Random thoughts & other unrelated information from the dude who does "Self Help Radio" - a radio show which originated in Austin, Texas & now makes noise in Portland, Oregon. Listen to new & old shows & look at playlists at selfhelpradio.net.
Saturday, February 20, 2021
Photographs Of Places I've Lived # 22: SE 62nd Ave.
Friday, February 19, 2021
Souvenirs Of The Souvenirs Show
At some point during the souvenirs show on Tuesday morning, I asked listeners (assuming there were any) to send me pics on the show's text line (which is 971 319 4847) of their own collections of souvenirs.
One person chose to humor me - & I asked his permission to share them on the blog. He said yes as long as I credit them to "Jerome Zone In The Jerome Zone." So, here are the souvenirs by Jerome Zone In The Jerome Zone:
Tuesday, February 16, 2021
Self Help Radio 021621: Souvenirs
Monday, February 15, 2021
Whither Souvenirs?
Sunday, February 14, 2021
Preface To Souvenirs: Power Off
Saturday, February 13, 2021
Photographs Of Places I've Lived # 21: Bal Lake Dr.
Friday, February 12, 2021
Valentine's Day Films
If you heard this week's Valentine's episode of Self Help Radio - & if you didn't, you can do so at the Self Help Radio website! - you heard another installment of Chuck's Happily Unsophisticated Cinema Korner featuring two specific kinds of Valentine's movies: a selection of "psychotronic + love" films; & a selection of films in which hearts are ripped out of bodies. Chuck is nothing if not a romantic.
He has prepared Youtube playlists & IMDb lists for each! The links for those are:
Psychotronic + Love Youtube | Psychotronic + Love IMDb
Hearts Ripped Out Youtube | Hearts Ripped Out IMDb
If you're like me, & have never heard the term "psychotronic" before, Chuck has provided as link: toward a definition of psychotronic film.
Chuck is our resident cinephile & you can keep up with his film watching on his Twitter feed, & read his Letterbox reviews right here. He keeps adding to these even after the show!
Happy Valentine's Day! Hopefully there's something here for you to watch. Especially if you, like me, are a bit snowed-in this holiday weekend.
Tuesday, February 09, 2021
Self Help Radio 020921: Valentine's Day 2021 - Make You Mine
Monday, February 08, 2021
Whither Make You Mine (Valentine's Day 2021)?
Sunday, February 07, 2021
Preface To Valentine's Day 2021: Make You Mine
Valentine's Day is one of those holidays on which I like to do a show but for which I also like to have a unique theme. In the nearly nineteen years of Self Help Radio, I've done seventeen Valentine's Day show, & the themes of those shows have been:
2003: the first show, just general Valentine's stuff
2004: love
2005: hate
2007: crushes
2008: jealousy
2009: boyfriends
2010: girlfriends
2011: love songs
2012: lovesick
2013: love is...
2014: valentines
2015: famous lovers
2016: heartbreak
2017: sweethearts
2018: roses
2019: flirting
2020: the heart
The reason I didn't do a Valentine's Day show in 2006 is, I believe, because the building which housed my radio station had had a fire & was closed for a couple of weeks. I have no idea what I had planned for that year - I suspect nothing. I didn't plan ahead that much in those days. In fact, there was a popular show on the local NPR affiliate in which the host would come up with a theme & have his interns find songs for him, & a couple of times when I was talking to people, they'd say, "Oh yeah, self-important NPR guy covered that theme last Thursday!" One time a guy called me & asked if I were trying to copy him. I said, "No, I don't even listen to his show." "That's weird," the guy said, amazed. "I wonder what that means." I think we had both done shows about the devil. Apparently my soul was in danger.
All this, by the way, from someone who's never really celebrated Valentine's Day. I bought a few candy hearts to give to female friends on Valentine's Day in twelfth grade, but I don't think I meant them as anything more than platonic. In fact, one of the women gave it back to me - she was mad at me at the time - & so I gave it to my mother, who was very touched. I guess I never really did anything nice for her when I was a teenager.
This year I think the only thing the wife & I are looking forward to for Valentine's Day is the return of John Oliver's show. But hopefully this week's Self Help Radio will also be a bit enjoyable.
Saturday, February 06, 2021
The Street On Which There Are Three Empty Houses
There's a street near where I live, & on that street there are three houses that sit empty. One of them I call haunted. One is doomed, the other is just lonely. I regularly take pictures of the haunted house. I want to make a movie of its decline. The doomed house was still alive when we first walked past it, there were hoarders & perhaps drug users living in it, & around it - cars & campers with people living in them were parked on the street - the doomed house is on a corner. Come to think of it, the haunted house is on a corner, too, but the street it's on is a busy one, & no one lives in it so no one lives around it. The lonely house is just lonely.
There's a slightly sadistic part of me that's waiting for the doomed house to come down. A couple of weeks ago, its outer shell was removed, there are just exposed boards there now, with flat plywood over the windows. The same people that stripped the house surrounded it with a border of some material in black bags, which I suppose is supposed to protect from detritus & runoff. Nothing has happened since the stripping. Well, except someone pried the plywood from a window, & perhaps went in & looked around. That wasn't me. I would've liked to do it, but I was raised to obey 'no trespassing' signs. Also, I'm usually there with my dogs & who would watch them as I awkwardly shimmied through the window?
The lonely house hasn't changed at all since the first time I saw it. Looking straight at it, you might not think it was empty. It has a "no trespassing" sign on the front door which is conspicuously large, it pops out like an eye behind coke-bottle glasses. But a private person might have such a sign, why not. It's only when you look down the overgrown driveway to the side of the house that you see the windows have been boarded up. Like the haunted house, there appears to be no sign of improvement or development. It's just sitting there, lonesome, waiting patiently for its next act. Someone once lived there. Maybe someone will again.
Why leave the houses to be doomed, haunted, or lonely? Your guess is as good as mine but we happened a couple of weeks ago upon a neighbor who was chatty about the house across the alley from hers. We often walk by this house but never knew it was empty. She explained it had been, for years - since she'd lived in the neighborhood, at least. Now there was excitement - someone was doing repairs! painting! checking the foundation! all that good kinda stuff! But why now?
The neighbor (whose name I don't remember, although I do remember the name of her rescue dog, which is Neil) told us that the house had been inherited by a couple of siblings - a brother & a sister - who squabbled about its fate. The sister wanted to sell, the brother wanted to rent. Unable to compromise, the house sat empty for years, maybe even a couple of decades. What had changed? The sister had died, it seems. Now the house was being prepared for rental. Is it weird to imagine that the sister cursed her brother's win before she died? That, however she met her end, it took longer because of this certainly meaningless tiff?
The doomed house is almost certainly being demolished; its owner lives elsewhere, & tolerated the drug users & the hoarders as long as they paid rent. When the damage they inflicted to the house & property became more than the market share of rent, they were evicted, the house closed up, & plans to sell the place were made. It may no longer belong to the current owner, & people who live nearby worry what will eventually end up there. An obnoxiously large & "modern" home? A series of cramped townhouses? There are probably ways to find out that involve visiting city planning offices but there's a kind of nervous joy that comes from a guessing that feels like worrying.
The haunted house appears to be owned by folks who visit occasionally. I think we might have seen them once - they appear to be quite old. The property has a garden that is grown in the spring & summer - do the owners do it? Or do they allow the neighbors to use the property? One thing is sure, the place is falling apart. I suspect left alone it would crumble in a couple of years. & frankly it is left alone, mostly.
The lonely house remains lonely. It should be my favorite but it isn't. & that makes it even more lonely.
Friday, February 05, 2021
Supposed To Do That Places I Used To Live Thing But Tired
It's late Friday. Had Indian food & a donut for dinner. Just watched Bill Maher. Am quite tired. Want to sleep & wake up early because I have a show to put together. The show's not live anymore, I wonder if I've mentioned that. I need it in by midnight tomorrow. I live tweet the show, though, so I am there live. I also record the show as if it's live. Anyway, the next place I've lived I think is my favorite. I want time to write properly about it. & I won't have that time tonight or probably even tomorrow. Being tired is a fascinating feeling. It's kind of a helpless feeling, really. & when I get into bed I can't fall asleep right away no matter how tired I am. I knew a girl once, we had sort of dated but remained friends, one of the men she was with after me, she was talking about him, maybe trying to make me jealous? Anyway, she told me that he would tell her, when they were in bed, "Good night," turn & immediately fall asleep. If she noticed any envy in my face it was that. Holy shit what an amazing superpower. I couldn't go to sleep immediately if my very life depended on it. Or the opposite. If someone said, "You know what? It doesn't matter if you fall asleep right away or not." My brain would be like, "Cool! I wonder what the zoning situation is in regards to alleys vis-a-vis homeless people parking old RVs in them." That was from today's nap. I set aside ninety minutes & managed to sleep probably 45. But then again I sometimes sleep without being aware I'm asleep, so that's unfair. Anyway, I am tired. My brain races when I'm tired. So this is what I'm going to write tonight. Sorry. I don't even know if I have the energy to find a picture of our old Fort Worth house. When the new owners have painted white. It's so strange. It's a brick house & they painted the bricks white. I can't bear to look at it. Time for sleeps now. Good night. If you check back in thirty, though, I'll probably still be awake.
Tuesday, February 02, 2021
Self Help Radio 020221: Glow
Monday, February 01, 2021
Whither Glow?
Sunday, January 31, 2021
Preface To Glow: Idioms With Glow
Saturday, January 30, 2021
Disambiguation (disambiguation)
Getting to that page on the Wikipedia where you discover a word you like - a name you thought you knew - something you might have suspected was unique - was not - has other meanings. Isn't a homonym but you might have thought so. Disambiguation! "The process of identifying which meaning of a word is used in context."
There's not a synonym for synonym*, palindrome isn't a palindrome**, & onomatopoeia isn't a sound naming itself. But disambiguation has a disambiguation page on Wikipedia. Which somehow seems appropriate.
If there were a page for Self Help Radio on Wikipedia (which there isn't), it would probably be on the disambiguation page for "self-help radio" (also not a page). & "self-help radio" might be on a separate page of different types of radio, maybe kinds of "talk radio" (which does have a page but doesn't mention self-help radio).
It's late. You're just looking for information. Maybe just curious. Maybe you made a bet. You discover there's some disambiguation. So you look some more.
*Some smarty-pants think differently.
**The palindrome of Bolton, by the way, is not "Notlob."
Friday, January 29, 2021
Photographs Of Places I've Lived # 20: Diaz Ave.
Tuesday, January 26, 2021
Self Help Radio 012621: A Private Show
Monday, January 25, 2021
Whither A Private Show?
Sunday, January 24, 2021
Preface To A Private Show: A Private Person?
When I was younger, I wasn't a terribly private person. In the 90s I found myself in a Usenet group & posted enough that, when they did a "who's who" of regular posters, my name was there & I was labeled a "confessionalist."
Part of me thinks it's because of my mother. My mother was an inveterate liar, but it's not entirely clear if she lied to protect herself or to promote herself. Almost certainly she lied enough to start to believe the lies she told. At the end of her life, she'd recall some story in as close to a way that she could to be somewhat truthful & also make herself the hero. I spent a lot of times telling her, That's not the way it happened. She would say, No? & then tell the same story to me a few weeks later.
But more than that, my mother loved to reveal things about herself that were just embarrassing. Maybe not entirely embarrassing to her, but they didn't necessarily speak too well of her. For example, as she got older, it became difficult for her to cut her own toenails. That in & of itself is a weird thing to want to tell anybody. My mother would tell me that, & then inform me how lucky she was that she had my sister to cut them for her.
Who's more pitiable in that story? My mother? Or my sister?
She must have been doing this her entire life, & I must have noticed it, because I told people some incredibly personal things when I was young. It would be a terrible idea now to give examples; you'll have to take my word for it. By the time I made it into college, I suppose I had become more reserved, but somehow the internet brought that awful side of me back. Although I do imagine I stopped doing that once I was labeled a "confessionalist." That stung. My last posts on the group were my awful poetry.
As for oversharing: I can't be entirely sure if I saw the sneaky reasons why my mother would do that. By appearing to be somewhat open, revealing perhaps some personal issue, she might convince you that she was actually an honest person. & you might ask, "If she told me this thing about her ailments, why would she lie to me about other things?"
Was that something I had absorbed & was employing for my own sake? I wish I knew.
What's true is that I'll probably talk to anyone about anything if they just ask. But if they don't ask, these days, I am not going to be forthcoming. I don't tell people when I feel wronged or hurt, I don't air my insecurities or jealousies, I don't offer unsolicited criticism. In that sense I feel like I am a much more private person than I used to be. Than I ever really was.