, as they don't stream, except for sports programming. You can find my alma mater KVRX down ol' Texas way.
They also have a nice Google Calendar of notable shows. How lovely it would be if Self Help Radio made it on there!
I think the map is really cool, & it's fun to taste the occasional college radio station from time-to-time. It makes you believe that there's a lot of great radio happening, utterly in spite of awful commercial radio. Good for everyone involved! & much thanks to this site's creator!
Wednesday, February 09, 2011
For You, On This Valentine's Day
Oh you, you, you, my dearest vinyl covering, my darling caramel coating, my favorite cheese! Self Help Radio's Valentine's offering - a radio shows about love songs - is yours for you as I know you would want it - on the internet for all to see - of course at self help radio dot net. But wait! I know you long for nothing more than the mopey lope of my voice going on & on about some trivial inanity - but I adore you so, my chocolate snail, that I have collected for you in a handy zip file usually openable on most computers in the 21st century of all the songs I played on that magical show - plus some I didn't have time to play - because if you love something, you should set it free, & I am setting myself free from the music I play, mainly so I can get some sleep. Self Help Radio's Valentine's gift to you is right here for you, my semiprecious waffle cone, to enjoy when & if you wish. It's only available until Valentine's Day - oh, & while I'm at it, did I mention that last year's Valentine's Day show, about girlfriends, is also available to listen to? I mean, if you can't get enough of me, which I know is highly improbable.
Please enjoy my collection of songs about love songs & also love songs which call themselves love songs, which encapsulates both the meta-ironic side of our relationship as well as our mutual love for painfully obvious things that calls attention to themselves. My flying buttress! My detached megalomaniac! My product of an inspired lapidary!
Please enjoy my collection of songs about love songs & also love songs which call themselves love songs, which encapsulates both the meta-ironic side of our relationship as well as our mutual love for painfully obvious things that calls attention to themselves. My flying buttress! My detached megalomaniac! My product of an inspired lapidary!
Tuesday, February 08, 2011
Valentine's Deliverance
I don't really think much of Valentine's Day - but others do, & so I've devoted several Self Help Radios to it. I am all in favor of love, of course, although I am also grateful I don't have to love so many people. Just the requisite familial love (most of it in neutral, saved for awkward occasions), then the more important friendly love, for my dearest friends, & then at last the love for the wife & our family, most of whom smell doggy, while those that don't, smell a little catty. (I won't tell you which category the wife falls into.) None of them expect a valentine from me. Or if they do, they expect it every day.
But tonight! It's Self Help Radio's annual Valentine's Day show, this one subtitled "love song." I'm sure it's something you'll want to share with your special someone in your life who smells either doggy or catty. Or both. It's on at midnight tonight on 88.1 fm WRFL in Lexington & it's streaming from the WRFL website all over the world except maybe Egypt. You should listen.
If you can't listen, I'll archive it in time for Valentine's Day over at the Self Help Radio website. Just follow the trail of chocolate hearts. Or rose petals. I haven't decided yet. I mean, the dogs'll probably eat the hearts, but then again they'll probably eat the rose petals, too. They're romantic like that. Also, beagles.
I hope you listen! I'm dedicating a love song to you!
But tonight! It's Self Help Radio's annual Valentine's Day show, this one subtitled "love song." I'm sure it's something you'll want to share with your special someone in your life who smells either doggy or catty. Or both. It's on at midnight tonight on 88.1 fm WRFL in Lexington & it's streaming from the WRFL website all over the world except maybe Egypt. You should listen.
If you can't listen, I'll archive it in time for Valentine's Day over at the Self Help Radio website. Just follow the trail of chocolate hearts. Or rose petals. I haven't decided yet. I mean, the dogs'll probably eat the hearts, but then again they'll probably eat the rose petals, too. They're romantic like that. Also, beagles.
I hope you listen! I'm dedicating a love song to you!
Monday, February 07, 2011
Whither Love Songs?
Well, I spoke too soon. It's snowing like a mothersnower out there. Gigantic flakes. It's like I'm living in a snow globe.
It's 2011, & I'm doing my annual Valentine's Day show, which I started doing during the first Valentine's Day I had Self Help Radio, which was in 2003. Eight years ago! I've had the same Valentine since then. At the time, if you had said that to me, I would've scoffed. I would've scoffed in your face!
That first show was generic. I decided that, if I were to continue doing annual shows, I should make them somewhat more specific. For example, I have specificized (that's not a word) my Halloween shows. They're not just about "Halloween," although I could do a Halloween show about Halloween, just like I could - & may yet do - a Valentine's Day show just about Valentine's Day. Not yet!
Anyway, here's a rundown of my rundown themes for my rundown Valentine's Day shows:
February 12, 2003: Valentine's Show
February 11, 2004: The LOVE Show
February 09, 2005: The HATE Show
February 00, 2006: No Valentine's Day show - no station (it had burnt down the month before)
February 09, 2007: Valentine's Day 2007 - Crushes
February 08, 2008: Valentine's Day 2008 - Jealousy
February 14, 2009: Valentine's Day 2009 - Boyfriends
February 08, 2010: Valentine's Day 2010 - Girlfriends
I did sort of do a Valentine's song show for my first Valentine's day - but it wasn't comprehensive & I call backsies.
This year's show is a Valentine's Day show about love songs. That's pretty vague, yes? Not really. There are two rules:
1) It has to be a song about love songs.
2) It has to be a love song that calls itself a love song.
For example, the song "Silly Love Songs" by Linda McCartney & Wings is the perfect example of both. It tells you it's about love songs, but also the male Linda in the band sings "Here I go, again! I love you..." to a derivative disco beat that embarrassed even Barry White at the time. I would never play that song on Self Help Radio despite the fact that Linda had once been in the Rolling Stones, her claim to fame, before she tried to kill George Harrison with a melody. Where was I?
One song I may play, in some form or another, is "Lovesong" by the Cure, which is a love song that calls itself a love song, but economizes by making it one word instead of two. I will not play "Lvsng" by the Cur, which is a love song that calls itself a love song, sort of, but economizes by making it one syllable instead of two. Also, the song is twelve seconds long. & it sounds a little too much like frogs fucking. I'm just saying.
Another song I won't play is the corny "Just An Old Fashioned Love Song" by Three Dog Night. Why not, you may ask? It's because I have three dogs & they like to sing that song every night. That, & the Jeremiah was a bullfrog song, every night, like an insane postmodern dog melody that makes every stray & feral cat in the neighborhood howl like there's blood in their stool & all they have is Bill Frist's idea of feline health care. I just couldn't in good conscience play a song like when I know so many kittens are listening.
I still haven't decided what all I'll play so you have time to write me with suggestions. & if you want a Valentine's Day present from me, you should totally 'like' the show on Facebook to keep up with what present I'll give you the day after the show, which will be before Valentine's Day, so you won't be as disappointed as last year, when all the presents I sent were eaten by the staff at every West Virginia post office which is why they're so obese & no one likes them.
We're safer in Kentucky. Unless it smells like bourbon. So I won't be sending that sort of thing.
It's 2011, & I'm doing my annual Valentine's Day show, which I started doing during the first Valentine's Day I had Self Help Radio, which was in 2003. Eight years ago! I've had the same Valentine since then. At the time, if you had said that to me, I would've scoffed. I would've scoffed in your face!
That first show was generic. I decided that, if I were to continue doing annual shows, I should make them somewhat more specific. For example, I have specificized (that's not a word) my Halloween shows. They're not just about "Halloween," although I could do a Halloween show about Halloween, just like I could - & may yet do - a Valentine's Day show just about Valentine's Day. Not yet!
Anyway, here's a rundown of my rundown themes for my rundown Valentine's Day shows:
February 12, 2003: Valentine's Show
February 11, 2004: The LOVE Show
February 09, 2005: The HATE Show
February 00, 2006: No Valentine's Day show - no station (it had burnt down the month before)
February 09, 2007: Valentine's Day 2007 - Crushes
February 08, 2008: Valentine's Day 2008 - Jealousy
February 14, 2009: Valentine's Day 2009 - Boyfriends
February 08, 2010: Valentine's Day 2010 - Girlfriends
I did sort of do a Valentine's song show for my first Valentine's day - but it wasn't comprehensive & I call backsies.
This year's show is a Valentine's Day show about love songs. That's pretty vague, yes? Not really. There are two rules:
1) It has to be a song about love songs.
2) It has to be a love song that calls itself a love song.
For example, the song "Silly Love Songs" by Linda McCartney & Wings is the perfect example of both. It tells you it's about love songs, but also the male Linda in the band sings "Here I go, again! I love you..." to a derivative disco beat that embarrassed even Barry White at the time. I would never play that song on Self Help Radio despite the fact that Linda had once been in the Rolling Stones, her claim to fame, before she tried to kill George Harrison with a melody. Where was I?
One song I may play, in some form or another, is "Lovesong" by the Cure, which is a love song that calls itself a love song, but economizes by making it one word instead of two. I will not play "Lvsng" by the Cur, which is a love song that calls itself a love song, sort of, but economizes by making it one syllable instead of two. Also, the song is twelve seconds long. & it sounds a little too much like frogs fucking. I'm just saying.
Another song I won't play is the corny "Just An Old Fashioned Love Song" by Three Dog Night. Why not, you may ask? It's because I have three dogs & they like to sing that song every night. That, & the Jeremiah was a bullfrog song, every night, like an insane postmodern dog melody that makes every stray & feral cat in the neighborhood howl like there's blood in their stool & all they have is Bill Frist's idea of feline health care. I just couldn't in good conscience play a song like when I know so many kittens are listening.
I still haven't decided what all I'll play so you have time to write me with suggestions. & if you want a Valentine's Day present from me, you should totally 'like' the show on Facebook to keep up with what present I'll give you the day after the show, which will be before Valentine's Day, so you won't be as disappointed as last year, when all the presents I sent were eaten by the staff at every West Virginia post office which is why they're so obese & no one likes them.
We're safer in Kentucky. Unless it smells like bourbon. So I won't be sending that sort of thing.
Sunday, February 06, 2011
Preface To Love Songs: A Love Song To Ronald Reagan
Well, not a love song exactly. More like an antidote to the hagiography that has probably infected every little bit of media not swallowed up by the Super Bowl (although there might be a Ronald Reagan parade during the Super Bowl! it's happening in Dallas, after all). (I haven't watched any television today, so I wouldn't know.)
When Reagan died, & the same sort of nonsense happened, my friend Ken attempted a curative on one of his best Ken's Last Ever Radio Extravaganza shows. He called it "The Great Communicator" & it's an awesome reminder of how awful a president he was. Please note: there have been reports of the show inducing nausea in listeners. Don't listen while operating heavy machinery. Or even while driving.
Now I'm off to watch the Puppy Bowl! I am praying there are no Reagan references on it.
When Reagan died, & the same sort of nonsense happened, my friend Ken attempted a curative on one of his best Ken's Last Ever Radio Extravaganza shows. He called it "The Great Communicator" & it's an awesome reminder of how awful a president he was. Please note: there have been reports of the show inducing nausea in listeners. Don't listen while operating heavy machinery. Or even while driving.
Now I'm off to watch the Puppy Bowl! I am praying there are no Reagan references on it.