Most Mortem

Whew.  I am so fucking bad at this fundraising thing.  The only pledge I got today was from someone at the station.  I was supposed to raise two grand over three pledge days to justify my existence & despite six hours of begging & pleading on the radio - & trying to make something worth listening to - I barely made one-eighth of that.  If I got a call tomorrow saying, "Sorry, buddy, we can't afford to have you stinking up our airwaves any longer," I wouldn't be able to deny it.

Before this last show I looked over this brief article of tips for pledge drive.  What I try to hook people with - unsuccessfully, obviously - is the whole idea of community radio.  The idea of a real person playing music in a room, a person who chooses the music, who loves the music, who's the architect & builder of the program you're listening to.  I guess that's not enticing enough.

But could I do better next time, should I be allowed a next time?  I guess I'll have to try.

One good thing is this: defeat never encourages me.  The fact that I didn't do very well the first time was like a gut punch.  The second time was a mild headache.  This last time was simply what I expected would happen.  & I tried not to be a "crabby pledge person" whose "down energy dampens enthusiasm," since no one was listening all the way through.  But toward the end, after half a dozen attempts to get any call at all, I did more or less give up.

How bad was it?  You can listen to the show for the next thirteen days on Radio Free America.  I wish I could edit out the breaks, because I think the Bowie covers were great.  But, you know, not enough to donate to the station that was playing them.

Reminder

There will be no new Self Help Radio this week.  I mentioned it on the show last week, but you might not have heard the show last week, & so I thought I should mention it here this week.

It's funny, if I had still been doing the show on WLXU, I probably would have gotten a show done, since I turned them in on Tuesdays to air on Wednesdays.  But since I'll be out of town Wednesday through Saturday, I won't be able to get a show done.  I don't plan nearly well enough, nor do I have mobile recording equipment so I could record on the fly.

Anyway, you won't miss the show.  But I felt obligated to let you know.

What else do you wanna talk about?

Self Help Radio 051118: Natural Radio

(Self Help Radio logo by Suloni Robertson; sticker from here.)

Yes, finally!  One hundred percent natural radio!  No additives, no chemicals, no weird hormones, no strange preservatives, nothing but radio, except, of course, it's not on the radio at all, it's more pretending to be radio in a podcast-y kind of way, & that's it, isn't it?  The only way in this modern media landscape for radio to be natural is for it not to be on the radio.  & so this week's episode delivers!

Listen to it now or whenever you want at the Self Help Radio website.  It's one giant file, almost two hours long, & everything that's in the show is listed below.  Oh yeah: pay attention, you'll be asked for a username & a password.  Those are "SHR" & "selfhelp" respectively.

Hope you enjoy!  As Wilford Brimley might say, "It's the natural thing to do."

"Natural" The Pale Fountains _Pacific Street_
"Natural" Leon Gardner _Keb Darge's Legendary Deep Funk, Vol. 2_
"Natural" Arrested Development _The Best Of Arrested Development_

show introduction with the Definition-Tron 4000

"Natural Life" Cool Ghouls _Cool Ghouls_
"Natural High" Mike Wallace _Mixed Up Minds Part Five: Obscure Rock & Pop From The British Isles 1970-1974_
"Natural" George Carlin _When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?_
"Natural's Not In It" Gang Of Four _Entertainment!_
"Natural Man" The Dirtbombs _If You Don't Already Have A Look_

interview with naturist David Fruchter

"Natural Woman" Katie Stelmanis _Join Us_
"Natural Guy" Louis Prima & Keely Smith _The Capitol Recordings_
"Act Naturally" The Beatles _Help!_
"Let It Come Naturally" Wilson Pickett _Funky Midnight Mover: The Atlantic Studio Recordings (1962-1978)_
"Alone Again (Naturally)" Squirrels _Scrapin' For Hits_

Gary (a different Gary) calls the Self Help Radio Self Help Line

"I'm A Natural Born Gamblin' Man" Merle Travis _Sixteen Tons_
"Natural Born Lover" Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings _Naturally_
"Mr. Natural" Mental As Anything _Essential As Anything_
"The Natural" Nord Express _Nord Express_
"Natural Kind Of Joy" That Petrol Emotion _Manic Pop Thrill_

Old Man Dickenbock interrupts!

"The Natural Girl For Me" The Chad Mitchell Trio _The Best Of Chad Mitchell Trio: The Mercury Years_
"It's A Natural Fact" Billy Childish & Holly Golightly _In Blood_
"Natural Resources" Utah Phillips & Ani DiFranco _The Past Didn't Go Anywhere_
"Natural History" Desperate Bicycles _Another Commercial Venture_
"Natural High" Bloodstone _Soul Hits Of The '70s: Didn't It Blow Your Mind? Vol. 11_

last airbreak with only a few tears

"Natural Natural Ditty" The Jewels _B-Bomb Baby_
"Natural Soul Brother" Danny White _New Orleans Funk (New Orleans: The Original Sound Of Funk 1960-75)_
"(What's Under) The Natural Do" John Kasandra _The Complete Stax-Volt Singles 1968-1971_
"So Natural" Gold-Bears _Are You Falling In Love?_
"Be Natural" Martin Creed _Love To You_

show post mortem

Whither Natural Radio?

(This image, from here, is from a "natural burial" website.  Use your imagination!)

What the hell is "natural radio"?  You might think field recordings, or perhaps a remote from a pleasing camp site during this lovely green spring.  But nope!  It's just a show where every song somehow invokes the word "natural."

By the way, it won't use the word "supernatural."  It almost did, but then I thought, oh fuck, that would be a pretty good Halloween theme.  You must know I am running out of Halloween themes.  Eventually it will just be me making "booooo" sounds with some cheap wind sound effects for two hours.  Soon.  But not so soon!

So this week, tomorrow at noon, you'll find out what natural radio is.  It's nothing special, it's the same old horse hockey I've done since this show began.  But there are some great tunes.  So I hope you'll listen!

Preface To Natural Radio: Last Minute Shopping

One thing I have always disliked is when one becomes familiar with people who work at a place that one visits regularly.  My sister Pat used to eat it up.  If I went shopping with her, if I were home from college, we'd go to her neighborhood Minyards, & she knew everyone & introduced me to them.  I hated it.  I wanted to buy shit & get out.

When "pay at the pump" was introduced, that was the coolest thing for me.  I remember stopping at a gas station that was closed late one night on my way to or from Austin & just buying gas.  That was cool.  Of course I do that a Costco now but there's a person paid to walk around & say hello to you.  I fucking hate that.  & of course there are "regulars" who talk to that person.

& yeah yeah I'd use self-checkout if I could everywhere I go.

This is a true story: when we first moved to Huntington, which is a small town, I ordered pizza twice from a place.  The second time, the person who answered the phone recognized me & recognized the same order.  I never went back there again.  (This is not entirely about my point - I became vegan in the fall so didn't order pizza anymore.)  (But my wife still brings this up.)

It's like I find it tacky when people want to be friendly like that.  It drives me nuts.

But here's the thing: I don't really like online shopping.  I don't do Amazon because it's a giant monolith that's destroying what's left of offline commerce that Wal-Mart didn't decimate.  But I guess I prefer it to being around actual people.

Having said that, at Sprouts this week, one of the regular cashiers called me "sir" & I told her she could call me Gary.  She said she didn't know, & I said yeah, people like me didn't get to walk around with nametags on.  Though I wish we could!

Well Yeah This Morning

This morning I did tolerably better on the Tuesday Morning Blend for the KNON Pledge Drive.  I actually more than doubled last week's take but, you know, it's not much when I didn't make very much last week.  These are the names of the folks who pledged: Anne, Shelby, Connie, Baron, & Chris.  There have been only five of them.  I remember them all.  Oh, wait.  My wife pledged too.  That was kind of her.  She looks at me with very sad eyes.

Next week I'll do one more, I'm going to do a show about superheroes, someone suggested it, I wrote that person's name down, I'll do a shout-out.  I have to admit I have no idea how to raise money, I'm terrible at it, I wish I were better, such is life.  At some point someone is going to realize they'd be better off putting someone else on the air at that time & I will go quietly.

If you did donate online, here, for example, I won't know about it for a while.  It goes through some Byzantine process to find its way to the final total.  Anyway.  At this point, it doesn't really matter.  I am nowhere near my goal nor will I reach it.  Such are vagaries of radio fund raising.

Wow, this is so damaging to my self-esteem!

Going Back In

Last week, you may recall, I discussed raising money for KNON on the first day of the station's Spring Pledge Drive. I was not sanguine about it, & it turned out it was quite hopeless indeed: I did not do well.

Tomorrow it happens all over again!  Since it's National Teacher Appreciation Day tomorrow (& the whole week is National Teacher Appreciation Week), I thought I'd do a show entirely about teachers & school.  Because, of course, teachers in our society have so much money & they can donate to community radio stations without it affecting their budgets at all.

Yep, I'm fucked.

Self Help Radio 050418: Buttons

(Original image from a button-making company.)

It's here!  The first Self Help Radio on a Friday since - well, since I moved back to Texas & started the show again as a podcast while hoping to find a place on the dial here in the metroplex but having zero luck when suddenly Chuck Clenney at WLXU asked me if I wanted the air the show again in Lexington & I said "Sure!" & did that for like a year & a half.  Since then,  the first one since then.

The show is now a podcast.  I suppose.  I am still treating it like a radio show.  I mean, I've been making the show for the past year & a half in my room so it doesn't feel much different.  Except now, I suppose, I can swear.  Oh no!  I have to warn you about swearing!

Anyway, the show premieres right now at Self Help Radio dot net.  Ah yes, it's a show about buttons.  Did I mention that?  Because of a dream?  I told you that, right?  I put it in one giant, almost two-hour long file.  I hope that's cool.  When you download, if you download, remember this: username SHR, password selfhelp .  It'll work for every file.

Below is what I played plus the extras, like the interviews, you will hear.  I hope you like!

"The Button Man" The Hellers _Singers, Talkers, Players, Swingers, & Doers_
"Bright Golden Buttons" The Highwaymen _Stop! Look! & Listen!_
"Tighten Up Your Tie, Button Up Your Jacket (Make It For The Door)" Aretha Franklin _Take It Like You Give It_
"One Two Button Your Shoe" Billie Holiday & Her Orchestra _1936-1939: Billie Blues_

introducing the Definition-Tron 4000!

"Button Up Your Overcoat" The Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band _Cornology_
"Buttons & Bows" Dinah Shore & Her Happy Valley Boys _The Fabulous Hits Of Dinah Shore_
"Four Button Suit" Bob Riley & The Atoms _Rare Fifties Boston Rockabilly, Vol. 1_
"Six Button Benny" Doc Starkes & The Nite Riders _Apple Cider_
"Brass Buttons" Gram Parsons _Grievous Angel_

interview with Allen Shariaty

"Push A Little Button" Ninette Hartley _Push A Little Button_
"Push De Button" Earl Grant _The End_
"Press My Button, Ring My Bell" Lil Johnson _Copulatin' Blues_
"Push Button Love" The Internationals _Lost Deep Soul Treasures, Vol. 5_
"Bossanova Button" Remington Super 60 _All The Songs From Pling 2001_
"Pushing Buttons" The Mendoza Line _I Like You When You're Not Around_

interview with inventor David Fruchter

"Button Your Lip" Amos Milburn _The Complete Aladdin Recordings Of Amos Milburn_
"Button My Lip" Elvis Costello & The Imposters _The Delivery Man_
"Buttons & Zips" Elbow _A Cast Of Thousands_
"All Buttoned Up" Richard Thompson _Still_

Marge Most interviews archaeologist Benjamin Roundhole

"Bellybutton Song" Music For Aardvarks & Other Mammals _Putumayo Kids Presents Sing Along With Putumayo_
"Billy Button" Mary Ruth Moore _The Art Of Field Recording, Vol. 2: Unaccompanied Songs & Ballads_
"Pushbutton Head" Strawberry Story _Clamming For It_
"Poised Over The Pause Button" This Poison _Magazine 1986-1988_
"Cheap Buttons" Guided By Voices _August By Cake_
"Push Button Geoff" Miss Ludella Black & The Masonics _From This Witness Stand_

last airbreak

"Buttoned Down Disco" Clinton _Disco & The Halfway To Discontent_
"Button Up" The Bloods _New York Noise (Dance Music From The New York Underground 1978-1982)_
"Computer Age (Push The Button)" Newcleus _Jam On Revenge_
"Solo Buttons For Joe Meek" Matmos _The Rose Has Teeth In The Mouth Of A Beast_

post-mortem

Whither Buttons?

(Image from here.)

The first new day/new time Self Help Radio will be about buttons!  But why?  Was it simply too confining on radio to tackle such a controversial topic?  Not at all!  Here's why:

There was a dream.  I was dreaming it.  In the dream, everyone thought I was blind.  But I wasn't.  I was confused.  I was being praised for successfully negotiating rooms & finding things & even reading.  It was painfully obvious I was not blind.  Then I realized that was the point.  People thought I wasn't capable of even the most basic actions, walking across the floor, picking up something someone wanted, looking at a word on a page.  Confusion turned to resentment which turned to rage. But I found myself unable to hurt anyone in the dream, so my anger turned inward.  I was wearing a button-up shirt, & started to tear it off my body.  Like in a movie, in slow motion, buttons flew off the shirt, way more buttons than there actually were on the shirt, really, just too much fucking buttons, & I watched as they fell slowly to the ground, where they bounced once or twice, making a sad, echoey clicking noise as they did.

Everyone noticed what I had done & someone screamed to me, "Pick up those buttons!"  & then someone else said, "He can't see them!"

That may not be the best inspiration for a radio show ever, but I remember the dream, & there will be a show about buttons.  I certainly hope you can handle it.

The show will be available tomorrow, Friday, May 4th, at noon central time.  It will be on the show's website, Self Help Radio dot net.  I'll let you know when it's up.  It's going to be a lot of fun.

New Intro Time Again Again Again Again Again Again!

Every year, at the first of May, with an exception or two, I make a new intro for the show.  It felt appropriate since this week will be the first episode post-WLXU.

With the exception of 2004, there has been a new Self Help Radio intro each year.  I solidified the when around the time I started deejaying on WRFL - a new intro would happen at the beginning of the summer schedule, which happened in May.  It's May.  I would've probably made a new one if the show had stayed on the air in Kentucky.  In any case.

Here's what you'll hear if you download the show Friday:

The 2018 Self Help Radio intro!.

Here are all the other intros.  They vary in quality.  Such is life.  I can't believe I've made sixteen of these!

You can listen to the 2002 intro (my first!) here.

You can listen to the 2003 intro here.

You can listen to the 2005 intro here.

You can listen to the 2006 intro here.

You can listen to the 2007 intro here.

You can listen to the 2008 intro here.

You can listen to the 2009 intro here.

You can listen to the 2010 intro here.

You can listen to the 2011 intro here.

You can listen to the 2012 intro here.

You can listen to the 2013 intro here.

You can listen to the 2014 intro here.

You can listen to the 2015 intro here.

You can listen to the 2016 intro here.

You can listen to the 2017 intro here.

I hope you like it.  If you listen to Self Help Radio, you'll be hearing it every damn week.

That Was Brutal

The wife & I headed up to KNON this morning with a bunch of songs about monkeys in the hopes of raising some money for the station on the first day of Spring Pledge Drive & despite all the monkey songs, we raised very little.

Remember what I said yesterday?  "I have made the mistake of having my self-esteem tied up with how I do with raising money."  So I've naturally felt awful today.  Because while there are certainly different methods for being successful with pledge drives - good premiums, powerful pitches, etc. - it seems the easiest way to encourage people to support what you do is to do a good show, one that people enjoy listening to.  When no one (well, three people) feels moved to help out the needy non-commercial radio station in your show's name, it's hard not to find it an indictment on your abilities as a programmer.

So yeah, I take it as solid evidence that I suck.

To make matters worse, I sat down tonight to watch The Last Jedi for the first time since seeing it in the theater, where I was very surprised that I dug it, & the blu-ray disc fucks up almost exactly at the half-hour mark.

A brutal morning, a disappointing evening.  Let's hope this doesn't feed into an extremely awful episode of Self Help Radio this week.

Raising Dough

Yikes!  Tomorrow is the first day of the Spring Pledge Drive on KNON!  & who has the third show of the Pledge Drive?  This guy!  I repeat: Yikes!

Ever since my first Pledge Drive, which was at KVRX, in which I did terribly, I have made the mistake of having my self-esteem tied up with how I do with raising money.  I've never been good at raising money, & I've never been a terribly popular disc jockey.  But what I want of course is to help the stations that kindly, foolishly let me deejay on their airwaves by making sure they can afford to continue broadcasting.  When I can't do that, it's even worse than the feeling of being disliked (or, worse, ignored).

During the first Pledge Drive this year, I decided on a simple strategy: bring a little Self Help Radio to the Tuesday Morning Blend.  So, my first Pledge Drive show was about money, & my second show was about kissing (since it was the day before Valentine's Day).  I think I did okay.

Tomorrow, I'll do a show about monkeys.  Maybe monkeys will delight listeners enough to open their wallets for KNON?  I sure hope so!

Wish me luck.  I will definitely need it.

Change Is Gonna Come

(I found this image here.)

This past week's Self Help Radio was the last one which will air in Kentucky on WLXU.  It would be fine if they kicked me off the air, but I'm leaving of my own volition for a couple of reasons.

The main one is the show I do on KNON.  I prerecord SHR for WLXU, but I do the Tuesday Morning Blend live, & it happens that Tuesdays is when I turn SHR in to the Lexington station.  So I have been putting two shows together on the same day (Monday) & there's a part of me that feels I haven't been giving them the attention each deserves.  & I love live radio, so if it's a choice between me sitting behind a board & playing music live & talking, or prerecording, I'm going to choose the live one, even if it isn't my beloved Self Help Radio.

The other thing is probably silly, but I listen to WLXU a good amount & it's a very community-focused station, the way radio ought to be.  But I haven't lived in Lexington for almost two years.  I have felt a little like an impostor for a while.

& KNON is about to have its Spring Pledge Drive, & I want to make sure I'm totally present to help raise moolah for that fine station.

What's going to happen to Self Help Radio?  Well, I can't just let it go, it's my deformed child, so I'll return to the podcast format, releasing a new episode every Friday at noon.  I've changed the dates on the web site to reflect that.  If you're one of the few people who actually listen, who knows?  I might try different stuff in a more-freeing podcast format.  But probably not.  I'm so set in my ways!

Listen: I have to thank so many people with regards to WLXU.  Kakie Urch asked me to help with training in the early days & I was glad to, & Hap Houlihan let me do stuff once the place was up & running, including producing the show Cradle To Grave there for a few months.  Extra special happy thanks to Chuck Clenney, who asked me to do the show on WLXU when I had left Kentucky, & to Mary Clark, who had to load my dumb show on the automation every week.  Finally, though I never met him face-to-face, much thanks to new GM Mark Royce who fortunately for me never said, "Why is this foreigner doing a show on this Kentucky station?"  Great people all, & the station is as good as it is because it's had such amazing people behind the scenes & in front of the mics.

Anyway.  Maybe you'll listen to me on Tuesdays & download the show on Fridays?  Maybe?  I hope so.  No pressure.  The pressure's all on me.

Self Help Radio 042518: Indiepop A To Z # 56

(Almost all the images found on Discogs.)

From the Melons to the Milltown brothers, from the UK to the US, up to Germany, down to Spain, over to Japan & up through Mexico, here are thirty-two tracks that I think fit the definition of indiepop, or were influential to indiepop, or had something about them that linked them to that genre. This is the fourth episode in the letter M & I suspect there'll be a lot more.  But you don't have to worry about my OCD alphabetizing again for another four months or so.

The show is now at the Self Help Radio home page, it's two hours long & split into two parts, what's in each part is below.  I hope you find some delightful stuff here - I think it's all great!

(part one)

"Eskimo" The Melons _Black & Blue_
"Sister I'm A Poet" Colin Meloy _Colin Meloy Sings Morrissey_
"32 Sweet Teeth" The Meltations _32 Sweet Teeth_

"The Ali Baba Song" Melvyn & The Smartys _Woosh! Little Teddy Recordings 1991-2001_
"Chinese Whispers" Melys _Chinese Whispers_
"You Supply The Roses" Memphis _You Supply The Roses_
"The Phone Call" Memphis _A Good Day Sailing_
"Boating" The Men Of Westennese _The Sound Of Leamington Spa, Vol. 5_

"Pop Goes The World" Men Without Hats _Greatest Hats_
"I Wonder What Went Wrong" Meow Meow! _I Wonder What Went Wrong_
"So Ist Das Leben" The Merricks _Mit Sonnenschirmen Fingen Wir Den Blütenzauber 12"_
"When You're Young & In Love" Stephin Merritt _Obscurities_
"Vilma (Ábreme La Puerta)" Meteosat _Vilma (Ábreme La Puerta)_

"Sun" Metro _Modapop: Fantasías Veraniegas - Colección Elefant (2003-2004)_
"Spend My Whole Life Loving You" Metro Trinity _The Sound Of Leamington Spa, Vol. 1_

(part two)

"Easy To Say" Metronome _This Is Stereophonic Sunshine_
"One Day Older Than Today" Mexican Kids At Home _Recycled Songs For A Happy Environment_
"Wonderful Lie" Mexico 70 _Wonderful Lie_

"Cada Dia Es Domingo (Everyday Is Like Sunday)" Mexrrissey _No Manchester_
"Chapel Gravel" Miabeane & The Asthmatic Scene _Birdsongs, Beesongs: Eardrums Spring Compilation 2009_
"When It All Comes Down" Miaow _When It All Comes Down_
"Dolly" Microdisney _Scared To Get Happy (A Story Of Indie-Pop 1980-1989)_
"Why Didn't My Parents Buy Me A Casino" Micromars _Metro_

"My Biggest Thrill" The Mighty Lemon Drops _Happy Head_
"Built Like A Car" Mighty Mighty _A Band From Birmingham_
"Dying To Hear From You" Miles Dethmuffen _Miles Dethmuffen EP_
"Morrissey, Jeff Mangum, Stephin Merritt, John Darnielle" Mikrofisch _Masters Of The Universe_
"Just A Girl" Milk _Blackbean & Placenta Sampler No. 3 1999-2000_

"The Emperor Of Oranges" Milky _Travels With A Donkey_
"Burgeois Blues 99" Milky Wimpshake _Lovers Not Fighters_
"Rain Come Down" Million Sellers _Shreds, Vol. 3_
"Roses" Milltown Brothers _Coming From The Mill 1989_

Whither Indiepop A To Z # 56?

(I found this image over there.)

Many years ago, on my deathbed, I took my as-yet-unborn children by the hand & I said to them, "Your father did many, many foolish things in his day, my loving sprogs.  Initially I thought women would be impressed by my doggedness when later I realized it was stalking.  There were people in the service industry who should never had had to deal with me at all.  No one - I repeat no one - needn't suffer to hear me sing.  & of course I never should have had that last cookie.  But my one regret," I told them, hoping they could hear me over the sound of their little hearts breaking, "is that I never finished the indiepop a to z series on the radio.  Could you do that for me, my descendants, my heirs, my quite probably illegitimate offspring?"

They looked kindly into my fading eyes & checked their phones.  But one of them - the youngest, or maybe the oldest, or possibly one of those in-between, smiled & said, "Of course, father.  But what is radio?"

That dismal future happened too long ago, but it's never too late for me to prevent it happening again.  So please listen to another installment of the indiepop a to z series on tonight's Self Help Radio which is on WLXU, 93.9 fm in Lexington & online as well from 9-11pm eastern.  Your past self will thank you, or curse you.  It's not anything I can predict.

Bob Dorough

The great Bob Dorough died today (you can read his New York Times obituary here) & I was lucky I was on the radio this morning so I could play one of his songs.  & not just any song: I played Three Is A Magic Number, the first song he wrote for what would become Schoolhouse Rock.

It's hard to overstate the effect that those songs & cartoons had on me as a child.  I was an avid watcher of Saturday Morning television, & I would put my mother's cassette tape recorder up to the little black & white television we had to record the songs (videotaping would have seemed like crazy science fiction to me) to listen to over & over.  In first grade (or maybe second), I mentioned to my teacher that I recorded them, & she asked me to bring them up to play to the class; I remember being embarrassed because I would read the little credit at the end of the cartoon, whether it was "grammar rock" or "science rock" or "multiplication rock."  The class laughed when they heard my voice on the tape.

How incredibly serendipitous that a man like Bob Dorough - a true lover of music - & a clever songwriter himself - came to not only write many of the songs, but shepherded them as Music Director for the project.  He brought in old friends like Blossom Dearie to sing some of the tunes, & the styles were diverse & mesmerizing.  I can't speak to any real knowledge about psychology, but I am willing to surmise that my own often unwieldy taste in many kinds of music may have its roots in the genres & voices Dorough encouraged & brought to the project.

Life went on.  I grew up.  I didn't watch cartoons on Saturday mornings any more.  (Saturdays I slept in.)  Then one day in twelfth grade I was at my friend Joe's house & he had an actual Multiplication Rock record.  Holy shit.  (It was this one here.)  I didn't imagine such a thing existed - it would've been like discovering a record that had all my favorite television themes on it!  I borrowed it, I taped it, I tried to share my enthusiasm with my friends.  Some were not amused - later on, my friend Russell told me that he was trying to get me interested in serious music in high school & all I cared about was "children's music."

Maybe I felt a bit of vindication when, in the 1990s, they released all the Schoolhouse Rock stuff on CD, & trendy bands covered them, & even America's Sweetheart Drew Barrymore wrote a forward for the box set booklet.  But mainly I was glad to have them - I play them regularly on my show, & even played "Lolly, Lolly, Lolly, Get Your Adverbs Here" last week on Self Help Radio.

& that dear man, that soft-spoken, Southern-accented man whose nimble fingers & quick wit made those songs that I love as much as anything I love, I am going to say he's responsible for much of my love of music.  He made learning fun, he helped me learn my times tables, his voice in my head made me realize possibilities in music I simply didn't know about at the age of five, six, seven, eight.  That it's been decades & I'm still thinking about this music - still playing it on the radio! - suggests that his work - & this includes his non-Schoolhouse Rock work, which I discovered later - it suggests that what Bob Dorough made in his long life has an element of the timeless about it.

Thank you, good sir.  I think you understood how much you were appreciated, & how much what you created was loved.  It was the best thing to have grown up with your music in my life's soundtrack.

Placeholder

Hold this.
Where?
In place.
What place?
Any place.
Any place?
Any place.  But here.
Then where?
When where?
Maybe now where?
Maybe nowhere.
So where?
So we're safe.
& sound?
& sound is all we'll hear.
Here?
Anywhere.
Where is anywhere?
It has to be somewhere.
Where some are?
Some but not all.
Hardy any?
Softly most.
Mostly?
It's the least you can do.
Can I?
If you must.
Must I?
If you may.
May I?
If you can.
& if I can't?
Then give it back to me.

Often Forgotten

This is a thing I do: I go the usual way to get from place to place & then, if I have a little time, I turn, right or left, & go in that direction for a little while.  I often take pictures when I do that.  I often have enough sense of direction to not get completely turned around, but will often rely on the GPS to get me back home.  But this metroplex I live in is defined by sprawl & there's so much space, & so many people in that space.

Maybe my favorite thing to see & take pictures of is an abandoned building, whether a home or business, waiting for time or gentrification to destroy or reinhabit it.  This part of the world values new over old - it's crazy how many lovely old homes there are that exist, build just in the 1950s or 60s, but people still buy hastily-constructed McMansions - but there are still some decaying treasures out there, often flanked by fast food joints or unattractive, boxy strip malls.

There were many abandoned homes in Huntington, West Virginia, where I lived from 2009-2010, but I didn't take many pictures then.  The convenience of the digital camera had yet to find me.  If I went back, I would take tons.  I don't think I'll ever go back, though.

When I am out & about, I drive slowly, I make sure I'm on a four-lane road so angry drivers can zoom in frustration past my little Prius.  If I want to take a picture, I'll need to slow down or even stop.  Today I went around the block a couple of times to get a picture.  Back when I started taking pictures, in Lexington, friends warned me that I might get beaten up by people suspicious of me, but I try not to be so obvious.  Last year, in Oakland, a homeless man yelled at me & started to chase me because I guess I took a picture of his tent, but that's as close to danger as I've ever been in.

Anyway, I drove a little around Grand Prairie today, which no longer has a prairie in its city limits.  I took a few pictures.  I went from one highway to another, & was a little disappointed when it seemed I was heading home.

If you'd like to see some of the pictures I take that I like, I put them on the show's Tumblr blog.  Yes, they would be more appropriate on Instagram, but I don't think there was an Instagram when I started that blog.  It's nothing special, just like me, but it's something I enjoy.

One thing, though: I wish it were easier to get lost in this world.

Self Help Radio 041818: Markets

(Original image here.)

Hooray!  It's market day!  Make sure you have cash!  Get those reusable bags!  Don't make a list - we'll just buy whatever catches our eye!  Do you wanna bike there?  Drive?  Are you crazy?  To the market?  Well, you can drive but I'm gonna bike!  Or walk!  Let's take the dogs!  Let's take the neighbor's dogs!  Let's take the neighbors!  It's motherfucking market day!

& so it went on this week's Self Help Radio, a show about markets of all kinds but let's face it it's mainly about supermarkets & the like.  People just don't write songs about market forces or stock markets or even marketing come to think of it.  But supermarkets, oh yeah.  We're in those fuckers all the time.  Do you remember that episode of Happy Days where the Fonz taught Richie how easy it was to pick up women in the supermarket?  & he accidentally hit on Richie's mother?  That was funny.  Where was I?  I don't really remember.

The show is now at the Self Help Radio website.  It's free to download but look for the username & password (which are on the front page there) or you won't get to listen.  There are lots of songs & also guests in both parts & what's in each part is listed below.

Does this seem organic?  It doesn't look organic to me.

"At The Market" Remington Super 60 _Indie Pop For Kids, Vol. 1_
"Open Air Market" Petrikis _Open Air Market_
"Market Place" Etta James _Etta James R & B Dynamite_

"Market Day" The Brotherhood Of Lizards _Lizardland_
"Down To The Market" The Kooks _Konk_
"A Supermarket In California" Allen Ginsberg _Howls, Raps, & Roars: Recordings From The San Francisco Poetry Renaissance_
"Supermarket Blues" Eugene McDaniels _Headless Heroes Of The Apocalypse_
"Let's Loot The Supermarket Again Like We Did Last Summer" Mick Farren _The Stiff Records Box Set_

interview with "the Market Guy" Lorenzo Schwab

"Lost In The Supermarket" The Clash _London Calling_
"Fairytale In The Supermarket" The Raincoats _The Raincoats_
"Supermarket" Iggy Pop _Skull Ring_
"Shoplifters Of The World Unite" The Smiths _Louder Than Bombs_
"Shoplifters Market" Firesign Theater _Eat Or Be Eaten_

"Queen Of The Supermarket" Bruce Springsteen _Working On A Dream_
"Supermarket" Earl Sinks _The Man With 1000 Names_
"Supermarket Full Of Cans" The Eyes Of Blue _The Mod Scene_
"I'm In The Market For You (Don Howard, vocals)" Ben Selvin & His Orchestra _The Very Best Of Ben Selvin_

interview with Paul Krugman Karl Proogman

"Go Shoppin' (feat. Eek-A-Mouse)" Bran Van 3000 _Discosis_
"The Market Of Farms" Artichoke _Etchy Sketchy Skies_
"Matt Neffer: At The Supermarket" Bob & Ray _Classic: Volume 3_
"Abominable Snowman In The Market" Jonathan Richman & The Modern Lovers _Jonathan Richman & The Modern Lovers_
"Supermarket Scene" Icecream Hands _You Can Ride My Bike: The Best Of Icecream Hands_

interview with grocer David Fruchter

"Lolly, Lolly, Lolly, Get Your Adverbs Here" Bob Dorough _Schoolhouse Rock: Grammar Rock_
"Stone Cold Dead In The Market (He Had It Coming) (with Ella Fitzgerald)" Louis Jordan _Louis Jordan & His Tympany Five, Vol. 3: 1944-1946_
"Le Supermarché" Les Calamités _Les Calamités_
"Shopaholic" Bis _Social Dancing_
"Electronique Supermarket" Skanfrom _Cashier Escape Route_

"Supermarket Casanova" Hyperbubble _Candy Apple Daydreams_
"Touching Boys (In Supermarkets)" Alice & The Enemies _Alice & The Enemies_

Whither Markets?

That picture above is one I took of the Fort Worth Public Market, an urban ruin which once, the Wikipedia says, "housed various businesses such as grocers, bakers, & butchers."  It continues, "At its peak, the Public Market had space for 145 farmer & vendor stalls & 30 permanent retail shops."  Most interesting to me is that the space had a weekly radio show on WBAP during its life!

It is no longer at its peak.  There's more information here, but fascinatingly, it was built in 1930 but succumbed to the effects of the Great Depression & closed as a market in 1941.  That's not terribly long.  It housed various businesses but hasn't had a tenant since 2004.  The area around it, however, is being gentrified, so there's always the chance that it'll experience another rebirth at some point.  But probably not as a market.

The picture was taken earlier this year, before I even knew I'd be doing a show about markets.  I just happened to run across it today, as I was mulling over what sort of nonsense I'd write about tonight's episode.  The city is full of abandoned buildings like this.  All around the metroplex, especially in the expansive suburbs, cheap apartment complexes are being built, along highways, on the former prairies that used to circle the cities.  Meanwhile inside the cities places like this are left to rot.  It's a wonder they leave the edifices up.

(Well, they have to in this case - it was designated a Texas Historical Landmark in 1980.  I think that's what's prevented the wrecking ball from obliterating it entirely.)

Though I probably won't mention this market on tonight's show, there are many other markets to note, so have a listen, if you'd like, from 9-11pm eastern at 93.9 fm in Lexington & online at Lexington community radio dot org.  This markets has plenty of things you'll want & they're all free!