Friday, April 17, 2015

Self Help Radio 041715: My Favorite Radio Show

(Original image here.

One day I'd love to do a radio show about my favorite radio shows.  Wow, that would be fun!  There have been so many - I could spend so much time on each of them.  Some of them I learned from.  Some of them I marveled at.  Some of them were so much fun to listen to.  Some of them I couldn't believe what I was hearing.  Most contained all parts of that.

However.  Today's show is using that title to give me an excuse to play songs in which the musicians talk about their favorite things.  (Even the band My Favorite gets a song because in the song they say "you're my favorite.")  You can see what songs I played below.  People are not shy talking about their favorite things!

The show is available now at the Self Help Radio website.  By now I don't need to remind you about the username/password (SHR/selfhelp) situation.  Oh wait.  I just did.  Uh.  All right!

Thanks for listening.  You are my favorite!

(part one)

"My Favorite Things" The Hi-Lo's _Only The Best Of The Hi-Lo's_
"My Favorite Dream" Jan & Dean _Jan & Dean: Surf City + Folk 'N' Roll_
"Love's My Favorite Color" Dick Glass _Love's My Favorite Color_
"Alice Long (You're Still My Favorite Girlfriend)" Boyce & Hart _I Wonder What She's Doing Tonight?_

"My Favorite Song" Kaygee's _Keep On Bumpin` & Master Plan_
"That's My Favorite Song" Dramatics _Any Time Any Place_
"My Favorite DJ" The Headboys _The Headboys_
"My Favourite Films" The Gifted Children _Whaam! Bam! Thank You Dan! A Whaam! Records Compilation 1981-1984_

"My Favourite Girl" The Hit Parade _With Love From... The Hit Parade_
"My Favourite Buildings" Robyn Hitchcock _I Often Dream Of Trains_
"My Favourite Wet Wednesday Afternoon" The Siddeleys _Scared To Get Happy: Story Of Indie Pop 1980-1989_
"My Favourite Dress" The Wedding Present _Tommy_

"My Favourite Pastime" Boyracer _Welcome To The Wetherbeat Scene 1988 - 1991_
"My Fave Ex-Wife" The Bartlebees _Twen Beat_

(part two)

"My Favourite Jumper" Ampersands _The Long Secret: A Harriet Harriet Records Compilation_
"My Favorite Cuppa" The Shermans _Casual_
"Working Class Jacket" My Favorite _Love At Absolute Zero_

"My Favorite Kind Of Day" Laura Watling _Winter EP_
"Brown & Beige Are My Favorite Colors" Acid House Kings _Mondays Are Like Tuesdays & Tuesdays Are Like Wednesdays_
"My Favourite Fool" The Ethnobabes _Stargazer_
"My Favourite Shadow" The Haircuts _It's Always Better When We're Together_

"My Favorite Dream" The Smittens _A Little Revolution_
"My Favourite Songs" Dylan Mondegreen _While I Walk You Home_
"I Only Wear My Favorite Clothes At Home" Dangerous Ponies _Dangerous Ponies_
"My Favorite Topping" Charles Edward Cheese Band _Let's Eat Pizza_

"My Favorite Angel" John Wesley Harding _Who Was Changed & Who Was Dead_
"My Favorite Dude" Tania & Dyan _My Favorite Dude_

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Whither My Favorite Radio Show?

You might have guessed that this week's show is really not about my favorite radio show.  It's just a conceit that will let me play songs that have names or talk about "my favorite ______."  That's all.

I've had a lot of favorite radio shows, & many of them are on WRFL.  In the past, I've felt that I was in some way competing with them, which is a terrible way to feel.  I can be very critical of things, & a lot of that probably comes from some insecure place in me.  Once I find myself putting those feelings aside, I very happily find that I like what I am listening to.  In a real sense, good radio is not something I compete with, it's something I try to add my own radio show to.  Too often I fail.  That's my fault, not theirs!

This will be the third-to-the-last Self Help Radio on WRFL.  My gosh!  It'll air from 7-9 am of course, on 88.1 fm in town, online at wrfl dot fm.  Later on I'll put it up at the Self Help Radio website.

It's going to be a lot of fun.  & there are only three episodes of Self Help Radio on WRFL left!!

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Preface To My Favorite Radio Show: What Is My Favorite Radio Show?

I'm amazed that a whole generation or two of young people have grown up without radio.  I know most  radio is terrible (probably including my dumb show), but I have such happy memories of growing up with radio.  & when I discovered community radio, it was the gateway into the world of music I love now, most of which doesn't get (& has never gotten) played on commercial radio.

But I'll tell you one story about radio being important to me.  It was probably when I was in eighth grade, so I was twelve or thirteen or maybe fourteen.  My mother had given to me & my little brother two radio/tape recorder units that weren't quite boomboxes, but very handy, because I was taping music from the radio by holding a little cassette recorder up to a speaker.  I would record television shows the same way before VCRs.  The sound quality was awful.

We got these sorta-boomboxes for Christmas, & it wasn't long after we got them that, because it was retractable & we didn't remember to do retract it, the antenna bent & broke off.  Which meant it could be used as a kind of dueling implement.  Which meant the other antenna was promptly broken off so it could be used to duel the other dueling antenna thing.

During the summer I would sleep on the sofa so I could watch television late into the night, & I would often have my radio/tape recorder right next to me.  One of Dallas's two classic rock stations at the time - I believe they were Q102 & KZEW "the Zoo" - would, at eleven o'clock each night, play an entire album all the way through.  If I were smart enough to catch it on time, I could get a record I couldn't afford to buy & get it on my own tape.

I was obsessed then with the Beatles.  I had taken from my older brothers the Beatles records they had - Sgt. Pepper, the Blue + Red Greatest Hits releases, Let It Be - but of course I knew I hadn't heard all their songs yet.  I would tape Ringo's Starr's show Ringo's Yellow Submarine on Sundays & I was amazed there were songs I didn't even know existed.  My friend Russell had told me that his favorite record was called The White Album.  I so wanted to hear it in its entirety.

One night, they played it all the way through on that eleven o'clock spot!  I had my tape ready.  But there was one snag: because the antenna had been torn off, I had to put my finger on the space where the base of the antenna had been in order to hear the station without static.  This meant that for as long as the record played - & the station played commercials in-between sides - I had to leave my finger on that spot.

It was worth it.  That record blew my mind.  I didn't know you could do such a thing as that record, & of course nothing had prepared me for "Revolution No. 9."  I listened to the tape constantly, & for years, after I had bought the record myself, & then the CD, I would expect to hear the static from when, because my arm was tired, I shifted my finger.  I also never got the hear the entire ending of "Long, Long, Long" because the deejay put an ad in way before it finished (it has a long, long, long fade).

Later on, I would discover KNON in Dallas, & then a late-night show on KUT in Austin which, in the mid- to late-1980s, played college radio type music.  KTSB, the precursor to KVRX, started around that time, but they only broadcast on cable FM, & of course no one knew what that was.  I did my first show on KVRX on cable FM & I still don't know what that is.

But as much as I loved the radio up until the end of high school, when I discovered music that was never played on commercial radio, it wasn't inevitable that I would actually one day become a deejay.  I sort of daydreamed about it, like one does, but even when I went to KVRX in the summer of 1994, I wasn't thinking about going on the air.  I was thinking about finding new music, & I left there with a handful of CDs to review.

Hmm - I guess I didn't say what my favorite radio show was, did I?  Well, rest assured, it's not Self Help Radio!

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Nerd Stories

A friend asked me yesterday if I were enjoying the new Daredevil series on Netflix.  I had only seen the first seven episodes, but I was liking it a lot.

It shouldn't surprise you, but I am a comic book nerd.  What hadn't occurred to me until yesterday was that other people might not have grown up with comic books the way I did.  I see every damn comic movie & I watch every damn comic television show because that mythology has grown inside me as I have grown.  An example: I am probably the only non-teenage-girl who watched all ten seasons of Smallville.

It doesn't mean I like everything out there - nerds have standards! - but I like more movies & shows than my friend does, & something made me ask him when he started reading comics.  When he said he was in his teens at the time, it somehow explained his significant lack of interest compared to mine.  I'll bet if you asked me at five years old what Daredevil's secret identity was, I would've said, confidently, "Matt Murdock."

Comics were around the house all through my childhood.  My older brothers worked at the same convenience store, called Orchard Hills Grocery, as my mother, & they brought comics home.  (I'm almost certain they didn't pay for them.)  Orchard Hills Grocery, by the way, still exists in Garland, Texas, & today it looks like this:
I don't think there were poles to stop cars in the front, nor bars on the windows, when I was a kid, but otherwise it's the same damn building.  My mother worked there in the mornings, & the elementary school I went to was a block or two behind the store, so we often stopped there to say hello to her (& get candy for lunch) during my fourth & fifth grade years.

Anyway.  Lots of comics all the time.  I read them constantly, but I think, by the time I was in seventh grade, I had started to outgrow them.  I had come to like science fiction (like Star Wars) (although not the Star Wars comic book) & movies better, & certainly had begun to read classic literature like Dickens & Jack London.  Comics didn't seem childish or anything to me, I just felt like they weren't as interesting as when I was younger.

(I can't say for sure.  I was twelve years old.  Who reflects on their life like that when they're twelve?)

Then something happened.  My littler brother had a classmate named Gus who, out of the blue, contacted me because he knew I had a lot of comic books.  He asked me if I knew who John Byrne was.  (Who is John Byrne, you may ask?  He was an artist who came into his own on The X-Men comic, making it the most popular comic at the time, in the early 1980s.  Here's his Wikipedia page.)

I had no idea who John Byrne was, which probably bothered me.  I could identify Steve Ditko, Jack Kirby, John Romita, Curt Swan - pretty much any artist from before 1980.  Who was this upstart?  & why was he making a kid who not only was younger than I was but who was also a sporty type (Gus played football) talk to me about comics?

It turns out that John Byrne's X-Men comics were in such high demand that back issues started to be "worth something."  The same thing happened later with baseball cards.  Gus's interest wasn't in the content, but I - I was a reader.  I recognized that something different was happening in comics.  & I was sucked back in.

While I don't think I would have abandoned comics entirely, I am glad I got back into them in the early 80s, because I probably would've been in the middle of high school & hearing about a comic book called The Watchman & paying lots of money I didn't have to find copies.  (Collecting them in graphic novels was not a thing yet.)  One of the things I was fortunate to discover is Frank Miller's Daredevil.

Frank Miller has become something of a polarizing figure these days.  He is criticized for his somewhat anachronistic tough-guy protagonists in stuff like Sin City.  I confess to not liking or following a lot of his later stuff, but I did like his Daredevil & his Dark Night Returns.  Again, I might have not come to them at the time if a kid who knew my little brother hadn't daydreamed about getting extra cash by buying & selling funny books.

My re-entry into that world was pretty quick.  I had discovered a book store on Shiloh road that sold used comics pretty cheap & was about to start selling the new "direct market" releases.  But I didn't ignore the classic newsstand comics.  Around this time, my mother worked at a convenience store down the street from Orchard Hills - this one was called the Time Saver - & one day she let me take off the rack (when the boss wasn't there, my mother assumed that things were free) an issue of Daredevil - I think it was this one:
This is from 1981, so I was 13.  I grabbed it, I took it home, & I read it - & what Chris Claremont & John Byrne's X-Men suggested was confirmed by Frank Miller: something new was happening in comics.  I rode my bike around town to find small, independently owned convenience stores, to see if earlier issues were still available.  (They left comics on the rack far longer than stores like 7-11.)  I was able, with the help of the comic shop, to get all of Miller's entire run that way.

(The Time Saver is not there any longer; a different convenience store was built over its ashes.  The used bookstore that also had comics closed some time in the 1990s, after I had left Garland for Austin.  According to Google Maps, what's there now is a medical supply place.)
Frank Miller's run on Daredevil highly influenced the Netflix series.  Characters he created are prominent, as is Daredevil's adversarial relationship with the Kingpin.  Much of this is why the show thrills me so.  My wife, who did not grown up with comics like I have, is not in the slightest interested in the show.

Which brings me back to my discussion with a pal about the series & comic book movies/shows in general: one reason I do things like watch ten years of Smallville is because my attachment to these creations is deep.  In a real sense, they were friends of mine when I was young.  When I rediscovered comics in my teen years, I became an object of ridicule to my peers.  I would wear a Walt Simonson Thor t-shirt in gym class, & to the others in the class that was grounds to mock me.  But I was fine with the things that I loved.

When I watch a show like Daredevil, I'm doing it to be with an old friend.  When it turns out to be as good as it is, I'm as thrilled as when someone I love has done something wonderful with his or her life.

When it isn't all that good, well: I'm still pretty supportive.  Because we're very old friends.

Monday, April 13, 2015

Timetable Change!

Remember about a week ago when I made an announcement that I was moving away from Lexington & that there would be only five more episodes of Self Help Radio on WRFL?  Well, you know what the Close Lobsters said, right?  "Let's make some plans 'cause they can go wrong."

Because of renovations in its current space, WRFL is moving.  It's a massive undertaking & I don't envy the students there that run the station.  But because of the move - which is happening the first week of May - there's a chance that my last show, which I had scheduled for May 8, might be pre-empted.  Since I will be leaving the city very soon after that, I might not have a chance to do an actual last show in Lexington.  That's probably not important to you, but it is to me.  I need closure, damn it!

So the timetable has changed.  My last show on WRFL will be my May 1st show.  Which means there are only three (3) episodes of Self Help Radio left on WRFL.  Oh no, I may get a little emotional here.

But wait!  I will be subbing another of WRFL's shows, the one called The Bindle, which is also theme-based, on April 20.  For some reason, people at WRFL told me I should do a show about "grass."  Something about April 20 suggested grass to them.  Maybe because spring is in full flower?  Anyway, even though it isn't an episode of Self Help Radio, I'll still do the show pretty much the same way I would do any theme-based show.  As a technicality, then, there will be four (4) more episodes of Self Help Radio sort of.

When will Self Help Radio return?  Ha ha!  I don't dare to set a date for that just yet!

Friday, April 10, 2015

Self Help Radio 041015: Laundry

(Original image here.)

I brought my laundry up to WRFL this morning.  There wasn't much dirty laundry - surprisingly - but I did have a lot of stuff to iron & fold.  Then I ran out of quarters!

I had a couple of people help with the laundry.  I talked to author David Fruchter who, in his book You're Doing It Wrong!, says I've been washing my laundry wrong all these years.  & I chatted with Our Fellow In Hollywood, Mark Miller, who attempts to air some dirty laundry of his own.  & Self Help Radio's own Alexander Spincycle talks about the history of the washing machine.  All of this plus tons of great music - how much great music? - look at what I played below!

The show is of course now at the Self Help Radio website.  If you want to listen, please note the username/password information on the page.  If you don't want to listen, can you at least fold your own laundry?  Do I look like a maid?  A washerwoman? A musician with a washboard?

Thanks for listening!

(part one)

"Washboard Blues (with Paul Whiteman & His Concert Orchestra)" Hoagy Carmichael _Timeless Historical Presents (1927 - 1939)_
"Washboards Get Together" Washboard Serenaders _Sounds Of Suprise_
"I'm The Laundry Man" The Five Breezes _Blues A Dixon: The Songs Of Willie Dixon_

"Wash Machine Boogie" Bill Browning & His Echo Valley Boys _Rock-A-Billy Dynamite_
"I Got Caught In The Washing Machine (& I'm Gonna Twist All Night)" John Shur _I Got Caught In The Washing Machine (& I'm Gonna Twist All Night)_
"Leader Of The Laundromat" The Detergents _The Many Faces Of The Detergents_
"Clothes Line Saga" Bob Dylan & The Band _The Basement Tapes_

"Washerwoman" Cliff Richard _Finders Keepers_
"Washday Blues" Dolly Parton _The Hits Of Dolly Parton_
"Laundromat Blues" Martin Mull _Days Of Wine & Neuroses_
"At The Laundrymat" Broken Bow & Idabell _Broken Bow & Idabell_
"Laundromat" Rory Gallagher _Rory Gallagher_

"Batman In The Launderette" The Shapes _Wot's For Lunch Mum? EP_
"Laundramat Loverboy" Active Ingredients _Laundromat Loverboy 7"_
"This Kind Of Music" Jonathan Richman & The Modern Lovers _Jonathan Sings!_

(part two)

"Laundromat Monday" Joe Jackson _Mike's Murder (The Motion Picture Soundtrack)_
"Velvet Launderette" Poison Girls _Statement: The Complete Recordings_

"The Laundry" Lilac Time _& Love For All_
"Laundry" Say Hi To Your Mom _Discosadness_
"Marlon Brando's Laundromat" Pony Up! _Pony Up!_
"Dirty Laundry" Cayetana _Nervous Like Me_

"Launderette" Vivien Goldman _Girl Monster_
"Laundromat" The Haywards _Side One/One Side_
"Clean Sinks & Folded Laundry" Ghost In The Water _Tooth_
"Laundromat" Bombadil _All That The Rain Promises_

"Laundry" Tania & Juan _Laundry_
"Dirty Laundry" Bitter:Sweet _The Mating Game_

Thursday, April 09, 2015

Whither Laundry?

The show was kind of inspired by this song:



I had heard the Lilac Time had a new album coming out & so I went back to listen to stuff from when I first discovered them over twenty years ago.  The song above stood out.

Apparently there's a video for that song but unfortunately it's not available on the interwebs (sad face).

I remember getting a collection of songs from their first three albums - maybe it was a promo? - from a friend who volunteered at KUT.  This would've been in 1990 or 1991, a few years before KVRX, & when, because of school & being in my first real relationship with a woman, I wasn't paying much attention to music.  Despite the advent of "alternative radio," there weren't many new sounds out there. The fact that one of the few non-commercial stations in Austin at the time was giving away great English indiepop is indicative of how hard it was to find something if you weren't actually looking.

The Lilac Time were a band I would return to from time-to-time but I didn't always keep up with them, & I have missed a lot in the intervening years.  The general opinion does suggest those first three records, which I have since acquired, are their best.

A few weeks back, when I was re-listening to the Lilac Time, I did happen to hear two Jonathan Richman songs, almost one after the other, in which he mentioned laundry.  When that happens, I think to myself, "Okay, that means I should see if there are enough songs about the laundry to do a dumb radio show about that subject."

There are!  I will!  Tomorrow at 7am to 9am!  On 88.1 fm in Lexington, & online at wrfl dot fm!  & later at the Self Help Radio website!  After that, on the line, drying in the lovely spring breeze!

Wednesday, April 08, 2015

Preface To Laundry: When Moving, Laundry Is The Least Of Your Worries

For real.

To move from Lexington, Kentucky, to Los Angeles, California, is already no mean feat.  To do it with seven animals (besides the two humans involved) is almost too overwhelming.

I've been planning the four-day route.  We'll drive over two thousands miles, in two vehicles (one of these some kind of moving truck), & I figure we can probably handle eight-hour-a-day drives.  That means covering over five hundred miles a day & then stopping to find a place to close our eyes for the night & maybe even find vegan food to eat.

The last is going to be tough, when the places we'll stay are, in order, Springfield, Missouri; Amarillo, Texas; & Flagstaff, Arizona.  I wish we could just hit bigger cities - the hotels would probably be cleaner, & there'd be a better chance places like Whole Foods stores where you can get pre-packaged vegan food.

& the hotels!  I guess I'm glad to be living in a world where you can read hotel reviews online, which wasn't something I could do when I started driving around the country over twenty years ago, but the reviews are marvelously inconsistent.  & why not?  Everyone has different levels of tolerance.  Remind me one day to tell you of the fight the wife & I had when she booked a very cheap hotel in Piccadilly Circus in London.

The pets - the pets whom I love so much & without whom I couldn't live - the pets are the biggest concern.  Four cats in tiny cages in a fast car (or truck) eight hours a day is hard enough.  Two of them have health issues (as I have written about before) that concern me in my everyday world; the two of them also eat throughout the day, which they won't be able to do in a car.  How I will worry.

Traveling with pets means pet need to stay in motels.  The worst motels are usually the ones that don't mind pets.  & why not?  Everyone & everything is welcome in the worst motels on earth!

I just told a neighbor that we'll basically be on a kind of autopilot the entire way - we'll be exhausted, we'll be on edge, we'll be anxious.  But we'll also be determined.  It's a trip we hopefully only have to make one time.  At least for a while.

Tuesday, April 07, 2015

Dirty Laundry

One song I won't play this week on my show about laundry is the Don Henley hit "Dirty Laundry."  It's not just that it was a number one hit single for Don Henley, & I usually stay away from the hits.  I actually found a serviceable cover, by a band called Harlan, but I might not play it either.

I'm not even refusing to play it because I loathe the Eagles, a group of which (as you know) Henley was a member.  I tell people all the time part of the reason I dislike the Eagles is just that I've been overexposed to them, almost without my consent, for my entire life.  I joke that on my deathbed I'll not be able to remember the names of my best friends, the woman I've loved, or my dearest pets, but I'll be able to recite the lyrics to "Hotel California."

The truth is, in the days before I discovered the gigantic & far more satisfying world of music hidden behind what's now called classic rock radio, I quite liked Don Henley, & specifically the album Building The Perfect Beast.  ("Dirty Laundry" is off the previous record, I Can't Stand Still.)  If you were a teen in 1984, & you listened to FM radio or you watched MTV, the song "Boys Of Summer" was seared into your brain.  Just writing the name makes the song start in my head - & if you're my age, it happened to you, too.

Why, then, if I like the song, don't I play it?  I mean, besides the fact that at any given point in time, somewhere on the planet, there is at least one media outlet playing Don Henley's "Dirty Laundry"?  & by playing it, even on a station like WRFL, you can watch precious dimes & nickels flying out of needy people's pockets into Don Henley's obscenely large pile of cash?

Besides that - I have two reasons.

One, it's not really about laundry, but about "dirty laundry" as a metaphor, meaning people's private stuff, which, if "aired," might bring them shame or embarrassment.

But that's not enough.  I don't play big hits, sure, but certainly I do play songs with metaphorical riffs on my themes.  I might not have any songs otherwise!

This is the kicker:

Reason number two: I'm not sure if I like it, after all.

I haven't listened to any Don Henley since I discovered that there was a world of music outside what was being played on commercial radio.  That world of music resonated in me so completely that I pretty much left the commercial rock/pop world behind.  That's been over thirty years ago now.  While I can look back fondly at myself for liking a song like "The Sunset Grill," there's no denying that bands like the Cure, the Smiths, Joy Division, the Chameleons, on & on & on, they speak to me far more than someone writing in the classic rock idiom, like Don Henley, ever could.

I therefore have no real way of judging whether I like it.  There are songs from my childhood that I love not because I really love them, but because when I was eight I jumped around the room listening to them on the radio.  I can't communicate entirely with the me from nearly forty years ago, but I most certainly can appreciate that that's a connection we share.  Whether I like that music or not, I did like it at one time, & that's a part of me.

Listening to the song "Dirty Laundry," by Don Henley, for the first time in decades, it seemed overlong & didactic.  The synths got on my nerves.  I annoyed myself by remembering a lot of the lyrics.  It wasn't even a pleasant nostalgic experience.

Oh who knows what I'm trying to say here.  I pride myself on doing a radio show that plays music I hope most people haven't heard.  But sometimes the best songs for a theme are well-known songs.

Still, I don't think I'll play the Don Henley song - or even the cover.

I hope you appreciate how stupid conflicted I am about the whole thing.

Monday, April 06, 2015

An Announcement


I made this announcement on my show on Friday, but maybe you didn't listen, which is eminently reasonable of you.  But perhaps you'll read this - I'll do my best to get your attention & point you here.

Here's the big news: there are only five (5) more episodes of Self Help Radio that will air on WRFL.

Why so?  Because after that, I will no longer be living in Lexington.

Does this mean the end of Self Help Radio?  Of course not!  I couldn't stop doing this dumb show if I wanted to!  It's almost guaranteed that there are two things I'll do immediately once I'm in my new city: 1) I'll start looking for an unsuspecting radio station at which to program my show; & 2) I'll do the show as a podcast until such time as I've found it a new home.

It does mean the end of Self Help Radio live on the air on Friday mornings at WRFL.  I am sad about that.  The station is a wonderful place full of nerds + weirdos & they've always made me feel at home.  If you live in Lexington, you know this; & you also know that there are plenty of better shows on the station than mine so I won't be missed even slightly.

Where am I going?  West!  West, where the water isn't!

I hope you'll keep up with Self Help Radio on this here blog or (if you want) on the Facebook or the Twitter pages.  Because the show will only be gone for a couple or three weeks before it's back & more annoying than ever.

I promise!

Friday, April 03, 2015

Self Help Radio 040315: The Same Old Thing

(Original image from this awesome site.)

Yes, the same old thing.  I'm unapologetic.  One tries so hard, week in, week out, to make an exciting radio show that sometimes - naturally - one must decide to take the week off & give the listener "the same old thing."  Does the listener care?  Probably not - after all, what is the listener listening to?  Self Help Radio!  That shows a lack of discernment.

But I think the show, for all its numbing familiarity, went well.  I interview radio personality Dr. David Fruchter, a staunch advocate for the same old thing.  I talked to Mark Miller in Hollywood, who has spoken out against the same old thing in that industry.  I got to talk to the Rev. Dr. Howard Gently, who had some wisdom about the same old thing to impart.  Tania & Juan wrote a song for the show.  & there's so much more - it's listed below.  Oddly enough, music about the same old thing doesn't all sound the same.  That's a head scratcher.

I am falling asleep as I write this.  So I'd better tell you that the show is now at the Self Help Radio website.  It's in two parts, & the songs in each part are specified below.  Pay attention to password stuff.  & if you can stomach it, listen to the last airbreak - I make an announcement there I won't make here till next week.

As always, thanks so much for listening!

(part one)

"Same Old Thing" The Olympics _Northern Soul Originals: 70s All Nighter Hits_
"The Same Old Things Keep Happening" Piano Red _The Doctor's In_
"Same Old Thing" Tania & Juan _Same Old Thing_

"Same Old Thing (Live)" The Wipers _History Of Portland Punk, Vol. 1_
"Same Old Thing" The Meters _Struttin'_
"Same Ol' Thing" Del The Funkee Homosapien _I Wish My Brother George Was Here_
"Same Old Thing" The Streets _Original Pirate Material_

"Same Old Story" Mickey McCullers _The Complete Motown Singles: 1962_
"It's The Same Old Song" Red Shirt Brigade _Shoopdeedoop_
"Same Ole Beat" Freddy Scott & The Four Steps _Las Vegas Grind, Vol. 6_
"Same Old Songs" Suzi Jane Hokom _Lee Hazlewood Industries: There's A Dream I've Been Saving 1966-1971_
"Same Old Scene" Roxy Music _Flesh + Blood_

"Same Old Grind" The Spacemen _Highs In The Mid Sixties Volume 15: Wisconsin Part 2_
"Same Old Song" Psychic Ills _Hazed Dream_

(part two)

"Same Old Flame" Orange Glass _Permafrost Records Presents "Self Portrait"_
"Same Old Story" The White Wires _WWIII_
"That Same Old Feeling" Pickettywitch _Jackie: The Album_

"The Same Old Merry Go-Round" Michael Loring _Songs For Political Action: Folk Music, Topical Songs & The American Left 1935-1954: Campaign Songs 1944-1949_
"Weary Of The Same Ol' Stuff" Bob Wills & His Texas Playboys _San Antonio Rose_
"Same Old Boogie" Martha Davis _Martha Davis: 1946-1951_
"That Same Old Train" Snooks Eaglin _The Legacy Of The Blues, Vol. 2_

"The Same Old Thrill" Terry Timmons _Rhythm & Blues: Fine Brown Sugar, Vol. 3_
"You're Up To Your Same Old Tricks Again" Bettye Swann _Bettye Swann_
"Same Old Man" Karen Dalton _In My Own Time_
"The Same Old Tears" A Girl Called Eddy _Tears All Over Town_

"Same Old, Say Mold" Sentridoh _A Collection Of Previously Released Songs_
"Same Old Innocence" Architecture In Helsinki _Places Like This_
"Same Old Madness" Ministry _Twelve Inch Singles_

Thursday, April 02, 2015

Whither The Same Old Thing?

Sometimes it feels like you've just been doing the same old thing for a long, long time.  Why not celebrate it with a radio show?

It's storming in Lexington right now.  Is that the same old weather we have every same old spring?  I don't recall.

I'll be subbing a show from 5 to 7 tomorrow morning as well, but Self Help Radio will be on the air of course from 7 to 9am & you already know the dumb theme.  All my buddies are contributing, including a nice new song by Tania & Juan, so it should be at the very least entertaining.  & I should know from the very least.

Listen!  88.1 fm in Lexington!  WRFL dot fm!  & later I'll do the same old thing I always do, I'll put it on my website at Self Help Radio Same Old Dot Net.

Wednesday, April 01, 2015

Preface To Same Old Thing II: Dead Pet Rock Guy


Here's a bonus blog entry for you today.

The fellow who invented the "pet rock" died today.  Unfortunately his name was Gary.  Also unfortunately, he wasn't pummeled to death by the very rocks he made a fortune selling to people.

If I seem bitter, it's because I was hoodwinked by a "pet rock" when I was a kid.  I wanted a dog or a cat so badly.  I talked about it all the time.  I was just a child so of course the responsibility for taking care of the animal would go to my mother or my sister Karin, who was still living with us.  My mother never punished us for anything, & barely made us (at least the boys) do our chores, so of course we wouldn't be held responsible for taking care of a tiny life, as better parents do, to help their children grow.  As well, we lived in apartments, & we were poor, so there were pet deposits that my mother could scarcely afford.

Would anyone tell this to me at the age of eight or nine or ten?  Would anyone try to explain to a child why me having a puppy was a terrible idea?  Nah.  They chose instead to fuck with me.

As Christmas approached - this had to be 1977 or maybe 1978 - I was told I would be getting a pet.  This was hyped up.  I got so fucking excited.  A dog or cat!  I would dream about it at night.  & my family - mainly my older sister Pat - kept telling me over & over I was getting a pet.  Lost to the ravages of time somewhere is a piece of paper where I wrote several dozen names I would give it - to be narrowed down when I knew whether it was a girl or a boy.

On Christmas Eve, which was when my family opened presents, I was given a little box.  I immediately had that sense you get when you know something is wrong.  But I soldiered on - & opened it.  Inside was a "pet rock."  It was smooth, it smelled like women's perfume.  I'm sure everyone in my family had a big laugh, but I was just hurt.  I was stunned, my little brain couldn't quite make sense of the event.  It seemed cruel to me.  It seemed like I had been deliberately fucked with.  At some point, I think someone realized how crestfallen I was & tried to polish this turd, by telling me that everyone had one, that it was cool, whatever utter rubbish they could spout, but I knew it was no puppy, no kitty, not something that I could be the owner of.  I loved Peanuts cartoons, I wanted a dog like Snoopy.  But like Charlie Brown on Halloween, all I got was a rock.

I know many of the folks who bought the pet rock were stoners who thought it was "cute."  But for all the kids who were given this novelty piece of shit because their parents & older siblings & other relatives thought it was funny, I say a hearty "fuck you" to Gary Fucking Dahl & his bullshit invention.

What an asshole.

Preface To Same Old Thing

This blog entry today is just the same old thing!

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Child-Care Facility Cat-Calls

Behind my house, & to the left.

Can a grown man* be cat-called?  Or wolf-whistled?

Can a child do any of those things anyway?

I might have mentioned, I live catercorner to a church that has a daycare (see picture above).  Or child-care facility.  Whatever they call it.  Child hostel.  Juvenile detention center (just kidding).

This is entirely hearsay** - or idle gossip - but someone told me the church isn't doing so great in terms of congregants, that it's been hemorrhaging members for some time, but that it more than makes any of the money it needs by being a low-cost place for working parents to drop off their kids.***

The kids range in age from toddlers to probably fourth- & fifth-graders; it seems like it's mainly the five-year-old & older kids who are allowed to play near the fence which my property shares with their property.  Their toys - mainly bouncy balls - are often inadvertently tossed over that fence, & I've had to call the people who work for the church/daycare**** to tell them not to let the children climb the fence to retrieve the balls & toys because, you know, lawsuits.  As much as it pains me to deny children a childhood in this day & age.*****

Recently, since the weather's been nice, & they've been allowed to come outside, they've been yelling at me the oddest things.  First of all, they call me "sir," which will always freak me out.  Who are people that enjoy being old enough to be called "sir"?  When I came outside with the dogs today, I heard one of them say, "The man is back!"  I am officially the man.******

Usually, they say things like, "We like your dogs!"  But today & yesterday I've been asked, "Can we order a pizza?"  Or "Did you want a pizza?"  Or something shrieked that seemed to have the word "pizza" in it.

It's interesting to imagine playing pizza parlor.  I didn't usually play food service when I was a kid - I favored comic book stuff.

I don't engage them, for several reasons.  One, I think it's a little creepy, old dude chatting with kids over the fence.  Two, when they all gather at the fence & start talking, it's an amazingly unpleasant sound.  & three, I kind of refuse to because I wish the "teachers" would pay more attention to them.  The "teachers" usually are closer to the church, probably because they can smoke over there, & rarely venture out as far as the back fence.

They're inside now.  So many of my spring/summer days have the soundtrack of children screaming.  Because they don't really talk.  They scream.  & apparently, sometimes at me.

------

* I'm referring to myself here, so I use the term loosely.
** When writing this, because I'm talking about a church, I first wrote "heresy" instead of "hearsay."
*** Whether this is true or not, the house the pastor lives in, which is next to the church, is kind of a dump.  At least from the outside.
**** Apparently they're called "teachers," although it appears their main job is like an attendant keeping throngs of wild children in line.
***** Yes, I toss the balls back over.  I'm not John McCain!
****** It disturbs me that I am the subject of conversation for children.
******* This comment doesn't have a corresponding sentence above.  It's just too many asterisks.  It might be funny to add one or two footnotes, but this was ridiculous.  I'm sorry.

Monday, March 30, 2015

Spring Vs. Spring

I guess spring has come to Kentucky?  I end the sentence with a question mark because I was walking the dogs last week & it snowed on me.  It was too warm for the snow to stick to the ground.  But there were fat snowflakes in the air, hitting me in the face.  It was surreal.

I grew up in Texas, where spring was short & sweet.  Texas is a summer state, & it's always impatient to get the long, hot summer started goddammit!  In Austin, where I spent most of my adult life (so far), some time around the middle of March, we'd have two or (hopefully) three weeks of the most gloriously springlike weather in the universe.  Windows open.  Lying in the grass, reading or sleeping.  Walking home as the night turned a little chilly.  That, & the moment when the summer breaks & autumn begins, is a great reason to live in Austin.

Of course, the same is true here: people in Lexington love the summer because the winter can be so horrible.  When the temperature gets above eighty degrees, Lexingtonians luxuriate in it because they remember when the temperature was eight degrees.  & there was a foot of snow on the ground.  & they were planning a murder as the only cure to their cabin fever.

It's like the seasons are constantly fucking with us.

The high tomorrow (it says) will be 70.  The low Friday will be 39.  & this will be the range of temperatures for several weeks.  Last year I don't believe the summer began until maybe June.  Which is how it's supposed to be, right?  In Austin I used to play this game called "Can I Make It To May Without Turning On The Air Conditioner?"  There were some sweaty moments.  & usually I lost.

What would it be like in a place without seasons, like southern California?  I hear people from there complain about it all the time, how they need to travel to the Northeast (sometime that's where they grew up) to be reminded of leaves changing color & dangerous wind chills.  Austin would have some bitterly cold days but winter would be over in late February most of the time.  Here, in late February, we got a foot & a half of snow.

Maybe I'm skeptical.  The trees here have been hesitating with their sprouting of new leaves.  Like me, they've been tricked too many times before.

However, I do predict, with the utmost ignorant confidence, that it will be a glorious spring.  & I'll probably not notice until it's well underway.

Friday, March 27, 2015

Self Help Radio 032715: Blue Skies

(Actual photo of the skies above SHR HQ)

So magical!  I did a show this morning about blue skies & all the rain + grey clouds of the day just disappeared.  The wonder of radio!  The delusional powers of chance!

I guess I was welcoming spring, & so I played a lot of songs about blue skies today.  You can see the songs I played below.  I also played a Dr. Howard Gently inspirational tape, I interviewed David Fruchter of the Blue Sky Initiative, & had a conversation with a disembodied voice on the air.  Wow!  There's so much room in a big blue sky!

The show is now at the Self Help Radio website.  Pay attention to the login/password information on the front page.  Unless you just want to look at playlists, & maybe play the show in your head, like some people do with baseball looking at statistics.  That might be preferable to listening to me talk!

Also, if you heard the show live this morning, you'll know that a large chunk of my programming was filled with University of Kentucky students reading "the news" from wire services.  They have been edited out of the broadcast & more music added.  It's like 12% more show!

As always, thanks for listening!

(part one)

"Why Is The Sky Blue" Marais & Miranda _More Nature Songs_
"Blue Skies" Frank Sinatra _Blue Skies: 45 Hits From The 30s & 40s_
"Blue Skies (Moving In On Me)" Jack Scott _Jack Scott On Groove_
"Nothing But Blue Skies" Jackie Wilson _The Very Best Of Jackie Wilson_

"Blue Skies" Charlie Fawn _Charlie Fawn_
"Blue Skies" Club 8 _Nouvelle_
"Blue Skies" The Young Republic _12 Tales From Winter City_
"Blue Skies" Undersea Poem _Undersea Poem_

"Blue Suburban Skies" Even As We Speak _A Three Minute Song Is One Minute Too Long_
"Blue Skies Over The Ocean" The Cannanes _A Love Affair With Nature_
"Hey Blue Sky" Honeybunch _Time Trials: 1987-1995_
"Even The Sky Seems Blue" St. Christopher _Dig Deep, Brother (1984-1990)_

"Blue Sky Mine" Midnight Oil _Blue Sky Mining_
"Bullet The Blue Sky" Richard Cheese _Lounge Against The Machine_

(part two)

"Bright Lit Blue Skies" Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti _Before Today_
"Mr. Blue Sky" The Delgados _The Complete BBC Peel Sessions_

"In Bluer Skies" Echo & The Bunnymen _Porcupine_
"Bluer Skies" The Feelies _Here Before_
"No Blue Skies" Lloyd Cole _Lloyd Cole_

"Beneath The Blue Sky" The Go-Go's _Talk Show_
"Skies To Blue" The Rileys _The World & His Wife_
"Blue Sky" Go Sailor _Go Sailor_
"Blue Sky Yesterday" Secret Goldfish _Jet Streams_
"Big Blue Sky" Pee Shy _Don't Get Too Comfortable_

"Blue Skied & Clear" Slowdive _Pygmalion_
"Blue Skies" Dustin & Tania _Blue Skies_

Thursday, March 26, 2015

Whither Blue Skies?

Hooray that skies are blue!  How freaky would it be to live somewhere where the sky wasn't blue?  Like Mars?  That might be cool.  For a little while.

I grew up in Texas, which has more sky than almost any state in the Union.  After a brief sojourn to West Virginia, where there didn't seem to be as much sky for some reason (mountains), I've found myself in Kentucky, where there's a lot of blue sky - when it's not snowing - or raining - or threatening to snow or rain - Texas being a bluer sky sort of place maybe because of the lessened amount of precipitation.

Could it also be that, as spring has just begun, Self Help Radio wants to celebrate the next two seasons, the ones that promise the most blue skies?

Anyway, there are plenty of songs about blue skies because maybe they're the best skies, although I am partial to starry skies & even though it means snow I like the steel-grey skies of winter.  I look out the window & the skies today are quite white, which doesn't seem quite right, but it's because the sky is a bright grey today, it being a bit rainy.  That's not a bad sky.

Maybe there are no bad skies - wait.  Tornado skies are awesome, but they're horrible.  So there are bad skies.

Not tomorrow, though!  Self Help Radio's show about blue skies will be on the air from 7 to 9am Friday on 88.1 fm in Lexington + online at wrfl dot fm.  Later, when perhaps the cloudy skies go away, it'll be at the Self Help Radio website.

Now.  I'm going to go sit somewhere & daydream about flying for a little while.

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

I Know I Shouldn't Care About This

& really, I don't.  I just find it weird & fascinating & hope it's not doing too much damage to my already crippled self-esteem.

But first, a prologue.  A while ago, I was involved in a Usenet group onto which I very irresponsibly dumped lots of bad poetry.  (Bad poetry, as always, available on request.)  As an experiment, one summer, when I had time, I spent a couple of months archiving posts I liked.  It was a little exhausting, as I felt the need to read everything, something I never did before, because I wanted to be fair.  I hand-coded the page, found dumb images, commented on the posts, etc.  Because I had discovered an easy way to put a counter on the page, I added a counter, mainly to have the phrase "[counter number] of people are checking here today to see if I liked their posts" or something like that.

One of the members of the newsgroup, someone I never had any contact with, laughed at the counter number, & boasted that his (I think it was a he) websites got thousands of millions of hits!  It was, in the terms of the newsgroup world, dicksizing, but for some reason, since the website wasn't supposed to be for anyone but the small group of Usenet folks, I felt misunderstood & hurt by the reaction.

(Also, when I stopped doing it, another person, who must have thought I meant to do it forever, wrote something like, "Ha ha, I knew you couldn't maintain this!"  It was one of my first experiences in the weird world of people rooting for you to fail.)

It's more than a decade later, & while no one (as far as I know) is paying any attention to this but me, I have both a Facebook page & a Twitter page.  Both are linked to my regular web page, which, you will note, does not have a counter on it.  I learn my lessons!

My Facebook page has currently has 246 "likes."  A little over half of those "likes" are friends of mine on Facebook whom I requested "like" the page.  When I get new "likes," it's pretty exciting.  But here's a weird thing: two weeks ago, I had 253 "likes."  What's happening?

My Twitter page has currently 255 "followers."  I think using the word "follower" is a little bizarre, because it makes one sound like one is starting a cult or something, & most of my "followers" on Twitter are not fans of my show.  Many of them are people who just reciprocal "follows" with me.  A lot of them are bands or labels whom I've supported by playing them on the radio.  I "follow" more than twice as many people on Twitter than "follow" me.

The point is: it disturbs me that I seem to be losing "likes" on Facebook, which is a more personal social media site, than I have "followers" on Twitter.  It disturbs me not in a "what can I do about this?" sort of way, but in a "why is this happening?" sort of way.  Because I know I should not give a shit.  & I do my best to not give a shit.  (Which is good for my self-esteem.)

Here's an example of something I didn't take personally: I have a friend, or more an acquaintance, really, who I knew in Austin, who now lives in Chicago & writes for the the AV Club.  He's a very good writer & I enjoy his work a lot.  He used to have a couple of bands in Austin, both of whom I really dug.  I recently played one of them on the radio, & tagged him (or whatever you call it when you @thenameoftheperson in your tweet), & he responded humorously, & "followed" me, & almost immediately "unfollowed" me.

I was not in the slightest bit offended.  It seemed to me a perfectly reasonable thing to do.

Wait a second.  I just happened to notice something Facebook has written, when I was looking at page "insights":

"We’ve recently updated the way we measure how many people like your Page. Pages may see a decrease in likes after March 12, when we removed likes from inactive Facebook accounts."

Oh.  I see.  Then this whole thing I've written has been a waste of time.

Well!  It's a good thing no one reads this blog!

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Goldfish Story

Someone who knows my wife won a goldfish.  A goldfish was a prize for something.  A strange, lonesome life in a small glass cube.  That person asked my wife to watch the goldfish while she (the person) was away during spring break.  My wife brought the fish in, & set it in the middle of the dining room table.

We live in a house full of cats.  There are four of them.  Immediately I felt anxious for the poor goldfish.  My wife decided to cover the cube of water with some foil, with a couple of holes for air, but it bothered me even more.  (Probably irrationally - I've never owned a fish, & I didn't know if covering a cubic bowl with holey foil was safe.)  (But I didn't look it up on the net or anything.)  (Sometimes I think I get a little high on my anxiety & don't necessarily want it to be suddenly cured.)

I told my wife for safety we might put the fish in a spare room.  By itself.  My wife, as unfamiliar with owning a fish as I was, worried she might forget to feed the fish, & so, while she agreed to put the goldfish somewhere safe, she did write on our refrigerator whiteboard, "FISH! FISH! FISH!"

The fish found itself sitting on a bookcase next to a window by itself in a spare room with the door closed.  Which also made me very sad.  The fish by itself in a cube-shaped container (with a large plastic fish as its only companion) on a table in a busy house bothered me.  The fish in the room by itself bothered me.

The wife & I were about to go to Atlanta, & we had a person coming out to feed the cats.  She's a professional pet sitter but did that include fish?  Fish hidden in a spare room?

Our sweet neighbors - who also have a lovely beagle girl - agreed to watch the fish, & out of sight was out of mind.  Until I dreamt about the fish this morning.

Look, although I am vegan, & firmly believe in the rights of animals not to be abused by humans, I'm not against keeping them as pets.  (I have four cats & three dogs, you know.)  In the case of dogs, suddenly abandoning them would be absurd - they have co-evolved with us for millennia.  Cats are slightly different, because they're only a bit less feral when they're with humans, but I'm on the "better in here with us versus outside in the elements" side of the keeping them healthy & happy argument*.  My cats, even if they don't know, are much happier inside than the alternative.

But I get sad when I see a lonely dog in a backyard, completely ignored by the humans who own it.  Dogs want & need to be with humans &/or other dogs.  When our sweet neighbors adopted the beagle girl, they brought her into a home already comfortably filled two other dogs.  She was immediately so happy - she knew that she had found her forever pack.

Maybe the goldfish in the cubic bowl wouldn't have bothered me so much if it had had a goldfish companion.  After all, it's probably safer (to use my cat argument) in that small space than in the wild, where it might be lunch for a bigger fish, or one of those poor, doomed feral cats.  Yet something felt wrong, & caused me inner turmoil, to see it so solitary in such a small space.

I am thinking of going to a therapist.  Not because of this, this just happened as I was considering the idea.  But you know that this goldfish story would be a lengthy conversation.

-----

* As I wrote this line, it began to rain outside.