Whither Loser?

I wish I could say, "This show is for the losers!"  That's the sort of thing someone would say triumphantly in a "Revenge Of The Nerds" type movie, where the losers end up on top.  But that hardly ever happens.  Or else why would they be called losers?

However, if you want pretend this is a contest - which has obvious winners & losers - then it must be admitted that Self Help Radio - which has been barely been noticed in its ten years - nearly eleven years? - on the air - is a total radio loser.  So this show is for Self Help Radio!  Wait.  It's impossible to say that triumphantly.

From 4 to 6pm today on 88.1 fm WRFL Lexington, online at WRFL dot FM.  I hope you'll join us.

But if you're a winner, be nice.  We're feeling a little low.

Preface To Losers: Did I Like That Comic Book?

I was never a big fan of war comics, even though my older brothers used to bring home every damn kind of comic, & I was reading comics voraciously by at least the first grade, if not sooner.  (In second grade, I once brought all my comics to school with me, to show a friend.  They fit in a giant grocery bag.)  I was familiar with The Losers, & I did read enough issues to know who the characters were.  I think in retrospect I didn't appreciate the art - the lines of Joe Kubert aren't as attractive to a seven-year-old as they might be to an older comic lover.  (I remember similarly, as a little kid, being somewhat turned off by Neal Adams.)  I liked the people who drew super heroes best.  They made them more cartoony - or at the very least larger than life.

I haven't read the updated version but I did see the movie which, since it featured Idris Elba, is worth watching, especially if you're a little drunk.  But it didn't make me want to read the comic.

I see DC Comics has a collection of Jack Kirby's run on the original Losers:

I'd be curious to read that, but only, you know, because it's Jack Kirby.

If someone had a collection of Losers comics they'd let me read, sure, I'd read them now.  I miss having those old comics around.  But did I like the comic & do I remember it fondly?  No, I guess not.

I feel a little like a loser for saying so.

Christine

It's strange how few Christines I have known in my life.  It seems like such a popular name.  I don't even think there was a Christine in my high school class.  But!  It's a name that lends itself to song!

There are thirty Christine songs for the Christine in your life or the Christine in you.  You can listen now to the entire show at the Self Help Radio website or! if you're impatient! you can listen to the show directly (it's in two parts): part one & part two.  Christine songs played on the show are listed below.

Thanks for listening, any & all Christines!

(part one)

"Miss Christine" Brownie McGhee & The Jook House Rockers _The Best Of Harlem & Jax Records, Vol. 2_
"Christine" The Dells _Time Makes You Change 1954-1961_
"Christene" Little Hank Crawford & The Rhythm Kings _Night Train To Nashville: Music City Rhythm & Blues 1945-1970_

"Christine Keeler" Phil Ochs _Broadside Tapes 1_
"Christine" Burt Blanca _La Collection Sixties Des EPs Francais_
"Christine" Marisa _Ultra Chicks, Vol. 1: Filles In The Garage_
"Christina" Waylon Jennings _Destiny's Child_
"Christine's Tune" Flying Burrito Bros. _Sacred Hearts & Fallen Angels - The Gram Parsons Anthology_
"Christine" Big Walter Horton _Big Walter Horton With Carey Bell_

"Kirsteen/Christinn" Gordon Bok _Bay Of Fundy_
"Dear Christine" Klaatu _Sun Set: 1973-1981_
"Little Christine" Mott The Hoople _Backsliding Fearlessly: The Early Years_
"Christine Sixteen" Kiss _The Casablanca Singles 1974-1982_

"Christine" Garland Jeffreys _Escape Artist_

(part two)

"Christine Keeler" Glaxo Babies _Dreams Interrupted_
"Christine" Siouxsie & The Banshees _Kaleidoscope_
"Life For Christine" Bombay Ducks _Dance Music_
"Christine" The House Of Love _1986-1988: The Creation Recordings_

"Pristine Christine" The Sea Urchins _CD86: 48 Tracks From The Birth Of Indie Pop_
"Christine Norden" The Nivens _From A Northumbrian Mining Village Comes The Sound Of Summer_
"Christine" The Monochrome Set _The Best Of The Monochrome Set_
"Christine's World" Nits _Ting_

"Li'l Christine" Material Issue _International Pop Overthrow_
"Capital Christine" Smoking Popes _Destination Failure_
"Christine, ND" Tullycraft _Beat Surf Fun_
"Opening On Thompson" Baskervilles _Baskervilles_
"Come Crash" A.C. Newman _The Slow Wonder_

"Christine" Paul Roland _Roaring Boys_
"Christine" Baby Woodrose _Love Comes Down_
"Oh Christine" The Cave Singers _Invitation Songs_

In Lexington Tonight...

These guys:



Excited!

Junk

Gah!  Look at all this junk!  It's like I need a radio show to keep it in!

I do!  Self Help Radio's junk show is rotting away at the SHR junk yard (pictured above).  You can go through a couple of piles if you want - there's a pile here & there's a pile over there.  I even made a list of what's in the piles below.  Have you had a tetanus show recently?

Enjoy the scavenging!

(one pile)

"I Don't Want That Junk Outa You" Memphis Minnie & Kansas Joe McCoy _Queen Of The Country Blues: All The Published Sides - 1929 - 1937_
"Junk Man" Spirits Of Rhythm _1933 - 1945_
"I Sold My Heart To The Junkman" The Four Tunes _The Complete Jubilee Sessions_
"Please Mr Junkman" Penguins _The Legends Of Doowop, Vol. 3_

"Leave That Junk Alone" Johnny Cash _All Aboard The Blue Train_
"Junk Maker Shoppe" Yellow Balloon _Yellow Balloon_
"Junkman's Song" The Stark Reality _Now_
"Turnstiled, Junkpiled" Townes Van Zandt _Anthology 1968 - 1979_
"The Streetbeater" Quincy Jones _You've Got It Bad Girl_

"Radio Junk" Yellow Magic Orchestra _Faker Holic_
"The King Of Junk" Virgin Prunes _Over The Rainbow + Heresie EP_
"Junkyard" Birthday Party _Junkyard_
"Junk Mail" Circle Jerks _Golden Shower Of Hits_
"Jack Junk" Itchy Rat _Go & Do It: The Aberrant Compilations_

"Junk" Bronski Beat _The Age Of Consent_

(another pile)

"The Junk Keeps Piling Up" The Higsons _The Curse Of The Higsons_
"3Junk" Three Johns _Atom Drum Bop_
"Junkyard" Alex Chilton _High Priest_

"Oscar's Junk Band" Oscar The Grouch _Sesame Street: Oscar's Trashy Songs_
"So Much Junk" Frank Allison & The Odd Sox _Monkey Business_
"Junk Shop Clothes" The Auteurs _New Wave_
"Junk Man" The Fall _Middle Class Revolt_

"Junk" Monaco _Music For Pleasure_
"Junk" Hefner _Dead Media_
"Junk" You Am I _You Am I's #4 Record_
"Junk" T-Model Ford _She Ain't None Of Your'n_

"Junked!" The Mayfair Set _Young One EP_
"Spacejunk" The Bats _Free All The Monsters_

Whither Christine?

I'm back!  You didn't notice I was gone.

I only have two Christines as friends on Facebook.  This show could be for either of them, or both of them.  I am generally not as thoughtful a person as someone who makes a show for one of his or her friends.  I just happened to listen to two or three songs in a row called "Christine" & dared myself to do an entire show for the name.

& so I shall!

I wish I had fun stories from my trip, but the older I get, the more I am mainly focused on food.  Yum!  Ethiopian food!  Yum!  Vegan buffets!  Yum!  Vegan migas!  I ate too much & truly deserve to be laughed at & called "fatty" every opportunity for the foreseeable future.

Speaking of foreseeable futures, hey!  Self Help Radio is on this afternoon from 4 to 6 pm!  It's on the air in Lexington at 88.1 fm, & online here, there, & everywhere at wrfl dot fm.  Please listen, especially if you're named Christine.

& I promise to get last week's show up as soon as I can.  I just got home!  There were ticks on me!  Ticks!

Days Off

Going away for a little while.  But will be back for next week's show.  However.  Yesterday's show won't be posted for a little while.  Please forgive me.  Have a safe & happy weekend.  xoxo

Whither Junk?

Hey man. I got a lot of good junk at my place. Wanna take a look?

Not now! Not now! Come between 4 & 6 pm today.  You can get to my place at 88.1 on the fm dial or at <a href="http://wrfl.fm/">WRFL</a> - you know where that is?

Good. Good. I'm serious, man, it's some really primo grade-A junk.  Yeah.  See you then.

Preface To Junk: Boom! 1600 Posts

Speaking of junk, I was thinking of making a poem based on the first words of every post written to date.  What made me change my mind?  This:

Hi this when here's but quick this I in I we why Halloween.

It's worse than playing Mad Libs with a bunch of people half your age in a rented mini-van on the way to Atlanta!

It's also probably better than the poems I used to write when I was sad enough to write poems.  Now, I fear, I am too sad.

I have no reason to mention this but I enjoy playing the trivia game You Don't Know Jack on my iPad.  But I refuse to log in with my Facebook account.  First, I don't want to give up my personal goofball data that easily; & also, who wants to play video games with Facebook friends?  Competition brings out the worst in people.

Said Adam Smith to Karl Marx playing Words With Friends.

I have too much to do to count the number of posts like I like doing but I will point out that:

Post # 1: September 12, 2006
Post # 1600: May 23, 2013

If I were writing a Harry Potter or Game Of Thrones-sized book, it would take me nearly seven years to finish it!

Unless the Harry Potter books aren't that big.  Should I have said Dune?  Would anyone get that reference these days?  In the 1980s, maybe.  But now?

I'm a little sleep-deprived.  How are you?  Did you find your way here by accident?  I thought so.

Tomorrow With Be The 1600th Post On This Blog

Who cares?

It's a little amazing how little we know about the year 1600 (CE, but at the time, AD).  Just looking at Wikipedia's page for the year, there are several unknown dates of things we know happened that year & people we know were born that year, but the dates are not exact.  Also, there's a section called "probable."  It might not have happened, but it's probable it did!

1600 Pennsylvania Avenue is the address of the American President's residence, known as "the White House."  The zip code, by the way, is 20500.  In case you want to write something.  Although there's also an email address, or rather, an online form.  What?  No "president@whitehouse.gov"?

Obama might be afraid George W. Bush still occasionally checks his mail at that address.

There's also a 1600 Smith Street, a giant office building in Houston, but you wouldn't want to visit there, let along email anyone who happened to be around.  It's an office building in Houston, for pete's sake!

Ah, 1600 CE.  Shakespeare wrote The Merchant Of Venice that year.  Nothing that grand will ever ever come from this blog.  In 1600, Giordano Bruno was burned at the stake.  That's more of the mood around here, generally.

Caesar

I must've misspelled "Caesar" two thousand times while writing stuff down for this show.  I was going to write some kind of riff on "Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears," but every time I wrote "Caesar" it came out as "Casear" or "Ceaser" or "Cesaer."  Julius Ceaser?  Dude, stop!

Many spoken word pieces on this show, as well as a hip hop version of a famous soliloquy.  What more could you want?  Except, perhaps, for a night at a Roman orgy?  Really?  You'd want that?  Weirdo.

The show is now at the ruins I call "the Self Help Radio website".  Or you can listen directly by choosing either part I or part II.  Please note the use of Roman numerals.  Caesar songs in each part listed below.

Gratias vobis ago!  For listening, I mean.

(part one)

"The Story Of Rome: Enter, Caesar" Jim Weiss _Julius Caesar & The Story Of Rome_
"Julius Caesar" The Mills Brothers _The 1930s Recordings_
"Caesar" Ty Segall _Melted_

"Julius Caesar (William Shakespeare)" Morris Schreiber _Windows For Youth: Guidance Through Literature_
"Caesar Needs A Brutus" Simon Bonney _Forever_
"Julius Caesar (Memento Hodie)" Nico _The Marble Index_

"Caesar" Iggy Pop _American Caesar_
"Caesar's Palace" Charles Wright _The Watts 103rd Street Rhythm Band_
"Ides Of March" Stag _Stag_

"High School Caesar" Reggie Perkins _Teen-Age Riot!_

(part two)

"Young Caesar 2000" The Mountain Goats _Zopilote Machine_
"Little Caesar On A Bicycle" Rock*A*Teens _Golden Time_
"Little Caesar" Blondie _The Hunter_
"Caesar" The Cannanes _The Cannanes_
"Unto Caesar" Dirty Projectors _Swing Lo Magellan_

"Julius Caesar" Brother Dave Gardner _Live In Concert, Vol 2_
"Caesars Tod" Ute Lemper _Ute Lemper Sings Kurt Weill_
"Three Times (Julius Caesar)" Flocabulary _Shakespeare Is Hip-Hop_

"Eric The Gardener" The Divine Comedy _Fin De Siècle_
"Caesar's Planet" Gene Defcon _Fields & Streams_
"Ease Up Caesar" Asian Dub Foundation _Punkara_
"Julius Caesar Plum Cake Dance" Pino D'Angiò _Italian Classics: Pino D'Angiò Collection, Vol. 2_

"Czar" Moev _Dusk & Desire_
"Czar" Frank Black _Frank Black_

Whither Caesar?

I have a fascination with Romans.  The historical Romans, not the British people who play Romans in movies, which always freaked me out, because didn't the Romans conquer the Britons & the Celts?

Where was I?  Oh yes, today's radio show.

I remember, I had to memorize, in tenth grade, three of the speeches in Shakespeare's Julius Caesar, none of which I've retained.  Everyone in the class has to memorize the "cowards die a thousand times before their death" speech, as well as Anthony's "Friends, Romans, countrymen" speech & his words about Brutus at his death - "This was the noblest Roman of them all!"  We had to go to Mrs. Phillips' room at a time - after school? - when it was just her & you, the two of you, & do all three in succession.    (I remember people waiting outside, perhaps listening to me.)  Even though it was just me with her, I was very nervous, & even though I breezed through the first two, my knees began to tremble as I got to the last one.  I honestly thought I might void my bowels, I was so nervous.

Mrs. Phillips - who was a nice woman, who also taught German, & especially taught some of my older siblings - told me, "I really liked how emotional you got at the end there!"

My fear would never again help me in such a way.

Meanwhile, today's show is all about Caesar - & it's on 88.1 fm in Lexington, & online at wrfl.fm.  From four to six pm EST.  If you're in a Roman mood.

Preface To Caesar: Pizza Pizza?

Listener Jack has recommended to me (so I am passing on the savings to you) the original trailer to the 1931 Edward G. Robinson flick Little Caesar, which you can view here.

He also sent me a clip:



I was totally expecting that little pizza guy.  Can you imagine how Julius Caesar would feel to know that two thousand years later his cartoon image is being used to sell mediocre pizzas?  Someone would need to be thrown to the lions!

Caesar Salad

I don't know if I've ever had a Caesar salad.  The Wikipedia's entry says that it's a "salad of romaine lettuce & croutons dressed with parmesan cheese, lemon juice, olive oil, egg, Worcestershire sauce, garlic, & black pepper."  I haven't always been vegan, so there's a chance I might have eaten one but I don't remember - it seems a pretty bland salad.  No tomatoes?  Gasp!

There are plenty of vegan recipes for Caesar salad out there - like this one, which also (kinda cool) has you make your croutons, something of which I approve.

There are many things one misses when one becomes vegan, but this salad doesn't seem as interesting as some others - like Greek salads.  Boy, feta cheese.  Feta cheese & olives, yum!

Also, apparently you can get salmonella with Caesar salad.  & it wasn't named after the Caesar about which much of the show this week will be.  Though it was named after an Italian named Caesar, so there's a connection, however untenable.

A Tribute To George Jones

Self Help Radio spent a couple of hours saying goodbye & celebrating the life of the great George Jones.  It's probably best to let the music speak for itself.

The songs I played - songs by George Jones (alone & with others), covers of George Jones songs, & songs about George Jones - are listed below.  The show is at the Self Help Radio website but if you can't be bothered to go look there, you can listen to both parts by clicking these links: part one | part two.

Goodbye, George.  Thank you for all the music.

(part one)

"Root Beer" George Jones _The New Favorites Of George Jones_
"Why Baby Why" Red Sovine & Webb Pierce _From The Vaults: Decca Country Classics 1934-1973_
"George Jones Is Playin' In The City Tonight" Austin Lounge Lizards _Lizard Vision_

"The Grand Tour" George Jones _The Grand Tour_
"You're Still On My Mind" The Byrds _Sacred Hearts & Fallen Angels: The Gram Parsons Anthology_
"Stranger In The House" Elvis Costello _My Aim Is True_
"He Stopped Loving Her Today" The Geraldine Fibbers _Poop Alley Tapes_
"I Was Country When Country Wasn't Cool" Barbara Mandrell _20th Century Masters: The Best Of Barbara Mandrell_

"Ceremony" George Jones & Tammy Wynette _Me & The First Lady_
"We Must Have Been Out Of Our Minds" John Prine & Melba Montgomery _In Spite Of Ourselves_
"Ain't No Woman Gonna Make A George Jones Outta Me" Daniel Johnston _Welcome To My World_
"She Thinks I Still Care" Solomon Burke _Proud Mary_
"Don't Cry Darlin'" David Allan Coe _The Essential David Allan Coe_

"The King Is Gone (So Are You)" George Jones _The Essential George Jones: The Spirit Of Country_
"White Lightning" The Fall _Shift-Work_

(part two)

"What Would George Jones Do?" Honky Tonkitis _Alcohol & Heartbreak_
"Just One More" John Hammond _Ready For Love_
"I Gotta Get Drunk" George Jones & Willie Nelson _Best Country Duets_

"If Drinkin' Don't Kill Me (Her Memory Will)" George Jones _I Am What I Am_
"A Good Year For The Roses" Johnny Paycheck _Johnny Paycheck: A Country Legend_
"George Jones Talkin' Cell Phone Blues" Drive-By Truckers _The Fine Print (A Collection Of Oddities & Rarities 2003-2008)_
"What Am I Worth" Dave Alvin _King Of California_
"Yesterday's Wine" Merle Haggard & George Jones _A Taste Of Yesterday's Wine_

"Who Shot Sam" George Jones _The Fabulous Country Music Sound Of George Jones_
"The Race Is On (live)" Grateful Dead _Reckoning_
"Play Me Some George Jones Songs" Jimmy Martin _Me'N Ole Pete_
"Love Bug" Don Rich _Don Rich Sings George Jones_
"What's In Our Hearts" George Jones & Melba Montgomery _What's In Our Hearts_

"These Days (I Barely Get By)" George Jones _Anniversary: Ten Years Of Hits_
"Her Name Is" George Jones _Alone Again_
"Two Story House" George Jones & Tammy Wynette _Together Again_

Whither A Tribute To George Jones?

Man, if anyone deserves someone playing his music & talking a little about his life, it's him.  You can read the New York Times obituary, titled "his life was a country song," to get a sense of the man.

In my usual dumbass way, I'll be playing lots of his music, people covering him, songs about him, & a few collaborations.  I won't do him justice because I am probably incapable of doing a real tribute.  If you're a big fan, you might not want to listen - I might offend you.

But it's the only way I know how to process these things & say goodbye, & I pretend I am doing something different than the average tribute show, & it makes me happy to think so.

The show will be on today from 4 to 6 pm, on 88.1 fm WRFL in Lexington & on your computer at the WRFL website.  Yeah, I'll archive it later.

George Jones.  It's nice I get to live in a world that had him in it for a little while.

Preface To A Tribute To George Jones: If This Radio Show Don't Kill Me, Drinking Will

Seriously, listening to George Jones for several days in preparation for this show might be doing my liver serious damage.

New Intro Time Again!

I am doing something that I do every year, which is make a new intro for my show.

Technically, I didn't do it every year of my show - apparently 2003 & 2004 passed before I made another intro.  Oh how I wish I had chosen to make a new intro every two years!  Well.  Anyway.  There's a new one that will debut on Friday's show.

Want to listen to it now?  In case you do, it's right here, a click away.  But seriously, it's no big deal.

I've made a lot of them - like I said, almost one a year.  Mostly one a year.  It should be a source of pride for me but there you are.  Wanna hear them?

You can listen to the 2002 intro (my first!) here.

You can listen to the 2003 intro here.

You can listen to the 2005 intro here.

You can listen to the 2006 intro here.

You can listen to the 2007 intro here.

You can listen to the 2008 intro here.

You can listen to the 2009 intro here.

You can listen to the 2010 intro here.

You can listen to the 2011 intro here.

You can listen to the 2012 intro (the most recent!) here.

Necks

Necks!  What the heck!  I'm kind of a wreck, I've watched too much Star Trek, I'm at your call & beck, & tired of being a smart alec: let's check on necks!

It's a show about necks, it's true.  Look at the songs below if you don't believe me.  Listen to the show over at the Self Help Radio website if you can't imagine such a thing.  Here, listen to it by clicking directly here for part one & here for part two.  Really.  It's a show about necks!

Though I never got around to talking about necking.  I wonder what that means.

(part one)

"Necks, Necks, Necks" Sarah Silverman _Songs Of The Sarah Silverman Program_
"Neck" Robyn Hitchcock & The Egyptians _Luminous Groove_
"Broke My Neck" Echo & The Bunnymen _Heaven Up Here_

"Wear My Ring Around Your Neck" Elvis Presley _King Creole_
"Up To My Neck In High Muddy Waters" The Greenbriar Boys _Best Of The Vanguard Years_
"A Swallow On My Neck" Morrissey _The HMV / Parlophone Singles 88-95_
"Your Sweet Neck" The Moog _Sold For Tomorrow_
"Peck Ya Neck" Mandrill _Solid_

"Lucas Was A Redneck" Mac Davis _Country Funk 1969 - 1975_
"Redneck" Swamp Dogg _Total Destruction Of Your Mind_
"Redneck (Single Edit)" Luxuria _Unanswerable Lust & Beast Box_
"Temple Redneck" The Sandkings _Welcome To England_
"Redneck Gout Club" Finally Punk _Get Serious_

"Pencil Neck Geek" Fred Blassie _Dr. Demento 20th Anniversary Collection: The Greatest Novelty Records Of All Time_
"Neck Tattoo" Todd Barry _Medium Energy_

(part two)

"Chicken Necks" The Genies _Who's That Knocking_
"Fried Neck Bones & Some Homefries" Willie Bobo _Uno, Dos, Tres 1-2-3_
"Long Neck Bottles" Captain Beefheart & The Magic Band _The Spotlight Kid/Clear Spot_
"Up The Neck" The Pretenders _The Pretenders_

"Brassneck" The Wedding Present _Bizarro_
"Bottleneck At Capel Curig" Half Man Half Biscuit _Trouble Over Bridgwater_
"Break Your Neck" East Village _Hotrod Hotel_
"One Neck" Holly Golightly _Truly She Is None Other_

"Rough Neck Blues" The Allen Brothers _The Complete Recordings Vol. 3: 1932-1934_
"Down In My Neck Of The Woods" Bob Wills & His Texas Playboys _San Antonio Rose_
"Columbian Necktie" Big Black _Songs About Fucking_
"Hit Me" Savages _Silence Yourself_
"Bangkok Necktie" Man Man _Life Fantastic_

"The Jiffy Neckwear Creation" Baby Lemonade _Souvenirs from Egg Records_
"V-Neck" Madison Electric _Drive-In Season_

Whither Necks?

What if I told you I didn't have any better idea?

I am a little freaked out that people eat the necks of things, but one of the main reasons I stopped eating meat way back when was discovering that we ate the muscles of animals.  Honestly, I didn't really know what part of the animal we were eating - except when someone would say "liver" or "wing," which was self-explanatory - but finding out specifically what freaked me out.  I'm glad that I don't do that anymore.

I once had a terrible dream & woke up with my hands around the neck of the person I was in bed with. I am glad I didn't hurt her.  She told me that I never even tightened my grip, it was just weird, I woke her up by putting my hands around her neck.  I was dreaming I was about to strangle someone.  That could've turned ugly.

I have a radio show about necks today, did you know?  It's true.  It's on my 4 to 6 pm on 88.1 fm WRFL here in Lexington; you can listen online at the WRFL website (which has other charms).

Listen or I'll wring your neck!  Okay, that was mean.  Sorry.