Self Help Radio 053014: Afternoon

An afternoon show in the morning?!?  Who greenlights this nonsense?

Oh, I suppose, if you must listen to it, you can, now, at the Self Help Radio web presence.  If you can't bear to go there, you can access the show directly by clicking part I or part II.  In addition to the songs listed below, you'll get to hear a song sung over the phone by Tania Rivas, interviews with poet David Fruchter & spiritual guru Howard Gently, & a surprise visit by Werful, the WRFL monster.  It may take all afternoon to digest it all.

Have a great afternoon!

(part one)

"Afternoon" Jonathan Richman & The Modern Lovers _Rock 'n' Roll With The Modern Lovers_
"The Afternoon" The Apples In Stereo _The Discovery Of A World Inside The Moone_
"All Day Afternoon" The Judybats _Pain Makes You Beautiful_

"Good Afternoon" Honey Smugglers _Besides Which EP_
"In The Afternoon" Revolving Paint Dream _Creation Soup, Vol. 1_
"In The Late Afternoon" The American Revolution _The American Revolution_
"Sunny Afternoon" The Kinks _Face To Face_

"Sunday Afternoons" Cleaners From Venus _Golden Cleaners_
"Sunday Afternoon In Belgrave Square" Trevor Billmuss _Fading Yellow, Vol. 8_
"Any Day's A Sunday Afternoon" The Collage _The Collage_
"Lazy Sunday Afternoon" Toy Dolls _Cheerio & Toodlepip!_

"My Favourite Wet Wednesday Afternoon" The Siddeleys _Slum Clearance_

(part two)

"Afternoon In Bed" The Bats _Thousands Of Tiny Luminous Spheres_
"Perfect Afternoon" The Softies _It's Love_
"The Opposite Of Afternoon" Unknown Mortal Orchestra _II_

"Gestern Nachmittag" Helen Shapiro _Immer Die Boys_
"Bugles In The Afternoon" Lee Hazlewood _The Very Special World Of Lee Hazlewood_
"Heaven In The Afternoon" Belle & Sebastian _The Third Eye Centre_
"Autumn Afternoon" Acid House Kings _Pop, Look & Listen!_

"Cloudy Summer Afternoon" Bill & Boyd _Cloudy Sunny Afternoon_
"Rainy Afternoon" Mrs. Kipling _Change_
"It Rained On Monday Afternoon" The Hit Parade _With Love From The Hit Parade_
"English Afternoon" Bob Lind _You Might Have Heard My Footsteps: The Best Of Bob Lind_

"Two In The Afternoon" Dino, Desi, & Billy _The Complete Singles_
"Afternoon Glare" The Storybook People _Do You Believe (1394)_
"Mid-Winter's Afternoon" Liberation News Service _A Deadly Dose Of Wylde Psych_

Whither Afternoon?

As I write this, the afternoon is four hours old, & it's been a warm, lovely day.  It rained a little as we drove to Louisville to visit the vet that looked at our little beagle, Winston, & the news was cautiously good.  We listened to the 500th episode of Marc Maron's WTF Podcast, & it's one of those things that the wife & I often stop at different points to talk about.  He certainly puts himself out there in a way that I can't ever imagine doing.

The clouds burnt away & it was sunny when we got home, but the wife & I decided to nap away the afternoon, since we had to wake up early & drive an hour away, but also because we're fans of naps.  Now I'm awake, &, since I live next-door to a daycare, I can hear children playing as well as the whirr of ceiling fans in the house, & around me the animals in my life are sleeping until they decide they need to go out, or bug me for food, or demand love from me.  Meanwhile, I'm wasting the afternoon putting my show together.

My wife is one the phone in the bedroom with a colleague, & I just heard her say, "In the afternoon…" in reference to a meeting.

Unfortunately, Self Help Radio's show about the afternoon will air in the morning, from 7 to 9am tomorrow (Friday) on 88.1 fm WRFL in Lexington.  (Or online if you click that link there.)  If you're not up until the afternoon, never fear!  I'll have it up sometime around noon - or the afternoon at the latest.

I couldn't do otherwise.

Preface To Afternoon: Mindset

I might have mentioned - I did mention - that I was going to visit my mother this weekend in Dallas, so I handed the show off to my pal Daryl who was going to show everyone how terrible I do my own radio show.  In fact, as I write this, I was supposed to be on the road, perhaps even arriving in Memphis, where we were going to have yummy Ethiopian food.  Instead, I am making dinner for the wife & trying to catch up on songs I usually would've spent the weekend listening to.

What happened is our little pooch, Winston, got ill.  We've been watching him very closely & will be taking him tomorrow to a specialist in Louisville.  I think he'll be fine - he's been getting progressively better - but there's a better-safe-that-sorry attitude that one should have with beings that can't ever tell you exactly what's ailing them, that encourages me to visit a vet who'll understand his signs much better than I ever will.

It has meant, however, that I haven't really had the proper mindset for working on a radio show.  Which can be puzzling - I knew we weren't leaving on Sunday.  & yet - I've been working on the show off & on since then & I still haven't gotten much done.  I'll probably be working on it into the evening on Thursday.

Which reminds me - how long have I been doing this?  It's twelve years this August!  It's the closest thing to a regular job I have - & I still don't have much of a process for it?  What the hell?

There are a lot of good "afternoon" songs, though.  I will have a tough time picking which ones to play.

Woke Up Early One Morning Blues, Episode Two

Blind Willie Johnson

Last Friday, before Self Help Radio, I produced another hour of my country blues program, Woke Up Early One Morning Blues.  This hour focused on early gospel & religious-themed recordings.

The show is now available for your listening pleasure (scratchy, hissy, old bakelite vinyl-y) at the Self Help Radio website.  I hope you enjoy.  What I played is below.

"Woke Up This Morning With My Mind On Jesus" Blind Roosevelt Graves & Brother _The Rough Guide To Gospel Blues Legends_
"John The Revelator" Blind Willie Johhnson _Anthology Of American Folk Music_
"God Give Me A Light" Louisville Sanctified Singers _Gospel Classics_

"I'm Gonna Cross The River Of Jordan Some O' These Days" Jaybird Coleman _Ten Years Of Black Country Religion 1926-1936_
"God Don't Like It" Blind Willie & Kate McTell _Complete Recorded Works, Vol. 3 (1933-1935)_
"Shall We Gather At The River" Uncle Dave Macon & His Fruit Jar Drinkers _The Half Ain't Never Been Told, Vol. 1_
"Shout All Over God's Heaven" Fisk Jubilee Singers _Folk Song America: A 20th Century Revival_
"Paul & Silas In Jail" Washington Phillips _I Am Born To Preach The Gospel_

"I'll Lead A Christian Life" Golden P. Harris _Before The Blues, Vol. 2: The Early American Black Music Scene_
"Noah & The Flood" Norman Haskins _Deep River Of Song: Virginia & The Piedmont - Minstrelsy, Work Songs, & Blues (1934-1942)_
"Heaven Is My View" Bo Weavil Jackson _Backwoods Blues (1926-1935)_
"Sinner You'll Need King Jesus" William & Versey Smith _The Songster Tradition Complete Works (1927-1935)_
"River Of Jordan" The Carter Family _Wildwood Flower_

"Hard Times" Elder Curry & His Congregation _Hard Times Come Again No More, Vol. 1_
"Lamb's Blood Has Washed Me Clean" Arizona Dranes _Arizona Dranes (1926-1929)_
"Lover Of The Lord" Huggins & Phillips Sacred Harp Singers _Goodbye, Babylon_

Happy Memorial Day!

Remember when I said that I'd be off this week because I was going to visit the Mother in Dallas?

Well, plans change.  One of our hounds has been under the weather.

So - a new Self Help Radio & a new Woke Up Early One Morning Blues this Friday!

Now - back to snoozing.

Self Help Radio 052314: Walls

Walls went up today on Self Help Radio!  Walls were breached!  Walls were erected & walls came tumbling down!  It was a whole lot of work for some rightly pissed-off bricklayers.  I'm surprised I didn't get a mouthful of mortar!

You can now feel cooped up between four walls by listening to the show at Self Help Radio web central.  There are direct links, too, if you can't be bothered to click a couple more times: part I | part II.  The songs I played are below.

Have a happy Memorial Day weekend!

(part one)

"Walls" Flowers _Icehouse_
"Walls" Red Letter Day _Table & Chairs_
"Walls" Shout Out Louds _Work_

"At Home With The Walls" The Passmore Sisters _Violent Blue_
"Tear Down The Walls" Fred Neil & Vince Martin _Tear Down The Walls_
"Break Down The Walls" Mikey Dread _Beyond World War III_
"Green Walls" Toy Love _Cuts_

"Yellow Walls" Jackson C. Frank _Blues Run The Game_
"I'm In Love With My Walls" Birdland With Lester Bangs _Birdland With Lester Bangs_
"Ideas For Walls" Men Without Hats _Rhythm Of Youth_
"Round These Walls" The Tokey Tones (& Friends) _Stroke: Songs For Chris Knox_

"Hello Walls" Faron Young _Essential Hits_
"(Empty Walls) A Lonely Room" Bob Luman _Livin', Lovin' Sounds_

(part two)

"Four Walls" Jim Reeves _He'll Have To Go & Other Hits_
"Hello Walls # 2" Ben Colder _The Best Of Ben Colder_
"I'm Gonna Paper All My Walls With Your Love Letters" Dean Martin _The Capitol Years_

"Singing Rule Brittania (While The Walls Close In)" The Chameleons _What Does Anything Mean? Basically_
"Walls Come Tumbling Down!" The Style Council _Our Favourite Shop_
"Breakin' Down The Walls Of Heartache" The Bandwagon _The Northern Soul Story, Vol. 2_
"Poison In The Walls" The Go-Betweens _Bright Orange Bright Yellow_

"Walking Into Walls" Honeybunch _Time Trials: 1987-1995_
"Cathedral Walls" Big Red Bus _The Sound Of Leamington Spa, Vol. 1_
"White Walls, Quiet Halls" The Mabels _The Closest People_
"The Concrete & The Walls" Elf Power _Elf Power_

"TVs & Walls" Moped _The Horrible Truth About Moped_
"Tear Down These Walls" 1919 _The Complete Collection_

Whither Walls?

How many walls must I have about me, that I think to do a radio show about walls?  Walls from my awful adolescence, walls to protect & walls to defend, walls to obscure & walls to confuse.  What walls have been built that I haven't even been aware of, but exist nonetheless.  My therapist's children's children will go to college thanks to me!

Well, I'm not sure how we'll examine walls on tomorrow's show, just sure of there being fine music like you expect from Self Help Radio, plus wackiness mixed with tedium.  Equals same old thing.

What?  I'm not good at selling my show!  My therapist tells me it's a defense mechanism.

Tomorrow morning from 7 to 9am on 88.1 fm in Lexington, & online everywhere at wrfl dot fm.  I'll put the show online afterwards.

Oh, & remember!  A new episode of Woke Up Early One Morning Blues at 6am!

Preface To Walls: Ceilings & Floors

I googled this: "How is a wall different than a floor or a ceiling?"  All the responses involved doing similar things (like soundproofing) to all three parts, rather than even venturing a guess at the differences between the three.

This is intolerable.

Imagine, if you will, a world in which everything is turned on its side.  In such a world, two of our walls would become the floor & the ceiling, while the floor & the ceiling would unceremoniously become walls.

How would each part adjust to its new circumstance?  I can think of a few troubling scenarios.

First of all, doors, which are commonly found mostly in walls, would be a little useless if now on the floor (unless there's a basement).  Were doors to end up on the ceiling, well, it would make answering the door even more of a chore than it currently is.

Furthermore, cellar doors or trap doors, or even skylights, will probably make poor door choices for the new world which is on its side.

Here's another thing: plumbing.  I don't know much about plumbing but it does seem to me that the pipes that I assume are what people talk about when they talk about plumbing would not increase one's property value should they be sticking boldly out of the side of the house rather than into the ground where they (again, I am assuming this) connect in a fascinating way to the sewer.

& I bet you've thought of this one: in larger buildings, which is to say those with many floors, or "stories," the walls when the building is on its side will be much, much larger than the ceiling & floor.  This would cause places where building grew up instead of out because of space restrictions to become completely clogged, with no room for bike lanes or promenades or any of the things that make city life worth tackling.

I am no architect nor private detective so I can't begin to truly understand the severe differences between floors, ceilings, & walls, & it bothers me like bug bite that someone with more know-how hasn't tackled this issue before.

It's your time, young genius!  Do it quickly, though - one never knows when the world will be turned on its side!

Woke Up Early One Morning Blues, Episode One

Bessie Smith, Empress Of The Blues

As I keep mentioning because I don't really believe anyone listens to me (thanks Mom!), I am doing a show this summer called Woke Up Early One Morning Blues.  It's a pre-war blues show, focusing on the country blues but, because the genre hadn't really been defined yet, it's something of a free-for-all genre wise.  Or it can be.

This past week's show is available for listening if you're interested at SHR web central.  I hope it's nice to hear.  Here's what was heard to those who were there to hear:

"Crazy Blues" Mamie Smith _Mamie Smith Vol. 1 (1920-1921)_
"Arkansas Blues" Lucille Hegamin _Lucille Hegamin Vol. 1 (1920-1922)_
"Give Me That Old Slow Drag" Trixie Smith _Trixie Smith Vol. 1 (1922-1924)_

"'Tain't Nobody's Bizness If I Do" Bessie Smith _The Complete Recordings, Vol. 1_
"Bo-Weavil Blues" Ma Rainey _Mother Of The Blues_
"Shake That Thing" Papa Charlie Jackson _Papa Charlie Jackson Vol. 1 (1924 - 1926)_
"Black Snake Blues" Victoria Spivey _Fattenin' Frogs For Snakes: The Essential Recordings Of The Blues Ladies_
"Black Snake Moan" Blind Lemon Jefferson _The Rough Guide To Blind Lemon Jefferson_

"Singin' The Blues" Frankie Trumbauer & His Orchestra _Ken Burns Jazz_
"Georgia On My Mind" Mildred Bailey _The Early Years_
"Stack O'Lee" Mississippi John Hurt _Avalon Blues: The 1928 Sessions_
"I'm So Glad" Skip James _Complete Early Recordings Of 1930_
"Last Kind Words Blues" Geeshie Wiley _American Primitive: Pre-War Revenants 1897-1939, Vol. 2_

"Bull Cow Blues" Big Bill Broonzy _Essential Blues Friends_
"Milk Cow Blues" Kokomo Arnold _Milk Cow Blues_
"Strut That Thing" Cripple Clarence Lofton _Broke, Black & Blue, Vol. 3: Good Whiskey Blues

Sorry, Another Wasted Day

I don't know how I lose days like today.  Today was all about the pets - a sick pup & a sick kitten.  I didn't even shower today, that's how disgusting I am.

Tomorrow, tomorrow I'll try to be more on the ball.  Here's something I found on the internets to amuse you:

Self Help Radio 051614: Push

Don't push the panic button!  No one got hurt as Self Help Radio returned to RFL Mornings!  Or are you trying to push my buttons?  A show in which I interview not only the "push button king of the American Southwest" but also spiritual guru Howard Gently can't be all bad.  Plus, our old friend Pushy stops by!

You can listen now at Self Help Radio Web Site Place.  Or, should you not want to wait for the one graphic on that page to load (who has the time?), you can listen directly, I've made it easy for you: part one is here, part two is here.  What songs did I play?  They're listed below.

As always, thanks for listening!

(part one)

"The Push" Silhouettes _Complete Package_
"Push (live)" The Woggles _Flaming Burn Out! An Estrus Benefit Comp_
"Push" The Chills _Brave Words_
"Push" The Cure _The Head On The Door_

"Push" Liquid Liquid _Liquid Liquid_
"Push" Black Ice _I Judge The Funk_
"Push" One Way _Love Is... One Way_
"Push" Red Lorry Yellow Lorry _Talk About The Weather_

"Push De Button" Lena Horne _The Lady & Her Music: Live On Broadway_
"Push A Little Button" Ninette Hartley _Push A Little Button_
"Push Button Geoff" Miss Ludella Black & The Masonics _From This Witness Stand_
"Pushing Buttons" The Mendoza Line _I Like You When You're Not Around_

"Push Push" Austin Taylor _Teenage Crush, Vol. 5_

(part two)

"Push Push" Rumbles Ltd. _Push Push_
"Push Push" Lloyd & Devon _Studio One Disco Mix_
"Push Push" Brick _Waiting On You_

"Push It" Salt-N-Pepa _Hot, Cool & Vicious_
"Do The Push & Pull (Part 1)" Rufus Thomas _The Very Best Of Rufus Thomas_
"Keep On Pushing" The Impressions _The Very Best Of The Impressions_
"Pushin' Too Hard (Rehearsal)" Seeds _Travel With Your Mind_

"Push A Little Harder" The Avons _Push A Little Harder_
"You Gotta Push" Jody Gayles _Soul Diva Sessions_
"You Just Can't Push Me (demo)" The Cars _The Cars_
"Push & Shove" Cud _When In Rome Kill Me_

"Pushover" Bearsuit _Pushover_
"Pushover" Etta James _Queen Of Soul_

Whither Push?

I can't often trace the inception of a show idea - I create a folder on my desktop with a theme, & start sticking songs & ideas into it.  But I know where this show idea came from.

It happened a while back - when I was subbing a show on WRFL, probably last year.  Now, I know you're thinking, "Hey, didn't you say you knew where this show idea came from?  It was in the previous sentence!"

Well, all right, I know where it came from, just not when.  All right?  Sheesh.

So - where was I?  Oh yeah.  Late night sub.  Someone called.  They said, "Can you play 'Push It' by Salt-N-Pepa?"  I said what I always say - oh, & I mean it seriously - I say, "I'll play it if I can find it!"

I didn't find it.  Luckily, most people don't call back & yell at me when I can't find their requests.  But when I got home, I was looking through my CDs & there it was - not at the radio station - "Hot, Cool & Vicious."  So I said to myself, "Hey, I should do a show where I can plat 'Push It'!"

It languished, the idea, until I decided to return to RFL.  So, for my first show, I'll be fulfilling a request that was made over six months ago.

I hope the person who made the request is listening!  (Though I know he won't be.)

Tomorrow!  From 7 to 9 am on 88.1 fm on 88.1 fm WRFL in Lexington, & online at wrfl.fm.  (Plus, remember, the premiere of Woke Up One Early Morning Blues at 6am!)

Preface To Push: Self-Promotion Is Hard

I once mentioned to a fellow programmer at KOOP in Austin that I hated to have to "promote" my show.  She said, deadpan, "Is it because you believe you have an inferior product?"

Well, yeah, that too.

This is how I pitched my new show, "Woke Up One Early Morning Blues," to the Programming Director at WRFL:

"The show will explore the many facets of pre-war blues, from proto-blues like work songs, call & response, & shouts, to popular female blues vocalists of the 1920s, to country blues from Mississippi, Texas, Louisiana, Georgia, St. Louis, Kansas City, & Chicago (all over, really).  Included will be lots of crossover material, since proto-country music, ragtime, & early jazz intersected with early blues."

It's happening from six to seven am, right before Self Help Radio, this coming Friday.

I come by my love of this music mostly accidentally.  I wanted, many years ago, to "educate" myself in early jazz, & liked schmaltzy jazzy pop from the 1920s as well as Dixieland, & was totally schooled by the brilliance that is Louis Armstrong's Hot Fives & Sevens.  As I was digging around, though, I saw those early jazz performers not only called many of their numbers "blues," but they played with blues artists - most notably the female performers who were the face of the blues for most of the 1920s.  It didn't take much of a leap to find out that the fellow who's playing guitar on that Bessie Smith track also makes his own blues music, & suddenly I'm tumbling into the Delta by way of New Orleans & New York City.

I love an art form - a musical genre - finding itself.  It seemed like, in those days, anything was possible.  & that's what I hope to explore on the show.

But man, I'd hate to have to try to promote it.  I'll keep it quiet on Friday mornings for the time being.

New Intro Time Again Again!

Since the new season at WRFL has begun, I needed to make a new intro - & so I have.

I try to make a new intro every year - but it turns out I let one intro last for two years back in the day.

But!  My obsessive-compulsiveness overtakes me more & more as I get older.  So there'll be a new intro every year I'm doing this show.  & may I present:

The Self Help Radio 2014-2015 Intro!

This will debut on Friday's show!

If you would like to hear the intros I've previously made, here they are:

You can listen to the 2002 intro (my first!) here.

You can listen to the 2003 intro here.

You can listen to the 2005 intro here.

You can listen to the 2006 intro here.

You can listen to the 2007 intro here.

You can listen to the 2008 intro here.

You can listen to the 2009 intro here.

You can listen to the 2010 intro here.

You can listen to the 2011 intro here.

You can listen to the 2012 intro here.

& this is the newly retired intro from the past year.

What do you think of the new one?

Lost Day

I had so much planned for this blog today.  This week starts a new year for Self Help Radio, & that means a new intro!  But I am tired now.  So.  Wait till tomorrow.  If you can.

Okay, I know you can.

Self Help Radio 050814: Damage

Self Help Radio can inflict a lot of damage over a couple of hours.  Is there such a thing as "radio insurance"?  If so, look into it.

Here's the show: the show on the website.  Or here's the direct links: part one & part two.  The song list is below - it may or may not damage you to look at it.

Be safe & thanks for listening!

(part one)

"Damage" David Sylvian & Robert Fripp _Damage_
"The Damage" Ivy Green _The Damage_
"Damage" The Attractions _Mad About The Wrong Boy_

"Damage" Yo La Tengo _I Can Hear The Heart Beating As One_
"Damage" Handsome Furs _Sound Kapital_
"Damage (feat. GZA) (Radio Edit)" Ol' Dirty Bastard _Return To The 36 Chambers: The Dirty Version_

"The Needle & Damage Done" Neil Young _Neil Young Archives, Vol. 1: 1963-1972_
"The Damage Done" Sisters Of Mercy _Some Girls Wander By Mistake_
"Damage Is Done" One The Juggler _Nearly A Sin_
"The Damage Has Been Done" Ann Clark _Shake A Leg!_

"Damaged Goods" Gang Of Four _Entertainment!_
"Mr. Damage" Angels _Out Of The Blue_

(part two)

"Damaged" Primal Scream _Screamadelica_
"Damaged" Vivian Girls _Vivian Girls_
"For The Damaged" Blonde Redhead _Melody Of Certain Damaged Lemons_

"Brain Damage" Austin Lounge Lizards _Lizard Vision_
"Brain Damage" Shakes _I Think We Should Stay Away From Each Other_
"Brain Damage" Bill Cosby _Himself_
"Doin' Damage" JVC F.O.R.C.E. _The Best Of B-Boy Records_

"The Voice Of America/Damage Is Done" Cabaret Voltaire _The Voice Of America_
"Where Damage Isn't Already Done" The Radio Dept. _Lesser Matters_
"Too Damaged" Subsonics _In The Black Spot_
"Damaged I" Black Flag _Damaged_

"Damage Done" Moderat _II_

Whither Damage?

The evolution of a thought to a radio show is a trivial one, fraught with too much conceit & of course not  bit of self-importance.  Its unimportance in the grand piano scheme of things is unrivaled in the history of human indulgence.  Yet here we are, at least I'm here, wondering aloud or in the corners of our minds, why do a radio show about such-&-such?  Oh!  To be a warrior in some oppressed land fighting for one's freedom rather than making a boring radio show!

Well.  Self Help Radio airs today from 10am to noon on WRFL - 88.1 in Lexington,  Maybe listen?  Who cares?

Preface To Damage: No One Is Safe

I am something of a comics nerd but I confess I hadn't heard of (or forgot about) this DC comics character

It makes sense why I might not know who he is - the son of the original Atom, Al Pratt - because even though I tried to keep up with Roy Thomas' obsessive desire to tie all the old comics together - a task of which I approve, as it's something I would try to do - reading both All-Star Squadron & Infinity, Inc., in the 1980s - I had all but given up reading comics in the 1990s, & this character was created in 1994, according to Wikipedia.  I've read a couple of the more recent JSA comics since then, but the character didn't stand out to me - or I just didn't remember him, which is sort of the same thing.

I do feel a little weird, though, because there was a time when I loved the fact that I knew pretty much every hero & villain & supporting character in the DC Universe.  I loved the idea of parallel worlds, & was one of those happy kids who waited for the JLA/JSA crossovers in the summer.  When Crisis On Infinite Earths happened, I was pretty bummed - I loved the fact that I was one of those loyal readers who knew that the Marvel Family lived on a different earth than the Freedom Fighters (whose world was conquered by Nazis!).

& I have no idea what's going on with the most recent "reboot."  I have an idea: don't restart, just tell the tales & let the characters die & others replace them.  Oh, I'm sorry, you couldn't hear me above the noise of all that money to be made.  My apologies.

Also, sorry to Damage - I'm sure you're a fine character.  Hey!  I knew your dad when he lived on Earth-2!

What I Hate: Stinkbugs

These guys:

They've infested our sun room.  This is a bad thing, says this page.  I am none too fond of bugs, even ones called "stinkbug," & I am especially not fond of bugs that emit an odor when smashed.

For the longest time, I just let them be.  Occasionally, one would fly at me in a particularly hateful way, but mostly we avoided each other's space.

No more.  I have started to kill them.

I am a vegan, & I get asked often about whether I eat honey or wear silk.  The answer is, not really, but I don't have the same attitude about bugs that other vegans do.  Silk is a no-brainer - it's not my style.  But if I'm going to eat honey, it'll be local honey, since I know those folks care about the bees.  Bees are important, & if there's going to be an insect I have to care about, it'll be bees, although they'll probably be extinct in my lifetime.

I grew up poor, in apartments that had cockroaches.  I killed them.  In the summer, flies would get in.  We had a fly swatter.  If I find something crawling on me, I may scream like a child, but I also will fling it off &, if I am not shivering too much, stomp on it until it's dead.

I'd be a terrible Jain, in other words.  Not as bad as someone who salivates when people talk about bacon or who'd wait in line for a KFC Double Down, but still not someone other Jains would hang around with.

Let this be a warning to the stinkbugs in my vicinity: I am no longer guardedly indifferent to you.  I am your enemy.

But please don't fly into my mouth when I'm asleep.

Mowing The Lawn: Seven Thoughts

1.

There used to be an old KVRX promo spot in which a bored teenager was being badgered by his mother to mow the lawn, & he says he doesn't want to, he'd rather listen to KVRX.  The humorous tag was, "KVRX - it's better than mowing the lawn."  Meanwhile, you could hear the lawnmower revving up in the background.

2.

I tried to find it in old recordings but had no luck.  Sorry!

3.

I didn't have a yard growing up.  We lived in apartments.  Occasionally, my sister would give me five bucks to mow their lawn.  It wasn't any fun.  She used to mow her own lawn but doesn't anymore.  She pays someone now.

4.

We have a lot of lawn where I now live.  When the wife was getting a fence put around the backyard - essential when you have beagles - the guy from whatever company suggested to her that she might want to install a larger gate for a riding mower to pass through.  She said no, she expected her husband to mow the lawn with a mower.

5.

Which is fine with me.  I think mowing the yawn should be a chore that feels like a chore.

6.

We have a large yard & an electric mower, which is quite heavy, because of its giant battery.  We had to buy an extra battery because of the length of time it takes to mow both the front & back of the house.  It stopped working last week so we borrowed the neighbor's gas mower to mow the lawn today.  Two observations:  a, the electric is quieter, & b, it cuts better.

7.

Oh yeah, I spent the day mowing the lawn.  That's why I'm going on about it.