Last night I completed a couple of shows for KBOO - the studio has been closed for some time to staff because of the pandemic, & don't get me wrong, I think that's a very good idea. The station has more volunteers than any place I've ever been involved at, & that decision was for the safety of everyone. But some folks don't have the ability to prerecord their shows from home, & so the dedicated & frankly unstoppable staff have been filling in when needed. It was the absolute least I could do to help out with some content.
So, yeah, I finished two shows - & they're going to be on the air tomorrow! That's very gratifying & I hope you can listen. The first - which is a show about breakfast - & which leans heavily on an episode of Self Help Radio I did over ten years ago will air at 11am, & the second - a show about ambition - which borrows liberally from an episode of Self Help Radio from five years ago will air at 3pm.
Is it weird that I will be on KBOO during the day? Yes! Is it sad that it's prerecorded? Heck no! I honestly wish I could do more, but in addition to keeping myself sane in these dark days, I have a wife & many animals I need to care about as well. I am quite busy.
If you can listen at 90.7fm or at kboo.fm tomorrow, that will be swell. I'll announce it over on the show's Facebook page as well as on the Self Help Radio twitter, & I'll probably live tweet the shows.
See you tomorrow!
Saturday, March 28, 2020
Friday, March 27, 2020
Spending This Rainy Day
Making imaginary radio shows.
They're not really imaginary - they will possibly (probably?) air on the station for which I am making them. They take me a bit of time despite the fact that I am purposely repurposing old Self Help Radio shows. What's taking me some time is that I am adding new songs, I am relistening to the songs in case there are FCC violations, & I am of course recording new airbreaks which is what takes the most time even though I am keeping them short. Well, short for me.
The truth is, I am amazed - really, kinda flabbergasted - by deejays who just come on, back announce, & sign off. I wish (sort of) I could do that. In the case of this situation - creating content to keep stations on the air while the stations are closed to regular programmers - I don't feel comfortable being as chatty as I am when it's my show & a listener can be expected to deal with my loud mouth.
Tonight's goal - & the goal for the next few days - is a couple of hours a day. Although - I have created six hours for Freeform & the joke now is that that's what you hear when you turn the station on. I know I can destroy a lot of goodwill with overexposure. Maybe they'll take my recordings out of circulation once there's more new material.
In any event - these shows I'm doing I may well share with you, at some point. & I'll have a new Self Help Radio & Dickenbock Report in April. That's a kind of exciting, isn't it? It's keeping my anxiety at bay for the moment, anyway.
They're not really imaginary - they will possibly (probably?) air on the station for which I am making them. They take me a bit of time despite the fact that I am purposely repurposing old Self Help Radio shows. What's taking me some time is that I am adding new songs, I am relistening to the songs in case there are FCC violations, & I am of course recording new airbreaks which is what takes the most time even though I am keeping them short. Well, short for me.
The truth is, I am amazed - really, kinda flabbergasted - by deejays who just come on, back announce, & sign off. I wish (sort of) I could do that. In the case of this situation - creating content to keep stations on the air while the stations are closed to regular programmers - I don't feel comfortable being as chatty as I am when it's my show & a listener can be expected to deal with my loud mouth.
Tonight's goal - & the goal for the next few days - is a couple of hours a day. Although - I have created six hours for Freeform & the joke now is that that's what you hear when you turn the station on. I know I can destroy a lot of goodwill with overexposure. Maybe they'll take my recordings out of circulation once there's more new material.
In any event - these shows I'm doing I may well share with you, at some point. & I'll have a new Self Help Radio & Dickenbock Report in April. That's a kind of exciting, isn't it? It's keeping my anxiety at bay for the moment, anyway.
Thursday, March 26, 2020
Three New Shows (Or Are They "New" Shows)
Over at the Self Help Radio website, I've added three playlists. Two are for episodes of the Dickenbock Report, this morning's & the one that aired two weeks ago. This morning's was prerecorded; the previous one was live. Both are over at the KBOO website, where they archive all their shows. Mine are under the name "Alright Radio" because for some reason I can't access the Dickenbock Report page from Spinitron. Yes, I have submitted a ticket to tech support. I suspect there are more important things going on that require their attention at this time.
The third is a Freeform sub show which I made the Monday before last when the station needed content. Interestingly, this show was on the air this afternoon when I was running errands. It's a mix of all kinds of songs, & I interrupt from time-to-time to back-announce. I try to keep it brief. I hope the music is fun to listen to.
My plans for the weekend include working on the next Self Help Radio & making a couple more mixes for these stations. As you may have heard, the United States now has the most Coronavirus cases in the world. So I suspect I may be doing this sort of thing for a few more weeks.
Maybe these shows will be diverting. In any event, there they are. I mean, really - over there. At the Self Help Radio website.
The third is a Freeform sub show which I made the Monday before last when the station needed content. Interestingly, this show was on the air this afternoon when I was running errands. It's a mix of all kinds of songs, & I interrupt from time-to-time to back-announce. I try to keep it brief. I hope the music is fun to listen to.
My plans for the weekend include working on the next Self Help Radio & making a couple more mixes for these stations. As you may have heard, the United States now has the most Coronavirus cases in the world. So I suspect I may be doing this sort of thing for a few more weeks.
Maybe these shows will be diverting. In any event, there they are. I mean, really - over there. At the Self Help Radio website.
Monday, March 23, 2020
Things That Will Happen This Week (& Later I Guess)
Besides Texas grandparents sacrificing themselves for the economy, I mean.
Can I number them? I'm going to number them.
1) There'll be a new episode of the The Dickenbock Report on Thursday morning. It won't be anything special (when is anything I do ever special?) but it'll be something new from me, & it'll be on the air, though prerecorded. Special bonus: it'll feature a report by none other than the Rev. Dr. Howard Gently!
2) Yes, I believe I'll share with you one or more of my recent prerecorded shows for Freeform. I was asked on Twitter about sharing old, not-currently-available episodes of Self Help Radio, & I may do that too.
3) This week I'll also prepare a couple more mixes for Freeform. They're fun to do, & until the station management decides how to restore some semblance of the schedule - to put shows on during their regular timeslot - I like to give them some content to play whenever, & keep it fairly fresh.
& finally 4) Since I don't know just when I'll be able to get back into the studios at KBOO & Freeform, I'll resume doing Self Help Radio as a podcast in April. Things might be more dire in the world, but hopefully I'll have gotten enough of my shit together to do that. Whether it airs on Freeform is a different thing entirely. But I'll release the show on Mondays starting April 6.
& with that, I take a couple days break from this blog. How fucking strange is this world right now? I can't even. I really can't even.
Can I number them? I'm going to number them.
1) There'll be a new episode of the The Dickenbock Report on Thursday morning. It won't be anything special (when is anything I do ever special?) but it'll be something new from me, & it'll be on the air, though prerecorded. Special bonus: it'll feature a report by none other than the Rev. Dr. Howard Gently!
2) Yes, I believe I'll share with you one or more of my recent prerecorded shows for Freeform. I was asked on Twitter about sharing old, not-currently-available episodes of Self Help Radio, & I may do that too.
3) This week I'll also prepare a couple more mixes for Freeform. They're fun to do, & until the station management decides how to restore some semblance of the schedule - to put shows on during their regular timeslot - I like to give them some content to play whenever, & keep it fairly fresh.
& finally 4) Since I don't know just when I'll be able to get back into the studios at KBOO & Freeform, I'll resume doing Self Help Radio as a podcast in April. Things might be more dire in the world, but hopefully I'll have gotten enough of my shit together to do that. Whether it airs on Freeform is a different thing entirely. But I'll release the show on Mondays starting April 6.
& with that, I take a couple days break from this blog. How fucking strange is this world right now? I can't even. I really can't even.
Sunday, March 22, 2020
Days Like No Other
On Sundays I usually spend a great deal of time working on Self Help Radio. I usually have hours of music to listen to (but I've hopefully done that before Sunday) which means I have many songs to sift through. I have my silly interviews & "comedy" to edit. I have the entire thing to put together & then to write stuff about. Because of the fake interviews, I don't write as much as I used to - that work is being done for the Dickenbock Report now - but there's still information to look for & organize.
Maybe I've not mentioned this, but when we moved to Oregon - gosh, it's almost been a year - we worried a bit about our dogs. In Texas they had a magnificent backyard, but the rental we got had a treeless, almost grassless square in the back that would have perhaps made a great "beginner's yard," but was nothing to write home about. So, to engage the pups - already traumatized by the four-day journey across half the country - we started walking them twice a day. The walks - in the morning & evening, when possible - take about an hour each time, often more. That means some time between an eighth & a sixth of my waking hours is spent walking dogs.
Not that I don't enjoy it, & not that I'm unaware of the health benefits to me. But it can be quite a hole blown into one's daily routine when one has a lot of work to do. & Sundays - since September - have been quite busy days for me.
Until last week. That's when I decided, upon hearing that Freeform was closing its doors to help deal with the pandemic, that I'd not do Self Help Radio for a while, with the excuse that I preferred to do it live. & that Sunday was just fucking weird.
This Sunday has been worse. I have this sense - I'm sure I'll feel it tomorrow morning too - that I'm not doing what I should be doing. I am unable to enjoy this as if it were a vacation. Although to be fair enjoying anything at all in these times seems awkward & even impolite.
Though, please, enjoy life. We'll need something like joy to help us through this. It's obvious very few who are "in charge" - I speak of those at the national level - have any real sense of the urgency of this & will many blame others when the dust settles & we see what's left.
Which is ultimately why it's weird to talk about my life or my dumb radio show. Dylan once sang,
I wish I'd been a doctor
Maybe I'd have saved some lives that'd been lost
Maybe I could've done some good in the world
Instead of burning every bridge I crossed
It's astonishing to hear Bob Dylan be so self-piteous - his music has helped me beyond calculation - but I sympathize with the sentiment. The best I've done this past week is cooked for the wife & made prerecorded radio shows for Freeform. Yes, I've avoided hoarding toilet paper & willfully defying social distancing requirements, but even I can't imagine being such an asshole.
How weird to yearn for the Sundays I was scrambling to put a radio show together! They seem so far away - two weeks ago! - & in a world that simply no longer exists.
Maybe I've not mentioned this, but when we moved to Oregon - gosh, it's almost been a year - we worried a bit about our dogs. In Texas they had a magnificent backyard, but the rental we got had a treeless, almost grassless square in the back that would have perhaps made a great "beginner's yard," but was nothing to write home about. So, to engage the pups - already traumatized by the four-day journey across half the country - we started walking them twice a day. The walks - in the morning & evening, when possible - take about an hour each time, often more. That means some time between an eighth & a sixth of my waking hours is spent walking dogs.
Not that I don't enjoy it, & not that I'm unaware of the health benefits to me. But it can be quite a hole blown into one's daily routine when one has a lot of work to do. & Sundays - since September - have been quite busy days for me.
Until last week. That's when I decided, upon hearing that Freeform was closing its doors to help deal with the pandemic, that I'd not do Self Help Radio for a while, with the excuse that I preferred to do it live. & that Sunday was just fucking weird.
This Sunday has been worse. I have this sense - I'm sure I'll feel it tomorrow morning too - that I'm not doing what I should be doing. I am unable to enjoy this as if it were a vacation. Although to be fair enjoying anything at all in these times seems awkward & even impolite.
Though, please, enjoy life. We'll need something like joy to help us through this. It's obvious very few who are "in charge" - I speak of those at the national level - have any real sense of the urgency of this & will many blame others when the dust settles & we see what's left.
Which is ultimately why it's weird to talk about my life or my dumb radio show. Dylan once sang,
I wish I'd been a doctor
Maybe I'd have saved some lives that'd been lost
Maybe I could've done some good in the world
Instead of burning every bridge I crossed
It's astonishing to hear Bob Dylan be so self-piteous - his music has helped me beyond calculation - but I sympathize with the sentiment. The best I've done this past week is cooked for the wife & made prerecorded radio shows for Freeform. Yes, I've avoided hoarding toilet paper & willfully defying social distancing requirements, but even I can't imagine being such an asshole.
How weird to yearn for the Sundays I was scrambling to put a radio show together! They seem so far away - two weeks ago! - & in a world that simply no longer exists.
Saturday, March 21, 2020
Saturday Night's All Right For Fighting
Someone told me today was the first day of Spring but Googly says it was Thursday. Here's a question: does time even matter anymore? Here's a follow-up: what the actual fuck?
Yesterday I said I'd try to get stuff done but I finished the night staying up really late & binging coronavirus websites & then watching two Cinemasins episodes about two movies I'll never watch.
That's no excuse but a good night's sleep would be nice. I wonder what that would feel like in this day & age.
One thing I keep finding myself doing is hearing old classic rock songs from my youth in my head & revisiting them on Youtube. Mostly it's a disappointment - I will for example like a section of the song but find most of it quite silly - especially noodly guitar solos - but mostly I'm surprised how many of them have lyrics I simply never quite knew. Like the Elton John song after which this post is named. Here's a little background:
The first album I ever owned, the first record that was exclusively mine, was Elton John's Greatest Hits. I loved it mainly for the song "Rocket Man" (though I had yet to see William Shatner's definitive version) & possibly "Daniel," a song that always freaked me out for some reason. Anyway, the song "Saturday Night's All Right For Fighting" - & yeah, I know it's "Alright," I just can't bring myself to use the incorrect grammatical word, I'm sorry - that song never really grabbed me, & part of the reason why that I heard the lyrics wrong.
"Saturday's night all right for fighting, get a little action in," is how it goes. For some reason - might it be because I got the record in 1976? - I thought the song said, "even in an election year." There was a part of my eight-year-old mind that somehow accepted the premise that you shouldn't fight in election years, but Elton John was arguing that that indeed was fine. Wanna scuffle on a Saturday in 1968? Totally cool. Bash some brains between Friday & Sunday in 1972? Go for it. Beat up some drunkards on a weekend in 1980? You can do it dude! Eight year old me appreciated the specificity but found it a tad unrelatable.
How many lyrics have I heard wrong my entire life? You could narrow it down to Elvis Costello lyrics & it would be a troubling number.
Not as troubling as the world is right now, & who knows, maybe my mind is attempting to comfort me with soothing sounds from my childhood. They might have been soothing then, but of course old Gary does find a lot of them, as I said, a little silly. Still, keep 'em coming. It's a welcome respite from the news which has no hope for any of us in sight.
Wait, I shouldn't speak for everyone. The very rich will come through this all right. They always do.
Yesterday I said I'd try to get stuff done but I finished the night staying up really late & binging coronavirus websites & then watching two Cinemasins episodes about two movies I'll never watch.
That's no excuse but a good night's sleep would be nice. I wonder what that would feel like in this day & age.
One thing I keep finding myself doing is hearing old classic rock songs from my youth in my head & revisiting them on Youtube. Mostly it's a disappointment - I will for example like a section of the song but find most of it quite silly - especially noodly guitar solos - but mostly I'm surprised how many of them have lyrics I simply never quite knew. Like the Elton John song after which this post is named. Here's a little background:
The first album I ever owned, the first record that was exclusively mine, was Elton John's Greatest Hits. I loved it mainly for the song "Rocket Man" (though I had yet to see William Shatner's definitive version) & possibly "Daniel," a song that always freaked me out for some reason. Anyway, the song "Saturday Night's All Right For Fighting" - & yeah, I know it's "Alright," I just can't bring myself to use the incorrect grammatical word, I'm sorry - that song never really grabbed me, & part of the reason why that I heard the lyrics wrong.
"Saturday's night all right for fighting, get a little action in," is how it goes. For some reason - might it be because I got the record in 1976? - I thought the song said, "even in an election year." There was a part of my eight-year-old mind that somehow accepted the premise that you shouldn't fight in election years, but Elton John was arguing that that indeed was fine. Wanna scuffle on a Saturday in 1968? Totally cool. Bash some brains between Friday & Sunday in 1972? Go for it. Beat up some drunkards on a weekend in 1980? You can do it dude! Eight year old me appreciated the specificity but found it a tad unrelatable.
How many lyrics have I heard wrong my entire life? You could narrow it down to Elvis Costello lyrics & it would be a troubling number.
Not as troubling as the world is right now, & who knows, maybe my mind is attempting to comfort me with soothing sounds from my childhood. They might have been soothing then, but of course old Gary does find a lot of them, as I said, a little silly. Still, keep 'em coming. It's a welcome respite from the news which has no hope for any of us in sight.
Wait, I shouldn't speak for everyone. The very rich will come through this all right. They always do.
Friday, March 20, 2020
Panic & Depression
People text me - some email me - it's really been just a couple of people - a couple of people have either texted or emailed me - they ask me how I'm doing. I say I spend a lot of time feeling panicked & a lot of time feeling depressed. My wife isn't a terribly empathetic person & she doesn't really know how to deal with me in times like this. Of course, I've known her for almost twenty years, I don't expect her to.
There's Twitter, there's the news, there's online reading, there's Next Door dot com. There's walking the dogs in glorious spring weather - it's supposed to rain in a few days, maybe that fix something with my mood - there's so many people at home, outside, they're walking their dogs, they're taking their kids to the park. Some are truly foolish - my wife noticed people playing volleyball - at least ten people touching the same ball & batting it to one another - & she said, "The winner of that game is COVID-19." We've stopped letting people pet our dogs - & the smarter people don't try.
Tonight I went to get some food at a vegan Chinese place & they basically made us pay over the phone & put the food out on a table in the foyer. They texted us when it was ready. That seems completely crazy. But welcome to this world.
& everyone's saying it'll get worse before it gets better. My god, look at Italy.
But as far as I know I'm healthy (probably not, but for now...) & I have stuff to do. I finished my third Freeform prerecord, that was fun, maybe I'll share them on the website. I will spend the weekend working on the Dickenbock Report. Last week at this time - last week! - I had decided to stop doing Sugar Substitute because I was too exhausted. Now I could have three episodes of that in the can. But it's best to do it for Freeform - right now people are making cool mixes for rotation. It's adventurous to listen now.
Okay, I'm going to try to forge ahead. Try to get shit done. Try not to be overwhelmed by this strange world we're going to have to live in for some time. It's been a week! Five days ago I waited in line at Costco for toilet paper. I don't even want to repeat what I've read online today. Although this article was a true fucking delight: Texas Antivaxxers Fear Mandatory COVID-19 Vaccines More Than The Virus Itself. Really? Holy shit.
There's Twitter, there's the news, there's online reading, there's Next Door dot com. There's walking the dogs in glorious spring weather - it's supposed to rain in a few days, maybe that fix something with my mood - there's so many people at home, outside, they're walking their dogs, they're taking their kids to the park. Some are truly foolish - my wife noticed people playing volleyball - at least ten people touching the same ball & batting it to one another - & she said, "The winner of that game is COVID-19." We've stopped letting people pet our dogs - & the smarter people don't try.
Tonight I went to get some food at a vegan Chinese place & they basically made us pay over the phone & put the food out on a table in the foyer. They texted us when it was ready. That seems completely crazy. But welcome to this world.
& everyone's saying it'll get worse before it gets better. My god, look at Italy.
But as far as I know I'm healthy (probably not, but for now...) & I have stuff to do. I finished my third Freeform prerecord, that was fun, maybe I'll share them on the website. I will spend the weekend working on the Dickenbock Report. Last week at this time - last week! - I had decided to stop doing Sugar Substitute because I was too exhausted. Now I could have three episodes of that in the can. But it's best to do it for Freeform - right now people are making cool mixes for rotation. It's adventurous to listen now.
Okay, I'm going to try to forge ahead. Try to get shit done. Try not to be overwhelmed by this strange world we're going to have to live in for some time. It's been a week! Five days ago I waited in line at Costco for toilet paper. I don't even want to repeat what I've read online today. Although this article was a true fucking delight: Texas Antivaxxers Fear Mandatory COVID-19 Vaccines More Than The Virus Itself. Really? Holy shit.
Thursday, March 19, 2020
Can I Tell You Something?
This might be weird. I did it for so long. But I don't really like prerecording my shows.
This is something I admit as I am actively prerecording shows for Freeform Portland, & as I plan to prerecord one or more Dickenbock Reports for KBOO.
Here's the thing: I don't want to do it for Self Help Radio. I feel the need to apologize. But I spent so long doing the show prerecorded, I simply prefer to do it live.
But I know I won't be able to do it live for a while. So maybe - not do it?
Things are changing fast, my mind might change in a week. But there won't be a new Self Help Radio - even as a podcast - next week.
That's what I wanted to tell you. I hope that's okay.
This is something I admit as I am actively prerecording shows for Freeform Portland, & as I plan to prerecord one or more Dickenbock Reports for KBOO.
Here's the thing: I don't want to do it for Self Help Radio. I feel the need to apologize. But I spent so long doing the show prerecorded, I simply prefer to do it live.
But I know I won't be able to do it live for a while. So maybe - not do it?
Things are changing fast, my mind might change in a week. But there won't be a new Self Help Radio - even as a podcast - next week.
That's what I wanted to tell you. I hope that's okay.
Monday, March 16, 2020
It Felt Weird
Not doing a show today. I'll podcast next week. I'm making some freeform shows for random play on Freeform, maybe I'll share them on my web site.
Fuck, it's just generally weird out here. I waited in line at Costco for toilet paper today. & I suspect it will just get stranger.
Fuck, it's just generally weird out here. I waited in line at Costco for toilet paper today. & I suspect it will just get stranger.
Sunday, March 15, 2020
Whither Virus Cancels Self Help Radio?
(Original image here.)
In case you haven't heard - or you haven't read this blog - both KBOO & Freeform Portland have closed their studios for the time being in response to the coronavirus. This means I won't be able to do Self Help Radio this week or perhaps for several weeks. (But you know me - I'll probably make a podcast next week. The reason I didn't do it this week is because I was waiting to hear what the plan was for prerecords or other broadcast options, & I just got the news this morning. Not enough time, alas, to make a podcast.) Okay, most of this post is parenthetical. That's bad writing, right there.
Yes, this is disappointing but I am 100% behind the decision at Freeform. The news we get from the rest of the world is a horror story, & everyone is advising us to act as if we're already infected & that means not infecting anyone else. That's a good idea & I am proud of the decisive action taken at both stations. (I will have a prerecord of the Dickenbock Report for the week after next, although I'm not sure if it will air at its regular time at this point.)
This is a bummer but eventually this virus will be contained & we can go back to whatever semblance of normal is left. I myself have been a bit depressed about it all but will do what I can to help. I'll keep you apprised of any radio appearances I may have & most probably (like I said) will make a Self Help Radio podcast in a week.
Please take care of yourselves.
Saturday, March 14, 2020
Preface To Surprise: Would It Surprise You If There Were No Self Help Radio This Week?
It wouldn't surprise me.
Yesterday I wrote:
I expect - despite how fucked up the world is right now - I expect I will be in the Freeform studios for Self Help Radio come Monday.
But don't quote me on that. Everything is in flux, everything is completely crazy.
The folks at Freeform closed the studios this afternoon. I mentioned they were exploring remote broadcasting options, but one station Board member said "we aren't going to remote broadcast in the short term." I have been waiting for a confirmation email, & I have been working on Self Help Radio, but I suspect that there won't be one this week.
There hasn't been any information from KBOO about submitting shows, either. I spent most of today wondering what the next couple of months will mean for me, radio wise. I suspect at some point in there I may be battling a virus - as will many others.
Surprise! A radio show about surprise is (not surprisingly?) probably not going to happen!
Yesterday I wrote:
I expect - despite how fucked up the world is right now - I expect I will be in the Freeform studios for Self Help Radio come Monday.
But don't quote me on that. Everything is in flux, everything is completely crazy.
The folks at Freeform closed the studios this afternoon. I mentioned they were exploring remote broadcasting options, but one station Board member said "we aren't going to remote broadcast in the short term." I have been waiting for a confirmation email, & I have been working on Self Help Radio, but I suspect that there won't be one this week.
There hasn't been any information from KBOO about submitting shows, either. I spent most of today wondering what the next couple of months will mean for me, radio wise. I suspect at some point in there I may be battling a virus - as will many others.
Surprise! A radio show about surprise is (not surprisingly?) probably not going to happen!
Friday, March 13, 2020
Shutdown
Today I almost subbed a show on KBOO. It was a folky show, they found a folky sub in time. I was almost out the door when I heard someone more - is qualified the word? sure - more qualified than I was was available. I confess I wasn't excited about subbing the show, but now I wish I had, because at the end of the day, KBOO closed the station to everyone but staff.
Now, I don't have a show scheduled on KBOO till a week from Thursday, & I will prerecord that. I don't like to prerecord but I understand. The same marching orders came down from XRAY - but as you know, I am no longer doing a show there.
& my beloved Freeform? They are exploring options for remote broadcasting. I hope that works out, although I am not sure how that will work. But I expect - despite how fucked up the world is right now - I expect I will be in the Freeform studios for Self Help Radio come Monday.
But don't quote me on that. Everything is in flux, everything is completely crazy. I think it's amazing we're protecting ourselves but I fear the uncertainty will perhaps drive us even more insane.
But what the hell do I know? I didn't expect this yesterday, what can I say about tomorrow?
Now, I don't have a show scheduled on KBOO till a week from Thursday, & I will prerecord that. I don't like to prerecord but I understand. The same marching orders came down from XRAY - but as you know, I am no longer doing a show there.
& my beloved Freeform? They are exploring options for remote broadcasting. I hope that works out, although I am not sure how that will work. But I expect - despite how fucked up the world is right now - I expect I will be in the Freeform studios for Self Help Radio come Monday.
But don't quote me on that. Everything is in flux, everything is completely crazy. I think it's amazing we're protecting ourselves but I fear the uncertainty will perhaps drive us even more insane.
But what the hell do I know? I didn't expect this yesterday, what can I say about tomorrow?
Thursday, March 12, 2020
Suspending My Sugar Substitute Campaign
This is so completely unimportant but so is this blog & all the radio shows I do. Like you, I am worried about pandemic & I can't be sure what the future holds but let me, for a moment, pretend everything is normal, & talk about the dumb radio shows I do.
Radio shows. Do you know, a year ago, the idea of having more than one show on more than one station was unthinkable? I did a program called the Tuesday Morning Blend on KNON, & the station manager would have "fired" me - they used that term, although of course I didn't get paid for deejaying - if I had done another show at a different noncommercial station. "They are our competition," he would say, even if it were a low-power station in Denton whose signal never reached Dallas County limits.
Which isn't to say that I had a chance to do a show on such a station. While I was in the Dallas/Fort Worth metroplex, there were three low-power fm stations at which I might have done a show. One of them only played "local" music, which was a restriction that would've made it impossible for me to do Self Help Radio, & the other two never wrote me back. The latter two seemed to be content to have a few live deejays & the rest of the time play random music from iTunes or whatever.
Ack! I didn't mean this to be a complaint or a whine. I just wanted to point out that the idea of me doing three radio shows on three different stations - with no complaints by the stations! - the Program Manager at KBOO said, "Hey, we're all in this together" - that is still a bit mind-blowing for me.
Even moreso is the fact that I am doing a show on KBOO. Of the three stations at which I'm involved, KBOO is the most storied, & probably the most respected. Certainly it's the most recognized, which might not mean anything, but when I say I do a show on KBOO, people know what I'm talking about.
In any event, even before the pandemic ratcheted up this week, I was feeling very exhausted doing Sugar Substitute on XRAY so soon after Self Help Radio on Freeform. When I did the show from 6-8am, there were eighteen hours between the end of one show & the beginning of another. That changed when the show was moved to 8-10am. I was getting very little sleep & then rushing off to do another show. & I felt the last few Sugar Substitutes were suffering from my inability to prepare well for them.
Something has happened, though, & it's not just the coronavirus. In April, I am going to be doing the Dickenbock Report - which now airs Thursday mornings from 3-5:30am - on Tuesday mornings from midnight to 3am. In addition to getting an extra half-hour - gulp! - I will be much earlier, when many more people might be listening. (To be fair, I have listeners now - this morning I got three calls, more in one setting than I've ever gotten on my XRAY show.)
But Gary! In April, you will have only fourteen hours between Self Help Radio & the Dickenbock Report! Won't you be tired then too?
Yes. But the Dickenbock Report will happen every other week. & giving up my XRAY slot frees me to work more on the other two shows. I honestly can't believe I'm saying this. But I think it might be better to do just two shows instead of three.
Holy shit, the me in Dallas is like, What the fuck? Do you know what you're giving up?
Yeah, I do. I wrote the Program Manager at XRAY today, after I got an email from the Operations Manager saying that if deejays can prerecord their shows, they should do so. I don't want to prerecord Sugar Substitute. I hope I can resurrect it at a different time in the future. It was the one place I could play new music, which I love to do. (Maybe I can do it on Freeform during sub shifts now?)
Wow this is a lot of writing. It's my way of saying goodbye to Sugar Substitute for now. & to prepare for the Dickenbock Report on Monday nights/Tuesday mornings in April.
Now if you don't mind I need to drink a little to insure I have a decent amount of nightmares about COVID-19 tonight.
Radio shows. Do you know, a year ago, the idea of having more than one show on more than one station was unthinkable? I did a program called the Tuesday Morning Blend on KNON, & the station manager would have "fired" me - they used that term, although of course I didn't get paid for deejaying - if I had done another show at a different noncommercial station. "They are our competition," he would say, even if it were a low-power station in Denton whose signal never reached Dallas County limits.
Which isn't to say that I had a chance to do a show on such a station. While I was in the Dallas/Fort Worth metroplex, there were three low-power fm stations at which I might have done a show. One of them only played "local" music, which was a restriction that would've made it impossible for me to do Self Help Radio, & the other two never wrote me back. The latter two seemed to be content to have a few live deejays & the rest of the time play random music from iTunes or whatever.
Ack! I didn't mean this to be a complaint or a whine. I just wanted to point out that the idea of me doing three radio shows on three different stations - with no complaints by the stations! - the Program Manager at KBOO said, "Hey, we're all in this together" - that is still a bit mind-blowing for me.
Even moreso is the fact that I am doing a show on KBOO. Of the three stations at which I'm involved, KBOO is the most storied, & probably the most respected. Certainly it's the most recognized, which might not mean anything, but when I say I do a show on KBOO, people know what I'm talking about.
In any event, even before the pandemic ratcheted up this week, I was feeling very exhausted doing Sugar Substitute on XRAY so soon after Self Help Radio on Freeform. When I did the show from 6-8am, there were eighteen hours between the end of one show & the beginning of another. That changed when the show was moved to 8-10am. I was getting very little sleep & then rushing off to do another show. & I felt the last few Sugar Substitutes were suffering from my inability to prepare well for them.
Something has happened, though, & it's not just the coronavirus. In April, I am going to be doing the Dickenbock Report - which now airs Thursday mornings from 3-5:30am - on Tuesday mornings from midnight to 3am. In addition to getting an extra half-hour - gulp! - I will be much earlier, when many more people might be listening. (To be fair, I have listeners now - this morning I got three calls, more in one setting than I've ever gotten on my XRAY show.)
But Gary! In April, you will have only fourteen hours between Self Help Radio & the Dickenbock Report! Won't you be tired then too?
Yes. But the Dickenbock Report will happen every other week. & giving up my XRAY slot frees me to work more on the other two shows. I honestly can't believe I'm saying this. But I think it might be better to do just two shows instead of three.
Holy shit, the me in Dallas is like, What the fuck? Do you know what you're giving up?
Yeah, I do. I wrote the Program Manager at XRAY today, after I got an email from the Operations Manager saying that if deejays can prerecord their shows, they should do so. I don't want to prerecord Sugar Substitute. I hope I can resurrect it at a different time in the future. It was the one place I could play new music, which I love to do. (Maybe I can do it on Freeform during sub shifts now?)
Wow this is a lot of writing. It's my way of saying goodbye to Sugar Substitute for now. & to prepare for the Dickenbock Report on Monday nights/Tuesday mornings in April.
Now if you don't mind I need to drink a little to insure I have a decent amount of nightmares about COVID-19 tonight.
Monday, March 09, 2020
Self Help Radio 030920: Every Day
(Okay, what's with me & the movie posters? Original image here.)
Wow! For the fifth time in this show's - what is it now? - nearly eighteen year history, I managed to program an entire show with only songs that have as their title the show's theme. Never mind that there are both "Everyday" & "Every Day" songs. They are synonymous, & anyway, are you that much of a stickler? Really? The truth is, I didn't start out wanting to do the show that way - it just so happened I noticed an overabundance of songs called "Every Day" (or "Everyday" - actually there are more songs with that title although they do in fact mean "Every Day"). One thing led to another. & I do like a challenge.
In addition to that, & interviews with silly people, I went out into the field - well, it was a dog park - off leash! - & asked folks about things they loved & hated every day. That was fun, & I hope to do more of that sort of thing, but I'm convinced people think I'm a weirdo, so I try to make sure I have my dogs nearby to prove I have a reason to be there. One woman thought I was from a right-wing radio show!
Anywhatever, the show can be listened to every day (not recommended) or any time you want (that's probably a better plan) at Self Help Radio dot net. There's a username (SHR) & a password (selfhelp) but also that information is on the page so what's the big deal? What happened on the show, as well as the songs that were played, is listed below.
Seriously, though, I couldn't do this show every day. I am aware of that.
Self Help Radio Every Day Show
"Everyday" Buddy Holly _Not Fade Away: The Complete Studio Recordings & More_
"Everyday" Mack Self _The Sun Country Box_
"Everyday" Johnny Rivers _Johnny Rivers_
introduction & definitions
"Everyday" The Challengers _Witchcraft In The AirL Detroit Soul 1957-1962_
"Everyday" The Moody Blues _The Singles+_
"Every Day" Sandie Shaw _Nothing Comes Easy_
"Every Day" The Outcasts _Acid Visions: The Complete Collection, Vol. 2_
"Every Day" The Golden Dawn _Power Plant_
one of Gary's favorite words!
"Every Day" Sleepy Labeef _Larger Than Life_
"Everyday" The Climax Chicago Blues Band _A Lot Of Bottle_
"Everyday" Gil Scott-Heron _Small Talk At 125th & Lenox_
"Everyday" Dead Fingers Talk _Storm The Reality Studios... Plus_
"Everyday" Rikk Agnew _All By Myself_
interview with expert millennials Alyssa & Jason
"Everyday" The Delmontes _Carousel_
"Every Day" Go Sailor _Go Sailor_
"Everyday" Ivy _Realistic_
"Everyday" Collette Carter _The New Stroboscopic_
"Everyday" Thee Headcoats _Beached Earls_
interview with sociologist Dr. Stang Foley
"Everyday" A Drag City Super Session _Tramps, Traitors, & Little Devils_
"Every Day" Sing Sing _Madame Sing-Sing_
"Every Day" The School _Wasting Away & Wondering_
"Every Day" The Sunbathers _A Weekend Away With..._
"Everyday" Indian Jewelry _Free Gold!_
"Everyday" Keeps _Brief Spirit_
"Everyday" Sacred Paws _Strike A Match_
"Everyday" Weyes Blood _Titanic Rising_
conclusion & goodbye
"Everyday" Yo La Tengo _And Then Nothing Turned Itself Inside-Out_
"Everyday" Saturday Looks Good To Me _Saturday Looks Good To Me_
Sunday, March 08, 2020
Whither Every Day?
(Original image here.)
First, to assuage your fears: this show is not an announcement that Self Help Radio will be on every day. Yes! I can hear your sigh of relief. I'm on the radio enough as it is - imagine if you had to suffer through daily episodes of Self Help Radio! Don't you have enough to worry about as it is?
Second, I know a while back I did a show with the theme "the days of the week". You might be asking yourself, "Isn't that the same as 'every day'?" No, & you're overthinking it. That show featured songs which happened to mention every day of the week. This show simply features songs where people talk about things that happen every day. Non-specifically. It's different. I swear.
Third - & I can't promise this will happen - but I might be able to do on this show what I have only done four times before - & that was when I did shows with the themes heaven, tell me, everybody knows, & hold on - I might be able to play nothing but songs with the theme as the title for the entire show.
There will be one catch - there are songs called "every day" & songs called "everyday." I plan to play nothing but songs with those titles. But are they the same title? It's for you to decided. I got nothing to prove.
Tomorrow! Monday! From 8-10am! On Freeform Portland! 90.3 & 98.3 fm! freeformportland.org! It's not every day you hear a show like this!
Saturday, March 07, 2020
Preface To Every Day: What Do You Do Every Day
That's an interesting question - what do I do every day? I asked the internet that question & instead of some social or psychological answer, it proceeded to tell me what I should do every day. For example, this web page from lifehack.org had thirty suggestions "that improve the quality of your life." Let me go through the first few, may I?
1. Drink a cup of coffee or tea. The caffeine will help to give you a much-needed boost – and it is pretty delicious too!
Wow, is this web page sponsored by the coffee or tea industry? I don't like hot liquids, & I try to stay away from caffeine if I could. I do drink caffeinated sodas when I am up late/early to do radio, but luckily I haven't felt addicted so far.
2. Wake up earlier.
Spoken like someone who doesn't have to be awake at 3am to do a radio show. & if you wake up earlier every day, won't you be waking up around your bedtime?
3. Clean out your email.
As someone who does this, I don't think it improves the quality of my life. I'm just a tad OCD, & when I spend a few minutes to go through email, I often think to myself, "God, I'd be so much happier if have an inbox with a thousand emails in it didn't make me uncomfortable."
4. Make a friend smile.
All I can say is that my cats are humorless fucks.
5. Read the newspaper.
It's interesting it doesn't specify which newspaper. I have a few I check out online, but most recently I've become aware of a local paper that seems to collect the most horrible stories you've read on Next Door. If I read that every day, I'd be afraid to go outside.
6. Hug someone you are close to.
Again, I could use some new cats.
7. Have a quick tidy up if you have a few spare minutes.
Is this even English?
8. Write a diary entry or a blog post.
Sigh.
It is true that I don't write in this blog every day - I usually do it five days a week. Isn't that enough? Seriously. Isn't it?
Or is it already too much?
1. Drink a cup of coffee or tea. The caffeine will help to give you a much-needed boost – and it is pretty delicious too!
Wow, is this web page sponsored by the coffee or tea industry? I don't like hot liquids, & I try to stay away from caffeine if I could. I do drink caffeinated sodas when I am up late/early to do radio, but luckily I haven't felt addicted so far.
2. Wake up earlier.
Spoken like someone who doesn't have to be awake at 3am to do a radio show. & if you wake up earlier every day, won't you be waking up around your bedtime?
3. Clean out your email.
As someone who does this, I don't think it improves the quality of my life. I'm just a tad OCD, & when I spend a few minutes to go through email, I often think to myself, "God, I'd be so much happier if have an inbox with a thousand emails in it didn't make me uncomfortable."
4. Make a friend smile.
All I can say is that my cats are humorless fucks.
5. Read the newspaper.
It's interesting it doesn't specify which newspaper. I have a few I check out online, but most recently I've become aware of a local paper that seems to collect the most horrible stories you've read on Next Door. If I read that every day, I'd be afraid to go outside.
6. Hug someone you are close to.
Again, I could use some new cats.
7. Have a quick tidy up if you have a few spare minutes.
Is this even English?
8. Write a diary entry or a blog post.
Sigh.
It is true that I don't write in this blog every day - I usually do it five days a week. Isn't that enough? Seriously. Isn't it?
Or is it already too much?
Friday, March 06, 2020
SXSW & The Single Coronavirus
It really shocked me today when I found out they cancelled South By Southwest in Austin this year. Until I discovered that the people behind South By Southwest didn't cancel the festival - the city of Austin did. Read more here.
Which makes sense - South By Southwest (SXSW) makes millions of dollars for Austin, why in the world would any capitalist enterprise cancel any event for health reasons? This is not to say it won't be without consequences - local businesses, especially local venues, will suffer the most. They usually operated with such a slim profit margin, a music festival might float them for the rest of the year. I have read reports about venues which have ordered lots of beer for the festival - which was to begin next week - who cannot return the order if there are not thousands descending on Austin for the week.
At the moment, I don't think I'm nervous about going to see shows - there are a few in March here in Portland I might want to see - but if this keeps happening, what will our future concert calendars look like? Will the folks who bought wristbands & badges for SXSW be reimbursed for their purchase? Will the folks who booked flights to Austin (& reserved hotel rooms) back out, or come anyway? I had read that some bands cancelled their SXSW showcases - what about the bands that didn't?
Now, I know I don't live in Austin anymore, & none of this matters to me in the abstract (I most probably won't visit Austin ever again). But I feel a strange kinship to the folks who live at the edges of the monstrosity that the South By Southwest music festival has become.
Mostly I want everyone to be safe. Is this something that will become more awful with time? If so, good! Cancel the music festivals! If not - well, let's be glad we were safe. All the people I know in Austin will be safe. That's good enough for me.
Which makes sense - South By Southwest (SXSW) makes millions of dollars for Austin, why in the world would any capitalist enterprise cancel any event for health reasons? This is not to say it won't be without consequences - local businesses, especially local venues, will suffer the most. They usually operated with such a slim profit margin, a music festival might float them for the rest of the year. I have read reports about venues which have ordered lots of beer for the festival - which was to begin next week - who cannot return the order if there are not thousands descending on Austin for the week.
At the moment, I don't think I'm nervous about going to see shows - there are a few in March here in Portland I might want to see - but if this keeps happening, what will our future concert calendars look like? Will the folks who bought wristbands & badges for SXSW be reimbursed for their purchase? Will the folks who booked flights to Austin (& reserved hotel rooms) back out, or come anyway? I had read that some bands cancelled their SXSW showcases - what about the bands that didn't?
Now, I know I don't live in Austin anymore, & none of this matters to me in the abstract (I most probably won't visit Austin ever again). But I feel a strange kinship to the folks who live at the edges of the monstrosity that the South By Southwest music festival has become.
Mostly I want everyone to be safe. Is this something that will become more awful with time? If so, good! Cancel the music festivals! If not - well, let's be glad we were safe. All the people I know in Austin will be safe. That's good enough for me.
Thursday, March 05, 2020
Corona
As is my wont, I discussed the coronavirus on Sugar Substitute this week, & it's something I read about occasionally (all right, constantly) when I am surfing the net. Outside the world seems pretty much the same - spring is coming tentatively to Portland, people are still waiting for buses & walking their dogs & driving way too slow - but at Costco they were out of toilet paper (!) & as I was leaving I heard to employees say, "Well, that was the last of the Clorox wipes!"
Now it says twelve confirmed dead in the United States. There are many cases just north & south of us here. It's a bit frightening. But, again, I am not seeing folks in masks, I don't know a person who's been unwell, & though I am taking precautions - wiping down consoles at the radio stations before I use them, for example - I feel a little silly doing so.
But, yes, I'm anxious about it. I watched Bill Maher last Friday & he seemed a bit freaked out. I watched John Oliver on Sunday & he was a bit more helpful. In fact, I'm going to watch that segment again. Want to watch with me? Cool.
Now it says twelve confirmed dead in the United States. There are many cases just north & south of us here. It's a bit frightening. But, again, I am not seeing folks in masks, I don't know a person who's been unwell, & though I am taking precautions - wiping down consoles at the radio stations before I use them, for example - I feel a little silly doing so.
But, yes, I'm anxious about it. I watched Bill Maher last Friday & he seemed a bit freaked out. I watched John Oliver on Sunday & he was a bit more helpful. In fact, I'm going to watch that segment again. Want to watch with me? Cool.
Monday, March 02, 2020
Self Help Radio 030220: Quite A Show
Yes, the first Self Help Radio on from 8-10am on Freeform was indeed "quite a show." Do not make a drinking game out of the foul-ups, bleeps, & blunders, or you'll have alcohol poisoning before the second hour begins. "Quite" as an adverb here can mean so many things, it's sweet if you assume it means something intensifying, as in "quite good," but more often than not, for this show anyway, it goes the other way: "that's not quite right."
Still, it was quite the time this morning, what with English computers interrupting, & old dissolute mentors calling in. There was music, poetry, secret call-ins, & I almost - almost! - revealed Masonic secrets that probably would've gotten me killed, if not audited.
You can listen now at Self Help Radio dot net. As always, it's quite inconvenient that you'll need to know a username & a password, but as usual it's SHR & selfhelp respectively. What happens on the show - which too two hours, quite a lot of time! - is listed below.
All right. That's quite enough for now.
Self Help Radio - Quite A Show
"Quite Early Morning" Pete Seeger _The Essential Pete Seeger_
"Quite Ugly One Morning" Warren Zevon _Mr. Bad Example_
"Quite All Right" The Reputations _Electric Power_
introduction & definitions
"Allright/Not Quite" The Apples In Stereo _The Discovery Of A World Inside The Moone_
"Not Quite Burning Bridges" Bunnygrunt _Wish I'd Kept A Scrapbook: A Tribute To Tullycraft_
"Quite Quieter Than Spiders" Joy Electric _The Ministry Of Archers_
"Quite Disappointing" 999 _The 999 Singles Album_
"Mary, Mary Quite Contrary" Ruff Diamond _Mary, Mary Quite Contrary_
an English computer interrupts!
"Quite Unrehearsed" Colin Newman _It Seems_
"Quite Ahead Of My Time" David Bowwow _439 Golden Greats: Never Mind The Originals Here's The HeeBeeGeeBees_
"Standing Quite A Long Way Away" Stephen Fry & Hugh Laurie _Saturday Live, Vol. 1_
"Almost But Not Quite There" Traffic Jam (Status Quo) _Quotations, Vol. 1: The Beginning_
"The Hour Of Not Quite Rain" Buffalo Springfield _Last Time Around_
idioms - with a Ned Dry interruption!
"Quite Content" The Soup Dragons _Scared To Get Happy (A Story Of Indie-Pop 1980-1989)_
"She Seems Quite Free" The June Brides _She Seems Quite Free_
"Not Quite Right" The Cannanes & Steward _Communicating At An Unknown Rate_
"Why I Am Quite Handy With The Ladies" Emo Philips _Live From The Hasty Pudding Theatre_
"Not Quite A Lady" Miss World _Keeping Up With Miss World_
Gary's old mentor, Pat "Stinky Pete" Millburn, calls in!
"I'll Never Quite Get Over You" The Hep Stars _We & Our Cadillac_
"Not Quite A Yes" Arab Strap _Philophobia_
"Quite Like You" Andy Shauf _The Party_
"Not Quite The Same" Temples _Hot Motion_
"Quite Unusual" Front 242 _Official Version_
conclusion & goodbye
"Quite Naturally" The Jellydots _Hey You Kids!_
"Quite Good Time" 50,000,000 Elvis Fans Can't Be Wrong _Baby Trash_
"Quite A Reputation" The Chymes _Girls In The Garage, Vol. 2_
"Quite Fast" David Moses & Group _Swinging London: The Accidental Genius Of Saga Records 1968-1970_
"Must Be Quite A Show" Marvin Gaye _Motown Unreleased 1964_
"The Picture Became Quite Clear" The Manhattans _With These Hands_
Sunday, March 01, 2020
Whither Quite A Show?
(Informative information to inform you here.)
That's correct: this week's Self Help Radio theme is "quite a show." Which means of course a bunch of songs that prominently feature the word "quite." If you don't know how to use the word "quite," you will get many examples on this week's show, & you can also watch the video I linked to above. It's actually quite entertaining & informative.
There's something else going on, of course - Self Help Radio is changing timeslots for the new Freeform Schedule (which began this morning at midnight!). We're moving up from 6-8am to 8-10am. & I felt it would be a good introduction to the show to any new listener to let them know that Self Help Radio is "quite a show" - but also that the show does dumb things like spend an entire show playing songs & talking about an adverb. It does that from time-to-time. That's how Self Help Radio rolls. It's quite ridiculous.
The show is on tomorrow, Monday morning, new timeslot! from 8-10am on 90.3+98.3fm Freeform Portland freeform portland dot org. Will it be quite entertaining? With "quite" as the theme, it better be!