Self Help Radio 122116: A Very Self Help Radio Christmas 2016

Here it is, from the freaky Self Help Radio family to your own group of weirdoes, A Very Self Help Radio Christmas 2016!

In addition to too many Christmas songs in a two-hour period, there are interviews galore, a special message from my spiritual mentor, & a surprise phone call from someone who doesn't celebrate Christmas at all!  Yes, it's as difficult as your average Office Secret Santa & also as cheap.

Listen all throughout the holidays at Self Help Radio Dot Net!  I promise, if you want your relatives to leave, this will do the job!

& happy holidays to all!

(part one)

"Merry Christmas" Jim Of Seattle _Frothin' The Nog: Ye Fourth Green Monkey Xmas_
"Deck The Halls (Fa La La La La)" Little Jimmy Thomas _Deck The Halls (Fa La La La La)_
"White Christmas" Iggy Pop _Psych-Out Christmas_

"Funky Little Drummer Boy" Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings _It's A Holiday Soul Party_
"Little Jesus Loves Me" Bonnie Guitar _Merry Christmas From Bonnie Guitar_
"You're Just Like Christmas" The Crookes _You're Just Like Christmas_
"Carol Of The Bells" The Whiskey Wasps _Melancholy Holly_

"I Believe In Father Christmas" Greg Lake _The Atlantic Years_
"Do You Hear What I Hear" Gladys Knight & The Pips _Do You Hear What I Hear_
"Christmas Chopsticks" The Voices Of Walter Schumann _The Voices Of Christmas_
"Merry X-Mas Song" Pink Floyd _Rare Precious & Beautiful_
"Xmas Spirit" Destructors _Cashing In On Christmas, Vol. 6_

"Hail Santa" Nodding Tree Remedies _The T-D-R-Co Sound: Cascadian Christmas Collection_

(part two)

"Frosty The Snowman" The Forty Nineteens _Frosty The Snowman_
"No Room At The Inn" Bubblegum Lemonade _Under The Christmas Twee_
"Santa Is A B-Boy" Whistle _Live At The North Pole_

"Santa Claus & Popcorn" Merle Haggard _Goin' Home For Christmas_
"Carols Those Kids Used To Sing" The Statler Brothers _The Statler Brothers Christmas Card_
"Christmas At The Opry" Archie Campbell _Christmas At The Opry_
"It's Not The Presents Under My Tree" Narvel Felts _The Best Of Ripsaw Records, Vol. 3_

"Santa Baby" Wild Child _Christmas Mixtape, Vol. 1_
"Christmas Eve" Night Flowers _Christmas_
"Mister Santa" Lenny Dee _Happy Holi-Dee_
"Holiday Road" Matt Pond PA _Holiday Road_

"The Twelve Days Of Christmas" Bob & Ron Copper _Songs Of Christmas From The Alan Lomax Collection_
"Stille Nacht, Heilige Nacht" Der Bielefelder Kinderchor _A German Christmas_

(Image above from here.)

Whither A Very Self Help Radio Christmas 2016?

It's that time of year again!  You know because every damn radio show is playing Christmas music!  & frankly, it's the same Christmas music over & over.  But not Self Help Radio!  Just one Christmas show a year, guaranteed!  Plus!  No repeats ever!  Well, I mean, we play the same songs, you know, the Christmas songs you expect, but never the same recordings!  Also!  Lots of fun interviews tonight!  Like:

- an interview with a man who's studied Christmas Around The World!
- an interview with a former Department Store Santa!
- a special report from our travel correspondent about Christmas In Norway!
- a prerecorded holiday message from the Rev. Dr. Howard Gently!

Probably also surprises!  Who knows what's in these wrapped boxes?  You'll have to listen to find out!

It's on from 9-11pm eastern, 8-10pm central on 93.9 fm WLXU in Lexington, & everywhere at Lexington Community Radio online!  Have a listen!  It'll start your holiday right!  Well, maybe not entirely right.  It'll start something!

(Image above found here.)

Preface To A Very Self Help Radio Christmas 2016: I Feel Much Better Now, Thank You

Except my wife is sick now.

She's actually glad she caught the bug after me - as she told me, "Watching you, I knew exactly what to expect."  So - is "you're welcome" appropriate for being all communicable with the disease?

She also said, when the flu was causing her stomach pains, "How did early hominids survive?"  A sick anthropologist is a hilarious anthropologist.

She was supposed to go visit her family in California today, but weird circumstances - a previously-used voucher among them, which meant she didn't have a flight after all - led to her having to reschedule till tomorrow.  If she follows the same trajectory I did, she'll be exhausted but able to travel by tomorrow afternoon.  She's sleeping now.

& the show is done, & has been delivered to WLXU, although I didn't get a confirmation that it was received, so if it doesn't air, I'll at least be able to put it on my website on Thursday, before Christmas.  I am working on next week's show now, since the station will need it before they close for Christmas week on Friday.

Meanwhile, I am trying to decide if I should try to eat a regular meal tonight.  After emptying myself of everything I had in me over the weekend, I have eaten so far a banana, a handful of wheat thins, two small cups of applesauce, & two granola bars.  That's not a lot for two days & my body has begun to complain a little.  The only problem is, what I have to eat is sort-of-spicy Indian food.  When I wrote that, I got hungry; when I got hungry, my stomach made tsk-tsking sounds at me.

What do I do?  I don't go on about it here, certainly!  This is a blog for a radio show, not for someone day-to-day nonsense.  Just be glad that I was able to finish the show this week despite being waylaid by a virus - or be disappointed if you just wanted one lousy week of this year without an episode of Self Help Radio.  I'm sure that's quite a few people.

Health!

Sorry for that previous post.  Or is it sorry not sorry?

Not having lived in Texas for so long, & not having visited my family so regularly since the mid-00s, I had forgotten how every one of them is a petri dish for germs & viruses.  The weekend I visited my ailing mother & my sister was there, she who complained last week of having a "stomach thing."  If she had done as I did, & read up on such viruses, she would know she was still contagious for a few days after she felt better, but instead she gave me a hug anyway, & I, as I said, had forgotten how every time I came home from around 1986 till 2008 I would bring some sickness home with me.

Last night I was very unwell.  I cancelled dinner plans, which my wife thought I was doing because I am antisocial but which my wife decided wasn't the case when the vomiting began.  I had chills, I was so very thirsty, & I was weak.  I was exhausted but couldn't sleep.  I managed in the wee hours of the very cold morning to drink a few drops of water & slept a few hours until, around 6am, my sweet puppy Winston woke me so he could go outside.

All the while I despaired of being unwell & unable to finish my show this week.  But I rallied this morning, I managed to keep some applesauce down, & I was able to edit the many interviews I have planned.  Now it's just a matter of putting it all together.

Not that anyone was worried or knew or would have cared if sickness made me miss a show.  But I think I may sleep a little more before I finish the show tonight.

Sickness!

for immediate release:

Radio deejay & long-time "Self Help Radio" host Gary laid low by a stomach virus that's "going around"!  A night of stomach pain & regurgitation - & not in the good way - planned for a cold Sunday evening!  Fate of this week's show in doubt!  Will he rally to put a show together for Wednesday night - the annual "a Very Self Help Radio Christmas" program?  Or will he continue to a big baby & hold his dogs close & weep his benighted state?  Stay tuned!

Self Help Radio 121416: Gary's Favorite Music 2016

(Almost all these images came from Discogs.)

Look!  A year-end radio show!  With a list of songs the deejay thought were great!  What a novelty!

You know how this works.  You can listen at Self Help Radio dot net & you can tsk tsk at how my taste in music sucks.  It's totally your right to do so!  (I might be disappointed by you, too.)

Here's the list of songs.  Make your own list too!

(part one)

"Blackstar" David Bowie _Blackstar_

"The Answer" Savages _Adore Life_
"Wise Ol' Man (Edit)" The Fall _Wise Ol' Man EP_
"Blockhead" Angry Angles _Angry Angles_
"Fold" Burnt Palms _Back On My Wall_

"Do Rite With Me Tonite" Babaganouj _Pillar Of Light_
"Friday Night" The Spook School _Try To Be Hopeful_
"Come Have Me Over" The Sun Days _Album_
"Spies (No More)" The Chandler Estate _Infrastructure_
"Christine Zero" My Favorite _Christine Zero/Killed For Kicks 7"_

"Under London Skies" Close Lobsters _Desire & Signs EP_

(part two)

"In The Lobby" Iggy Pop _Post Pop Depression_
"My Pro-Choice Classical Language Joke" Hari Kondabolu _Mainstream American Comic_
"John Henry" Billy Bragg & Joe Henry _Shine A Light: Field Recordings From The Great American Railroad_

"Other People/The One Who Loves You" The Divine Comedy _Foreverland_
"Like John Lennon Said" Malcolm Middleton _Summer Of '13_
"My Ghost" The Shondes _Brighton_
"This Hum" The Submissives _Do You Really Love Me?_

"Walking Home" Hinds _Leave Me Alone_
"Bare Minimum" Jawbreaker Reunion _Haha & Then What ;)_
"Poverty Line" Good Boy _Poverty Line_
"Feel It Too" Oscar _Cut & Paste_
"Yellow Jacket Boy" T-Rextasy _Jurassic Punk_
"Year Of The Rabbit" Eskimeaux _Year Of The Rabbit_

"You Want It Darker" Leonard Cohen _You Want It Darker_

Whither Gary's Favorite Music 2016?

(I found this silly banner here.)

It is a tradition among some radio folks that - for whatever reason - they feel the need at the end of the year to play a group of songs released that year & call it "best" or "favorite."  I don't do "best," but I do have favorites.

Not all deejays do this, of course - many deejays, especially at stations of a non-commercial nature, such as the ones I have done my shows at, program shows which focus on music from a period of time long gone, where "new" music doesn't really apply.  It wouldn't make any sense for them to play their favorite music of the year if they simply haven't any.  One deejay I knew at KOOP, for example, boasted that he never played music released after 1980!

So, yes, not all deejays do this, but I like to play new music - I never really stop listening to new music, actually.  I listen to new releases all the time.  So, it makes sense for someone like me, who does a radio show which constantly features new music, to play my favorite new music from the year somewhat close to the year's end.

Why not the actual year's end?  For dumb reasons, really.  I do an annual Christmas show, which needs to air before Christmas, & I like to do my "indiepop a to z" series every four months.  The third-to-the-last show seems the best place to do the "favorites" show.

& it happens tonight!  Self Help Radio plays its favorite music released in 2016 from 9-11pm Lexington time, 8-10pm Fort Worth time, on 93.9 fm WLXU in Lexington & online everywhere at Lexington Community Radio dot org!  Have a listen.  You may discover we like much of the same thing!  But probably not.

Preface To Gary's Favorite Music 2016: That Awkward Intersection

It's that time of year when you can't visit a website without lists, lists, lists, of all the things that need to be listed about this horrible year of twenty sixteen.  Generally, I stay away - except maybe for the photos.  As I complained yesterday, "best of" lists bore me, so I don't pay much attention to them - except when I feel a need to compare my list of favorites to theirs.

You see, when you're super cool & you ignore stupid commercial crap, looking at lists like that can make you feel a bit superior - sort of like when you go to a site like Rate Your Music & the usual suspects are there, the ones that'll end up on everyone's lists because, you know, they're supposed to.  (Does anyone ever really listen to some of the records they claim to love?)

Except 2016 has to be different, damn it.  You know what's at the top of many (if not all) of these lists?  David Bowie's Blackstar.  & it's a good record.  On Rate Your Music, Leonard Freakin' Cohen is in the top fifty!  Maybe it's because they died, maybe that drew attention to their work, but then there's Iggy Pop's latest, doing well in opinion polls.  Motherfucker!

Why should I care?  Because those records are on my list, too!

How galling!  How awkward!

Oh No It's That Stupid "Best Of" Argument Again!

(Original image here.)

If you've ever read this blog around this time of year, or heard any of my year-end shows, you know I absolutely hate the whole concept of "best of" lists.  It's arrogant in the extreme, & is nothing but a list of the opinions of one or more people, representing some magazine or other organization.  It no more determines what is "best" than sales or awards do.  Here's why I don't think anyone can say what is "best" in a list form:

1) No one has listened to every album or single or ep released that year.  Sorry.  You may think you have, but it's impossible.  If all you're listening to is major label stuff, you are most definitely not listening to the best music out there.  You've fallen into the trap of believing that commerce determines what is "best" like the Grammys.  But it's almost guaranteed that half of the commercial shit you think is best will be forgotten in a few years.  Anyway:

2) Fuck popular culture.  Music is not about heavily choreographed events.  Music is not about moments created by publicists & teams of "songwriters" whose contributions are focus-group-tested.  Radio, as it always has, caters to the moneyed musical interests & plays the same shit over & over, but that no more makes something great now as it did in the past, where there's a graveyard of "successful" & "best of" records that no one thinks about anymore.  & even imagining that you as a critic free yourself of the influence of the corporations that send you shit for free, there's the fact that:

3) You can't compare "best" albums through different genres.  This may sound like somewhat fatalistic, but can you really say a hip hop album is better or worse than a bluegrass record?  Even if you have an unusually broad taste in music, you surely have a favorite genre, & you're going to prefer one over another.  In the end, when the jazz gal likes a record by some other genre, it's peer pressure & good ol' familiarity, it being played constantly around the office.  & those sites that let every critic have a vote & somehow tally those votes?  How fucking stupid is that?  Because:

4) Nothing is "great" because of popularity.  I repeat this for emphasis, because this is something that just baffles me.  Why does anyone think something is good because a bunch of people like it?  Perhaps I am genetically disposed to dislike something because of hype, but I most certainly don't believe something is great because of the money it makes or the fans it has.  & when it comes to critics, listen: people usually like critics that agree with them, or challenge them, but if you believe that just because someone can write or talk eloquently about things they love or enjoy, you're dealing with an artificial insecurity, because:

5) No one opinion is better than another.  At best, you can call an opinion better informed.  For example, if you said you hated Bob Dylan because you didn't like his voice, I wouldn't put much stock in your opinion about his records.  But that doesn't mean you're wrong that Bob Dylan isn't your cup of tea - it just means that you're wrong if you think his music is bad & music you like is good.  That's just a personal opinion, & as I've said, that means you can never say what is "best" except for what you like & think.  & therefore:

6) Everyone should retire stupid year-end "best of" lists.  No one knows what's best.  They can't.  It's impossible.  They can say what they like, & they can back it up with information & opinions & pretty words.  But that no more makes it "best" than album sales or popularity or awards or the consensus of critics.  What makes it "best" to you is personal to you.  You see:

7) Opinion is always & forever subjective.  Just say it's your favorite music of the year, or something else that isn't a statement that suggests it can be prove right or wrong.  Because you don't have any clue whether something is the best of the year any more than any other person.  Maybe in time - hundreds of years later - we'll know who stood the test of time.  But a few months after it was released?  Give me a break.

Okay.  I've made my points.  All right.  I can retire this till next year.

A Tumblr Blog I Like

This is from a Tumblr blog I recently started following.  It's called Samplerman & it's basically intensely detailed collage ("samples") from old comics & comic strips.  & it's awesome!  Have a look!

Self Help Radio 120716: Travel

(Original image found somewhere around here.)

Travel!  Who doesn't love to travel?  Well, come to think of it, my oldest sister hated to travel.  She only got on a plane twice in her life.  She loved to stay at home.  & actually my mother hates to travel - especially since 9/11 - she imagines that every plane that goes up with explode in the sky.  All right, let me ask this again: Who doesn't love to travel who isn't a female member of my family?  Damn it, it's a rhetorical question!

I love to travel, & I don't get to travel as much as I want, since we have eight animals in the house.  The wife travels a lot for her work, & to visit her family, & I usually don't get to go, since I have to watch the eight animals in the house.  My cats don't like to travel, actually - the trip from Lexington to Fort Worth was pretty unpleasant for them.  The dogs, however, love to travel - I wish I could drive everywhere & take them with us.

None of this has anything to do with this week's show except that the show was about travel.  A celebration!  A consternation!  In addition to the songs I played (which are below), I talked to a beleaguered travel agent, to a libertarian who made it his life's work to take down travel agents, & to my spiritual mentor, who blew my mind with a philosophical perspective on travel.  Also, I took a phone call from a couple of traveling musicians down in New Orleans.  It was as hastily assembled, over-packed, & hectic as your average long journey!

The show is now at the Self Help Radio website.  Have a listen: it's like taking a trip, without all that traveling & having great times & enjoying yourself!

(part one)

"Traveling Solves Everything" Violent Femmes _We Can Do Anything_
"Lonesome Traveller" Marianne Faithfull _Come My Way_
"Weekend Travel" Winter Vacation _Hit Music Only_

"Travelling Man" The Woodentops _Giant_
"Travelin' Man" Psychic Ills _Hazed Dream_
"A Travelin' Man" The New Christy Minstrels _Ramblin'_
"Hot Travel Tips" Todd Barry _Super Crazy_
"Have Love Will Travel" The Sonics _Here Are The Sonics!!!_

"Travel Agent Man" The Sound Apparatus _Garageaholic! Psychedelic! Outsider Music!_
"Travel Agent" Monty Python _Monty Python's Previous Record_
"Travelin' Blues" T-Bone Walker _The Original Source_
"Hard Road To Travel" Jimmy Cliff _Jimmy Cliff_

"Red Travelin' Socks" Malcolm Middleton _Waxing Gibbous_

(part two)

"Traveling Alone" The Mekons _Existentialism_
"Hard Travelin'" Woody Guthrie _Selections From The Woody Guthrie Centennial Collection_
"Travelin' On" Simon Bonney _Everyman_

"Have Blues, Will Travel" Eddie Noack _The 'D' Singles Collection, Vol. 1_
"Travelin' Mood" Wee Willie Wayne _Crescent City Soul: The Sound Of New Orleans 1947-1974_
"Air Travel" Chris Farlowe _The Mod Scene_
"International Travel" Lewis Black _Rules Of Enragement_
"Travelogue" Glo-Worm _Glimmer_

"I Believe In Travellin' Light" Belle & Sebastian _I'm A Cuckoo_
"Travelling Light" Lloyd Cole _Antidepressant_
"Travellin' Light" Peter Case _The Man With The Blue Postmodern Fragmented Neo-Traditionalist Guitar_
"Traveling Light" Leonard Cohen _You Want It Darker_

"Why Do The Wrong People Travel?" Noel Coward _Noel Coward Sings Sail Away & Other Coward Rarities

Whither Travel?

(I found this image here.)

This week's Self Help Radio knows that December is the month of travel, whether it's a far away trip to reunite with friends & family or just over the river & through the woods to grandmother's house!  It therefore celebrates this holiday migration to & fro with a show all about travel.

Not only is there the musical equivalent of Travel Scrabble, whatever that means, but also the show will contain an interview with an endangered travel agent, & with a person who fought to destroy travel agents, & with my spiritual mentor the Rev. Dr. Howard Gently, who's well-traveled, at least on the astral planes.  Also, how do you spell the word "traveled"?  Is it "travelled" or "traveled"?  Is it the same with "travelling" & "traveling"?  My spell-check says no!  My heart says yes!

A show about travel for travelers (travellers?) of all kinds, tonight on 93.9 fm WLXU in Lexington, online at Lexington Community Radio dot org.  9-11pm Lexington time, 8-10pm Fort Worth time, check your travel watches for other time zone times.

They say travel broadens the mind, but does a show about travel do that?  Listen to find out!

Preface To Travel: Staying At Home & Watching Things I Like

There are people I know who enjoy the Youtube for watching people play video games.  Others enjoy the watching of people talking about their lives, being sassy, stuff like that.  Others will enjoy comedic bits made by people who hope one day to be comedians.  I guess I like the latter, too, but really only one specific one, which is CinemaSins.  I must be a masochist, because I really enjoy watching the videos of movies that I enjoy.

Or maybe I think they're funny?  Anyway, if you have a hankering & the time - my wife points out that some of their videos are just 1/6 or 1/8 the actual runtime of the movie - just pick a movie you've seen & watch them tally the "sins" they find in the film.  It's very entertaining.

For me, at least.  For others, too, I presume.  But I just made my wife watch three of them in a row, so you know I enjoy them.

Radio Free America

No, this is not the soon-to-be-needed rallying cry for real, factual information after the Trump Administration bans the news media.  This is about radio.

Even though I archive all my recent shows on the Self Help Radio website, my current station, WLXU, & my former station, WRFL, have signed up for accounts at Radio Free America, where you can listen to other (probably better) shows than mine on those station archived for up to two weeks.  (You'll need to create an account, & it's not the most navigable set-up.)  (But it's a chance to listen to shows when you miss them live!)

Pretty exciting, yes?  Let's hope all the deejays at the stations sign up!

Worst Worthwhile Wind

The neighbors noticed, now the blinds are closed.  Unclothed, he stares defiantly, then needs to turn the heater on.

On any other day he might be offended; today he felt more or less vindicated.  More or less, he thinks to himself.  Comme ci, comme ça.  An outline of tepidness, like the splashes of water around the bathmat.  But it doesn't matter.

Nevertheless, the day aches to begin, & he jams his thumb reaching for something in the medicine cabinet.  He curses - as his dad used to say - like he was cursed.  There was nothing to do but wiggle it helplessly, as if the pain could be complained away.  Then the phone rang.

Bad news travels fast, faster still on a beamed satellite stream.  He wasn't ready for the news, now he's unsteady, sitting on the edge of the bath, bathed in sweat.  Was it a death in the family, or worse, a friend?  Was it the loss of love, a job, an opportunity?

You can't spell opportunity, his dad used to say, without r-u-i-n.  His dad had fallen asleep at a traffic signal one morning, & then at his desk later that day.  That night, the cleaning crew found him dead at his desk, an unfinished game of solitaire on his computer.

Death wouldn't even let him finish a game, a co-worker had said.  Not even a new high score!

Why he had thought of his father at that moment?  He tells the story to the voice on the phone, but then stops, confused, confusing.  Such expensive silence.

He never told anyone why he broke down that day, though he did lie & say he'd broken his thumb.  Someone noticed on social media he had "checked in" to some establishment two towns over, but soon even the speculation was over, & life continued against most everyone's wishes.

When the neighbors moved away, he'd stare at the empty window, & when those nights got too lonesome, he'd stare into his own eyes, which were emptier still.

Self Help Radio 113016: Magda's Birthday Show 2016

(Original image here.)

Another year, another two hours of birthday songs for my sweetie, whose birthday is today.  What have you other deejays done for your significant others, hunh?  Bought them things they actually liked?  Spent time with them?  Showed your love in normal, non-radio-related ways?  That seems just  fine compared to mine, & makes me feel bad about all the time I've wasted in my relationship.  Oh well!

Here's another group of songs about birthdays for my wife's birthday but also (don't tell her) for anyone's birthday.  Even yours!  Plus I talk to party planners & to my spiritual mentor, who seems to have changed his titles.  It's confusing.

The show is now at the birthday party I call "Birthday Cake Boogie" Skeets McDonald _Don't Let The Stars Get In Your Eyes_
"Happy Birthday (German Version)" Giorgio Moroder _Singles_

"Birthday" The Beatles _The Beatles (The White Album)_
"Pig Tails" Pookie & The Poodlez _Young Adult_
"Birthday Girl" Visitor's Day _Deadliest Creatures_
"All Lives Don't Matter" Hari Kondabolu _Mainstream American Comic_
"Don't Want To Make A Show Of Myself (On My Birthday)" No Bros _Double A-Side Birthday Single_
"Birthday Party" Yuno _Marsh_

"Eric's Birthday/This Ride" Shovels & Rope _Little Seeds_
"Waving At You" The Mountain Goats _Nothing For Juice_
"Birthday" Purple _Bodacious_
"Birthday Girl" Saturday Night Kids _Birthday Girl b/w Don't Do It_

"The End Of The World" David Greenberg & Harpeth Rising _The End Of The World_

(part two)

"Birthday Girl" Emergency Bible Study _Birthday Girl_
"Happy Birthday (Turn Gold)" The Bluebells _The Singles Collection_
"Your Birthday" The Troublers _Bunny: Songs '99-'03_

"Happy, Happy Birthday Baby" Tune Weavers _Vintage Music, Vol. 3_
"All You Gotta Be When You're 23 Is Yourself" Free Cake For Every Creature _Talking Quietly Of Anything With You_
"Ken Voss Birthday Interview" Bob & Ray _New Improved Bob & Ray_
"Birthday Mambo" Adam Green _Aladdin_
"Birthday Drunk" Fruit Bats _Absolute Loser_

"It's Your Birthday" Afro Dizzi Act _Welcome Speech EP_
"Happy Birthday!" Fojeba _Happy Birthday_
"Happy Birthday" The Mignots _Happy Birthday_
"Happy Birthday" The Pillbugs _Happy Birthday_

"Birthday Song" A Giant Dog _Pile_
"C'mon, It's My Birthday!" Dick Bruiser & The Punches _Oh!_
"Birthday" White Mystery _Blood & Venom

Whither Magda's Birthday Show 2016?

(I found this here.)

Since the very beginning of Self Help Radio, I've set aside a show a year to celebrate my lovely wife's birthday, which is December 1.  (I actually missed a couple of years because I was younger & just as stupid.)  One of the things I make sure to do is not to repeat recordings, but over time, you must understand that the choice of birthday songs diminishes.  People simply don't write as many birthday songs as they do Christmas songs, even though for many people their birthday is much more special, since it's theirs alone.  That's for those who get presents on their birthdays - some of don't anymore.

The present I give my love is this show, which is on tonight from 8-10 central, 9-11 eastern on 93.9 fm WLXU
in Lexington.  You should listen!  But why?  It's for your wife, dude!  Not just for her!  For anyone who has a birthday today, had a birthday earlier this year, or will have a birthday later this year - this show's for you!
(But really, it's for you, Magda.)

Preface To Magda's Birthday Show 2016: Confession Time Again

Boy, someone "confesses" a lot on this blog, doesn't he?

A brief search through this blog finds not a lot about changes or reevaluations of how Self Help Radio was made over its somewhat long run, but if you were a listener in early 2014, you noticed something.  One, the show was no longer on WRFL - I took a semester off.  The other was that, suddenly, out of the blue, in addition to interviews, the show featured fake advertisements.  "Self Help Radio was brought to you today by.." absurd businesses or people, unconvincingly voiced by yours truly, in mostly unsuccessful attempts at being funny.  Lots of those businesses were crowding the streets of poor, maligned Paint Lick, Kentucky.

There were precedents.  Some time in the mid-early-oughts (whatever you call them), I discovered the Firesign Theatre, & I loved their fake radio spots.  (I can't find an example, but perhaps you've heard "Ed's End Of The World Restaurant.")  At KOOP, I attempted to write & "perform" (read) some on the air, but I failed to make them funny.  I put that practice aside.

But!  Away from WRFL, without its spots to make radio lulls for which to change gears musically, I needed to make something myself, & I revisited that practice.  It became something I felt I needed to do every show.  So much so that now, your weekly Self Help Radio show features at least two fake ads.  Mostly they're silly, occasionally - very occasionally - they are somewhat amusing.  I have yet to make one that's actually funny.

Anyway.  The confession.  I have had a hell of a week.  In working on the birthday show (on tomorrow night), even though I will not repeat songs I've played previously, I lazily thought, what if I recycle a couple of fake ad spots?  Who will know?  No one who might have listened two years ago is listening now!

So this is what I did.  The two fake funny ads on tomorrow's show first appeared two years ago, on the birthday show then.  Again: nobody but me would notice.  But I feel guilt no matter what.  So.  I need to tell you what I've done.

You want to hear about all the money I've stolen from the elderly?  No?  Cool.  Cool.

Take Too Many Pictures

Here's a picture of my wife, irritated by me stopping to take pictures, like I do, when we're on our walks.  This was taken in Lexington, Kentucky, about two years ago, before we adopted our chihuahua.  I walked Winston, so I had probably handed over his leash to her - she's holding it out to give it back to me in the picture - to snap a photo of something stupid, like a chair in someone's lawn, or a chalk drawing, or a sunset.  (You can see a lot of my dumb pictures at my Tumblr blog.)

The thing is, I have a ton of pictures of my wife walking the dogs from some distance in front of me.  I take too many pictures, & I don't ever tire of that kind.  It reminds me of my life, in a way - following diligently the ones I love the most, trying to catch up, occasionally being reprimanded for lollygagging.

These are not pictures I often get to share, since they're of my wife & she hates pictures of herself, like every annoyingly beautiful person does.  (Us ugly people too!)  Since it's her birthday this week, & the show is a celebration of her, I thought that I'd share this one.  I hope she doesn't mind.

Show Names

My wife asked me today about show names.  She said, "How many different shows have you done with different names?"  It's a good question.

From 1994-1999, I did various shows at various times on KVRX.  Nowadays, it's important to have names for one's show on KVRX (I surmise from their schedule), but back in the day it wasn't a big deal.  Gary was on from so-&-so a time till so-&-so a time, there didn't need to be a name.  But!  At some point - when my show was on Mondays from 9-11pm, I toyed with the idea of calling my show "Thursdays With Gary."  The idea was the absurdity - "Every Monday, it's Thursdays with Gary!"  But then that book Tuesdays With Morrie came out & I didn't want to think my thing was a thing on the thing.

Most of my KVRX shows, therefore, were just shows with no name.  Gary is on at this time.

When I started Self Help Radio in 2002, that was its name.  It has endured.  For fourteen years!  But what other shows have I done?

There was a show called The War On Sailing that aired from 2008-2009.

Once in West Virginia, in addition to doing Self Help Radio on WMUL, I began an indie pop & rock show that I called Sugar Substitute (after the lovely Luxuriator song) as well as an electronics show I called Dickenbock Electronics.

Before I left West Virginia - & after I left WMUL - I had couple of podcasts that I didn't keep up with, one called Tags & Tricks - a jazz program - & another called The Zeke Moonshine Show - which was a country/folk deal.  My involvement with WRFL made continuing those impossible (or very, very time-consuming).

At WRFL I kept with Sugar Substitute - it was my default freeform show - but in the summer of 2014 I did a country blues show I called (clumsily) Woke Up One Early Morning Blues.  It was fun.

The next year, as I became involved with WLXU in Lexington, I did a show called Cradle To Grave which I loved to do but oy! it was a lot of work.

Is that it?

Thursdays With Gary
Self Help Radio
The War On Sailing
Sugar Substitute
Dickenbock Electronics
Tags & Tricks
The Zeke Moonshine Show
Woke Up One Early Morning Blues
Cradle To Grave

Those are the shows I've done?  Hm.  Seems disappointing in a way.