Eek! It's late! I'm on in less than hour!
I continue indiepop alphabetical nonsense from ten to midnight on 88.1 fm WRFL in Lexington & online at wrfl.fm! Listen if you appreciate the fine art of indiepop or doing things in a dictionary-type style!
Friday, December 27, 2013
Thursday, December 26, 2013
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
Happy Christmas From Self Help Radio!
Though I don't celebrate Christmas - I often tell people who ask me why that I am not a Christian, & I don't have children, so there's not a lot of participating for me in the holiday - I do remember how wonderful it was when I was a child (a childhood, by the way, in which Santa seemed a hell of a lot more important than Jesus ever did) & I understand that it's a good idea to have a time that you can spend with your family, because that's important for most of us.
This year I made my wife go to California to spend Christmas with her mother, & I think I even convinced her to visit her father. It's after five pm on Christmas Day & my own mother hasn't even called yet. That would bother her if she were in my place, but I liked spending three hours on the radio this morning, & I liked sleeping through most of the day (although I did catch a cold this week - my first one this year, I believe - & I caught it from being in a house with small children, who are sickness incubators). The wife is getting on a plane & will be home in time for boxing day when, I hope, we get a chance to go at it again in the ring - she luckily ko'd me in the third round last time. She distracted me with flirting.
I do love Christmas carols. Like television theme songs & advertising jingles & Saturday morning "educational" songs, they figure prominently in my childhood. I do a radio show about them every year! So I enjoy some aspects of the season. Though I don't buy anything, or give gifts, or spend time with family, or believe any of the myths & superstitions associated with the holiday, there is something nice about it, & I hope you are having fun doing whatever you are doing on Christmas Day!
This year I made my wife go to California to spend Christmas with her mother, & I think I even convinced her to visit her father. It's after five pm on Christmas Day & my own mother hasn't even called yet. That would bother her if she were in my place, but I liked spending three hours on the radio this morning, & I liked sleeping through most of the day (although I did catch a cold this week - my first one this year, I believe - & I caught it from being in a house with small children, who are sickness incubators). The wife is getting on a plane & will be home in time for boxing day when, I hope, we get a chance to go at it again in the ring - she luckily ko'd me in the third round last time. She distracted me with flirting.
I do love Christmas carols. Like television theme songs & advertising jingles & Saturday morning "educational" songs, they figure prominently in my childhood. I do a radio show about them every year! So I enjoy some aspects of the season. Though I don't buy anything, or give gifts, or spend time with family, or believe any of the myths & superstitions associated with the holiday, there is something nice about it, & I hope you are having fun doing whatever you are doing on Christmas Day!
Monday, December 23, 2013
Self Help Radio 122013: A Very Self Help Radio Christmas 2013
Radio show here ---> selfhelpradio.net
Or here in two parts ---> part I | part II
Happy holidays all!
(part one)
"Rod Serling Explains The First Christmas" National Lampoon _Buy This Box Or We'll Shoot This Dog: The Best Of The National Lampoon Radio Hour_
"The Twelve Days Of Christmas" The Master Chorale Of Tampa Bay & The Florida Orchestra _A Musicological Journey Through The Twelve Days Of Christmas_
"¿Dònde Està Santa Claus? (Where Is Santa Claus?)" Augie Rios _Christmas Songs_
"Let Me Be Your Christmas Toy" Chocolate Snow _Eccentric Soul: Smart's Palace_
"L'il Elfy" Ray Bolger _L'il Elfy_
"I Can't Wait" Richard X Heyman _I Can't Wait_
"The Ho Ho Chorus" The Queen Bees _The Queen Bees Buzz Christmas_
"A Very Very Merry Christmas" The Singing Grandmothers _A Very Very Merry Christmas_
"Christmas Caroling" Louis C.K. _Live In Houston_
"Christmas Shopping" Buck Owens & His Buckeroos _Christmas Shopping_
"Christmas" Clinic _Come Into Our Room_
"Little Stars" Holly Golightly _Little Stars_
"The Mistletoe & Me" Isaac Hayes _The Complete Stax-Volt Soul Singles, Vol. 2: 1968-1971_
"God Rest Ye Funky Bhangra" James Whetzel _Holiday: Sarod & Beats_
(part two)
"Green Chri$tma$" Stan Freberg _The Tip Of The Freberg: The Stan Freberg Collection 1951-1998_
"Twinkle" JD McPherson _Twinkle_
"The Little Drummer Boy" Kool & The Gang _Kool For The Holidays_
"You Are My" Big Tree _Decembet EP_
"The Smallest Christmas Tree" Ashtray Boy _Candypants Beach_
"The Snow Doesn't Fall" The Aislers Set _A Christmas Gift From Fortuna Pop, Volume One_
"Everything Is One Big Christmas Tree" The Magnetic Fields _Realism_
"When Santa Claus Gets Your Letter" Anne Lloyd & The Sandpipers _When Santa Claus Gets Your Letter_
"Santa Couldn't Fit You Under My Tree" Summer Hymns _Kindercore Fifty_
"Christmas At The Airport" Nick Lowe _Quality Street: A Seasonal Selection For All The Family_
"The Night Before Christmas (In Texas, That Is)" Gene Autry _Merry Texas Christmas, You All!_
"Back To The Beat (Jingle Bells Version)" Astonomar _A Very Decent Christmas_
"The Snowdog" MomusMcClymont _MomusMcClymont_
"Kiss You In The Snow" The School _Yo, También (Me, Too) OST_
"Am I Too Old For Christmas?" The Ashes _Mint 400 Records: A Very Merry Christmas Compilation_
Friday, December 20, 2013
Whither A Very Self Help Radio Christmas 2013?
'Twas five days before Christmas, Self Help Radio's on the air,
But Lexington was shopping - less they could not care.
Still Gary was deejaying, playing holiday tunes
When he felt a strange presence right there in the room.
"Damn those moths & cockroaches!" he cursed, shaking his fist -
Until he thought he heard a slight "Tsk, tsk, tsk."
Holy shit! It was Santa! This could not be!
It was the last time Gary'd do radio after dropping LSD!
"I am not a figment," said the jolly old dude,
"Of imagination, as you previously construed.
I am dear old Nick, & I wanted to say
Despite your humbuggery & atheist ways
That I appreciate you & your radio shows…"
Then he put his fat finger right up to his nose
& blam! he crashed right up through the ceiling
Into his waiting sleigh - Gary was reeling.
"If that wasn't real, I'm insane," he said on the air,
"Plus he talked in rhyme - I swear I swear!"
After his show, a show no one listened to
He drove home in the cold, he was sleepy too.
But at his front door, what's this he did see?
A present from Santa - the new Fall LP!
So Gary was muttering as he bid the evening farewell
"Happy Christmas to all - but especially listeners of WRFL."
Self Help Radio on tonight from 10 to midnight on 88.1 fm WRFL in Lexington, & also online wherever Santa may be on wrfl dot fm. Christmas tunes!
But Lexington was shopping - less they could not care.
Still Gary was deejaying, playing holiday tunes
When he felt a strange presence right there in the room.
"Damn those moths & cockroaches!" he cursed, shaking his fist -
Until he thought he heard a slight "Tsk, tsk, tsk."
Holy shit! It was Santa! This could not be!
It was the last time Gary'd do radio after dropping LSD!
"I am not a figment," said the jolly old dude,
"Of imagination, as you previously construed.
I am dear old Nick, & I wanted to say
Despite your humbuggery & atheist ways
That I appreciate you & your radio shows…"
Then he put his fat finger right up to his nose
& blam! he crashed right up through the ceiling
Into his waiting sleigh - Gary was reeling.
"If that wasn't real, I'm insane," he said on the air,
"Plus he talked in rhyme - I swear I swear!"
After his show, a show no one listened to
He drove home in the cold, he was sleepy too.
But at his front door, what's this he did see?
A present from Santa - the new Fall LP!
So Gary was muttering as he bid the evening farewell
"Happy Christmas to all - but especially listeners of WRFL."
Self Help Radio on tonight from 10 to midnight on 88.1 fm WRFL in Lexington, & also online wherever Santa may be on wrfl dot fm. Christmas tunes!
Thursday, December 19, 2013
Preface To A Very Self Help Radio Christmas 2013: My Take On This Whole Cultural Mess Of The Season (Part XIII)
Hey! Can you believe it? Someone or something barely famous (or really famous) did said tweeted implied something offensive! Then someone who disagreed with me agreed with them! That makes me so mad I've spent the afternoon in the "comments" section of every website I visit!
I am sometimes glad I watch the television show The Soup, so I can be vaguely aware of things that are happening in the culture that I manage to avoid. Rich people who are famous for being famous, pop singers who no-one will remember a few years from now, & of course the "stars" of "reality" television. One of whom said something offensive recently. Which didn't offend me because I don't know who that person is & I don't think someone who's famous for being in a reality TV show has an opinion that I care to know.
The other thing I saw people upset about had something to do with musicians being inducted into some rock & roll awards thing. I am always a little amused that otherwise sensible people pay attention to that - like the Grammys & other music awards shows, it's never really about how good or important the music is but how much money it has made the parasites in the music industry (I'm sorry, I meant "executives"). The music world suffers for that - commercial radio accounts for less than 1% of 1% of the music being made in the world, & so they naturally can't focus on the quality of music made. It's all about moolah.
Christmas is, too, but like with popular culture, I don't generally participate. Except with my Christmas show. Which I need to go work on bye!
I am sometimes glad I watch the television show The Soup, so I can be vaguely aware of things that are happening in the culture that I manage to avoid. Rich people who are famous for being famous, pop singers who no-one will remember a few years from now, & of course the "stars" of "reality" television. One of whom said something offensive recently. Which didn't offend me because I don't know who that person is & I don't think someone who's famous for being in a reality TV show has an opinion that I care to know.
The other thing I saw people upset about had something to do with musicians being inducted into some rock & roll awards thing. I am always a little amused that otherwise sensible people pay attention to that - like the Grammys & other music awards shows, it's never really about how good or important the music is but how much money it has made the parasites in the music industry (I'm sorry, I meant "executives"). The music world suffers for that - commercial radio accounts for less than 1% of 1% of the music being made in the world, & so they naturally can't focus on the quality of music made. It's all about moolah.
Christmas is, too, but like with popular culture, I don't generally participate. Except with my Christmas show. Which I need to go work on bye!
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
Trans Atlantic Anti-Galactic Power Chord Squadron XTT (Captured In Action)
Meeting room site undisclosed: somehow we missed the instructions and have landed instead over there.
That's Mitch, he insists on being called a quadroon instead of squadron leader and so far no one has corrected him because he's also scary.
No one brought enough ice cream for everyone and I know I will be left out.
This implant will enable you to transmit your coordinates whether or not you're conscious and I don't care if you're 'anti-vax' we're fucking putting it in your neck.
No cell reception out here; we need a better satellite.
Brian wants to make first contact and he imagines it will be all sort of awkward, like bumping into a beautiful woman at a party, relying upon charm to save the situation.
Injury du jour: torn rotator cuff.
Motherfucker thinks he's funny, he keep saying "brought to you by" and then some dumbass made-up company like "sticky's licorice" or "cream's corn dogs."
How did they know there was an invasion I mean we can barely figure out whether some rock the size of Manhattan is about to hit us and you're talking about an other-worldly alien invasion.
Computer says "holes in dimensional fabric spotted over Albuquerque," prompting at least half the squad to make Bugs Bunny jokes.
Teeth are grit - gritted - gret? - what's the past tense of "to grit"?
Invaders burst into our reality, then fall from the sky in the shape of teardrops, evaporating before hitting the ground.
"No one was expecting that," Mitch says, "it's a bit of a let-down."
Instant congressional hearing - those toys cost the taxpayers a lot of money!
Mitch pats his back & tells him, "You would've kicked their asses - if they had had asses."
That's Mitch, he insists on being called a quadroon instead of squadron leader and so far no one has corrected him because he's also scary.
No one brought enough ice cream for everyone and I know I will be left out.
This implant will enable you to transmit your coordinates whether or not you're conscious and I don't care if you're 'anti-vax' we're fucking putting it in your neck.
No cell reception out here; we need a better satellite.
Brian wants to make first contact and he imagines it will be all sort of awkward, like bumping into a beautiful woman at a party, relying upon charm to save the situation.
Injury du jour: torn rotator cuff.
Motherfucker thinks he's funny, he keep saying "brought to you by" and then some dumbass made-up company like "sticky's licorice" or "cream's corn dogs."
How did they know there was an invasion I mean we can barely figure out whether some rock the size of Manhattan is about to hit us and you're talking about an other-worldly alien invasion.
Computer says "holes in dimensional fabric spotted over Albuquerque," prompting at least half the squad to make Bugs Bunny jokes.
Teeth are grit - gritted - gret? - what's the past tense of "to grit"?
Invaders burst into our reality, then fall from the sky in the shape of teardrops, evaporating before hitting the ground.
"No one was expecting that," Mitch says, "it's a bit of a let-down."
Instant congressional hearing - those toys cost the taxpayers a lot of money!
Mitch pats his back & tells him, "You would've kicked their asses - if they had had asses."
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
Self Help Radio 121313: Gary's Favorite Music Of 2013
The entire show + an hour more (I am terrible at whittling down lists) at Self Help Radio website. Or go directly to part one or part two or part three, & look below, I saw what's in each part.
Make your own radio show & share what your favorites are!
(part one)
"Bad Skin" Hunx & His Punx _Street Punk_
"Keep Exhaling" Wire _Change Becomes Us_
"True Vulture" Nobunny _Secret Songs: Reflections From The Ear Mirror_
"They're Feeding" Terry Malts _Nobody Realizes This Is Nowhere_
"Boys To Men" Bent Shapes _Feels Weird_
"Amorator!" The Fall _The Remainderer_
"Awake" Iceage _You're Nothing_
"Girls Like Us" Julie Ruin _Run Fast_
"No Tic, All Tac" Tullycraft _Lost In Light Rotation_
"Into Blue" Frankie Rose _Herein Wild_
"Hot Sour Salty Sweet" The Dirtbombs _Ooey Gooey Chewy Ka-Blooey!_
"Karaoke" Spectrals _Sob Story_
"Date It" Golden Grrrls _Golden Grrrls_
"Meditations" Holograms _Forever_
"Pretend To Be Brave" Boat _Pretend To Be Brave_
"Tripwire" Elvis Costello & The Roots _Wise Up Ghost & Other Songs_
"Parallel" MomusMcClymont _MomusMcClynont_
(part two)
"Check My Heart" The Pastels _Slow Summits_
"Is That Enough" Yo La Tengo _Fade_
"Age Of Victoria" The Secret History _Americans Singing In The Dark_
"Living, Loving, Partygoing" Future Bible Heroes _Partygoing_
"Just To Be Like You" Ski Lodge _Big Heart_
"A Sex Maybe" Mike Birbiglia _My Girlfriend's Boyfriend_
"Q&A: Advice For The Audience" Eugene Mirman _An Evening Of Comedy In A Fake, Underground Laboratory_
"Signal 30" Public Service Broadcasting _Inform - Educate - Entertain_
"Boo Hoo" Dot Wiggin Band _Ready! Get! Go!_
"Delicate Cycle" The Uncluded _Hokey Fright_
"Canned Tomatoes (Whole)" Courtney Barnett _The Double EP: A Sea Of Split Peas_
"When He Tells Me" Colleen Green _Sock It To Me_
"Wind-Up" Pity Sex _Feast of Love_
(part three)
"Mermaids" Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds _Push The Sky Away_
"Hypnotic Regression" Girls Names _The New Life_
"Sound Of A Void" Wax Idols _Discipline & Desire_
"Cri Du Coeur" Camera Obscura _Desire Lines_
"Marbled Birds" The Mantles _Long Enough To Leave_
"Better Luck Next Time" King Khan & The Shrines _Idle No More_
"Love Isn't A Right" Momus _Bambi_
"No One Knows Nothing Anymore" Billy Bragg _Tooth & Nail_
"Graveyard" Joanna Gruesome _Weird Sister_
"Suicide Pact" Tochigi _Tochigi_
"Ark Of Life" Minks _Tides End_
"Perfect World" The Proctors _Everlasting Light_
"Canteen" Superhumanoids _Exhibitionists_
"Musicians Are Scum" Pere Ubu _Lady from Shanghai_
"Paul's Not Home" Gibby Haynes _Paul's Not Home_
"Job" Iggy & The Stooges _Ready To Die_
"You Are A Lion, I Am A Lamb" Ex Cops _True Hallucinations_
"Borrowed Time" Parquet Courts _Light Up Gold_
"Sir William Wray" The Fall _Re-Mit_
Friday, December 13, 2013
Whither Gary's Favorite Music 2013
Every year, the same old thing. I sometimes think I should do this like a list or a countdown - but that's so hard to do. Until I time myself - I must've listened to this record one hundred times but it seems I only listened to it ninety-three times! - I'll never know how to numerically represent my favorites. I do know (like I talked about yesterday) you're not going to hear the things every seems to agree were the BEST of 2013. I don't even agree with something as democratic (but with metalheads over-representing) as rate your music dot com, which has Sigur Ros, Peter Brotzmann, & Boards of Canada in the top three slots. & even though I really haven't listened to any of those, I think it's safe to say those are better than Kanye West, Miley Cyrus, & Vampire Weekend, who are all supported by giant corporations who give critics all the copies they want, plus other swag, for free. No wonder they end up on year-end lists!
I'm too cynical. Listen to me say night things about bands I love tonight from ten p.m. to midnight on 88.1 fm in Lexington & online at wrfl dot fm. I found so much music that I loved that I might add more to the show when I finally put it up at the Self Help Radio website.
I'm too cynical. Listen to me say night things about bands I love tonight from ten p.m. to midnight on 88.1 fm in Lexington & online at wrfl dot fm. I found so much music that I loved that I might add more to the show when I finally put it up at the Self Help Radio website.
Thursday, December 12, 2013
Preface To Gary's Favorite's 2013: Other People Know Better
I can only conclude, after a short sampling of "best of" lists, that I am really almost completely out of touch with what people think is "good." Did I say "people"? I meant "critics."
The Rolling Stone list actually has two or three records I liked (out of maybe six I actually listened to), but - this is the bizarre thing - they include classic-rock-types (like Paul McCartney & David Bowie) as well as hip hop & country & pop. Is it me or should these not even be in competition? Are there radio stations (besides non-commercial ones) who'll play Keith Urban & Nine Inch Nails back-to-back? You get the impression they're trying to appeal to a wider audience somehow…
The Bowie record, which is on their list, isn't bad; it's just dull. Bowie fans want to like it, which probably also explains the Paul McCartney placement. Vampire Weekend's new one is number one on the Rolling Stone list, which is weird, because everyone at RFL who played claimed to hate it. My feeling is, it'll be forgotten in several years - like, I'm afraid, most of the things of this list. Right now, though, I get the impression they're there because they made some important people a lot of money.
NPR's list forgoes the "best of" (they got that from me) & also includes electronica & jazz. The question again is: why not have different lists? Surely there's someone out there who thinks a particular metal CD is better than something like Blood Orange! Why make those dudes (& you know they're all dudes) feel even more excluded than they already feel?
Pitchfork says "best" but the title is actually "highest-rated." Does anyone read Pitchfork anymore? Since when?
Spin has a lot more hip hop than the others. Is that now who buys Spin? White guys who like hip hop?
It's not strange to me that nothing I like makes the top 25 or whatever any more. I have never had my finger on the pulse of what people like. Well, maybe when I listened to commercial radio, some time before 1989 or so. Even then, I was liking bands that now seem popular - Cure, Smiths, etc. - but then were "weird" or "obscure." The first time I played the Smiths in a car with one of my classic-rock-raised brothers, he thought it was a joke. Like something off of Dr. Demento.
All of which means nothing - opinion is opinion. If you like to have your opinions backed up by magazines & websites, then you can see if they agree with you. But the term "best" - it doesn't make any sense this early on. My own opinion is that a lot of these records will, in a decade or so, be completely forgotten.
The Rolling Stone list actually has two or three records I liked (out of maybe six I actually listened to), but - this is the bizarre thing - they include classic-rock-types (like Paul McCartney & David Bowie) as well as hip hop & country & pop. Is it me or should these not even be in competition? Are there radio stations (besides non-commercial ones) who'll play Keith Urban & Nine Inch Nails back-to-back? You get the impression they're trying to appeal to a wider audience somehow…
The Bowie record, which is on their list, isn't bad; it's just dull. Bowie fans want to like it, which probably also explains the Paul McCartney placement. Vampire Weekend's new one is number one on the Rolling Stone list, which is weird, because everyone at RFL who played claimed to hate it. My feeling is, it'll be forgotten in several years - like, I'm afraid, most of the things of this list. Right now, though, I get the impression they're there because they made some important people a lot of money.
NPR's list forgoes the "best of" (they got that from me) & also includes electronica & jazz. The question again is: why not have different lists? Surely there's someone out there who thinks a particular metal CD is better than something like Blood Orange! Why make those dudes (& you know they're all dudes) feel even more excluded than they already feel?
Pitchfork says "best" but the title is actually "highest-rated." Does anyone read Pitchfork anymore? Since when?
Spin has a lot more hip hop than the others. Is that now who buys Spin? White guys who like hip hop?
It's not strange to me that nothing I like makes the top 25 or whatever any more. I have never had my finger on the pulse of what people like. Well, maybe when I listened to commercial radio, some time before 1989 or so. Even then, I was liking bands that now seem popular - Cure, Smiths, etc. - but then were "weird" or "obscure." The first time I played the Smiths in a car with one of my classic-rock-raised brothers, he thought it was a joke. Like something off of Dr. Demento.
All of which means nothing - opinion is opinion. If you like to have your opinions backed up by magazines & websites, then you can see if they agree with you. But the term "best" - it doesn't make any sense this early on. My own opinion is that a lot of these records will, in a decade or so, be completely forgotten.
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
Today's Figure Of Speech: Bdelygmia
Spellcheck don't know this word: bdelgymia. & why should it? It's a heartless, unthinking, unfeeling, crappily compiled, moronically written, basic to the point of stupid piece of code in the middle of an unsatisfying, poorly-designed, horribly executed so-called What You See Is the Worst You Get content management system.
Not really. I was just employing the bdelgymia. It basically means a litany of abuse, sort of like what Michael Palin gets when he accidentally walks into the Abuse room while looking for the Argument room. Graham Chapman describes him as a "vacuous, toffee-nosed, malodorous pervert!"
This page has a lot more examples.
I don't really know how to pronounce it, though.
Not really. I was just employing the bdelgymia. It basically means a litany of abuse, sort of like what Michael Palin gets when he accidentally walks into the Abuse room while looking for the Argument room. Graham Chapman describes him as a "vacuous, toffee-nosed, malodorous pervert!"
This page has a lot more examples.
I don't really know how to pronounce it, though.
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Self Help Radio 120613: A Touch Of Velvet
Beginning a new tradition: radio shows about fabrics! I can't wait for some enterprising deejay to do one about gingham!
Show is at web site. Or it's in two parts, called part one & then part two. List of songs below.
So lustrous!
(part one)
"Velvet" PBNJ Buchanan _Velvet Blue_
"Soft Velvety 'Fer" MC Honky _I Am The Messiah_
"Velvet Pants" Propellorheads _Decksanddrumsandrockandroll_
"The Velvet Glove" Jerry Colonna _The Velvet Glove_
"A Touch Of Velvet, A Sting Of Brass" Mood Mosaic _The Swingin' Sixties_
"Velvet Illusions" Velvet Illusions _Pebbles, Vol. 9: Southern California 2_
"Velvet Sunsets" The Music Emporium _The Music Emporium_
"Velvet Cave" Silver Apples _Silver Apples_
"Velvet Goldmine" David Bowie _The Rise & Fall Of Ziggy Stardust & The Spiders From Mars_
"Some Velvet Morning" Lydia Lunch & Roland S. Howard _Some Velvet Morning_
"Velvet Launderette" Poison Girls _Statement: The Complete Recordings_
"Black Velvet" Swell Maps _Train Out Of It_
"Black Velvet" The Lilac Time _The Lilac Time_
"Velvet Days" Kristin Hersh _Hips & Makers_
(part two)
"Orpheus In Red Velvet" Marc Almond _Enchanted_
"Deep Velvet" Chris & Cosey _Trust_
"Torn Green Velvet Eyes" The Magnetic Fields _Holiday_
"Deep In Velvet" Phillip Boa & Voodooclub _Boa Best Singles_
"Velvt Atmosphere" Peppermint _Keep Your Chin Up There, Sailor_
"Paint Me On Velvet" Austin Lounge Lizards _Paint Me On Velvet_
"Deadweight On Velveteen" Jose Gonzalez _Veneer_
"Another Velvet Nightmare" Frank Black _Honeycomb_
"Velvet Morning" Weird Dreams _Choreography_
"Velveteen" The Rose Of Avalanche _Indie Top 20 Vol. 1_
"Velvet Itch" Bass Drum Of Death _GB City_
Friday, December 06, 2013
Whither A Touch Of Velvet?
I promise, I had this show planned before dear old Lou Reed left us. I can't say what I had been listening to that brought me to the decision to make a radio show about a fabric - perhaps my first radio show about a fabric. (I should keep better records.)
I don't think I own anything that's velvet. Let me ask my wife. She says no. Oh well. I do like the way it feels!
The Self Help Radio show I'm calling "a touch of velvet" will be on tonight (Friday) from 10pm til midnight. On 88.1 fm WRFL in Lexington, or online at wrfl dot fm.
I will probably use the word "lustrous" a lot.
I don't think I own anything that's velvet. Let me ask my wife. She says no. Oh well. I do like the way it feels!
The Self Help Radio show I'm calling "a touch of velvet" will be on tonight (Friday) from 10pm til midnight. On 88.1 fm WRFL in Lexington, or online at wrfl dot fm.
I will probably use the word "lustrous" a lot.
Thursday, December 05, 2013
Preface To A Touch Of Velvet: RIP Nelson Mandela
As I started to write this, I learned that Nelson Mandela has died. It's hard to be serious about a dumb radio show in light of such news.
I wrote on the Facebook that he was one of my lifetime's real heroes. Like a lot of indie kids growing up in the 1980s, I learned about him from the Specials' song. I think, for me specifically, it was because Elvis Costello produced it that it found its way into my head - I was a huge Elvis fan & otherwise knew nothing about South Africa at the time. Later, of course, was the big Artists United Against Apartheid song "Sun City," which, it turns out, I'm lucky to have heard, since half of American stations wouldn't play it because it criticized Reagan.
I took a class in my last year of college, in 1991, which was about the literature of South Africa. I can't remember the professor's name - I think he was Dutch - he died some time in the 1990s - but the general feel of the apartheid literature was that it wouldn't end without a bloodbath. Or at least some violence. Thinking now about the character of Nelson Mandela, it's a wonder the requisite doubts we had were so great.
I don't have much to say - never been to South Africa, you know - maybe never will (although the wife has, & she's loved it). Just remembering the unforgettable, the greatness & humility & strength of Nelson Mandela. What a life!
I wrote on the Facebook that he was one of my lifetime's real heroes. Like a lot of indie kids growing up in the 1980s, I learned about him from the Specials' song. I think, for me specifically, it was because Elvis Costello produced it that it found its way into my head - I was a huge Elvis fan & otherwise knew nothing about South Africa at the time. Later, of course, was the big Artists United Against Apartheid song "Sun City," which, it turns out, I'm lucky to have heard, since half of American stations wouldn't play it because it criticized Reagan.
I took a class in my last year of college, in 1991, which was about the literature of South Africa. I can't remember the professor's name - I think he was Dutch - he died some time in the 1990s - but the general feel of the apartheid literature was that it wouldn't end without a bloodbath. Or at least some violence. Thinking now about the character of Nelson Mandela, it's a wonder the requisite doubts we had were so great.
I don't have much to say - never been to South Africa, you know - maybe never will (although the wife has, & she's loved it). Just remembering the unforgettable, the greatness & humility & strength of Nelson Mandela. What a life!
Wednesday, December 04, 2013
The Invention Of The Glitch
Meet Elmo Notio, the inventor of the glitch.
Before Elmo, they say, things went off without a hitch!
(Mainly because no one knew Price Robert Fitch
Who promoted, not invented, the wonderful hitch.)
So people went without, they'd moan, they'd bitch,
Some person might scratch, the other might itch.
A friend, then, to Elmo Notio did snitch:
"Do you see what happens when they throw the switch?
It's lovely! It's perfect! Why, it makes me twitch!"
"Hmmp," said young Elmo, "a dreadful sales pitch.
I'm a poor, young inventor who longs to be rich!"
But Elmo & his friend, whose name was Mitch,
Visited a local consortium, which
Advised them to find their own personal niche.
& Elmo, who felt his life was in the ditch,
Abandoned old Mitch to his despair & his twitch,
& decided he must the perfect workplace enrich.
At home he worked furiously, like a tailor on a stitch,
He cackled like crazy, high & wicked, like a witch,
Till suddenly, by accident, he invented the glitch!
In days of old, things now rare, like perfect pitch,
Were as common as nostalgia, & irony, & kitsch.
All because of Elmo Notio, & his ubiquitous glitch.
(Also, you'll know, things go off with a hitch.
No one is more happy than Price Robert Fitch.)
Glitches are everywhere, & as much as you'd wish
They failed to make poor Elmo Notio rich.
Before Elmo, they say, things went off without a hitch!
(Mainly because no one knew Price Robert Fitch
Who promoted, not invented, the wonderful hitch.)
So people went without, they'd moan, they'd bitch,
Some person might scratch, the other might itch.
A friend, then, to Elmo Notio did snitch:
"Do you see what happens when they throw the switch?
It's lovely! It's perfect! Why, it makes me twitch!"
"Hmmp," said young Elmo, "a dreadful sales pitch.
I'm a poor, young inventor who longs to be rich!"
But Elmo & his friend, whose name was Mitch,
Visited a local consortium, which
Advised them to find their own personal niche.
& Elmo, who felt his life was in the ditch,
Abandoned old Mitch to his despair & his twitch,
& decided he must the perfect workplace enrich.
At home he worked furiously, like a tailor on a stitch,
He cackled like crazy, high & wicked, like a witch,
Till suddenly, by accident, he invented the glitch!
In days of old, things now rare, like perfect pitch,
Were as common as nostalgia, & irony, & kitsch.
All because of Elmo Notio, & his ubiquitous glitch.
(Also, you'll know, things go off with a hitch.
No one is more happy than Price Robert Fitch.)
Glitches are everywhere, & as much as you'd wish
They failed to make poor Elmo Notio rich.
Tuesday, December 03, 2013
Self Help Radio 112930: Magda's Birthday Show 2013
Me: Happy birthday!
Wife: Not good enough. Radio show, please.
Me: But... I've done one for you for seven years!
Wife: More, please.
Me: I'm running out of birthday songs!
Wife: More more more, please.
Me: Oh all right.
Wife: It's my birthday! It's my birthday!
Radio show:
Or directly: part I | part II
Birthday songs: below
Any repeats? Not allowed.
Happy birthday to everyone!
(part one)
"Happy Birthday" The Luddites _Detroit Musician Alliance: Motor CD_
"(Gimme That) Lipstick" Gruppo Sportivo _10 Mistakes / Buddy Odor Is A Gas_
"Birthday Song" André Herman D¨ne _Taglich Brot_
"Born Never Asked" Laurie Anderson _Big Science_
"Birthday Girl" Frontier Ruckus _Eternity Of Dimming_
"The Birthday Girl" Nobunny _Secret Songs: Reflections From The Ear Mirror_
"Happy Birthday" Cloud Control _Dream Cave_
"Birthday" Blur _Leisure_
"The Birthday Party" Don Gillmor, Michelle Campagne, Davy Gallant, & Marie-Louise Gay _The Fabulous Song_
"Spring Break (Birthday Song)" Ex Cops _True Hallucinations_
"Birthday Song" Blaine L Reininger _Night Air_
"Today It Is My Birthday" Synthetic Socks _Today It Is My Birthday_
"The Unbirthday Song" Dennis Day _Happy Birthday To You_
"Fiddler's Birthday Party" Benny Martin _Big Daddy Of The Fiddle & Bow_
(part two)
"Happy Birthday Darlin'" Conway Twitty _Cross Winds_
"Birthday Kiss" Spectrals _Fair Ohs / Spectrals 7"_
"Birthday" Royal Canoe _Today We're Believers_
"Why Can't My Dolly Have A Birthday Party?" The Bran Flakes _Hey Won't Somebody Come & Play?_
"At The Birthday Party" Bablicon _In A Different City_
"Bad Birthday" Skip That Birthday Party _Girls Rock Camp Alliance: 2010 International Camper Band Compilation_
"Happy Birthday Ralph" Atom & His Package _Hair: Debatable_
"Fat, Dumb, & Happy Birthday" Bob Marley _Upta Camp_
"Happy Birthday" Beep Beep _Enchanted Islands_
"Birthday Fella" Marva Josie _Girls On 45: A Collection Of Girl Groups, Girlie Pop & Soulful Ladies_
"(Happy Birthday) Mr. Twenty One" The Orlons _The Wah-Watusi + South Street_
"21" The Lucksmiths _Boondoggle_
"Romans" Minks _Tides End_
"Happy Country Birthday Darling" Rodney Lay & The Wild West _Happy Country Birthday Darling_
"Happy Birthday" Ben Morris & The Great American Boxcar Chorus _There Is No Fun In Funeral_
"Birthday" Sheepdogs _Learn & Burn_
Friday, November 29, 2013
Whither Magda's Birthday Show 2013?
I am contractually obligated by a deal I made before my marriage with my wife's lawyer to celebrate my wife's birthday on the air every year on the closest date to the actual birthday date (December 1). That means that it's today.
Not very fun fact: if I am not currently doing a radio show, I am encouraged to break into a radio station, hold everyone hostage, & do a radio show for my wife. Clear Channel is still mad at me for 2008. I fled the jurisdiction.
In any event, it's been seven years that I've been doing this (which is weird, we've only been married for five) & seriously, I am running out of birthday songs. I managed to scrape a good show together this year, but I worry about next year.
I know what you're thinking - divorce her. But no, I'd have to continue doing it. It's in the pre-nup.
But it's good for anyone who has a birthday - that might be you! Do listen, from 10 to midnight on 88.1 fm WRFL in Lexington, or online at the WRFL website. & if I don't mention it again - happy birthday to you!
Not very fun fact: if I am not currently doing a radio show, I am encouraged to break into a radio station, hold everyone hostage, & do a radio show for my wife. Clear Channel is still mad at me for 2008. I fled the jurisdiction.
In any event, it's been seven years that I've been doing this (which is weird, we've only been married for five) & seriously, I am running out of birthday songs. I managed to scrape a good show together this year, but I worry about next year.
I know what you're thinking - divorce her. But no, I'd have to continue doing it. It's in the pre-nup.
But it's good for anyone who has a birthday - that might be you! Do listen, from 10 to midnight on 88.1 fm WRFL in Lexington, or online at the WRFL website. & if I don't mention it again - happy birthday to you!
Thursday, November 28, 2013
Preface To Magda's Birthday Show 2013: What Else Is Going On?
I have a typically secular problem with a holiday like Thanksgiving, because I don't have an invisible friend to give thanks to. Though I am generally very polite & thank people for things that I probably don't have to thank them for.
Which reminds me, I am kind of annoyed when people who work in the service industry, when I say, "Thank you," respond with, "You're welcome." I know that's the correct response, but it feels a little smug & self-serving. When I used to work at our convenience store, I would reply, "Thank you!" because I really did want to thank them for being there. After all, they were being polite, but they didn't have to thank me for doing my job. (Many folks didn't.)
I don't think I say "You're welcome" all that much, anyway. I prefer to say, "No problem." I like that the accepted response in both Spanish ("de nada") & French ("c'est rien") is basically the same - "It's nothing." I will say that more often. "Thank you." "Oh, it's nothing!"
Humility trumps self-satisfaction every day. He said smugly.
Anyway, I'm doing two radio shows today. One is free-form (2 to 4pm); the other is me subbing Dave C's show "The Belfry" (4 to 6pm), which I generally enjoy doing. I am going to play (what I consider) obscure psychedelic music from 1968. It will make three 1968 shows I have done so far. Which is of course the year I was born. Boom! I made it about birthdays even when it really wasn't!
Maybe you'll listen? Maybe I'll just put it on my website this weekend. We'll see.
Which reminds me, I am kind of annoyed when people who work in the service industry, when I say, "Thank you," respond with, "You're welcome." I know that's the correct response, but it feels a little smug & self-serving. When I used to work at our convenience store, I would reply, "Thank you!" because I really did want to thank them for being there. After all, they were being polite, but they didn't have to thank me for doing my job. (Many folks didn't.)
I don't think I say "You're welcome" all that much, anyway. I prefer to say, "No problem." I like that the accepted response in both Spanish ("de nada") & French ("c'est rien") is basically the same - "It's nothing." I will say that more often. "Thank you." "Oh, it's nothing!"
Humility trumps self-satisfaction every day. He said smugly.
Anyway, I'm doing two radio shows today. One is free-form (2 to 4pm); the other is me subbing Dave C's show "The Belfry" (4 to 6pm), which I generally enjoy doing. I am going to play (what I consider) obscure psychedelic music from 1968. It will make three 1968 shows I have done so far. Which is of course the year I was born. Boom! I made it about birthdays even when it really wasn't!
Maybe you'll listen? Maybe I'll just put it on my website this weekend. We'll see.
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Thanksgiving Holiday Ha Ha
This week is going to be tough for me, because I am subbing three shows - one today, & two tomorrow - & still need to prepare this week's Self Help Radio, which is about birthdays, because I like to celebrate birthdays on the birthday of my favorite human, whose name is Magda.
Here's Patton Oswalt's birthday bit, which I played a couple or three years ago on the show, but here it's uncensored:
Here's Patton Oswalt's birthday bit, which I played a couple or three years ago on the show, but here it's uncensored:
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Self Help Radio 112213: The Blame Game
Nothing is my fault! I'm blameless!
Show: Self Help Radio website
Direct links: part one | part two
Blameworthy playlist: below
It's not my fault if you listened!
(part one)
"Blame It On The Blues" Ma Rainey _Fattenin' Frogs For Snakes: The Essential Recordings Of The Blues Ladies_
"Sin Is To Blame" Rev DC Rice _Complete Recorded Works In Chronological Order (1928-1930)_
"Sin Is To Blame" Sister Rosetta Tharpe _The Original Soul Sister: Rock Me (1941-43)_
"It's The Girl Who Gets The Blame" The Davis Sisters _The Davis Sisters 1952-53, Vol. 1_
"Blame The Condition" King Pleasure _Moody's Mood For Love_
"Don't Blame Me" Monuments _Just For Kicks Vol. 1_
"You Can't Blame That On Me" The Fugitives _Scream Loud!!! The Fenton Story Rock_
"Got The Blame" The Worrying Kynde _Freakbeat Freakout_
"You Can't Blame Me" Johnson, Hawkins, Tatum, & Durr _Eccentric Soul: The Capsoul Label_
"I Don't Blame You At All" Smokey Robinson & The Miracles _The Complete Motown Singles, Vol 11A: 1971_
"Don't Blame On I" The Congos _Lee Scratch Perry: Arkology_
(part two)
"Put The Blame On Me" Eurthymics _Savages_
"Blame The Weather" XTC _Rag 'N' Bone Buffet_
"Blame" The Chesterf!elds _Crocodile Tears_
"I Don't Blame You" The Groove Farm _Plug (The Story Of Pop So Far)_
"Interesting Drug" Morrissey _Bona Drag_
"Blame Love" Boy Genius _Staggering_
"Blame Mary Jane" Lloyd Cole _Cleaning Out The Ashtrays (Collected B-Sides & Rarities 1989-2006)_
"The Blame" The Glee Club _Mine_
"Blame It On Yourself" Ivy _Long Distance_
"I Blame You" Michael Shelley _I Blame You_