Preface To Seeing Double: Adventures With Foreigner

Foreigner is one of those "classic rock" bands that you cannot escape on modern commercial radio.  & you couldn't escape them back then, either.  When I was a sprog in the late 70s, they were hugely popular.  My brain, thanks to constant exposure to those radio stations, still knows the words to songs like "Feels Like The First Time," "Cold As Ice," "Hot Blooded," &, of course, "Double Vision."

Will anyone request "Double Vision," seeing as how this week's theme is "seeing double"?

The guitarist for Foreigner is named Mick Jones, & he's British, but he's not the same person as my idol Mick Jones of the Clash - but wouldn't it be hilarious if he was & I never knew?  (Mick Jones is apparently the only original member of the band, which still exists.)

That's how little I knew about the band Foreigner - you could have mentioned the names of any of their members over the years & I would have drawn a blank.  But reciting the lyrics to "Hot Blooded"?  Hey, check it & see, I got a fever of a hundred & three, come on baby you can do more than dance!  I just wrote all those out without consulting a lyrics site because my brain has them stored up.  Memories of my childhood shoved away so I could remember mediocre "classic rock" songs.

That being said, I can't say I "hate" Foreigner.  They're probably still making lots of cash from constant airplay & I'm sure there are people my age & older who go to see them in moderately large venues - tonight they're playing a casino in Indiana & earlier they played amphitheaters in Michigan.  But I have never never nerver met anyone who will say anything like "Foreigner were the consummate rock band of the 70's" or "Foreigner changed the rock & roll landscape."  There's not a Foreigner album anyone's ever said I have to listen to.  No one cites Foreigner as an influence - well, no one good, anyway, & certainly not anyone I would be listening to, or that would be making any sort of mark .  There are some seriously overrated bands that people utterly worship who are as successful as Foreigner that otherwise right-thinking people consider to be great.

Having said that, a friend of mine who pretty much only listens to classic rock radio once got mad at me for quoting the lyrics to "Cold As Ice" to her.  She said, "Don't sing Foreigner to me!  They ruined rock & roll!"  I don't think she understood that many of the bands she loved had already destroyed rock & roll at that point - & that Foreigner was something arbitrary she picked out to focus her self-loathing.  The rest of us, of course, allowed ourselves to be rescued by punk rock.

Please don't request "Double Vision" on my show.  I could sing it to you over the phone but I won't play it, especially since the classic rock station further up the dial is probably playing it anyway - hurry!  Or you'll miss the guitar solo!

PS I just discovered that Brave Combo do a cover of "Double Vision" on their record "The Process."  I don't own it so I can't play it.  But I can't imagine it's any good.

In Season

Suddenly it's hot in Kentucky.  & humid.  It reminds me of home.  & being sweaty all the time.  I apologize, Austin.  I realize now I was sweaty all the time.

I live with a woman who watches too many documentaries who doesn't want to turn on the air conditioner despite the fact that it is 80 degrees in the house because (she says) it will kill the planet.  The documentaries tell her that.  & I am the creature with the second-least amount of fur.  Also, my computer emits tremendous amounts of heat.

I know it's nothing like Austin.  Or is it?  Outside it's 79 degrees in Lexington.  It's 81 degrees in Austin.  Thanks Weather Underground!  It's mostly the same temperature where I am & where Austin are.

Except Austin has (I believe this is the scientific term) a shit-ton more vegetarian restaurants.  Most of these seemed to open after I left.  How many?  Have a look at this web site.  If you are a vegetarian or vegan in Lexington, this should make you sad.

I have to go now.  I am going to see how hot it is in our house.  81 degrees!  It's the same temperature in our house as in Austin.  At nine o'clock at night!

Hours Later

I can't remember when I came up with a theme called "hours."  I think I've already done a show about clocks, & then later, a show called "what o'clock is it?" which mentioned specific times (ie, five o'clock).  I don't remember an epiphany, a moment when the ghost of Dead Pop Star came to me & said, "This would be a great idea for a show."  It wasn't such a great theme, after all.  Do you think my cats are fucking with me?

In any event, here's the show in all its glory.  To be fair, I read some neat information from The Discoverers by Daniel J Boorstin, which is a cool book.  The songs I played are below & the show is where it art to be at Self Help Radio dot Net.  In two parts: part one & part two.

Yes, it's a show about hours in ninety minutes.  Time is more malleable that you ever dreamed.

(part one)

"An Hour Is Sixty Minutes Too Long" Imitation Electric Piano _Trinity Neon_
"A Few Hours After This" The Cure _Join The Dots_

"Blinder By The Hour" The Triffids _Calenture_
"Hours N Hours" Boat People _Chandeliers_
"First Few Desperate Hours" The Mountain Goats _Tallahassee_
"Favourite Hour (Church Studios Version)" Elvis Costello _Brutal Youth_
"After Hours" The Velvet Underground _The Velvet Underground_

"Sweet Tasting Hours" The Go-Betweens _Spring Hill Fair_
"Dead Hour" The Guild League _Speak Up_

(part two)

"Happy Hour" The Housemartins _London 0, Hull 4_
"My Finest Hour" The Sundays _Reading, Writing & Arithmetic_
"My Finest Hour" The Lodger _Life Is Sweet_

"In The Midnight Hour" Wilson Pickett _This Is The Modern World_
"After Hours" A Tribe Called Quest _People's Instinctive Travels & The Paths Of Rhythm_
"Hourglass" Squeeze _Babylon & On_
"Hourglass" Twig _Hourglass 7"_
"Golden Hours" Brian Eno _Another Green World_

"First Hour Of The Day" The Band Of Holy Joy _The Big Ship Sails_
"None But Shining Hours" The Books _Lost & Safe_
"Sleepless Hours" Originals _Las Vegas Grind Vol. 3_
"Amateur Hour" Sparks _Kimono My House_

Whither Hours?

Can I confess something to you?  I thought this would be a more interesting theme than it's turned out to be.  Because there are a LOT OF SONGS having to do with "hours."  Apologies in advance for what might turn out to be a dull show.

Come to think of it, I should always preface my shows that way.

It will be a show about hours that only lasts ninety minutes & it will air tomorrow morning (Monday the 21st) on 88.1 fm WRFL in Lexington.  You can listen live online at wrfl dot fm.  You can live recorded later at self help radio dot net.  You can try to travel into space faster than light, catch up to the stray radio waves, & listen to it as you return to Earth.  It's up to you!

Preface To Hours: Finally The Bow & Arrow Show

Gosh, I'm sorry this is so late.  I took a small vacation after my show on Monday & then had too much to do when I got back.  You didn't notice of course, but I still feel bad about it.  If I had a bow & an arrow, I'd let you shoot a radio off my head.  Or try to, at least.

Suffice it to say, I've learned my lesson: I should go on vacations more often!

The show was split in two by all the arrows shot at it.  You can find the two parts at the Self Help Radio website or you can download them directly.  Part one is right here & part one is right here.  I am tempted to make arrows to point the way like this ->>-----|>

& so I did!  The songs played on both halves are listed below.

(part one)

"Arrows & Baloons" Robert Pollard _Moses On A Snail_
"Cupid's Bow" Rodney Allen _Take The Subway To Your Suburb_
"Quiver (Arrows In My)" Bow Wow Wow _When The Going Gets Tough The Tough Get Going_

"William Tell Overture" Sounds Incorporated _Hazy Memories Vol. 2_
"Arrow In A Bow" The Go-Betweens _Send Me A Lullaby_
"Arrow Of Love" Six Teens _A Casual Look: The Flip Recordings_
"Fallen Arrow" Ida _Ten Small Paces_
"Arrow" Jeffrey Lewis with Jack Lewis & Anders Griffin _It's The Ones Who've Cracked That The Light Shines Through_
"The Flint Arrowhead" Johnny Cash _From Sea To Shining Sea_

"Broken Arrow" Neil Young _Neil Young Archives, Vol. 1: 1963-1972_
"Broken Arrows" Jose Gonzalez _Veneer_
"Broken Arrow" Chuck Berry _Johnny B. Goode/His Complete '50s Chess Recordings_

(part two)

"Days Of The Broken Arrows" The Idle Race _Nuggets II: Original Artyfacts From The British Empire & Beyond, Vol. 3_
"Slings & Arrows" The Wooly Ones _Scarey Business_

"Robin Hood" John Strachan _Songs From Aberdeenshire_
"Robin Hood" Dick James _Hello Children Everywhere_
"Little Arrows" Leapy Lee _Little Arrows_
"Me & My Arrow" Harry Nilsson _The Point!_
"Blue Arrows" Mick Harvey _Two Of Diamonds_
"Love Is An Arrow" Aberfeldy _Young Forever_
"Arrows" Mitch Hedberg _Mitch All Together_
"Zen Archer" Todd Rundgren _A Wizard, A True Star_

"Poison Arrow" ABC _Lexicon Of Love_
"Poison Arrow" Sonic Youth _The Eternal_
"Love Is Swift Arrows" Be Bop Deluxe _Axe Victim_

Still No "Bows & Arrows" Show Online

It's true, I didn't get around to it today.  Well, actually, I did get around to doing some of it, but I won't be able to get the show up by the end of the day.  Not that ANYONE REALLY GIVES A SHIT.  I have long gotten used to the fact that I mainly write this blog for me, not for any imaginary "listener" - & since I don't much care for what I write, I can only speculate on how the average person, stumbling onto this, might roll their eyes & try to find something else online, perhaps about a nipple slip.  Or a super-hero movie.

I will put the show up tomorrow.  I have just been hella busy.  Also hella lazy.  But in a busy way.  I had to watch white people play jazz in Lexington tonight.  Not all white people.  Mainly white people.  It was thunderously dull.  I am not someone who gets bored often.  But halfway through I thought seriously of maybe taking a nap.  Falling asleep on the older gentleman to my right.

The audience was mainly old people, & they enjoyed it.  The stumpy & obese "conductor" (he also played an instrument) (but looked like a cross between Penn Jillette & James Lipton), he got redder as he went on, & I worried he might stroke out at any minute.  Thank god for intermission!  Also, smokers.  We were able to sneak away, the wife & I, through the smokers, pretending we were doing the same.

Anyway.  Show.  Tomorrow.  I swear.  Like you care.

It's On The Way!

You haven't noticed, but I've been gone since Monday so I haven't posted this week's show (which was about bows & arrows).  But I will!  Soon!  Maybe not tonight, but definitely tomorrow.  Or tomorrow night.  Surely no later than Saturday.  Although Sunday is not out of the question.  Time management is not my strong suit.  I set aside time on Mondays, but if I can't put the shows up on Mondays, that task stumbles into another task's time.  Sometimes that task is "lying around eating cold sesame noodles."  Which task do you think wins that contest?

Stay tuned!

Whither Bows & Arrows?

No, it's not because of the Avengers movie, though Hawkeye is surprisingly bad-ass.  Or maybe I should just say Jeremy Renner is bad ass.  Because Hawkeye has always seemed like a low-rent Green Arrow.  & Green Arrow, done right, is really fucking bad ass.  I wonder how Jeremy Renner would look with a little yellow goatee?

This is neither here nor there, but I had a dream in which a friend did something despicable to me & I woke up wanting to unfriend him on the Facebook.

I have spent days finding songs about bows & arrows.  I hope you will spend ninety minutes tomorrow (Monday morning) listening to what I've found.  The show will air from 7:30 to 9:00 am on 88.1 fm WRFL in Lexington.  You can listen in real time online at wrfl dot fm.

Normally I archive my shows the very same day I air them, but I will be taking a short trip up north so the show probably won't be on the Self Help Radio website until later in the week.  I apologize!

But listen tomorrow.  There's a song about an arrow that I shall send straight to your heart.

Preface To Bows & Arrows: Archery & Outdoor Education

If you were a geek or a nerd or woefully out of shape (the conditions were not incompatible) & did not play any team sports (which actually counted as a "class" in my high school - & may still), you were still required to take "physical education."

This was an unhappy experience for me all through my schooling, because I was not only a geek or a nerd but also woefully out of shape (not much has changed, except I am no longer in high school).  Taking "P.E." was a requirement.  In middle school, it was just a class you went to.  But in high school it was something different.

You see, back then, you had to take classes that weren't general but particular.  I believe it was once a year but it may have been once a semester.  There wasn't a generic class where you did whatever activity the "coach" planned for you that day - you chose something you were supposed to spend the semester focusing on.

& there were three - & only three - of those kinds of classes for the geeky & nerdy & woefully out of shape.  One was called "Tennis/Bowling."  The second was "Golf/Bowling."  The third was "Archery/Outdoor Education."

I took the first two.  Due to a particularly weird choice my counselor made for me in ninth grade, I spent a semester as a "trainer" for the football team, which meant I passed my last period of the day in a field house handing towels to sweaty football players.  That would've been a sweet gig, but I was required to go to their games & practices, too, & not only was that completely unappealing, but I didn't have a reliable means of transportation at that age, so I would have to spend a long time walking home from school - we lived kinda far away - & getting home at eight or nine at night.

Anyway, here's a description of both Golf/Bowling & Tennis/Bowling: most of the time, you'd "dress out" (meaning, put on shorts & a tee shirt), do five or so minutes of "stretches" (giving the "coach" the opportunity to yell at you) & then you'd go outside to either play tennis or hit golf balls.  If it was one of the happy bowling days (probably just two weeks of the entire semester) (but a shit-ton of fun!), you kept your clothes on, boarded a bus, & went to a local bowling alley.

But whether it was Golf/Bowling or Tennis/Bowling, there was one constant: on Fridays, you ran.

They made us run (or walk, if you were woefully out of shape) a mile every Friday.  On the little track near the football & baseball fields.  Four times around.  Did the "coach" run?  Of course not.  He stood at the starting line with his whistle & his notepad & yelled at you as you went past.  Most of the time it was just a chance to hang out with friends in the class & take a walk.  But you had to run a little when you were passing the "coach" - less time for him to yell at you.

We had a joke about the classes that we'd tell people who (for whatever reason) wanted to know what you did there.  We'd say, "In Tennis/Bowling, they teach you how to run with a tennis racket & with a bowling ball.  In Golf/Bowling, you also learn how to run with a golf club.  In Archery/Outdoor Education, you learn to run with a bow.  The outdoor education?  They teach you how to run outdoors."

I didn't have to take Archery/Outdoor Education, though, because of being a "trainer."  I have never regretted it until now - I'm going to be doing a radio show about archery & it might have come in handy.

But probably not.

Unsafe Thoughtings

There's a person named Leapy Lee & he still plays music all the time at the age of 72.

I forgot that Katharine Hepburn lived to be 96 years old.

While cooking something yesterday, it occurred to me that aluminum foil hasn't been around for most of human history.

(That could be said for Katharine Hepburn & Leapy Lee, too.)

It's New Intro Time!

About once a year, as I mentioned in a previous post, I make a new intro for my show. I have been doing Monday mornings on WRFL for a year now, & the station, being attached to a college, has "seasons" based on semesters. The summer semester season started this week, & it's been a year since my last intro, so I made a new one.

Do you want to hear it without having to listen to an entire interminable Self Help Radio show? You can listen to the new intro here!

In case you're curious, here are the previous intros. I can't believe I keep making them.  Surely I have better things to do with my time. (*)

You can listen to the 2002 intro here.

You can listen to the 2003 intro here.

You can listen to the 2005 intro here.

You can listen to the 2006 intro here.

You can listen to the 2007 intro here.

You can listen to the 2008 intro here.

You can listen to the 2009 intro here.

You can listen to the 2010 intro here.

You can listen to the 2011 intro here.

(*) Yeah, okay, I don't.

Do The Self Help Radio

Ah, dance crazes.  Who hasn't wanted to start &/or end one?  Today's Self Help Radio examines faddish & novelty dances that existed, that didn't exist, that were sarcastic commentaries on the whole concept of dance crazes, & even some dances that lasted long enough to become mainstream.  & since there was only ninety minutes, I read a bunch of other ones that I decided not to play.  Do you know how many songs about dances there are?  It's insane!

The show is dancing by itself at the Self Help Radio web site.  It's divided into two easy-to-learn steps: step one may involve putting your left foot out, while step two may involve something being shaken all about.  Details of the steps are below.

Thanks for coming to the dance!

(step one)

"Do The Dirt" The Meters _Cabbage Alley_
"Do The Clam" Elvis Presley _Girl Happy_
"Do The Hansa" The Cure _Join The Dots_

"The Twist" Chubby Checker _Twist With Chubby Checker_
"Do The Dog" Syko & The Caribs _Trojan Mod Reggae Box_
"Can Your Monkey Do The Dog" Rufus Thomas _Greatest Hits_
"Can Your Pussy Do The Dog?" The Cramps _A Date With Elvis_
"Land Of A Thousand Dances" Ike & Tina Turner _Get Yer Ya-Ya's Out! The Rolling Stones In Concert_
"I Gotta Do The Latest Dance" Gene Montgomery _Teen Town USA Vol. 5_

"Do The Choo Choo" Archie Bell & The Drells _Tightening It Up: The Best Of Archie Bell & The Drells_
"Tighten Up" Yellow Magic Orchestra _Kyoretsu Na Rhythm_
"Do The Brown Nose" The Dead Milkman _Death Rides A Pale Cow: The Ultimate Collection_

(step two)

"Do The Whirlwind" Architecture In Helsinki _In Case We Die_

"Do The Mashed Potatoes (Pt. 1)" James Brown _Star Time_
"Do The Booga Lou" King Coleman _It's Dance Time!_
"Do The Chop" The King Khan & BBQ Show _Invisible Girl_
"Do The Instant Mash" Joe Jackson _Look Sharp!_
"So, Do The Zonk" Donna Loren _Girls Go Zonk_
"Do The Zombie" The Symbols _Laff Blasts From The Past_
"The Time Warp" Cast _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_

"Do The Strand" Roxy Music _For Your Pleasure_
"Do The Donkey Kong" Buckner & Garcia _Pac-Man Fever_
"Do The Twistaroo" The Twistaroos _Twisted!_

Whither Do The Do?

We took the stray dog to the Humane Society today.  I hope she'll be okay.  We found out she was a she. She was sweet.  No one called the number after we put fliers out.  No one wrote to the Craigslist announcement.  How sad that, apparently, no one wants her.  I hope someone will.

Meanwhile, people continue to dance.  & dance they might during this week's Self Help Radio, which celebrates dance crazes from "The Twist" to "The Time Warp."  Maybe.  Or maybe so.  It's happening tomorrow morning (Monday) on 88.1 fm WRFL in Lexington.  You can listen to it online.  Or you can wait till later, & listen to it online then.  Either way, you can't escape the newest craze: doing the Self Help.

Unless you don't listen.  You're safe if you're not paying any attention at all.

Preface To Do The Do: I Don't Know Any Dances

I haven't started to do my "research" for my "radio show" yet but I suspect there are a million or so different "dances" that will go beyond what the theme this week covers.  Beyond, you know, "Do The Twist," "Do The Tighten Up," "Do The Dog," etc.  It makes me want to do make songs up for dances that don't really exist: "Do The Ted Danson."  "Do The Colonoscopy."  "Do The Charming Junkie."

But a dog - tagless & friendly - interrupted while we were walking which we brought home & now it's hiding in our backyard.  I've put an ad on Craigslist & I wandered the neighborhood looking for anyone calling out a dog's name, but it's too late to put up flyers - we'll do that tomorrow.  I just think about the poor thing in our backyard!  He is not eating anything.  He's just miserable.

We simply can't adopt another dog, & I'm not sure if he'd be happy here.  But oh my sweet Ed Helms bobble doll, I would hate to have to turn him over to animal control.  Lexington is probably not no-kill.  There's that voice inside you that says, "If you had left him on the street, he might have found his way home."  But you know that might not be true.

If one of our dogs were missing, we'd be waking up the neighborhood.

The saddest dance of all: Do The Lost Dog.

Thinking About Cats Today

Is your cat an outdoor cat or an indoor cat?  & outdoor cat here means "a cat allowed outdoors that spends some time indoors."

There are those who feel obliged to honor their furry companion's genetic programming by letting it outdoors to spray & kill whatever its tiny heart desires.  Should you live in an urban setting, this is practically a guarantee that your "pet" (said with a verbal caveat represented here by quotation marks) will live a truncated lifespan.  Did it or you make that trade-off?

Then there are those who wants to make their kitten's life as safe & happy as possible, & keep the cat indoors, even though it does seem to want to get outside, to chase falling leaves, to explore rustling sounds, to chase bugs & birds.  Such cats will most probably live very long lives - the average cat age is twelve to fifteen years, but some can live as long as twenty.

Here is a list of the things that can happen to an outdoor cat which may severely truncate its lifespan: "traffic accidents, fights with other cats, intentional acts of violence, poisoning (accidental or intentional), diseases caught from other cats, being picked up by animal control & subsequently euthanized if not claimed, & death caused by predators."


It's also worth noting that cats allowed outdoors kill lots of birds.  Lots of them.  Perhaps up to a billion a year.

The cats that populate the Self Help Radio landscape stay indoors.  One of them is too frightened to go outside.  One of them has asthma, & would most probably suffer needlessly, & die horribly, if she strayed & did not get her medicine.  The third is tough black cat who just turned six who'd doubtless be a terrific hunter - but who has a low white blood cell count & would probably succumb to the first infection that came his way.

They are all loved to distraction.  They stay indoors because their presence is required as long as humanly (& felinely) possible.

Are We Meme Yet?

Here's a list of the most popular memes generated by people just like you (& maybe even you!).

If you don't know your meme, there's a handy place to go to find out what it's all about.

For example, you might see an image with a cartoon drawing of genius astrophysicist & science popularizer Neil deGrasse Tyson.  Underneath it is some variation of the phrase "Look out, we got a badass right here."  That's called a rage meme.  Not because anyone is angry - least of all Tyson, who is amused by the whole thing, but because it's a "rage" as in the idiom "all the rage," meaning very popular.

Some people wonder where memes go when they die.  Some people fear the death of memes, so they get tattoos of them.

Luckily for everyone there are many repositories of memes, like this one, & probably dozens more - there's not really enough time to find & list them all - especially since that appears to be the reason Tumblr exists - so you never have to be surprised by a new meme again!

More Indiepop For The Masses

Yes, my exercise in futility continues.  I finished the Gs!  I started the Hs!  There was lots of good music!  But I understand I may be eighty-eight when I get to the letter S.

Hey, I have a freeform show that I do before Self Help Radio (it's called Sugar Substitute) & I hijacked that show so I could cover more indiepop ground.  Therefore the list of songs below is in FOUR parts & covers almost THREE hours of radio.  I hope you enjoy.  Here are the links to the separate parts:

part one I part two I part three I part four

The shows - & maybe all thirty-five previous episodes of the Indiepop A To Z series - are available at the Self Help Radio website.  Look for the indiepop shows on the archive page.

& thanks so much for listening!

(part one)

"Made-Up Lovesong # 43" The Gulliemots _From The Cliffs EP_
"A Brief Encounter" Guther _Sundet_
"For Your Smile" Gypsophile _Just For A Day_

"Funky Little Song" Bruce Haack _Listen Compute Rock Home: The Best Of Dimension 5_
"Our Love Was" Petra Haden _Petra Haden Sings: The Who Sell Out_
"Heaven Help You Now" Paul Haig _The Warp Of Pure Fun_
"The Last Stop" The Haircuts _Sorrow Is The Way To Love_
"Election Day" Hal _Election Day_

"Charmed Life" Half Japanese _Greatest Hits_
"Joy Division Oven Gloves" Half Man Half Biscuit _Achtung Bono_
"Eclipse" Half String _Eclipse * Oval * Hue_

(part two)

"Second City Blues" Halftime Oranges _Rotterdamnation_
"Rich Girl" Hall & Oates _The Essential Collection_

"Virginia Reel Around The Fountain" The Halo Benders _The Rebel's Not In_
"Stay Away For Awhile" The Halo Bit _Stay Away For Awhile 7"_
"Two Stones In My Pocket" Neil Halstead _Sleeping On Roads_
"You Might Not Believe" Handsome Train _This Engine Should Do_
"Another Day" Hang David _Another Day_

"Top Of Morning" The Hang Ups _So We Go_
"Love Is Blue" The Hangman's Beautiful Daughters _Love Is Blue_
"Soho" The Hangovers _Slow Dirty Tears_
"Hurray" Hanky & Panky _Labrador 100_

(part three)

"All These Things" Darren Hanlon _I Will Love You At All_
"Popemobile" Arne Hansen & The Guitarspellers _So Happy I Could Pop (Vol 2)_
"That's What I'm For" The Hanshalf Trio _Woosh! - Little Teddy Recordings 1991-2001_

"Girls FM" Happy Birthday _Happy Birthday_
"Terry" The Happy Birthdays _The Happy Birthdays_
"Another Sunny Day" The Happy Couple _Fools In Love_
"Puritans" The Happy Family _Man On Your Street_
"Under A Song" Happy Losers _Beikoku-Ongaku Magazine # 12_

"Step On" Happy Mondays _Pills 'n' Thrills & Bellyaches_
"Camera Song" Happy Supply _Crucial Cuts_
"Heaven No!" Happydeadmen _Eleven Pop Songs_

(part four)

"The Boy I Was" Harbour Bar _The Sound Of Leamington Spa Vol. 2_
"Orchid Sunrise" The Harbour Pilots _Welcome To The Wetherbeat Scene 1988 - 1991_
"Sleepers" Harbourkings _Summercolts_
"Bastard Son" John Wesley Harding _Here Comes The Groom_

"Wonderful Lie" The Hardy Boys _The Hardy Boys Play Songs From The Lenin & McCarthy Songbook_
"Finland" Hari & Aino _Hari & Aino_
"Make Me Smile (Come Up & See Me)" Steve Harley & Cockney Rebel _The Best Years Of Our Lives_
"Train Not Stopping" Harper Lee _Everything Is Going To Be OK_

"(There Is) No Refrain" Harrison _(There Is) No Refrain 7"_
"Crackerbox Palace" George Harrison _Thirty Three & 1/3_
"Bambi Eyes" Harry Hunks _20 Miles An Hour_

Whither Indiepop A To Z # 37?

(& 36 too!)

Tomorrow on both Self Help Radio & the show that I do which comes chronologically before it, which is called Sugar Substitute, I will be continuing the ridiculous indiepop project which I began too long ago to remember & which now stretches into a future that I might not actually make it all the way to.  This will be the 36th (on Sugar Substitute) & 37th (on Self Help Radio) editions of the Indiepop A To Z.  Spoiler alert: we'll finish the Gs!  Spoiling alert: we'll start the Hs!  I am spoiling you.

That's happening tomorrow morning - Monday the 30th - from 6 to 9am on the 88.1 frequency on the fm dial.  You can also listen online at wrfl dot fm.  & of course the show will be archived at self help radio dot net later tomorrow.

& hey!  I think almost all of the Indiepop A To Z collections are available on the Self Help Radio website!  Look through the archive page - you'll see!

Preface To Indiepop A To Z # 36 & 37: That Time Of Year Again

Oh god I don't know I am so obsessed with alphabetization.  What is wrong with me?

A person who feels the need to put things like bands they like in such order must have an underlying psychological condition.  By itself it's probably not so bad - but there surely are other issues involved.  Combined with, let's say, a discomfort at disorder or an unease with disorganization.  Do you see?  Everything starts to add up to - oh jeez - a condition.  For fuck's sake, should I be seeking professional help?  Getting myself a bespectacled head shrinker with a cold, stiff divan & telling my life story to someone paid to listen?  How can that be helpful?  I don't mean to discount the profession.  Just, I suppose I fear that the first thing that'll happen is that I'll be asked if I want some medications.  Kind of tempting...  Let's be honest, I've sort of been through this kind of thing before.  My psychological visits twenty years ago were deeply disappointing.  Not that I didn't need them - it's just that things didn't connect between me & the (admittedly poorly paid) analysts I was assigned to.  Oh, I know, people say it's as hard as finding a good doctor, finding a good psychologist, but I had neither the time nor the money.  Perhaps now, since I am older & more financially secure, it would be a different experience.  Questions I ask now would be more pointed.  Reactions might be better understood with greater experience.  Sessions could be processed with a (I can't believe I'm saying this) more mature mind.  Talk therapy, we are always told, is good thing, that it works.  Until it doesn't, unless it doesn't.  Very good, my love of order appears not to exist in my rationalizing mind.  Weaseling my way out of something I've never even committed to!  Xenophobes probably have more fun looking at maps!  You see what I am up against?  Zero probability of mental wellness in the near future!

This Random Dream About The Fall

I don't have a lot of dreams about The Fall even though I play them on virtually ever damn radio show I do these days.  I've seen them live maybe four times (the last time was the most recent famous meltdown, where Mark Smith fired the band after playing perhaps twenty minutes) (which is a thrilling thing for a Fall fan to see!) & the chances of me seeing them live in the near future are nil to none.  (But I might be going to Europe at the end of the year, so perhaps...)

I did dream about them last night.  The situation requires a bit of a backstory.  With recent advances in technology - which is to say, phones that can act as recording devices - it's easy to wander up to a more or less accessible musician & ask him/her/it if they would like to do an Artist ID for the radio station.  I did exactly none of these for KVRX or KOOP - but they weren't considered much of a priority at either station.  At WRFL, though, they got dozens of those things!  Stretching back many moons!  & not just musicians either - my favorite is the late, great Evel Knievel!

I managed to get one last year when I saw Darren Hanlon in Cincinnati & I got one when I saw the Wedding Present in Chicago last month.  But I've missed more than I've gotten - mainly because I forget, since it's not really a priority in my mind.  For example, when I was hanging out with my friends Bearsuit in Austin last year, I could totally have at any time gotten an artist ID.  I was just having too much fun to ask.

Oh, & you can't just beg people to do it through the emails.  They say they will but never do.  Or they just don't write back.  Because it's a little presumptuous!

In the dream I am in some kind of convenience store & I bump into Mark E. Smith, the mastermind of the Fall.  He's much shorter than I am - whether that's true in real life I don't know - & he seems to be a younger version of the very aged malcontent you see these days.  I ramble on about how much I like the Fall & even tell him that I knew I loved them when, like when you learn a language you know you're getting it when you dream in that language, I started to dream in The Fall.  He seems utterly uninterested in this information as well he should be.

A little embarrassed by my fanboy nonsense, I walk away & then think, "Holy crap I could get an artist ID!"  I find my wife - who has the iPhone I'll need to record the spot - & approach Mark Smith, now with his much-younger-than-he-is band, & ask them if that's okay.  They don't seem to mind, so I find some paper to write "WRFL Lexington" on so they can say something like, "Hi this is the Fall you're listening to" etc.

Here's where the dream becomes a typical Gary dream: the wife's iPhone has a lot of programs running that I need to keep closing until I can open the audio recording one.  Of course, an iPhone doesn't work that way, like a computer with screen after screen on a busy desktop, but in the dream it did, & I got upset at the wife  for running so many damn apps simultaneously.

Then, for some reason, I can't seem to write WRFL properly.  I am misspelling the call letters of my radio station!  I am writing with a black sharpie & I it's coming out W R E E or W R E L or some other combination that only vaguely resembles the actual call letters.

When I finally get it right, the band has gathered around Mark Smith & they do the ID.  You know, the folks who might not be in the band for the next record.  While the Fall's one constant sits there & smirks.

It almost made me not want to try to get artist IDs any more.